Cussing at/to Children

wineplease

There is a difference between saying "Oh *kitten*!" in front of a child because you walked into a door frame and telling a child/student his work is "*kitten*" or he "doesn't know shi!t."

Agreed

Not sure what your intentions were with the subject line, and if you were digging at that distinction or not. I would probably juxtapose the two ideas as cussing at/in front of children.

What I meant was the difference between, "Get your @ss in the car" and "You're being an @ss".

mylast5lbs

My teenage daughter no, don't have to. My teenage son, *kitten* yes.

Why? What's the difference?

I'm just having fun w/ the post. But, my daughter has not been brought home w/ the police knocking on my door at 3 am.

calibriintx

What age are you talking about? I don't see it as a big deal in highschool, but context really matters here. If a teacher, who never swears, starts cussing out a student, that's not cool. That's losing your patience and self control. Kids shouldn't feel like adults can't control their anger because it gives them an excuse to not control their own.

But I had a math teacher who was a total hippie. Long hair and his surf board and beach gear were always in class b/c he either went in the morning before school, or after, or both. He swore all the time. He was completely chill, laid back, and just in regular conversation he would would swear. "That wave was f***ing gnarly," "the line for pizza was 30 minutes! That's bulls***, man; I don't want pizza that bad."

So when his swearing was directed at us, it wasn't embarassing or in anger. It was in his same chill way. "Listen, Sheila (all girls were Sheila), you've got to pay attention or you're never gonna get this s***." He was one of the best teachers I ever had.

Same goes for coaches or anyone else. If it's part of their regular behavior, and not in anger, I don't see the issue. But I'm specifically talking about older kids, like highschool, not little's.

PlayerHatinDogooder

I understand the meaning of cussing AT a child what does it mean to cuss TO a child?

Or cuss TO anybody for that matter?

That being said I have been know to say the occasional $%^^£, *&%, and $%^&$%^ in front of children. I'm single, I cuss alot and sometimes it slips out. It might not be in good taste but I wouldn't consider it abuse

Ashwee87

My mother always told me that people who cuss all the time have a limited vocabulary.

My parents always said this too. Honestly, I think it is a load of *kitten*. I know PLENTY of people who have amazing vocabulary and still curse like saliors. My husband and his brother are two I can think of just off whim. But I know many more.

I can't say the same for myself though. I blame my Mississippi education for that though. lol

lripson28

I swear but would never around a child. I think those words are inappopriate to say in their presence. Now I understand that they are going to hear them anyway at some point but people should still censor themselves around children. When I was a teacher in a day care center we couldn't even say no to the kids, pretty sure we would have been fired on the spot if we said a cuss word. But I also don't view that as abuse either.

iAMsmiling

I bought a house on the 17th tee of a difficult golf course just so I wouldn't have to teach my kids to cuss.

They can step in to the back yard for a lesson on any nice golfing day.

DorisInTheDena

IMO, cussing at anyone isn't appropriate. Some people use foul language like they use the word "water". :huh:

MizTerry

All I have to say is this:


****
Piss
****
****
*kitten*
Mother****er
Tits

You're evil...LOL...I guess it's why weeeez friends.

wineplease

I understand the meaning of cussing AT a child what does it mean to cuss TO a child?Or cuss TO anybody for that matter?

Similar to throwing something AT someone or TO them.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

There are PLENTY of ways to be verbally abusive without cussing. If you are calling your child a f***ing moron, is the curse word really where the abuse is coming from? No.

I don't think using a curse word when addressing children is ALWAYS abuse. When I am at my limit of frustration, I have definitely said "Oh for f***'s sake Annie (my daughter), can you please give me a break and stop [insert annoying behavior here]". I am really not going to feel bad about that. Is that an ideal thing to say to a child? No. But is that abuse? No. I really think it does children good to know their parents are human and imperfect.

Anyway, long and short, context matters.

ldrosophila

If I carry this kid to term the BF is going to have to stop cussing. I dont care if he has to chew on soap, but he will stop. I'm tired of it. It's so low class.

tinak33

I think its silly the words are taboo and I use them when needed but with children I think its inappropriate. Mainly because the words are usually expressing anger in an extreme way and I think its not a good idea to do that in front of kids. They should learn the high road and how to deal with a stressful situation without cussing. I also think the words are used to insult others, talk down about something/someone and are just generally reducing the quality of speech. So as setting an example I think they are better off without them but will eventually find out sooner or later. Then maybe they'll be better able to handle how to use them?

