My husband cheated on me...
Replies
-
melanietx504 wrote: »Am I too late to get on the "creepy" train?
Your fine, but you will have to leave your dog at the station.
0 -
Too personal for me...Not to be blunt (really...)
But why come to strangers in cyber space to spill your personal drama? Don't get it... must be my age
Then why, in the blue hell, did you click on the link that clearly stated what the thread was going to be about?
Oh, and why is OP flagged as spam?0 -
my dad did that to my mom too
0 -
-
Since a few people replied to my comment. I'll address them all here...
I am trying to be honest and sincere... so i guess in all honest i was kind of venting. But i do feel what i said is also partially true as well. Often times women get "confidence" and "domineering" confused. This is where a lot of issues arise i believe.
Talking to a friend of mine, i currently am studying biochemistry so i go to school, a late starter. The girls i have been after are a bit younger, in their early 20's. Never had any success. My friend who is a woman, she has always been 100% honest with me. If she straight up thought i was ugly she'd tell me. She said the last girl i was after, who i really liked a lot, my best friend... that she was just couldn't get over her own shallowness. how these women want their "knight in shining armor." Which most guys don't fit that description.
Here is a good example...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyeUcFKRv4
STFU0 -
Dream on! We're a package dealslideaway1 wrote: »melanietx504 wrote: »Am I too late to get on the "creepy" train?
Your fine, but you will have to leave your dog at the station.
0 -
melanietx504 wrote: »
Dream on! We're a package dealslideaway1 wrote: »melanietx504 wrote: »Am I too late to get on the "creepy" train?
Your fine, but you will have to leave your dog at the station.
S'okay. Well sneak him on
0 -
As a divorce attorney, I would tell you to stay married to him... at least until he signs all his contracts...0
-
So sorry for OP for marrying a baddie - but, it happens to lots of people all over the world every day and you're young and smart and beautiful and soon to be FREE. The important thing is to recognize that it's not your fault, he sounds like a mega player only good at hiding it so you have to find a way to move forward and let it go for your own happiness.
So UGH to the creeper posting here for no reason. Here is some truth for you:
Every single "nice guy" out there has faked or is faking a friendship with a female when all he wants from her is sex. Yet she is always the bad person for not being sufficiently grateful for the fake friendship to give up the sex. Could it be possible that she actually sees right through you and knows you're only buzzing around her in the hopes that one of these days she'll be hurt enough to let you in her pants?0 -
-
1. YOu're taking me too seriously.
2. Have you/would you date a guy whom is obese?
3. Most of my friend's are women, i am nice to them, if i wasn't they wouldn't be around me.
4. I am not sure if we're understanding eachother. This girl is cute, the "unattractive" thing i said earlier was an example I said, "i would date someone who i am not physically attracted to if they made me happy." And yes I have. I can think of a few girls.
5. Countless times I have guided her or tried to(when she didn't listen). When she didn't listen it always bit her in the rear end. Then after what she wanted didn't work out, then she listens and becomes successful.
6. That's what i do, her mother was extremely abusive. SHe has very low self esteem and self worth. I always tell her positive things about herself to build her confidence. So no, that's not what women want.
7. Honestly... of course everyone should be treated with respect. There are things women "say they want" and things they "respond to" it's very common to know, they don't know what they want most of the time, they're indecisive and confused. They are not logical thinkers, they're more emotional. They might want something one minute, then a change of mood hits them and then they want something else. A good example is they constantly say, What is funny I just looked up "What women want" I had my own ideas. I just clicked on the first page that came up here is the list...
Respect- I GIVE
sex - OF CORUSE
romance - I AM
time - I GIVE
dinner - Brought food to her on a few occasions as a surprise.
consistency - I am consistant
engagement - To soon
humor and humility - Humor yes(we always make eachother laugh) humility, probably not.
challenge - Yes.
i got 9.5 out of 10. So what's the problem??? The answer is in my reply to this question.
Please just stop.0 -
Oy. This thread.
