What nobody tells you about losing weight
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Nobody told me that my slimmer body would get more critique than my bigger body.
People saying that cup A-E are "no real boobs" and that slimmer women aren't "real women". Lifting is for lesbians and muscles on a woman is manly.
I used to get more confident as I was losing more weight. Now I am getting insecure.
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I love these! I haven't lost yet, but I'm looking forward to these!4
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@Idle_Moon, haters gonna hate. I think women, like men, come in all shapes and sizes. I think anyone would agree that a strong, confident woman is beautiful, no matter what shape or size.
Weight loss is a very personal journey. Only you will know what makes you feel good about you. Please don't let stupid people and their insensitive comments make you insecure. Hold your head high and keep doing what you're doing!14 -
Yes - I had never met her before yesterday. She is from a different country but has lived in the US for many years. I know that fat discrimination has happened for a long time but to have someone say it directly to me is just hurting me on so many levels. I'm not sure I will ever forget this, and maybe I shouldn't.
It's appalling.
You should write to her. Or anonymously use the whistleblowing policy.4 -
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This is such a great thread! I just started this journey and reading these comments is motivating me like crazy! 100 lbs to go!16
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Nobody told me that my slimmer body would get more critique than my bigger body.
People saying that cup A-E are "no real boobs" and that slimmer women aren't "real women". Lifting is for lesbians and muscles on a woman is manly.
I used to get more confident as I was losing more weight. Now I am getting insecure.
@Idle_Moon seriously don't let it get you down. Lifting has done wonders for my body as I'm sure it has yours too. I've got curvier curves now from lifting than I could ever get with endless hours of cardio and my husband loves it ;-)
If these are people that you love and respect then maybe you could tell them how those comments hurt you. If not just let it go! Mean spirited comments like that are not worth holding on to.
Sending you hugs xxx
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@kimv1188
Their comments really hurts. I can't change my body shape, I can only try to get healthy, fit and strong.
I truly think that part of it is that you are not used to your new body. Some how in your mind and maybe theirs it just is not the same. It took me a while to be comfortable with my body.7 -
^^ This.
In 98% of cases when people criticize someone for losing weight it's because they're jealous. Either they want to look like you or they wish they had your resolve to get there. In the other 2% of cases they realize you've got an eating disorder and are trying to tell you something is wrong. (Are you missing your period? Are you fainting from low blood pressure? Are you subsisting on laxatives? If yes then they may be right.)
When I'm feeling generous then I recognize a third category which are people who just can't adapt well to change. They got used to you at one size and just can't conceive of you changing. (This is only legit when it comes from grandmothers.)
It's also helpful to realize that all of this is relative. Some people will think a 5'4" woman who weighs 150 lbs is tiny and others will think she's huge. Perception is a funny thing. I would just go off of where you feel comfortable and as long as it falls into your doctor's recommended range you'll be fine.12 -
Thank you all very much!
They don't say it in my face, reffering to me personally. But they are saying these things about women, without realising that I am one of the women they are talking about! When I tell them that it's offensive, they try to sugarcoat it.
One of them even said "If your goal is to lift your own weight, then your boyfriend is going to run away from you!" Very rude to imply that our relationship is so unstable that he'll end it because of something stupid like that.
You guys are right. People who make these comments don't matter.17 -
... and that slimmer women aren't "real women". Lifting is for lesbians and muscles on a woman is manly.
aaarrrggghhhhhh. I am not a self-motivator, so I do tons of group fitness classes. I get to 4 bodypump classes a week, and they are mostly filled with women, many of whom lift more (and with better form!!) than the men in class. I am so proud of my body and what I'm learning it can do, now that I'm challenging it in a new way - don't let jerks get to you. Whoever says things like this is so grossly biased, it's offensive.
In terms of "what no one warned me about..." it's how often I'd get sick! The only thing that's changed in my life is my regular gym attendance - still eating the same, still taking vitamins, still going for long walks when the weather allows it. But ever since I started hitting the gym 5x/week in September, I have been sick 5 times. I used to get one cold once a year. My friends with young kids tell me that this is what being a parent of a young kid is like - constantly sick from all the new germs they pick up, and since so many of my fellow gym-goers are parents of young kids themselves, I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised.
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@kimv1188
Their comments really hurts. I can't change my body shape, I can only try to get healthy, fit and strong.
I truly think that part of it is that you are not used to your new body. Some how in your mind and maybe theirs it just is not the same. It took me a while to be comfortable with my body.
My current profile pic is me at 160; I'm nearly down to my goal of 155. On the other hand, when I look in the mirror I still perceive myself at 170 or even 180 (those pics are on my profile). On the gripping hand, if I can take a moment to step back and objectively look at myself I realize I'm doing great and looking much better.
As for the 'skinny women aren't real women' thing: anytime you hear someone say that just respond with "I don't understand what you mean by that; could you explain it please?" Watch them get flustered trying to explain that they weren't talking about you specifically.
"Lifting is for lesbians and muscles on a woman is manly." That, IMO, is excrement.14 -
I cant remember the last time my body felt "not sore".
Waking up at 5am blows.
Being healthy is hardwork.
Limiting alcohol to weekends in a College town is difficult.
I'm healthier looking than 80% of the people around me (mostly who don't exercise) is 100% worth it.29 -
GaleHawkins wrote: »Intentional_Me wrote: »That sometimes compliments feel awkward because you aren't sure how to to respond, especially when they are passive aggressive
That people will ask for help on how to lose weight but aren't willing to track calories, consider using a food scale and avoid restriction of entire food groups. I mean, how do you expect me to help you? I can't eat at a deficit for the both of us....
