Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
I have two close friends, but I only see them every few months because they are always so busy.
I don't have any friends or people in my life with similar interests. My gym partner will workout with me, but only once or twice a week and doesn't take it as seriously as me. I'd like to go hiking/biking and travel to different places to do those things, but if I ask anyone to go for a walk they look at me like I grew a second head. I also suck at making new friends due to my social awkwardness.
My confession: I am scared to date or even try to approach someone I find attractive because I assume their reaction will be "ewwww". And I also feel that I am not attractive or good enough to even deserve to have someone love me. It makes me sad that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.
I don't have any tips to try to help you change this thinking, but all I can tell you is that is not at ALL how I perceive you just from your posts here! You seem very confident and like a lot of fun. I hope you can change that mindset because you DO deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are.0 -
My other confession is that I'm worried my brother is developing a drinking problem. He used to have a couple drinks on the weekend, and then there were a couple here & there throughout the week and now it seems like he's having multiple drinks almost every night. He goes to work, comes home then plays video games or watches TV for 5 or 6 hours (We are roommates so I see him every day).
I don't know how to approach him on it because he gets defensive really easily (about anything remotely serious you try to discuss) and will just walk away. I don't want to make him feel judged because then I'm worried he'll start drinking in secret, which is much worse.
This was my boyfriend a couple of years ago. He could have 6+ cans a night. It turned out that he had been secretly shopping online and had maxed out 3 credit cards and a loan. When it got to the point he couldn't make the payments, he cracked and told me everything. I lent him as much money as I dared and then sorted out a repayment plan with him. He stopped (or massively slowed down) after that. So I would say there is something else happening to cause him to drink, solve that and you solve the drinking.0 -
AllTheNoms wrote: »I used to make butter sandwiches. Butter? Good. Bread? Good.
It really is a wonder how I ended up overweight.
I would put my daughter to bed, grab a sleeve of saltines and a stick of butter, and go to town.
If a can of sweetened condensed milk enters my home, I will eat it with a spoon. I will also risk cutting up my tongue by licking the remnants off the can lid. Tetanus schmetanus.
Omg! Me too! Sweetened condensed milk has been my kryptonite my whole life!0 -
After/before work its fine to get started exercising but if I don't get a chance I won't do anything at home. I keep trying exercise videos and I keep failing to do them.
Also doesn't help I have 0 willpower when I get home, I see some remotely bad4u thing and I can't eat just one I have to wipeout that mess. I've even had to ban white rice at home because I'll binge on it.
I've been fat and my weight (220) since at least 3rd/4th grade so it's a huge change even thinking about losing the weight. I also have a bunch of issues seeing weight loss as a change of identity, something I may or may not deserve etc.0 -
My other confession is that I'm worried my brother is developing a drinking problem. He used to have a couple drinks on the weekend, and then there were a couple here & there throughout the week and now it seems like he's having multiple drinks almost every night. He goes to work, comes home then plays video games or watches TV for 5 or 6 hours (We are roommates so I see him every day).
I don't know how to approach him on it because he gets defensive really easily (about anything remotely serious you try to discuss) and will just walk away. I don't want to make him feel judged because then I'm worried he'll start drinking in secret, which is much worse.
My husband started to drink too much and I felt comfortable talking to him about it but wouldn't be sure how to broach the issue with my brother. Is there someone who he confides in who might be a better person to discuss it with him, or a third roommate? Is there a deeper reason for the drinking like depression or a breakup?0 -
courtenaymichele wrote: »courtenaymichele wrote: »My coworker and I were just talking smack about our boss because we thought we were the only ones in the office. Nope, he's here and heard it all...
Oooh, ouch! Sorry about that. What has happened since? Awkward silence? Hope you don't have negative repercussions.
Such an awkward silence... He hasn't said anything to me at all today! I mean, we weren't saying anything too bad. Just that we thought no one was there so we should be watching the tv and leaving early. And I did say how he never comes in on Fridays, and when he does he leaves early....
Bet he won't today!0 -
... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
I have two close friends, but I only see them every few months because they are always so busy.
I don't have any friends or people in my life with similar interests. My gym partner will workout with me, but only once or twice a week and doesn't take it as seriously as me. I'd like to go hiking/biking and travel to different places to do those things, but if I ask anyone to go for a walk they look at me like I grew a second head. I also suck at making new friends due to my social awkwardness.
