Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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berlynnwall wrote: »10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it.
My theory is that both men and women think about sex a lot, but as women we are always doing 400 things at once, so yes, the thoughts are there just as much as they are for men, but we're able to focus on many other things at the same time.0 -
Oh, that's awful.My confession: Monday was a bad day, I went to a funeral for my best friends little brother (22year old kid died from brain cancer). It was so devestating to see my girl so broken that on the hour and a half drive back I broke down too. First I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and asked for a Boston creme donut. They only had vanilla frosting and jelly left so I got the vanilla but it was not what I wanted so I stopped at the next DD as well and luckily they had a Boston Creme. Next I had to get gas and got a twix ice cream bar from the quick mart. Next I pulled over again and got a bag of hot fries.... the big bag but I only ate half.... ok ok 3/4ths. Bad bad bad day. So on Tuesday I baked a Hummingbird cake....
Give yourself a break about the eating and just get back to it now.
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plutonianfrog wrote: »
I was always the biggest in my class, both weight and height, until finally in high school when some of the boys finally had growth spurts, then I was only biggest by weight. I grew up eating crap food at home (and if anyone wants to argue the whole no such thing as crap food - no, you cannot justify a child eating fast food or pizza for literally every dinner year round, so stop trying).
I was nearly 30 before I managed to successfully lose weight. Prior to that I'd lost up to 80 lbs at a time, but it never stayed off, and, of course, always came back with extra. I had a lot of bad binge habits to fix, as well as a lot of mental readjusting to do. You can make the process a lot easier if you get help. Some people are way to quick to dismiss it as a "willpower" issue and you just need to practice it. What you actually need to do is deprogram your entire lifetime of how you think about food and yourself. There are therapists who specialize in that. Having the tools to reteach yourself how you view food and your perception of yourself can take out a lot of the "hard work" some people think they need to do as penance for being fat.
Yes seeing a therapist but it's a slow road, lots of scruples for me around being fat. Another huge issue is cooking, mom's cooking style was insanely unhealthy (protip: fry everything then fry it again) so it's so weird to try and taste things that are prepared with health in mind.
That was such a huge thing for me! I had no idea what things were supposed to taste like until well after I moved out. If it wasn't all super sweet and super salty, it was like it had no taste at all.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
Until recently I had one friend who I actually hung out with in real life. A few weeks ago, I forced myself to reach out to an acquaintance who had a new baby and it went well, so now I have 2 friends. I am jealous of women who are close to their sisters - my sister is on drugs and won't talk to me. /sad
I feel that way about sisters sometimes too. I have a sister that lives far away so we literally only see each other for a day or less once every few years. We get along, but are not close.
My friends have dwindled down over the years, there are four that were toxic that have been cut out for years and I am much better for it.
I have one very close girlfriend since I was four years old, but she lives a few hours away and we are both so busy we only see each other a couple times a year. I have one close girlfriend that used to live here but now we get together once a year for a girls weekend. And I have a small handful where I live that I will get together with when possible, which is not often do to time.
My best girlfriend died two years ago this month, we were super close for 20 years. We did so much together that people often thought we were sisters. I still miss her terribly, I think about her every single day and often still cry. She was very sick for the last while she was alive, and I am glad she is not suffering anymore, but I still was not ready to say good-bye to her.
Edited to add that other than my sister that lives far away, I have no family other than my children. So friends have always been very important to me.0 -
courtenaymichele wrote: »My coworker and I were just talking smack about our boss because we thought we were the only ones in the office. Nope, he's here and heard it all...
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berlynnwall wrote: »10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it.
My theory is that both men and women think about sex a lot, but as women we are always doing 400 things at once, so yes, the thoughts are there just as much as they are for men, but we're able to focus on many other things at the same time.
That...makes sense to me. They let it distract them more for sure.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
Until recently I had one friend who I actually hung out with in real life. A few weeks ago, I forced myself to reach out to an acquaintance who had a new baby and it went well, so now I have 2 friends. I am jealous of women who are close to their sisters - my sister is on drugs and won't talk to me. /sad
I feel that way about sisters sometimes too. I have a sister that lives far away so we literally only see each other for a day or less once every few years. We get along, but are not close.
My friends have dwindled down over the years, there are four that were toxic that have been cut out for years and I am much better for it.
I have one very close girlfriend since I was four years old, but she lives a few hours away and we are both so busy we only see each other a couple times a year. I have one close girlfriend that used to live here but now we get together once a year for a girls weekend. And I have a small handful where I live that I will get together with when possible, which is not often do to time.
My best girlfriend died two years ago this month, we were super close for 20 years. We did so much together that people often thought we were sisters. I still miss her terribly, I think about her every single day and often still cry. She was very sick for the last while she was alive, and I am glad she is not suffering anymore, but I still was not ready to say good-bye to her.
That is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it.
Whaaat....?
I can be that normal. 0 -
tincanonastring wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
How terribly awful for her. I can't imagine.tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
Oh my god. That is the most upsetting thing I think I've ever heard. Give her hugs from me.tincanonastring wrote: »My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
My wife's 3 closest friends died in high school in the same accident and, though she probably won't admit it, I don't think she will ever allow herself to get close to people like that again.
