Absence Before Marriage

Timshel_

Mods must be napping.

Cajoke123

I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.

So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.

Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,

There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.

Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?

I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.

wineplease

Mods must be napping.

Or maybe people aren't hitting the report button and actually talking it out.

_Pseudonymous_

I didn't wait but sometimes I wish I did. Or at least waited until I knew I was ready. I wasn't emotionally prepared for it or the aftermath. I think many girls can relate to that. It's not so much that I experience guilt for not following what the bible says as much as allowed it to lose meaning. To alter what it means even. I'm not saying that waiting would have changed that but at least then I would have been with someone who loves me and whom I love to help guide us through that experience.

It's different for everyone but I don't believe that virginity should be taken as lightly as it is now-a-days. I think everyone should just really take the time to make that decision and not allow their libidos or the other person to make that choice for them.

That's just my experiences forming my opinion right there.

Edited to add: When I have kids I'm not going to necessarily encourage abstinence but I am going to emphasize how important it is to wait for the right person and the right time in their life. It's not to be taken lightly and given thoughtlessly and that I will love them no matter what they decide and then encourage them to talk to me about it when they feel they are ready so that we can make sure she is prepared emotionally and with birth control. I don't want my daughter feeling shame for sex nor do I want her devaluing her virginity.

MercenaryNoetic26

Everyone. Okay so when you have kids encourage them to have sex before marriage. Good for you. at least youre "cool". Go away.

They're going to do what they want regardless. At least my kids will know about birth control and condoms and come to me when they need me without worrying about my judgement or disapproval. I wouldn't encourage kids having kids... but I won't encourage kids getting married just to have sex either. I tell my daughter to focus on education, not boys and when she has a degree she can then figure out if she wants a relationship or a family. Notice how marriage or sex wasn't mentioned? She's 11.

If you don't know what you're missing, good for you. Many of us love sex and imagining life with the wrong partner and a possibly unsatisfying sex life sounds like doom and gloom.

MsJulielicious

MaydayParadeGirl

I didn't wait but sometimes I wish I did. Or at least waited until I knew I was ready. I wasn't emotionally prepared for it or the aftermath. I think many girls can relate to that. It's not so much that I experience guilt for not following what the bible says as much as allowed it to lose meaning. To alter what it means even. I'm not saying that waiting would have changed that but at least then I would have been with someone who loves me and whom I love to help guide us through that experience.

It's different for everyone but I don't believe that virginity should be taken as lightly as it is now-a-days. I think everyone should just really take the time to make that decision and not allow their libidos or the other person to make that choice for them.

That's just my experiences forming my opinion right there.

I agree. I think that that is something they should be teaching more when sitting kids down and telling them about sex. Sure it's great to teach about safe sex and all of that, but most schools just want to yell that not having sex is the best way and some parents would rather rely on the schools. It's just important to make sure they realize they can wait until they're ready, no matter how long that takes and NO MATTER their gender. Sometimes I feel like guys get more pressure to be having sex, even if some of might have wanted to wait their friends might make them feel uncool. I don't know if that even makes sense...but a lot of people are making just statements about females and them waiting and feeling pressured, it can go both ways

HeidiMightyRawr

It's not something I chose, I've been living with my partner for 3 years (together for 7) and while we'd like to get married, I've got other things I'd like to prioritize first - such as getting on the property ladder with him! The only thing I'm saving specifically for after marriage is the children, that's just a personal decision of ours - I don't judge others who choose differently. You can have commitment and security without a document saying you're husband and wife.

However, I would date someone who wanted to wait, if I liked them enough ("enough" meaning a hell of a lot!)

kkclif

I personally think you need to find out if you're compatible in EVERY way...hell..if I waited till I married someone and then found out they had a small ****, I'd be seriously pissed off.

:laugh:

emergencytennis

I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.

So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.

Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,

There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.

Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?

I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.

Damn, I thought you were going to provide insight.

So, to the followers of the Christian god, pre marital sex is the same as cheating on your taxes.

lanajaymurphy

I'm not religious in any way, shape or form. I believe in being a good person and helping others. This subject(s?) are completely each to their own. EVERYONE has the right do/believe what they want. When the day comes that I have children I dearly hope that they would come to me and talk about sex. the way I see it there are some things you don't want to ask at school infront your peers. call it what you want but I think thats an open loving relationship with your children but thats just my personal view.
GOOD DAY SIR.

mister_universe

I didn't wait but sometimes I wish I did. Or at least waited until I knew I was ready. I wasn't emotionally prepared for it or the aftermath. I think many girls can relate to that. It's not so much that I experience guilt for not following what the bible says as much as allowed it to lose meaning. To alter what it means even. I'm not saying that waiting would have changed that but at least then I would have been with someone who loves me and whom I love to help guide us through that experience.

It's different for everyone but I don't believe that virginity should be taken as lightly as it is now-a-days. I think everyone should just really take the time to make that decision and not allow their libidos or the other person to make that choice for them.

That's just my experiences forming my opinion right there.