My confession: I am scared to date or even try to approach someone I find attractive because I assume their reaction will be "ewwww". And I also feel that I am not attractive or good enough to even deserve to have someone love me. It makes me sad that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.
I don't have any tips to try to help you change this thinking, but all I can tell you is that is not at ALL how I perceive you just from your posts here! You seem very confident and like a lot of fun. I hope you can change that mindset because you DO deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are.
I was actually on my way back to delete this because I felt like I was throwing myself a pity party.
As for seeming confident here, that's the power of anonymity
I have zero self confidence around the opposite sex. I don't know why, I've never been rejected with an "ewww, gross" so I suppose it's just because that's how I can view myself so I think others do too.
And the not deserving part, I was in a relationship last year and this guy was (seemed) amazing. He was so good to me and made me feel really good about myself (no small feat). I found myself thinking "what makes me so special that I would deserve something this good?". And then when he broke up with me it just kind of cemented the thinking that I don't deserve it (even though he had a totally bogus reason for dumping me).0 -
... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
I have two close friends, but I only see them every few months because they are always so busy.
I don't have any friends or people in my life with similar interests. My gym partner will workout with me, but only once or twice a week and doesn't take it as seriously as me. I'd like to go hiking/biking and travel to different places to do those things, but if I ask anyone to go for a walk they look at me like I grew a second head. I also suck at making new friends due to my social awkwardness.
My confession: I am scared to date or even try to approach someone I find attractive because I assume their reaction will be "ewwww". And I also feel that I am not attractive or good enough to even deserve to have someone love me. It makes me sad that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.
I hate that you feel that way. You are beautiful! Have you considered therapy for low self-esteem?
And I do think most people feel awkward socially a lot of the time . It's just some people are better at covering it up than others. I think once I realized that, I felt better about my anxiety. Also the old adage that most people are too worried about their own looks/failings/insecurities to even notice mine. Everyone is wrapped up in their own shizzle. We are all insecure.0 -
Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I am 3.5 months pregnant. It's been years since I had my last child, and I had conveniently forgotten that being pregnant is not fun. Throwing up, sore boobs, constipation, random steel-wire chin hairs that appear like radio antennae every single night....I just 'popped' and look like I'm 6 months gone (leading to my MIL asking if I had my dates wrong). Oh, and I really, really want a big plate of sushi and several ice cold beers. I dream about it (especially the beer!) Only 6 months to go..
Congratulations! That's so awesome! Not the sore boobs & constipation, but you know!0 -
marissafit06 wrote: »My other confession is that I'm worried my brother is developing a drinking problem. He used to have a couple drinks on the weekend, and then there were a couple here & there throughout the week and now it seems like he's having multiple drinks almost every night. He goes to work, comes home then plays video games or watches TV for 5 or 6 hours (We are roommates so I see him every day).
I don't know how to approach him on it because he gets defensive really easily (about anything remotely serious you try to discuss) and will just walk away. I don't want to make him feel judged because then I'm worried he'll start drinking in secret, which is much worse.
My husband started to drink too much and I felt comfortable talking to him about it but wouldn't be sure how to broach the issue with my brother. Is there someone who he confides in who might be a better person to discuss it with him, or a third roommate? Is there a deeper reason for the drinking like depression or a breakup?
I think it has to do with being unhappy at work and in his current relationship. He's 28, they've been together over 10 years. They don't even act like a couple, I think they're just both so comfortable neither wants to do anything about it.
I don't think his girlfriend will say anything because I don't think she cares. He doesn't have a lot of friends either, and it would be worse if my parents broached the subject.0 -
My other confession is that I'm worried my brother is developing a drinking problem. He used to have a couple drinks on the weekend, and then there were a couple here & there throughout the week and now it seems like he's having multiple drinks almost every night. He goes to work, comes home then plays video games or watches TV for 5 or 6 hours (We are roommates so I see him every day).
I don't know how to approach him on it because he gets defensive really easily (about anything remotely serious you try to discuss) and will just walk away. I don't want to make him feel judged because then I'm worried he'll start drinking in secret, which is much worse.