Confession: Despite countless conversations over our 13 years together, I have been unable to convince my wife that she is not responsible for the deaths of her friends and I fear she may never stop blaming herself.
Wow...this is very sad.
I feel for her so *kitten* much. Not only does she blame herself and have a hard time making friends, the accident (car full of kids on spring break got hit by a drunk driver) gave her this intense fatalistic approach to life that, at least in my mind, has held her back from trying new things. I have no reference point to empathize, so all I can offer is sympathy and it kills me to be unable to "fix" it. 0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it.
I second that theory!0 -
Confession: Back before things got out of hand I bought all of Carmen Electra's Fit to Strip exercise videos. I still have them. I wont do them now though, because I feel ridic. being so big and doing those dancer moves.0
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berlynnwall wrote: »Confession: Back before things got out of hand I bought all of Carmen Electra's Fit to Strip exercise videos. I still have them. I wont do them now though, because I feel ridic. being so big and doing those dancer moves.
pshhh. get your sexy on
I will say, I feel ridiculous when I dance too though. I have no rhythm even though I was in marching band and every other type of band all through high school.0 -
BrendaRey74 wrote: »I have a healthier understanding of money then I do calories. For this reason I see each calorie as some type of monetary value that can be used to "purchase" food items through out the day. In order to get the most "bang" out of my buck I check my foods to see if I am getting enough nutrition for the cost of the item just like I would if I was buying a new computer or something. Sometimes when I want to buy something frivolous (cookies!) I grab a side job of exercise to keep me from going into debt. It's become such a weird habit that I have taken to telling my husband "I don't have enough money for that" when he asks if I want to eat something.
Yes!! Exactly! I am not a nut case. Or at least I am not the only nutcase who thinks "that costs too much" meaning the calories are too high. At least I think my sisters know what I mean now when I say something like that.
I do this same thing!! My husband asks me if I want something, and I tell him that I can't. I don't have enough in the bank to cover it. But sometimes, I am guilty of eating it, and then not eating anything else the rest of the day
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therealklane wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Confession: Back before things got out of hand I bought all of Carmen Electra's Fit to Strip exercise videos. I still have them. I wont do them now though, because I feel ridic. being so big and doing those dancer moves.
pshhh. get your sexy on
Agreed! Just go for it!
Confession: I try to always stay "unplugged" evenings and weekends because I'm on the computer all day every day and work (even mentioned it recently in this thread), but I now sign on at least once per weekend to catch up on this thread. If not, I have to try to catch up on Monday morning while trying to work and I don't have time to respond to a few posts I'd like to.0 -
IAmTheGlue wrote: »I have a new confession. There are some people (a couple of men I can think of) on this MFP Community that are complete asssssholes and I wish diarrhea on them every time I read one of their stupid comments trying to ridicule other posters.
That's awesome.
Whenever someone incites my rage, I use all my mental energy to wish their drink falls into their lap. I have a whole little mental scenario dreamed up. ..
"That's right, jerk! You're just having a peaceful dinner and you randomly knock your beverage into your lap. F you! I wished that on you! Lol"
Hilarious!0 -
My biggest foe with food is the following:
I am an emotional eater.
I went through a really nasty divorce 9 years ago. It started while I was pregnant with my second (and last child). Eventually, through bad circumstances, I had to sign my kids over to my (now) ex-husband. I was too sick to be able to keep fighting for them. Now, I still blame myself. I usually stay in bed on Mother's Day, at Christmas and on their birthdays. I have major guilt feelings, like I should have continued to fight, even though I physically couldn't at the time. A lot of times at night, while my husband is at work, I feel it the most. This is when I tend to give in the most, when I CRAVE the bad foods - because it is going to make me not feel so bad. (Or so I think) I don't give in as much as I used to, but it is more than I want to, by far!0 -
Haha then I'm not a normal woman!!10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
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As a man, I don't think about sex all the time, 3-4 hours a week I'm playing Destiny on my Xbox One.0
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Women totally think about sex I think just as much if not more than men, we just don't always verbalize those thoughts!
Confession: I'm confident to the point of cockiness and I have to tone myself down a lot- I enjoy attention and I love talkingb
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really pissed off I only have 7 calories left for the day & I'm hungry as hell, been hungry this whole week, despite working outin treats in the allotted calories. I think it's time for a cheat meal & not the kind that fits into daily, not even weekly calories.
maybe the weekend warrior activities will help, but still. so close to goal weight (1.7 kg) and feeling a defeated and lacking in motivation 0 -
Justygirl77 wrote: »
Haha then I'm not a normal woman!!10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
See!0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Justygirl77 wrote: »
Haha then I'm not a normal woman!!10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
See!
Thank you all for making me feel a lot more normal!0 -
VictoryinJesus927 wrote: »My biggest foe with food is the following:
I am an emotional eater.
