What nobody tells you about losing weight
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sapphiremoon23 wrote: »re: childhood obesity that was mentioned by several
My teenage daughter is headed that way. And I'm on a tightrope. I want to talk with her about it and help her decide she needs to lose weight now. But there's the whole fat-shaming thing to not run into and my daughter has RAD and is 15. You may not know RAD. It's Reactive Attachment Disorder. My daughter also has PTSD and depression. So she won't take anything I say well. And she certainly won't take my example of losing 32 pounds and keeping most of them (around 30) off. Basically, she doesn't want me to be right about anything!
So us parents aren't always in a position to help our obese children not be obese. I think my daughter is just overweight now but I haven't calculated it. She's 5'1" and last I heard was 170 lbs.
what about just making healthy foods available all the time, instead of foods that could make her gain more weight. Maybe she can help you to prepare or cook healthy meals. there does not have to be a pep talk about it. and if you're going to go out for a walk ask her if she wants to join you. Baby steps.
and my apologies if I sound like I'm giving unsolicited suggestions or ideas.
That RAD thing. We just got cussed out and some physical aggressive issues for about 20 minutes last night because she didn't want the dinner we were fixing. I had to lock the refrigerator and record it. You should have heard her fat-shame my husband. Yeah, I would love for them to even just watch their portion size! When I tried to buy her only healthy snacks, she gets mouthy. But either way, my daughter gets junk food from her friends at school. She has no self-control when it comes to food. She still didn't eat our dinner, but a lot of rice with soy sauce and tomatoes I think. If I try to force serving size, I'm in for a full-on diatribe. Reactive Attachment Disorder is incredibly difficult to deal with. These kids don't love their parents. They victimize them. They don't have fully-developed consciences, don't learn from consequences. My children called me a control-freak, when all their outbursts are attempts to control us. My son was so violent he's been removed from our home. Our daughter is not quite that bad, but we have had to call the cops on her once before when she was physically aggressive. And when she's in it, no consequences matter. No threat will stop her.
Besides, I don't think we have to ONLY eat healthy food. I like a cookie and dessert now and then. Moderation is the thing. I bring my snacks to work so she can't get them though. Dad likes lots of fruit so there's always fruit for her. She has granola and yogurt, potato chips. The problem is more that she eats too much of whatever at once.
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Just an FYI for those having trouble with beds being too hard on their bones after weight loss. I bought a memory foam mattress topper. Works great. I have got a 3" and a 4" thick with 4 lb density. Both work great on my old bones. 2" thick is not enough. Will not work as well if your mattress has dips and needs replaced.
I have one of those toppers on my Sleep Number (my number is 25!)! 3 inches of memory foam. It's luxurious! But I do sleep with a pillow between my knees if I'm on my side. Knees up over a pillow if on my back. But my bed is lovely squishy!3 -
I have a closet full of clothes... there is barely room for them all and this is after cleaning it out 3x this year lol. For the longest time nothing fit and I was only wearing the same couple of outfits. Now that I have lost half of the weight I am fitting into mostly all of my clothes again! Instead of going out and buying new clothes like I thought I would have to (I didn't think I could actually lose weight in the beginning), I am wearing different outfits everyday... and am comfortable in them!
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thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »
Raise your hand if you've bought a seperate laudry basket only for gym gear?
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rldeclercq4 wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »
Raise your hand if you've bought a seperate laudry basket only for gym gear?
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Good idea!
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rldeclercq4 wrote: »thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »
Raise your hand if you've bought a seperate laudry basket only for gym gear?
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Oh! I'm so doing that now. Thank you!2 -
Reactive Attachment Disorder is incredibly difficult to deal with.
just wanted to drop you a quick shout about this. no solutions but i knew a few parents whose kids had similar issues and it's a nightmare.Raise your hand if you've bought a seperate laudry basket only for gym gear?
no, but i actually do a warm/cool wash now just for those clothes. lycra that quits on you isn't nice
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ashleywright_0 wrote: »I have a closet full of clothes... there is barely room for them all and this is after cleaning it out 3x this year lol. For the longest time nothing fit and I was only wearing the same couple of outfits. Now that I have lost half of the weight I am fitting into mostly all of my clothes again! Instead of going out and buying new clothes like I thought I would have to (I didn't think I could actually lose weight in the beginning), I am wearing different outfits everyday... and am comfortable in them!