This was my boyfriend a couple of years ago. He could have 6+ cans a night. It turned out that he had been secretly shopping online and had maxed out 3 credit cards and a loan. When it got to the point he couldn't make the payments, he cracked and told me everything. I lent him as much money as I dared and then sorted out a repayment plan with him. He stopped (or massively slowed down) after that. So I would say there is something else happening to cause him to drink, solve that and you solve the drinking.
That is very good thinking. Yes, try to see if there is something that has caused the increase in the drinking and work from there.0 -
OMG - I love this post. Ok, I'll confess... I actually ate at least 4 lemon Oreos in the car on my home from my mom's (she only lives a mile away) rather than eat them in front of my husband.... then snuck 4 more later in the kitchen while he was watching tv!
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... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
I have two close friends, but I only see them every few months because they are always so busy.
I don't have any friends or people in my life with similar interests. My gym partner will workout with me, but only once or twice a week and doesn't take it as seriously as me. I'd like to go hiking/biking and travel to different places to do those things, but if I ask anyone to go for a walk they look at me like I grew a second head. I also suck at making new friends due to my social awkwardness.
My confession: I am scared to date or even try to approach someone I find attractive because I assume their reaction will be "ewwww". And I also feel that I am not attractive or good enough to even deserve to have someone love me. It makes me sad that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.
I don't have any tips to try to help you change this thinking, but all I can tell you is that is not at ALL how I perceive you just from your posts here! You seem very confident and like a lot of fun. I hope you can change that mindset because you DO deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are.
I was actually on my way back to delete this because I felt like I was throwing myself a pity party.
As for seeming confident here, that's the power of anonymity I have zero self confidence around the opposite sex. I don't know why, I've never been rejected with an "ewww, gross" so I suppose it's just because that's how I can view myself so I think others do too.
And the not deserving part, I was in a relationship last year and this guy was (seemed) amazing. He was so good to me and made me feel really good about myself (no small feat). I found myself thinking "what makes me so special that I would deserve something this good?". And then when he broke up with me it just kind of cemented the thinking that I don't deserve it (even though he had a totally bogus reason for dumping me).
Well that sucks. I know it doesn't seem like it, but you dodged a bullet there! Good thing you didn't waste too much time on him since he obviously turned out to be wrong for you. Do you think he told you the truth as to why he broke up with you or was he trying to cover up or hide something? Totally nosy on my part. I understand if you don't want to disclose any more info. Either way, use this as a learning experience and move on.0 -
tincanonastring wrote: »Heartisalonelyhunter wrote: »I am 3.5 months pregnant. It's been years since I had my last child, and I had conveniently forgotten that being pregnant is not fun. Throwing up, sore boobs, constipation, random steel-wire chin hairs that appear like radio antennae every single night....I just 'popped' and look like I'm 6 months gone (leading to my MIL asking if I had my dates wrong). Oh, and I really, really want a big plate of sushi and several ice cold beers. I dream about it (especially the beer!) Only 6 months to go..
Congratulations! That's so awesome! Not the sore boobs & constipation, but you know!
Thank you! With any luck in a few months the chin hairs will be so bad I will have a splendid beard to rival yours!0 -
I have a new confession. There are some people (a couple of men I can think of) on this MFP Community that are complete asssssholes and I wish diarrhea on them every time I read one of their stupid comments trying to ridicule other posters.
That's awesome.
Whenever someone incites my rage, I use all my mental energy to wish their drink falls into their lap. I have a whole little mental scenario dreamed up. ..
"That's right, jerk! You're just having a peaceful dinner and you randomly knock your beverage into your lap. F you! I wished that on you! Lol"
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I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession0
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... double post, MFP blip...
My confession: I am scared to date or even try to approach someone I find attractive because I assume their reaction will be "ewwww". And I also feel that I am not attractive or good enough to even deserve to have someone love me. It makes me sad that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.
This was me. After my divorce, I was single through a large portion of my 20's and early 30's because I was afraid of rejection, felt so bad about myself that I couldn't imagine getting naked in front of someone, and just generally sucked at life. If I hadn't reconnected with someone I had dated years ago, I'd still be single.
For what it's worth, I think you're gorgeous and intelligent, and anyone would be damn lucky if you chose them to date. I know it doesn't make it better or easier, but it is true.