I went through a really nasty divorce 9 years ago. It started while I was pregnant with my second (and last child). Eventually, through bad circumstances, I had to sign my kids over to my (now) ex-husband. I was too sick to be able to keep fighting for them. Now, I still blame myself. I usually stay in bed on Mother's Day, at Christmas and on their birthdays. I have major guilt feelings, like I should have continued to fight, even though I physically couldn't at the time. A lot of times at night, while my husband is at work, I feel it the most. This is when I tend to give in the most, when I CRAVE the bad foods - because it is going to make me not feel so bad. (Or so I think) I don't give in as much as I used to, but it is more than I want to, by far!
That is a beautiful dress! I'm so sorry to hear about your physical and emotional struggles. I hope you still have contact with your children. Keep in mind that young children cannot understand a lot of "grown up" things until they reach that age, so don't beat yourself up. They will understand why you did what you did when they get older.
I couldn't believe the difference in my kids from the teenage years to their early 20"s. It was like they all became these brand new people: adults I could have adult conversations with. They have all at various times surprised me by saying, "Hey remember X and I was mad at you for it? I get it now.". Of course, this means they too need to go through the emotions of relationships to understand (both good and bad). But that is all part of growing up.0 -
My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I understand this one too. I have like two friends and then my family. That was why I was so afraid to join in here. I never feel like I fit in anywhere.
Thankfully everyone here has been really nice.
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That's sad - I hope you're able to stay in touch with your kids through phone, letters, email, Skype etc. It will be so important to them that you stay in their lives.VictoryinJesus927 wrote: »My biggest foe with food is the following:
I am an emotional eater.
I went through a really nasty divorce 9 years ago. It started while I was pregnant with my second (and last child). Eventually, through bad circumstances, I had to sign my kids over to my (now) ex-husband. I was too sick to be able to keep fighting for them. Now, I still blame myself. I usually stay in bed on Mother's Day, at Christmas and on their birthdays. I have major guilt feelings, like I should have continued to fight, even though I physically couldn't at the time. A lot of times at night, while my husband is at work, I feel it the most. This is when I tend to give in the most, when I CRAVE the bad foods - because it is going to make me not feel so bad. (Or so I think) I don't give in as much as I used to, but it is more than I want to, by far!
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confession:
(and this ties in to the past 2 or 3 topics in this thread somehow)
I used to be pretty judgmental of people with mental health issues. I'd dismiss it as weakness or attention seeking. Then about 2 years ago I started having panic attacks and anxiety. Fought it for a long time, tried to "fix" it on my own, nothing worked. Finally got help. Very humbling experience to say the least.
Was also drinking quite heavily during this time. Knocking on the door of full-blown alcoholism. I think the anxiety and panic attacks were correlated to the drinking but I'm not which came first. Anyway after getting help the desire to drink really dropped off. Every once in a while I want to have a casual drink like everyone else but I don't trust myself. It might be fine, or I might spiral out of control and right now I'm not willing to take that risk. Drinking heavily, at least for me, was symptomatic of deeper issues I had been harboring.
It all stems back to childhood I really believe that now. I didn't have that bad of childhood but for one aspect and it had a drastic effect on me without my realizing it until recently. I'll confess more on that later don't have the time now...
Oh, and I used to be one of those who thought about sex constantly but after seeking help they put me on an anti-depressant (one more thing I used to not "believe in" doing until it effected me). It has really helped me a lot, but one side effect is it has pretty much killed my libido. I don't necessarily mind it and in fact find it strangely liberating. I can focus my thoughts on more productive things and feel more in control of my mind and body.
Not a confession, but I highly recommend the book "Always the fat kid" - felt like I was reading my own biography and it really helped me understand myself.
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I eat a two spoonfuls of Ben&Jerrys "everything but the" ice cream every night after my workouts0
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My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I understand this one too. I have like two friends and then my family. That was why I was so afraid to join in here. I never feel like I fit in anywhere.
Thankfully everyone here has been really nice.
Everyone is nice on this thread at least. I've gotten my head nearly chopped off for stating an opinion once. I held my own but those vultures were coming at me. lmao. I found it quite amusing actually. How people can get so crazy and defensive on a message board with complete strangers is quite the laugh.0 -
I couldn't believe the difference in my kids from the teenage years to their early 20"s. It was like they all became these brand new people: adults I could have adult conversations with. They have all at various times surprised me by saying, "Hey remember X and I was mad at you for it? I get it now.". Of course, this means they too need to go through the emotions of relationships to understand (both good and bad). But that is all part of growing up.
I'm 24 and I understand this from their perspective. I'm able to talk with my mom now about those teen years and I see things more clearly about how I've matured since high school.
Confession: I only really have one girl who I consider my friend around here. The rest are all online. Haven't seen her since July. She lives 15 minutes away, but I don't drive and she has a kid and she has a 40-minute commute to her work, so she's always busy. We bought Christmas presents for each other and we haven't had the chance to get together. I feel like we don't really relate to each other anymore. She's most likely moving soon to be closer to her job and I'm pretending to be happy for her, but my only real friendship will basically be ending when it happens. It makes me feel lost. I haven't really had any friends since I was 16. I've let myself miss out on so much.0
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