Absence Before Marriage

MaydayParadeGirl

I feel like someone setting the rules before marriage is gonna do the same after marriage. While the decision to sleep together should obviously be mutual, to arbitrarily decide what you as a couple will and won't do seems selfish.

How? I make no apologies- I refuse to be in a sexless relationship. I'm not saying it needs to be my way and on my schedule, but I see no reason to be in a relationship that denies a form of intimacy that I love.

I also acknowledge that there are forms of intimacy besides sex, and those are wonderful too.

I think we're on the same side here...if a person decides (on his or her own) to wait until marriage, then I wouldn't be surprised if they keep making arbitrary rules, without their partner's considerations, after marriage as well. First it's "no sex until marriage" and then eventually it's "only on Saturdays" or "only with the lights off" or "no kitchen appliances, please"...where does it end?

You have to dig deeper and figure out why that person is saying no though. I mean if it's just a matter of not being ready than they might say 'until marriage' but really mean until they are ready to avoid feeling pressured more. I don't think that they're going to keep making rules.I mean maybe some, but not all

bio01979

regardless of the needs of your daughter. Damn.

The "need" for my daughter to have sex before marriage? That's not a need.

Take out that maternity cover, then.

while I would not deny my children birth control, and I plan to educate them etc

I will just say that just because she isn't giving them bc doesn't automatically mean they will get pregnant.

My mother is extremely old fashioned (not religious just old fashioned) and I could never have gone to her for bc, she would have flipped her lid if she knew I was on bc. And I think to this day she thinks I am a virgin (ok that might be stretching it but probably not)

but I went to the doctor and got bc when I was 16. I was not sexually active until 18 (so for those thinking that just because you give them bc or they are on it they will have sex it isn't true- I also insisted on condoms even when I was on bc so no it doesn't make girls think they don't need condoms) not for any major reason other than I wasn't with the right person until then. But I never got pregnant despite my mother not giving me a bit of help. (never ever got even "the talk" from my parents lol)

MaydayParadeGirl

The "need" for my daughter to have sex before marriage? That's not a need.

Take out that maternity cover, then.

Right, because every daughter whose parents don't provide her with contraception ends up pregnant.

I am actually hoping your daughter ends up pregnant at 16. May it be immaculate

I will say this. My mother never talked about sex with me, never brought it up, cringed at the idea of putting me on birth control, I didn't know what a condom looked like until high school, and I'm a virgin. My sister never got pregnant either. You can't assume that because a parent isn't there to help a child is going to run off and have sex.

bio01979

"no kitchen appliances, please"...where does it end?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

vtmoon

I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.

So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.

Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,

There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.

Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?

I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.

I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.

So Hitler and the girl who is shoplifting makeup are on the same level?

No, I don't think so, but both sinned, and both need to be forgiven.

So how many Hail Marys does Hitler say versus the shoplifting girl?

That's Catholics hun.

Aren't they the original Christians? like the rest are spinoffs.

But I guess your history about Christianity is lacking, bless your heart.

MaydayParadeGirl

I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.

So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.

Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,

There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.

Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?

I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.

I believe that sin is sin. He hates it all. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God". So do levels really matter? They are forgiven if you ask and believe that Jesus died for them.

So Hitler and the girl who is shoplifting makeup are on the same level?

No, I don't think so, but both sinned, and both need to be forgiven.

So how many Hail Marys does Hitler say versus the shoplifting girl?

That's Catholics hun.

Aren't they the original Christians? like the rest are spinoffs.

But I guess your history about Christianity is lacking, bless your heart.

^I like you

Lovdiamnd

Well that starts the debate on if Catholics are Christians. Actually I know A LOT about theology, but I'm not going have an argument with anyone about it. It's a waste of time.

highmaintnance

The "need" for my daughter to have sex before marriage? That's not a need.

Take out that maternity cover, then.

Right, because every daughter whose parents don't provide her with contraception ends up pregnant.

I am actually hoping your daughter ends up pregnant at 16. May it be immaculate

in fact for you, I will say a prayer

That's F'd up. Utterly ridiculous regardless of your, or her beliefs.

wineplease

And with that, the thread ends. We did it without it being locked or nuked! That's impressive.

Lovdiamnd

ldrosophila

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

bearkisses

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

look, I respect religion. Which is why I haven't attacked it, persay. I don't wish that person's children harm. They clearly have enough with parenting like that. Offering them options is the only "blessing" (and I never use that word since I am agnostic) any parent can really offer a child. Hopefully anyone who pushes abstinence on their children goes easy on them when they find out their children will make their own decisions, and hopefully those children are bright enough to self-educate.

dayone987

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

A lot of it was ok I(MO)
Until we got to the point where bearkisses hoped than a 16 year old would get pregnant becuase she didn't like the parent's ideology.

Lovdiamnd

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

Is that all you keep coming back to say?

emergencytennis

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

I thought it was all fairly civil. Maybe you could point out the disrespect?

dayone987

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

look, I respect religion. Which is why I haven't attacked it, persay. I don't wish that person's children harm. .

"I am actually hoping your daughter ends up pregnant at 16. May it be immaculate "

That was you right?
Way out of line and definitely not respectful.

bearkisses

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

A lot of it was ok I(MO)
Until we got to the point where bearkisses hoped than a 16 year old would get pregnant becuase she didn't like the parent's ideology.