(Hugs)0 -
marissafit06 wrote: »My other confession is that I'm worried my brother is developing a drinking problem. He used to have a couple drinks on the weekend, and then there were a couple here & there throughout the week and now it seems like he's having multiple drinks almost every night. He goes to work, comes home then plays video games or watches TV for 5 or 6 hours (We are roommates so I see him every day).
I don't know how to approach him on it because he gets defensive really easily (about anything remotely serious you try to discuss) and will just walk away. I don't want to make him feel judged because then I'm worried he'll start drinking in secret, which is much worse.
My husband started to drink too much and I felt comfortable talking to him about it but wouldn't be sure how to broach the issue with my brother. Is there someone who he confides in who might be a better person to discuss it with him, or a third roommate? Is there a deeper reason for the drinking like depression or a breakup?
I think it has to do with being unhappy at work and in his current relationship. He's 28, they've been together over 10 years. They don't even act like a couple, I think they're just both so comfortable neither wants to do anything about it.
I don't think his girlfriend will say anything because I don't think she cares. He doesn't have a lot of friends either, and it would be worse if my parents broached the subject.
Sounds like he's in a rut. I went through a brief period a few years ago when I would make a couple drinks (or 3) every evening when I got home due to sheer boredom. It made things seem not a boring, temporarily, but I knew it was dangerous so I put a stop to that.
Anyway, since you said he comes home every night to video games and TV it sounds like he could use some hobbies and activities that get him out and active. Anything you could suggest for him?0 -
courtenaymichele wrote: »courtenaymichele wrote: »My coworker and I were just talking smack about our boss because we thought we were the only ones in the office. Nope, he's here and heard it all...
Oooh, ouch! Sorry about that. What has happened since? Awkward silence? Hope you don't have negative repercussions.
Such an awkward silence... He hasn't said anything to me at all today! I mean, we weren't saying anything too bad. Just that we thought no one was there so we should be watching the tv and leaving early. And I did say how he never comes in on Fridays, and when he does he leaves early....
Bet he won't today!
Ha! You are so right. I guess my punishment is I'm stuck here too!
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10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.0 -
10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it.
I like you! 0 -
plutonianfrog wrote: »After/before work its fine to get started exercising but if I don't get a chance I won't do anything at home. I keep trying exercise videos and I keep failing to do them.
Also doesn't help I have 0 willpower when I get home, I see some remotely bad4u thing and I can't eat just one I have to wipeout that mess. I've even had to ban white rice at home because I'll binge on it.
I've been fat and my weight (220) since at least 3rd/4th grade so it's a huge change even thinking about losing the weight. I also have a bunch of issues seeing weight loss as a change of identity, something I may or may not deserve etc.
I was always the biggest in my class, both weight and height, until finally in high school when some of the boys finally had growth spurts, then I was only biggest by weight. I grew up eating crap food at home (and if anyone wants to argue the whole no such thing as crap food - no, you cannot justify a child eating fast food or pizza for literally every dinner year round, so stop trying).
I was nearly 30 before I managed to successfully lose weight. Prior to that I'd lost up to 80 lbs at a time, but it never stayed off, and, of course, always came back with extra. I had a lot of bad binge habits to fix, as well as a lot of mental readjusting to do. You can make the process a lot easier if you get help. Some people are way to quick to dismiss it as a "willpower" issue and you just need to practice it. What you actually need to do is deprogram your entire lifetime of how you think about food and yourself. There are therapists who specialize in that. Having the tools to reteach yourself how you view food and your perception of yourself can take out a lot of the "hard work" some people think they need to do as penance for being fat.0 -
I just ate sushi like it was my last meal! I ate my roll, 3 pieces of free sample rolls, miso soup, and 1/3 of the roll my friend got, but didn't finish.0
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berlynnwall wrote: »10ecmuscle wrote: »I think of sex 99.9999% of the day. My confession
This is pretty normal for men, I do to, and it's not so normal for a woman.
I actually have a theory that it is normal for women to think about sex a lot, but we are not "supposed to", so we all just keep quiet about it. I like you!
I do too - and yes, I think it's a lot more normal for women than we are led to believe!0 -
This thread is turning into a mini PostSecret (http://postsecret.com/)
It's wonderful!0 -
I have a healthier understanding of money then I do calories. For this reason I see each calorie as some type of monetary value that can be used to "purchase" food items through out the day. In order to get the most "bang" out of my buck I check my foods to see if I am getting enough nutrition for the cost of the item just like I would if I was buying a new computer or something. Sometimes when I want to buy something frivolous (cookies!) I grab a side job of exercise to keep me from going into debt. It's become such a weird habit that I have taken to telling my husband "I don't have enough money for that" when he asks if I want to eat something.
