Cussing at/to Children

wineplease

I read an article that suggest cussing at your child is a form of verbal abuse. I also work at a school that does not tolerate teachers and coaches who cuss in the classroom, on the playing fields or courts, or to our students.

What are your thoughts? Is it a form of verbal abuse? Is it ever okay? Are coaches okay to do this, but not teachers?

contingencyplan

The best teacher I ever had, the one who was the greatest positive influence on me, was a high school history teacher who swore like a sailor. Well, because he was one. He was an old Navy vet. Abuse? **** no.

LuckyLeprechaun

As a teacher, I am NOT allowed to speak like that to my students. It's off-limits for a reason. Speaking like that to a child is not okay.

I question anyone who would defend that behavior.

Ocarina

I think its silly the words are taboo and I use them when needed but with children I think its inappropriate. Mainly because the words are usually expressing anger in an extreme way and I think its not a good idea to do that in front of kids. They should learn the high road and how to deal with a stressful situation without cussing. I also think the words are used to insult others, talk down about something/someone and are just generally reducing the quality of speech. So as setting an example I think they are better off without them but will eventually find out sooner or later. Then maybe they'll be better able to handle how to use them?

I think its more trashy for any professional to be cussing in front of kids. Shows you have no manners, self control or respect for those around you.

Lisa1971

As a teacher, I a not allowed to speak likethat to my students. It's off-limits for a reason. Speaking like that to a child is not okay.

I question anyone who would defend that behavior.

Agreed!!!!!!!

traceytwink

Kids hear it everywhere it can't be avoided thus is life

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I mean, I cuss. I know, shocker. But, I don't cuss AT my children. I wouldn't consider it abuse, per say, but I wouldn't really appreciate if they were being cussed at, either.

elleryjones

Cursing in front of children I think is just low class. Cursing AT children is definitely verbal abuse.

Kids learn what we teach them.

I had a client once who was explaining to me, in all sincerity, that no matter how much he beat his son, he just couldn't seem to get the son to stop beating up his sister.

harleydall76

I would never speak to a child like that. I *have* slipped up in conversation around my little nephew and used a swear word. He's always quick to remind me it's a bad word. LOL

BoomstickChick

I think it's a load of crap it's verbal abuse. Are you kidding me? My husband and I swear like sailors in front of the kids, not so much AT them. I tell them to cut the crap/**** and stop being an *kitten*. The thing here, TEACH your kids what's right and appropriate for kids to say. They know the difference between anger and just talking.

People have issues when they're the ones doing the crappy parenting and not properly teaching their children right from wrong IMO.

Jxnsmma

My 3 year old said *kitten* the other day. I repremanded him and asked him where he got that word from and his reply:

YOU mommy!

#oopsies

AlsDonkBoxSquat

You get what you give, you treat children the way you want to be treated. If you swear at another person (regardless of age or category) then you better expect them to swear back at you.

SF2514

Totally depends. Most people, at least I'd hope I'm not alone, let something slip once or twice. I never curse at my daughter, but I've said a few words I'm glad she didn't pick up on lol. I'd be super pissed and have more than a few choice words if anyone said I was abusing her because of it.

lik_11

I was at the park over the weekend, and heard a mother telling her children what to do if a stranger grabbed them. (The children were walking in front of the Mom, and she was yelling at them to "instruct" them- it was impossible to not hear what she said.)

If someone were to grab them, the kids (3 children less than 10 years old) were told to yell out as loud as they could "Mother******- I don't know you!"

Although I laughed at the absurdity of it- I was taken back at the way the Mom spoke around the kids. In that case- no I don't think it's verbal abuse. But- I also do not believe that is a healthy way to talk to young children, either.

LuckyLeprechaun

I think there's a big difference between swearing when they can hear you and swearing AT them.

1: Accidentally letting my child overhear me, "Oh I had a really bad effing day"

2: My child accidentally, say, drops a cup. I respond to this, "Are you EFFING kidding me!?"

Situation 1 is not that big of a deal, imo. Situation 2 crosses the line.

Queen_JessieA

I think it is, personally. There are too many other words out there to use and no excuse to use foul language to a child. My kids have heard me say that I am pissed off about something on occasion but I would never use it towards them.

kennethmgreen

There is a difference between saying "Oh *kitten*!" in front of a child because you walked into a door frame and telling a child/student his work is "*kitten*" or he "doesn't know shi!t."