0 -
0
-
aliciamarieUF wrote: »Hey guys. I haven't been on in a week and my fitness goals have come to a temporary stop. I was doing the stronglifts 5x5 program and trying to lose weight and tone my body. I have lost 4 pounds this past week just by not eating.
I was living in Rome with my husband of 4 years and my little sister had a stroke on October of 2014 so I hopped on a plane and came home to Miami immediately to help her recuperate. My husband came to see me for Christmas in December. He stayed until mid-January and the plan was that he would come back over the summer with his green card and start working here while I got a car and a job in order. Well we started having problems a week after he got back to Italy because he is working on a music project (he's a singer and has never worked a day in his life because his parents are old money and he can afford to sit around and work on becoming "famous"). He told me he was in the process of signing a contract with someone very important in the field. Long story short, his friend who is currently in an argument with him told me he was a liar and sent me a video and photos of an orgy they had in the apartment we shared together. They paid 4 prostitutes and tag teamed on them. Apparently, it's not the first time my husband has been seeking services from prostitutes. Who knows how many times he cheated on me while I was at work. I am in the processes of getting full on STD tests.
I feel deceived. I didn't know the man I was married to. I feel stupid for investing time and energy into marriage with a pig. Not only did he do this to a wife who adored him and would have given anything for him, but he did it to me during a time where I was at risk of losing my sister. Now I have a long and complicated international divorce in the works and I'm feeling really scared and anxious. The only bright side that is coming out of this is that I feel liberated. I was able to purchase my car a few days ago, I'm in the process of looking for work, and I intend to go to law school (I'm only 24) to study family law and hopefully help people in similar situations. I don't know how I will ever trust a man again or even have a happy marriage or form some kind of a family.
Sorry for the rant, but I know how people on these forums are very supportive. Has anyone gone through anything similar, and how did you put it behind you to continue losing weight and being the best you could be?
Thank you.
Always put you first.... ur ex sounds like a pile of *kitten* anyways libes on mom amd dads money hires his hookups cant even earn the women he cheated on you with.... if you ask me he did u a favor... now u need to find a man no more running with children .... value yourself more and more because your worth it and you will realuze how worthless that foreign pile of *kitten* is0 -
acorsaut89 wrote: »
I did cut it off. I just feel kind of bad for her because i know the potential we could have had, but she missed out because of shallow views. she will always have problems, but it's karma. That's what it always is. but i do agree with you, let intentions be known up front, and get to know them differently. You're right. There are many more videos like the the one i shown.ogmomma2012 wrote: »
I know she doesn't like me like that, because I wasn't INTERESTED IN SEX with her. I liked her as a person. SO i fell in to the "Friends zone" maybe if i was a bit more sexual at first, things would have been different. I actually take the time to KNOW someone, before jumping in to relationships. I mean that's a big problem in our society... Isn't that the problem the OP had??? And a few other people who have posted. Maybe if I had a lamborgini, it would be different. Like in the video i posted early, the girl wasn't interested, but the first sign of money... She gets interested.furioushummingbird wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
I haven't read other posts after this one, so forgive me if this was already said: WOMEN ARE NOT DEVICES TO PUT FRIENDSHIP COINS IN UNTIL SEX FALLS OUT. WOMEN DO NOT OWE YOU *kitten*. THE GIRL DOESN'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY, TOUGH T*TS. STOP TAKING OUT YOUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATION ON WOMEN SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T GET ONE.
Good god, please let this guy be a troll. Otherwise I smell fedoras and neck beard a mile away.
My original post in my first post is that it takes time for people to get to know one another
Getting to know someone in the context of dating is NOT the same thing as getting to know someone as a platonic friend outside the context of dating. Make your intentions known -beforehand- so your delusions of the "friendzone" and "nice guys finish last" won't happen.
They don't want to date you? Deal with it. If you can't stand being friends with a chick without expecting something in return, cut that friendship off. Don't keep doing nice things expecting them to change their mind and see you as this awesome dude.