Edited to add: When I have kids I'm not going to necessarily encourage abstinence but I am going to emphasize how important it is to wait for the right person and the right time in their life. It's not to be taken lightly and given thoughtlessly and that I will love them no matter what they decide and then encourage them to talk to me about it when they feel they are ready so that we can make sure she is prepared emotionally and with birth control. I don't want my daughter feeling shame for sex nor do I want her devaluing her virginity.

I like how you said it. :flowerforyou:

wineplease

. At least my kids will know about birth control and condoms and come to me when they need me without worrying about my judgement or disapproval.

My three grown sons all knew about birth control, condoms, and STD's. They didn't have to hear about those things from me. I don't want any of my children coming to me for contraception. You can teach your children the value of abstinence without making them think you'll hate them and they're going to hell if they do have sex outside of marriage. You can teach morals and values of all kinds without your children being afraid to tell you when they've done something of which you wouldn't approve.

peachfigs

Sex looks ( and seems ) boring as hell to me.
I'd rather sleep.
What people do, people do. But I personally don't think sex / dating is just a game (meaning, I'd rather wait than fool around like every other teenager). If I'm going to bring someone into my life, then I'm going to be 150% positive that they aren't leaving.
Talking like this is how i ended up with 4 cats and 4 dogs. fml.

LOL. This made me giggle.

Cajoke123

I don't like atheists. And they don't like me. Leave it at that.

So yeah.. I shouldn't have compared it to stealing. Stealing is less of a sin, IMHO.

Thank god you aren't your God, then. He doesn't have grades of sins,

There is actually a debate about this. True the Christian God's punishment for all sin was death, no matter how small it is, but I do think that there are different levels. For example I think that mass-murdering millions of people is a worse sin then speeding. They originally had the same punishment, but I don't think they are on the same level. There are a couple verses to this effect in the Bible in Matthew.

Is that right? So, how would we go about equating shagging next-door's younger son against, say, nicking some Mentos when
I picked up Dad's newspaper?

I think that only God knows, since he's the one who made the laws. That is, if you are a Christian.

Damn, I thought you were going to provide insight.

So, to the followers of the Christian god, pre marital sex is the same as cheating on your taxes.

I don't know the mind of God, so I can't say, and many followers of God do have differing opinions on this, but I do think that it's disobeying the laws of God. So yes, in a way I do think cheating on your taxes and pre-marital sex are very similar. But, of course, both can be forgiven.

Sqeekyjojo

Everyone. Okay so when you have kids encourage them to have sex before marriage. Good for you. at least youre "cool". Go away.

You do know that it isn't compulsory, don't you?

MaydayParadeGirl

. At least my kids will know about birth control and condoms and come to me when they need me without worrying about my judgement or disapproval.

My three grown sons all knew about birth control, condoms, and STD's. They didn't have to hear about those things from me. I don't want any of my children coming to me for contraception. You can teach your children the value of abstinence without making them think you'll hate them and they're going to hell if they do have sex outside of marriage. You can teach morals and values of all kinds without your children being afraid to tell you when they've done something of which you wouldn't approve.

Right but you got lucky because I know MY school system didn't teach much about sex at all. I mean they taught us girls about our periods in a way that had me ashamed and embarrassed to be a girl, pretty much until this day. I still hide the fact that I'm having my period because my school made it seem like it was something dirty and needed to be hidden, especially from males and the boys? They gave the boys condoms, they taught them how to put them on and they pretty much gave them the idea that it was their right as a man to have sex. It's really great that your boys all got to grow up knowing those things, but I think that looking at the big picture sometimes it really is a good idea for the parents to step in

Jennloella

it is always fun to read the first page of posts like this, then skip to the last page to see how quickly it jumped the rails. People are SO intolerant and offended by other people that don't think the same way as them. it is so SCARY!!!!

bio01979

I'm not religious in any way, shape or form. I believe in being a good person and helping others. This subject(s?) are completely each to their own. EVERYONE has the right do/believe what they want. When the day comes that I have children I dearly hope that they would come to me and talk about sex. the way I see it there are some things you don't want to ask at school infront your peers. call it what you want but I think thats an open loving relationship with your children but thats just my personal view.
GOOD DAY SIR.

I could not agree more

Mommylicous

My daughter was 6 months old before her father and I got married. :P Pretty clear on the topic.

I think in this day and age it's a little old fashioned. I have a high respect for people who CAN and DO wait until marriage.. But it just wasn't for me.

However, I will teach my children that it's a good thing to wait until you know for sure you love someone, that it's a very special thing, and that if you treat it like it's anything else, it'll lose everything that makes it so special between two people.. And that it's so much better when it's with someone that you love. But if they do decide to participate in such activities, to wait until they know it's right, and to be smart about it/use protection. If a teenager wants to do it, they're going to do it. But I just want them to trust me enough to come to me when they are considering it so we can get them the proper knowledge/protection. My mom and dad never talked about it, and I feel like learning it from my peers made it so much more appealing.

Edited to add: The only "sex talk" my mom gave me was the threat that if I got pregnant at 16, we were a Christian family. That I would not have an abortion, and I would NOT give the baby up for adoption. That I would carry the burden of raising the child myself. .. In those exact words.