I think its more trashy for any professional to be cussing in front of kids. Shows you have no manners, self control or respect for those around you.

^^^ This.

iAMsmiling

There are PLENTY of ways to be verbally abusive without cussing. If you are calling your child a f***ing moron, is the curse word really where the abuse is coming from? No.

I don't think using a curse word when addressing children is ALWAYS abuse. When I am at my limit of frustration, I have definitely said "Oh for f***'s sake Annie (my daughter), can you please give me a break and stop [insert annoying behavior here]". I am really not going to feel bad about that. Is that an ideal thing to say to a child? No. But is that abuse? No. I really think it does children good to know their parents are human and imperfect.

Anyway, long and short, context matters.

As my younger boy goes deeper in to his teen years, I find myself saying "FFS" quite frequently.

contingencyplan

http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1993-08-25/news/9308240307_1_lively-lessons-teacher-past-lessons

A newspaper article in the Sun Sentinel, the biggest newspaper in southeastern Florida, about the history teacher I referred to. Read it and about his impact on his students. I wouldn't change a thing about the way he taught us. Swear words and all. I notice you haven't addressed my points so far, either.

melindasuefritz

ye s its verbal a buse
no its never ok

kennethmgreen

Would you be okay with your child's teacher dropping f-boms in the classroom? With a coach calling them names to "motivate" them?

Probably not. But I didn't realize that was what this thread was about.

I do not tolerate that! My husband and I do not cuss at our children, so I don't expect any coach or teacher to do it, either.

Probably a reasonable expectation in a school setting. Also reasonable if you have asked adults that care for your kids outside of school.

But expecting all adults to never cuss around your kids at all simply because you don't tolerate it? That is moving toward unreasonable.

If you can't get children/teens to listen to you without cussing, YOU have a problem.

I agree. But the problem is that the kids aren't listening to you.

wineplease

What age are you talking about? I don't see it as a big deal in highschool, but context really matters here. If a teacher, who never swears, starts cussing out a student, that's not cool. That's losing your patience and self control. Kids shouldn't feel like adults can't control their anger because it gives them an excuse to not control their own.
But I had a math teacher who was a total hippie. Long hair and his surf board and beach gear were always in class b/c he either went in the morning before school, or after, or both. He swore all the time. He was completely chill, laid back, and just in regular conversation he would would swear. "That wave was f***ing gnarly," "the line for pizza was 30 minutes! That's bulls***, man; I don't want pizza that bad."
So when his swearing was directed at us, it wasn't embarassing or in anger. It was in his same chill way. "Listen, Sheila (all girls were Sheila), you've got to pay attention or you're never gonna get this s***." He was one of the best teachers I ever had.
Same goes for coaches or anyone else. If it's part of their regular behavior, and not in anger, I don't see the issue. But I'm specifically talking about older kids, like highschool, not little's.

I work at a high school. I think it's wrong for any teacher or coach to be cussing in the classroom! That's crazy to me. Teachers should be role models. If you can't teach the material effectively or get students' attention without cussing, you aren't an effective teacher. Period.

I wasn't referring to parents who cuss in front of their children. I'm talking about cussing while speaking to the child.

lesliev523

I think it's a load of crap it's verbal abuse. Are you kidding me? My husband and I swear like sailors in front of the kids, not so much AT them. I tell them to cut the crap/**** and stop being an *kitten*. The thing here, TEACH your kids what's right and appropriate for kids to say. They know the difference between anger and just talking.

People have issues when they're the ones doing the crappy parenting and not properly teaching their children right from wrong IMO.

Yep.... agreed. I am the same way.

I told my 13 year old son that he was being an *kitten* yesterday.... why? Because he was. Period. I also told him how I expected him to act and that he was cut off from all privileges until he acted appropriately.

Too many people coddle their kids now. I don't hide real life from my kids. And I can honestly say, my boys are EXTREMELY well adjusted. Now my friends, who always prided themselves on doing everything by the book, no spanking, trying to reason with their children.... etc, those seem to be the kids who get into trouble the worst. Knock on wood....

daffodilsoup

Cursing AT them would be an issue for me - there is clearly malice behind it and it is meant to be hurtful, but I'm not sure that it qualifies as abuse.

I don't find cursing around children to be that big of a deal. Curse words are just that - words - and by making them taboo like that, we give them power. Take away the "vulgarity" of a word, and it loses all effect.