You show one video demonstrating one or two chicks being materialistic. Is that what you think of ALL women?
WTF is this? You are not the only man out there for her. She did what she knew was best for herself and thank god she did.
WTF is wrong with you? You make it sound like you're some kind of martyr for even being interested in her and being willing to handle her. Don't feel bad for her - she did what is best for her. If she needs time to be single, let her be single. If she knows the kind of guy she wants and - SHOCKER! it's not an *kitten* like you - then let her go for it. Believe it or not, women do know what they want. Saying I don't know what I want is a very nice way of saying I know what I want, and it's not you.
She will handle herself - most women, even if they have "issues" can take care of themselves. You don't need to be the martyr and in all honest you're not. The more you respond the bigger of an *kitten* you make yourself out to be. I'm very proud of her - as a woman - for not settling for you just because you've always been the silent best friend waiting in the background for her to have this epiphany that you're the one, which really is what it sounds like you've been doing. Plus it also sounds like you want someone who is completely dependent on you, so you don't really have to bring anything to the relationship except the guilty statements of "I take care of you" "No one else will get you" "You will be alone forever" "You don't have anyone else but me" etc etc. Does it make you feel like a big man to have a woman so dependent on you? That's what it sounds like you want by preying on someone who may have some disadvantages to begin with. That's childish and quite frankly disgusting.
You are taking me to seriously. And just to be clear, I NEVER told her those things. I wouldn't do that to her. If you knew her, you'd understand what i am saying. SHe can be with other people she has been, but she always ends up hurt. But yes that's what she wants, so that's on her.
I don't want a woman who's completely dependent on me. As I said, i think she's a wonderful girl and I want whats best for her. Based on what I have seen, how she interacts with others, and guys. Things just aren't going to work out. Some guys not all, but I seen a few guys ask this question of me, "would you do that girl?" Some guys where talking about her like that. They say, "yeah that's it nothing more she's too crazy" And honestly, I am pretty damn good at predicting things.
I do it cause I want whats best for her, That's why. When we're together she's happy, that's the bottom line.
I didn't say you had said those things directly to her, what I had said was this is what I get when I read between the lines of your statements.
As for "where did you go wrong" and you coming up with befriending her . . . uh no, you aren't the victim here.
By you saying you know what's best for her and saying you are pretty good at predicting her relationships . . . you are saying you should be making these choices for her.
Bottom Line: she doesn't want you. If you she did, she would be with you.
I'm very happy when I'm with my friends, guys or girls, it doesn't mean I want to settle down and date them. I think you're probably reading more into it than you should.
She is a grown woman. Everyone makes mistakes. Just let her be. If she wants to be with you, she will be. If she doesn't, move on and find a person who is mentally damaged to be completely dependent on you.
0 -
jofjltncb6 wrote: »Okay i was going to go do my work, but just wanted to be clear. All jokes and bs aside. I know where i went wrong. It's simple.
I became her friend, I should have showed my interest up front, but at that time i wasn't sure if it's something i wanted so we became friends. It's hard for people to get out of the friends zone. That's the real issue.
I couldn't disagree with this more if I actively tried.
Yes, if a romantic interest was never to be, you may indeed remain friends and not develop anything romantically...but if a romantic interest was to be, whether or not you were short- or long-term friends will not affect this possibility negatively at all. This "hard to get out of the friend zone" argument is how guys justify that someone isn't romantically interested in them. It's just simply not factual.
I kind of agree with you, but there is a bit more to it. There are the guys that try to get it on, and the guys who don't. The issue is, how a woman see's a friend. She can see him kind of like father/brother figure. A guy either pushes her buttons in the right way or he does not. If he does push them the right way she will be in to him, if he does not she won't. The label "friends" can be seen as curse in some situations. It implies, "nothing more is going to happen than casual comfort, don't have sexual thoughts about me, don't even get that idea." Once that label is on you, it's tough if you want more.
We interact differently with our authority figures, friends, associates. This is all based on labels. The label put on someone or on us determines how/what we think about them.