Yes!! Exactly! I am not a nut case. Or at least I am not the only nutcase who thinks "that costs too much" meaning the calories are too high. At least I think my sisters know what I mean now when I say something like that.
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My confession: Monday was a bad day, I went to a funeral for my best friends little brother (22year old kid died from brain cancer). It was so devestating to see my girl so broken that on the hour and a half drive back I broke down too. First I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and asked for a Boston creme donut. They only had vanilla frosting and jelly left so I got the vanilla but it was not what I wanted so I stopped at the next DD as well and luckily they had a Boston Creme. Next I had to get gas and got a twix ice cream bar from the quick mart. Next I pulled over again and got a bag of hot fries.... the big bag but I only ate half.... ok ok 3/4ths. Bad bad bad day. So on Tuesday I baked a Hummingbird cake....0
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I was always the biggest in my class, both weight and height, until finally in high school when some of the boys finally had growth spurts, then I was only biggest by weight. I grew up eating crap food at home (and if anyone wants to argue the whole no such thing as crap food - no, you cannot justify a child eating fast food or pizza for literally every dinner year round, so stop trying).
I was nearly 30 before I managed to successfully lose weight. Prior to that I'd lost up to 80 lbs at a time, but it never stayed off, and, of course, always came back with extra. I had a lot of bad binge habits to fix, as well as a lot of mental readjusting to do. You can make the process a lot easier if you get help. Some people are way to quick to dismiss it as a "willpower" issue and you just need to practice it. What you actually need to do is deprogram your entire lifetime of how you think about food and yourself. There are therapists who specialize in that. Having the tools to reteach yourself how you view food and your perception of yourself can take out a lot of the "hard work" some people think they need to do as penance for being fat.
Yes seeing a therapist but it's a slow road, lots of scruples for me around being fat. Another huge issue is cooking, mom's cooking style was insanely unhealthy (protip: fry everything then fry it again) so it's so weird to try and taste things that are prepared with health in mind.0 -
... double post, MFP blip...
Phew. It's not just me, lol.My confession: I live vicariously through the people in this forum, because I have no physical friends. It's like watching the group of cool kids in the playground back when I was at school.
I don't really have friends either. There's another mom I get along pretty well with but we only see each other on the rare days she picks up her kids... but I've been so disappointed by friendships in the past, I don't actually care. Well, except when people talk about going out with their friends and post all the pictures and it makes me feel very lonely. But I haven't had a close friend since my first marriage 15 years ago.
I have two close friends, but I only see them every few months because they are always so busy.
I don't have any friends or people in my life with similar interests. My gym partner will workout with me, but only once or twice a week and doesn't take it as seriously as me. I'd like to go hiking/biking and travel to different places to do those things, but if I ask anyone to go for a walk they look at me like I grew a second head. I also suck at making new friends due to my social awkwardness.
My confession: I am scared to date or even try to approach someone I find attractive because I assume their reaction will be "ewwww". And I also feel that I am not attractive or good enough to even deserve to have someone love me. It makes me sad that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it.
I don't have any tips to try to help you change this thinking, but all I can tell you is that is not at ALL how I perceive you just from your posts here! You seem very confident and like a lot of fun. I hope you can change that mindset because you DO deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are.
I was actually on my way back to delete this because I felt like I was throwing myself a pity party.
As for seeming confident here, that's the power of anonymity I have zero self confidence around the opposite sex. I don't know why, I've never been rejected with an "ewww, gross" so I suppose it's just because that's how I can view myself so I think others do too.
And the not deserving part, I was in a relationship last year and this guy was (seemed) amazing. He was so good to me and made me feel really good about myself (no small feat). I found myself thinking "what makes me so special that I would deserve something this good?". And then when he broke up with me it just kind of cemented the thinking that I don't deserve it (even though he had a totally bogus reason for dumping me).
I think this is how I feel a lot of times. Then you get dumped out of no where and you're just kind of like "well..I knew that was going to happen. That's why I don't do this. I guess I deserve it."
(I know this isn't true, but that's the line of thinking at the time)0
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