Yes I'm in agreement. When I started gaining weight a few years ago all the clothes that did not fit I would just wash them fold them up and keep them in boxes until I could fit into them again. Not only did I lose weight and fit into all of them but I lost more weight. I had to give away a lot of those clothes and buy some in smaller sizes. Awesome!15 -
My running pants and/or my underwear are too loose. I run hiking them up every 5 steps.14
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You get so much more creative. Small life change happens, You have to figure out how to work this and that in and stick to your diet. Huge life change and within a few days you can fully uproot everything and re figure it out and carry on your way.
Had to do this a few times but especially when i just got a new VERY active job with long hours so i didnt have the time to be eating how/the amounbts i had been at home....Id of curled up and cried eating a pizza or something before from stress 10 -
that you would have the confidence to try new active things. that you can be super confident and rock an outfit one day and another day look in tje mirror and think I can't wear this out!! the mind is a funny thing!20
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That you could always feel like you are in training for something, when you aren't!! Lol! My fitness schedule, in the opinions of many around me, is pretty intense...I don't necessarily think so since my progress was gradual and I rarely feel truly exhausted....( well not too exhausted to hit it all over again the next day)....And besides that, it's all relative. While I may work out more than 95% of the people that I know, put me in a group with my fitness peers (based on the posts) and I may be at the middle of the pack. :-)10
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That you could feel like you're done losing even when you have 30-40 left to lose. I have lost 65 lbs so far and feel so good and get such good reactions that my loss has slowed a lot. I'm just above 200 and 5'9 So I've still got a ways to go, but some days I feel done and some days I feel like I haven't made much progress. Just mental stuff throwing me off I guess!24
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For me: trusting my body, honoring and loving it in the moment.
I always thought I was supposed to be some other way than I was. In fact, I often catch myself thinking something like that. If you read enough about weight loss, it seems like it's supposed to go like a predictable, guaranteed formula: eat 1200 calories and lose 2 lbs a week. First X, then Y. Well, it doesn't go like that. For me, that was, at first, frustrating and depressing, especially when I so HATED how I was when I started.
Now, I realize my body changes in ways I can see and in ways I can't see (at first). It has its own way of doing things, and that's OK. I trust it to all work out ...
That I am OK with that is huge for me. It's a perspective that not only helps with weight loss, but also other areas of life. I'm good; everything, in this moment, is all good.
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sapphiremoon23 wrote: »I don't know if anyone mentioned this. It's probably TMI... but anyway... dealing with loose bras. I'm not buying any new ones yet til I lose more weight & the ones i now own are very loose on me.
Well, now that I have lost enough weight, my bras are loose around the back. It's tricky using the 3rd row of eyes to hook them (instead of the 1st row) while reaching behind me, i can't close the darn thing. now I have to close it in front then rotate it around to the back & then slide my arms into the straps. Annoying, & yet cool.
I am hoping my boobs don't shrink because I bought all new bras this last summer.3 -
mine did I had just bought new bras then they shrunk.....what do I need to buy to make my stomach shrink34
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Aside from catching your reflection and appreciating what you see your shadow can cause the same reaction. 13
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That you'll suddenly realize you're able to do things you weren't able to do before. For example yesterday my Uber cancelled and I had to go to FedEx so I walked to 2 miles there and 2 miles back in pretty decent time and realized I can save money on Uber's now.50
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ChrisNels1 wrote: »Aside from catching your reflection and appreciating what you see your shadow can cause the same reaction.
I catch myself staring at my shadow while I wait for my dogs to finish outside. It looks so small... and has a shape!20 -
That before weight loss I was afraid my favorite t shirt was too small now it is looking to big15
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For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
This! I feel like this often! I know the pain and wish I could spare them.21 -
mumblemagic wrote: »For some reason now whenever I see a very overweight young woman I just want to burst into tears. Because I know how she feels inside. I want to help her but I can't. The truth is its a cruel world and for some reason it's still fair game to abuse fat people. It hurts like hell.
Whenever I see an overweight person doing exercise (and often struggling, sadly) I want to go up to them and say "Good for you! Well done! You're doing great!" and other encouragement.