There have been times I have liked a girl, and she liked me but the timing wasn't right. Also timing helps, i remember on a few occasions, thinking to myself "i am with this girl she used to be a friend it's weird" This occurred when we lost contact for a while, we came back in to each others lives. It's like starting over again but on a different foot.
You're forgetting one very important, if not fundamental piece of information: what about what the other person wants?
You're acting as though the relationship should be solely based on how you feel about that person. You can't just walk up to a group of women and say alright that one, and expect that she is going to want you in the same way.
I've had crushes on guys who only wanted to be friends and guess what happened? We're still friends and I'm seeing other people. I'm not gonna push it, they don't like me that way. It happens. It sucks to be rejected but GET OVER IT. Put on some big boy pants and find someone else.
0 -
fitcolton97 wrote: »my dad did that to my mom too
Careful where you get your facts and make sure they're facts. There's 3 sides to every story...Her Side, His Side and The Truth
Unfortunately kids from a broken marriages by definition only believe the most influential party.
0 -
SleeplessInSeattle wrote: »fitcolton97 wrote: »my dad did that to my mom too
Careful where you get your facts and make sure they're facts. There's 3 sides to every story...Her Side, His Side and The Truth
Unfortunately kids from a broken marriages by definition only believe the most influential party.
The definition of broken marriages is 'kids only believe the most influential party?
Also, I'm sure the use of the word 'only' is incorrect. Maybe 'usually' but I highly doubt 'only'.
0 -
SleeplessInSeattle wrote: »fitcolton97 wrote: »my dad did that to my mom too
Careful where you get your facts and make sure they're facts. There's 3 sides to every story...Her Side, His Side and The Truth
Unfortunately kids from a broken marriages by definition only believe the most influential party.
Kids from broken marriages are by definition kids whose biological parents are no longer together (IE - Married or in a common law relationship). That is the definition of kids from broken marriages.
Maybe it was supposed to be "by default"?0 -
SleeplessInSeattle wrote: »fitcolton97 wrote: »my dad did that to my mom too
Careful where you get your facts and make sure they're facts. There's 3 sides to every story...Her Side, His Side and The Truth
Unfortunately kids from a broken marriages by definition only believe the most influential party.
Says the person who keeps pimping out a religious self-help book, and has instructed the OP that she should "Learn to forgive the unforgivable! Learn to understand before being understood. The first law of reconciliation. Finally................love unconditionally."
Yes, we get it, you are quite against marriages splitting up. You assume all marriages that end devolve into poop slinging. Please, take your assumptions and religious agenda elsewhere.0 -
NoIdea101NoIdea wrote: »
What wasn't aimed at her? The "you probably saw it coming a mile away?" It was in your very first post. [/quote]
ah yes i see it now. I was wondering where the OP was getting that from. Is it wrong for me to say that? Maybe she did maybe she didn't. I am not the type to get upset at people if they're being honest with me and sharing their opinion. Even if I don't agree with it. How many have insulted me and tried to belittle me through this entire topic? I don't' care i don't hold it against them.
Many have said through the post they been in similar situations and they saw red flags all over the person. I have seen red flags over some people, Often people in these situations see red flags from a mile away. I am not putting the blame on the op, that's what my first post was about. I also said, many men bs women(which is true). I also said, that there will be a guy that would appreciate her. Yet everyone wants to focus on the negative and not the positive.
[/quote]
1. assuming that ALL girls want 'a knight in shining armour', or a guy with money and a six-pack
2. ; I also love guys who are skinny and nerdy.
3. Assuming that because you are nice to a girl you are entitled to something.
4. Saying that there is no physical attraction there, yet you still want to be with her and tried very hard to be.
5. You thinking that you know EXACTLY what she wants and what she is thinking, better than she does, and therefore thinking that you know what is best for her....
6. Women want a man who will make them feel confident and like they can take on the world, not a man who will molly-coddle them into insecurity or uselessness.
7. treating women with the respect that they deserve; as strong, independent creatures who know their own minds and hearts far better than you ever will.