I don't think it is disrespectful to hope someone is fertile and going for their desires. I did NOT WISH AN STD on her. And I don't pray, and prayer doesn't work anyway, so if her daughter gets pregnant IT WASN'T ME!

bio01979

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

I don't disagree that there was some disrespect on both sides in that thread and while I don't agree with disrespect or judgement from either side, that was pretty tame for the internet when dealing with a topic like that

I mean I have seem much more iflammatory things when talking about hockey nevermind an inflammatory topic like religion or politics lol

wineplease

I don't wish that person's children harm.

Yes, you did. You wished and prayed that my daughter would get pregnant at 16. Everyone can read your post.

They clearly have enough with parenting like that

You don't know me or my children. You're basing this off the fact that I said I would not provide my child with contraception. I am very close to my children and we have a great relationship. I've done the very best job I can as a parent, and I've still got two at home. I've never claimed to be the best parent. I've already tried to make it clear that I can educate my children on sex and contraception without providing it. My children all know they can come to me when they make mistakes, and they all have. We all do.

bearkisses

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

look, I respect religion. Which is why I haven't attacked it, persay. I don't wish that person's children harm. .

"I am actually hoping your daughter ends up pregnant at 16. May it be immaculate "

That was you right?
Way out of line and definitely not respectful.

immaculate conception is what every christian hopes for, no? the second coming...pun intended

MaydayParadeGirl

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

Is that all you keep coming back to say?

bwahaha you're right this person has posted the exact same thing multiple times or at least something super close.

emergencytennis

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

I don't disagree that there was some disrespect on both sides in that thread and while I don't agree with disrespect or judgement from either side, that was pretty tame for the internet when dealing with a topic like that

I mean I have seem much more iflammatory things when talking about hockey nevermind an inflammatory topic like religion or politics lol

Ah, you hockey dudes!!

bearkisses

I don't wish that person's children harm.

Yes, you did. You wished and prayed that my daughter would get pregnant at 16. Everyone can read your post.

They clearly have enough with parenting like that

You don't know me or my children. You're basing this off the fact that I said I would not provide my child with contraception. I am very close to my children and we have a great relationship. I've done the very best job I can as a parent, and I've still got two at home. I've never claimed to be the best parent. I've already tried to make it clear that I can educate my children on sex and contraception without providing it. My children all know they can come to me when they make mistakes, and they all have. We all do.

well as long as you educate them. They can buy their own condoms.

MaydayParadeGirl

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

look, I respect religion. Which is why I haven't attacked it, persay. I don't wish that person's children harm. .

"I am actually hoping your daughter ends up pregnant at 16. May it be immaculate "

That was you right?
Way out of line and definitely not respectful.

immaculate conception is what every christian hopes for, no? the second coming...pun intended

No one wishes for their sixteen year old daughter to get pregnant regardless of what religion they are, or lack of religion

ldrosophila

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

Is that all you keep coming back to say?

oooo youre a fiesty one...lol i could directly argue and confront but find its not necessary.

dayone987

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

A lot of it was ok I(MO)
Until we got to the point where bearkisses hoped than a 16 year old would get pregnant becuase she didn't like the parent's ideology.

I don't think it is disrespectful to hope someone is fertile and going for their desires. I did NOT WISH AN STD on her. And I don't pray, and prayer doesn't work anyway, so if her daughter gets pregnant IT WASN'T ME!

Nice try but really why don't you just aopologize. You said "hope" not pray. Hoping a 16 year gets pregnant is not the same as wishing someone who wants to get pregnant is fertile.

ldrosophila

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

Is that all you keep coming back to say?

bwahaha you're right this person has posted the exact same thing multiple times or at least something super close.

because i find it disgusting and cant imagine acting like that

bearkisses

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

look, I respect religion. Which is why I haven't attacked it, persay. I don't wish that person's children harm. .

"I am actually hoping your daughter ends up pregnant at 16. May it be immaculate "

That was you right?
Way out of line and definitely not respectful.

immaculate conception is what every christian hopes for, no? the second coming...pun intended

No one wishes for their sixteen year old daughter to get pregnant regardless of what religion they are, or lack of religion

well then I obviously didn't wish it. Problem solved. She said she will educate her kids. So, that is good enough for me.

DalekBrittany

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

Is that all you keep coming back to say?

bwahaha you're right this person has posted the exact same thing multiple times or at least something super close.

Who cares? This whole thread of people being utterly ridiculous and you're bashing someone because she said something a few times? Get over yourselves. Really.

bearkisses

I'm in disbelief at the amount of disrespect and closed minded individuals. I'm surprised this thread continued to page two without being shut down.

A lot of it was ok I(MO)
Until we got to the point where bearkisses hoped than a 16 year old would get pregnant becuase she didn't like the parent's ideology.

I don't think it is disrespectful to hope someone is fertile and going for their desires. I did NOT WISH AN STD on her. And I don't pray, and prayer doesn't work anyway, so if her daughter gets pregnant IT WASN'T ME!

Nice try but really why don't you just aopologize. You said "hope" not pray. Hoping a 16 year gets pregnant is not the same as wishing someone who wants to get pregnant is fertile.

I did say pray in the later post, it was RIGHT afterwards. So please, spare me. I said several times I would never wish that on the girl. And I am SORRY IF I OFFENDED. I really don't wish/pray/hope for that. I hope for the world to be allowed an education, and to be respected, especially by their parents.