You know how people say you seem to get hungrier the smaller you get? I swear it's true. I've been in maintenance for nearly a month because I keep going over my goal. I'm okay with this. Not gaining means I've still REALLY changed my eating habits. And I can feel that I'm starting to refocus.
Down 95 pounds
Their questions can be hard to answer.
I just tell them I decided to stop trying to lose weight and just stopped eating foods that contains no added sweeteners and/or any form of grains.
if you aren't celiac eating grains has no effect other then the calories.10 -
ajhaupt302 wrote: »-I get yelled at almost everyday by fitness pal for not eating enough. I have never in my life been told that. I'm just full.
-Craving ice cream sucks.
- I feel so much healthier
- My husband is so proud of me
- Fast food disgusts me
- My kids like eating healthier with me
- Eating healthier is so expensive
- I spend a lot of time cutting up fruits and veggies
- Social gathering are tricky
- I never want to stop trying
about being expensive:
it gets more expensive when we get older and have cultivated bad food habits all entire life
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I'm finding eating healthier is cheaper. But that's because my unhealthy eating meant going out for lunch every day instead of bringing something from home.
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Tacklewasher wrote: »I'm finding eating healthier is cheaper. But that's because my unhealthy eating meant going out for lunch every day instead of bringing something from home.
Agreed! I have saved literally thousands of dollars over the past couple of years, just on lunch alone. The lunch I bring from home is easily 1/3 the cost of buying food at a restaurant or food truck.21 -
That you might have something like survivor's guilt and that you might feel bad for all the people you love who think they are powerless to improve their health through diet and exercise.34
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LOVING THIS THREAD!!!2
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I've seen quite a few posts here claiming that "eating healthier is more expensive"
I honestly don't see how that is possible, if you show any concern about prices when shopping
- no fast food saves big $
- I'm eating half the food before I was dieting
- Many healthy foods can be bought in bulk
Can anyone explain why healthy eating is deemed much more expensive? I would agree it takes more planning and prep, but not more money. I would need to buy everything single servings at Whole Foods, to spend more money.15 -
@Theo, not speaking for everyone but just my situation. We have $50 budgeted for dining out a month. So in some cases, money dining out is not different from the norm. Awesome for those who save $ in that way though! I have my Hubble and 3 kids. When I am eating healthy, I bring the family along for the ride. Think of all those healthy meals x5... Thankfully my Hubble is on board and we have raised our food monthly budget.8
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Tacklewasher wrote: »I'm finding eating healthier is cheaper. But that's because my unhealthy eating meant going out for lunch every day instead of bringing something from home.
Agreed! I have saved literally thousands of dollars over the past couple of years, just on lunch alone. The lunch I bring from home is easily 1/3 the cost of buying food at a restaurant or food truck.
same here!5 -
No one told me:
1) that losing weight would result in losing some friends...people I thought would support & share in my success instead have been snarky & stand-offish, insisting that what I say I am doing cannot be it.
2) that I would rediscover how incredibly confident & capable I am in so many other areas in my life.
3) that I would LOVE going to the gym & overcome my fear of the dreaded free weight section, lol.
4) that I would become a horndog all the time!
5) that I can pretty much do anything I set my mind to do----BAM!34 -
@dawnz75, I believe you, but still don't understand why. Can you give some detail, what food groups were cheaper to buy when not eating healthy?
From my experience, I've cut mostly processed or packaged food, which have many affordable alternatives. In the past, I have wasted money on buying fresh veggies that ended up going bad in the crisper tray. I solved this by buying good quality frozen veggies, so now none are wasted and I always have some available.
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@theo166 I agree that eating healthier shouldn't be more expensive but I think when people change their lifestyle they start seeing recipes for organic kale with fresh hand-harvested blueberries and they think they have to jaunt off to the farmer's market and spend $30 to make a salad. When you make a lifestyle change you're confronted with a lot of information and it's easy to think that everything is prescriptive and must be followed to the letter to get it right.16
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@dawnz75, I believe you, but still don't understand why. Can you give some detail, what food groups were cheaper to buy when not eating healthy?
@Theo166 I have saved a great deal by eating at home but sometimes I see some price pain. I cannot answer for everyone but I can tell you two things that popped in my head immediately.
I was asked to bring a bag of chips to a mixer at work. I picked up a bag for $2.50 that claimed to contain 12 servings. I also picked up a bag of tangerines - 14 in the bag and it was $5. Twice the price for approximately equal snackage.
Lasagna. Premade frozen I used to buy for the family is $8. Buying leaner meats and separate ingrdients for a healthier alternative I make myself was $14.
Worth it, but there is some disparity at times.
On the other end, the banana and granola bar I eat for breakfast are cheaper than the Hardees biscuits!
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Here, a 2kg bag of frozen fries are cheaper than a 2kg bag of plain potatos.
Garlic-butter bread is cheaper than bread without the garlic-butter.
Especially fresh fruits and veggies are expensive. If you want to buy them frozen, they have sugar, sauces and other stuff added.
Some people are talking about "junk-taxing". Why can't we just do "healthy-discounts" instead? People should be able to afford healthy food.15 -
This isn't so much a "healthy food is more expensive", but rather, now that I'm at maintenance and even a very light bulk, it takes a good deal more calories to get there vs pre diet, when I didn't exercise nearly as much. So in that respect, my food bills are going up.7
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