[/quote]
1. YOu're taking me too seriously.
2. Have you/would you date a guy whom is obese?
3. Most of my friend's are women, i am nice to them, if i wasn't they wouldn't be around me.
4. I am not sure if we're understanding eachother. This girl is cute, the "unattractive" thing i said earlier was an example I said, "i would date someone who i am not physically attracted to if they made me happy." And yes I have. I can think of a few girls.
5. Countless times I have guided her or tried to(when she didn't listen). When she didn't listen it always bit her in the rear end. Then after what she wanted didn't work out, then she listens and becomes successful.
6. That's what i do, her mother was extremely abusive. SHe has very low self esteem and self worth. I always tell her positive things about herself to build her confidence. So no, that's not what women want.
7. Honestly... of course everyone should be treated with respect. There are things women "say they want" and things they "respond to" it's very common to know, they don't know what they want most of the time, they're indecisive and confused. They are not logical thinkers, they're more emotional. They might want something one minute, then a change of mood hits them and then they want something else. A good example is they constantly say, What is funny I just looked up "What women want" I had my own ideas. I just clicked on the first page that came up here is the list...
Respect- I GIVE
sex - OF CORUSE
romance - I AM
time - I GIVE
dinner - Brought food to her on a few occasions as a surprise.
consistency - I am consistant
engagement - To soon
humor and humility - Humor yes(we always make eachother laugh) humility, probably not.
challenge - Yes.
i got 9.5 out of 10. So what's the problem??? The answer is in my reply to this question.
[/quote]
OK:
1. I am taking you seriously, because the behaviours and attitude you are exhibiting are very serious
2. Yes, I have actually, and he was one of the nicest guys I have ever known, and we only broke it off because he moved away up North to run the family business. I have also dated a blind guy too, if that has any relevance.
3. Yes, and that is good, but my point still stands when it comes to women you are attracted to. Your attitude and statements in your previous posts have already been addressed by others.
4. There is nothing wrong with dating someone you are not physically attracted to, as a lot of the time that attraction can build as you get to know someone. However, to have known someone for as long as you have known that girl, to not be physically attracted to them yet still exhibiting the almost obsessive and dominant behaviours you are, is worrying behaviour.
5.....I have NO WORDS. Do you honestly believe that because she took a bit of your advice and it turned out to be a positive thing, that entitles you to run her life and dictate her every move? We learn and become the people who we are through are mistakes as well as our triumphs, and that is because they are OUR mistakes and triumphs. No woman should EVER be a man's puppet.
6. Wait....what don't women want? Well, I'm a woman, and I want a man who will make me feel confident and like I can take on the world myself. So you're telling me now that you also know me better than I know myself, me, a WOMAN? I would LOVE to hear you tell my boyfriend, (and a lot of my male friends) that actually what I don't need is a man who will make me feel confident. I can imagine them laughing in your face as I type!
7. Your whole comment there about how women don't know what they want, are emotional and illogical thinkers, just took the biscuit. You can't respect women if your view is so low of them, and don't you DARE tell me it is 'sociology', because trust me I am very well studied in that area as well as psychology, and can tell you right now that is just not how the human psyche works.
Also, where did you get the list of ten from? Are those ten things you think are the basis of a decent relationship?
Pu, I have come across people with your mind-set before, and I also know that there is absolutely nothing I can say that will make you realize what a misogynistic, victimising, manipulative, emotionally dependent and socially concerning individual you are, (I was refraining from being harsh or personal, but I don't hold much hope of getting through to you anyway so I'm just going to be blunt and honest). Until you accept that your attitude is completely out of whack and try and do something about it, you will never find the true happiness with a partner which you obviously crave.0 -
Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
I just wanted to use that gif but this whole 'nice guys finish last' and 'girls only want bad guys' is really annoying0 -
Congratulations on your psychic powers, but don't you think you should be using them for something more productive?Every single "nice guy" out there has faked or is faking a friendship with a female when all he wants from her is sex. Yet she is always the bad person for not being sufficiently grateful for the fake friendship to give up the sex. Could it be possible that she actually sees right through you and knows you're only buzzing around her in the hopes that one of these days she'll be hurt enough to let you in her pants?