Not sure what your intentions were with the subject line, and if you were digging at that distinction or not. I would probably juxtapose the two ideas as cussing at/in front of children.

Verbal abuse is verbal abuse. Sometimes it involves cussing, sometimes it does not. Cussing does not necessarily mean verbal abuse.

Blacklance36

My mother always told me that people who cuss all the time have a limited vocabulary.

Cuss words are "power words" to children and once they hear them they want to use them all the time.

No, never cuss at children.

MizTerry

If the kids are in high school, that's one thing, but to see a parent curse at their child just infuriates me. Or to call them stupid or to tell their child to shut up. It makes me want to break their faces.

amyrcathey

I want to be a teacher one day and I would never cuss at/to my future students just like I wouldn't to my 9 nieces and nephews who are all under 6 years old. This is because I would want to KEEP my job and as for the nieces and nephews: my sisters wouldn't approve. However I don't plan on changing my cussing behavior in my own house when I have children. Why? Many reasons. I don't agree with the idea that it is verbal abuse - I have received verbal abuse and believe me, no "bad" words are required to get the job done. Words are words and their meaning is conveyed with the attitude of the speaker. I don't want my kids to grow up regarding certain words as immoral.

mylast5lbs

My teenage daughter no, don't have to. My teenage son, *kitten* yes.

Ashwee87

I don't think it is verbal abuse (to anyone) unless you are specifically cursing at the person/child.

Saying: "Well that is just *kitten*"
Compared to: "You ARE a piece of *kitten*"

There IS a BIG difference.

If a parent is screaming at a child calling them sh!it or any other derogatory terms, then yes, I believe 100% it is verbal abuse. But just cussing around a child, while I wouldn't do it around other people's children, I do it around mine. My cursing is usually an expression of anger or frustration. I don't do it nearly as often, but I am not going to make it such a taboo thing in my house that if someone says it they are banished. lol

jess7386

I wouldn't be so quick to throw the "abuse" word around.

Do I plan on swearing in front of my children? No. Will it happen? Almost definitely. Did my parents swear in front of me? Yes. Am I a well-adjusted, normal human being who knows my parents love me and didn't abuse me? Absolutely.

wineplease

Would you be okay with your child's teacher dropping f-boms in the classroom? With a coach calling them names to "motivate" them?

I do not tolerate that! My husband and I do not cuss at our children, so I don't expect any coach or teacher to do it, either. If you can't get children/teens to listen to you without cussing, YOU have a problem.

Julettashane

i was at the river in the mtns over the weekend and this kid was fixing to jump off what i thought was a very high rock and the mom was waiting below and called her kid a F***in P***y and told him to hurry up and jump.....i could only imagine the look on my face....oh and the kid was maybe 12

i think cussing at children is verbal abuse and near or around them is low class

wineplease

My teenage daughter no, don't have to. My teenage son, *kitten* yes.

Why? What's the difference?

Sherbog

It is abuse....no gray areas for me.

meeper123

I think it sounds stupid for anyone to curse too much. Calling people names is bad in general but calling a kid a name is twice as bad. Just be nice people, use some manners, and get some tolerance

loopylin32

swearing at kids isnt on... i dont know if its abusive , but its just not setting a good example, i think. you want them to speak politely so you have to. that said i once dropped a carton of milk in front of my nephew ( he was stood behind me , i almost tripped over him) and i said without thinking "b****cks!* cue kai, who was about 2 at the time n barely said a word shouting "b****cks?!" n im saying i mean oopsy, i dropped the milk... he wouldnt say oopsy but the b word stuck lol

PhearlessPhreaks

Swearing AT your child? Totally wrong. Using such language in that manner is hurtful and not constructive. Swearing in front of ones kids? Depends on how you feel about words. My brother and sister-in-law hate it, but my husband doesn't mind... (until our perfect, precious baby girl spits out the F-bomb, I'm guessing!)

ShellyBell999

Cussing at and cussing in front of are two different things.

Put downs and belittlement using any type of words or actions is never appropriate towards anyone and I would consider it to be abusive.