I don't though, because I don't want to sound patronising.....
I do this. If I see someone working hard at the gym and I can tell they're probably trying to lose weight, I always tell them how hard I see them working and that it's noticeable. Mostly because no one did that for me and I was upset so I make a point of it. And they're always extremly happy when I do! It makes us bith feel good.33 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »That the closer to your goal weight you get the hungrier you feel ;D
This! Why? I have noticed that the past couple of weeks. I have lost 76 since March and I am 8.5 pounds from the original goal I set but thinking of losing as much as 18.5 more. I have been much hungrier lately.11 -
That good, supportive sports bras for big chested women do not exist! Well, not in store anyway... I've lost 69lbs and I'm still a DDD cup, can't find a good sports bra anywhere! Hate to order off line because I like to try stuff on b4 I spend $60 + on something!! It's so annoying!5
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crystalmorrison378 wrote: »That good, supportive sports bras for big chested women do not exist! Well, not in store anyway... I've lost 69lbs and I'm still a DDD cup, can't find a good sports bra anywhere! Hate to order off line because I like to try stuff on b4 I spend $60 + on something!! It's so annoying!
I bought a shock absorber sports bra and I was a g I think whatever letter is after ddd. it was expensive but worked. I had to go to a specialty bra store to get it. I wore two bras one sport from Walmart that sucked and a regular bra and a size med tank top (I wear a xl) to a class last week for jumpy Jacks I could barely breathe....need to go back to bra store lol4 -
+ That it can be an emotional roller-coaster. Some days you are happy with yourself and other days you get upset because you ate too much or you don't look right or you haven't lost any weight this week, etc. Learn to ride the roller-coaster and don't get off.
+ That it won't magically fix all your problems. In fact, some of my "problems" have come more in focus because of the time and energy I have spent on myself and not "others."
true story2 -
I havnt lost much "weight" (I was never fat to begin with really, just not in optimal shape). I spend a lot of time training. It's not unusual to train 3 hours a day (usually in two sessions). I want to compete in bjj and boxing in 2017, then branch into mma the following year. I've learned to share these goals with few people, as reactions are not always positive. People will tell you you "work out too much" or "you're obsessed" or "you look too skinny". It used to bother me but now I just smile and nod and let it roll off my back.11
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JoyMaillet wrote: »I havnt lost much "weight" (I was never fat to begin with really, just not in optimal shape). I spend a lot of time training. It's not unusual to train 3 hours a day (usually in two sessions). I want to compete in bjj and boxing in 2017, then branch into mma the following year. I've learned to share these goals with few people, as reactions are not always positive. People will tell you you "work out too much" or "you're obsessed" or "you look too skinny". It used to bother me but now I just smile and nod and let it roll off my back.
Unless you are a professional athlete, 3 hours of exercise a day is a lot.6 -
trigden1991 wrote: »JoyMaillet wrote: »I havnt lost much "weight" (I was never fat to begin with really, just not in optimal shape). I spend a lot of time training. It's not unusual to train 3 hours a day (usually in two sessions). I want to compete in bjj and boxing in 2017, then branch into mma the following year. I've learned to share these goals with few people, as reactions are not always positive. People will tell you you "work out too much" or "you're obsessed" or "you look too skinny". It used to bother me but now I just smile and nod and let it roll off my back.
Unless you are a professional athlete, 3 hours of exercise a day is a lot.
I want to be a competitive athlete , so I train like one. Most athletes train 6 days a week, twice a day. At least in fighting sports. I can't expect to compete and win by being a "three times a week" exerciser. If my goal was just to lose weight and be healthy then yeah, 3 hours or more a day is not necessary. Those are not my goals at this time. I was already staying fit and not overweight. My goals are performance related.14 -
crystalmorrison378 wrote: »That good, supportive sports bras for big chested women do not exist! Well, not in store anyway... I've lost 69lbs and I'm still a DDD cup, can't find a good sports bra anywhere! Hate to order off line because I like to try stuff on b4 I spend $60 + on something!! It's so annoying!
Look for a specialty bra store that offers fittings. You'll get excellent service and they'll have an amazing amount of styles you can try on (I'm a 38G). Their prices are usually not much, if any, higher than online retailers.2
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