0 -
This is what happens - we buy into monogamish culture and next think you know everybody thinks they "deserve" a mate.
0 -
Too personal for me...Not to be blunt (really...)
But why come to strangers in cyber space to spill your personal drama? Don't get it... must be my age
You are implying that it is not productive to seek the opinion of objective third parties or people that could offer a diverse range of thoughts/suggestion/etc...
With all due respect, your logic is fundamentally flawed and and I hope that you will reconsider your position or at least offer better alternatives.
Additionally, people were initially suspect of the telephone, so I imagine that someone once held your position on "spilling drama via technology":
"Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone in 1876. He made his first call in March to Thomas A. Watson, saying, "Mr. Watson, come here; I want you." Few people considered Bell's invention more than a toy, but it did not take long for people to install telephones in their homes, businesses, or towns." [1]
1. http://comminfo.rutgers.edu/~dalbello/FLVA/infrastructure/infoinfra/telephone/0 -
Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.0 -
From your pictures, your weight looks perfectly normal. It sounds like you've lost all the weight you really needed to.... 200 pounds of ugly, unsightly husband.0
-
So sorry OP that you are having to go through this.
I had a similar situation with an ex fiance, he got caught out 3 weeks before our intended wedding, so I had a slightly luckier escape. My main advice in the short term is to protect yourself. Both emotionally and financially. My ex attempted to palm off half a massive amount of debt, that he'd taken out in his name that I genuinely had no idea about, off onto me. It took some very swift action, which it sounds like you've taken with your international lawyer, to protect myself from that.
Best wishes for your sister too btw, I hope that she's on the mend very soon x0 -
Pretty common in Italy unfortunately0
-
itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
You position yourself as a knight in shining armor "I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her" and then you slam what she could be looking for because you don't quite match up with what she wants in a romantic relationship.
All I see is the potential for an inexplicably toxic relationship based on a discreet, unwritten contract.
"Nobody will put up with you, but I will".
Imagining how she might feel if that mentality is projected upon her is borderline terrifying.itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Sad thing is... you probably saw this coming from a mile away and did nothing about it. I bet you felt something wasn't right before you guys even got married.
You can't just close up and say "how can i trust any man again?" truth is for me... there was this girl i liked a lot, i treated her well, her ex cheated on her coutnless times, treated her bad, verbally and mentally abusive. This girl and i got along great, i looked for more than a friendship. She would give me excuses, "I am not ready, idk what i want" then a month later she got with some other guy. Really upset me. Guess what? they got in to a fight and they broke up, she was upset about it. She's different, she has ADHD and not many people understand her. I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her and being able to handle her. I tried again, things, but she still wasn't interested, she lead me on a bit this time.
She tells me things like what you said, "how can i trust guys now?" I told her many times, you have to open up and trust, if you don't you're just going to shrivel up and die alone. Sure maybe a guy might come, may not work out, then another may not work out. But if you trust, there will be a guy who appreciates it and gives you what you want.
I also told her many times, "a guy has a tendency to bs, and make himself greater than what he really is at first." It's kind of understandable, you're trying to win someone over. But the guys who are real, who are genuine. Don't do that, then they don't fit the womens ideal, "the knight in shining armor" and she fells for someone who is lying and bsing her.
She doesn't like you and doesn't have to. Not even because she's different and you don't think anyone else will love her.
You position yourself as a knight in shining armor "I honestly can't see any other guy putting up with her" and then you slam what she could be looking for because you don't quite match up with what she wants in a romantic relationship.
All I see is the potential for an inexplicably toxic relationship based on a discreet, unwritten contract.
"Nobody will put up with you, but I will".
Imagining how she might feel if that mentality is projected upon her is borderline terrifying.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZu-tBi7DM
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions