Absence Before Marriage

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Replies

  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    I think that both the state and religions should stay out of people's sex lives, for the most part. We still need to protect children and animals from predators.
  • nope31
    nope31 Posts: 174
    I think its certainly nice to not spoil an already spoiled existence of relationships.
    If I could go back and do it over again I would.
    It would be nice to share that experience w/another, teaching and learning.
    Instead we are a society that lives on Instant Gratification and the Horse before the Cart sorta thing.
  • alehundrah
    alehundrah Posts: 156 Member
    My thoughts? What you want to do with your body is your business
    If you can't find someone that understands and appreciates your choices it's time to find someone else.
    This!!! Everyone thinks differently and has different beliefs, ideas, etc, etc. If you feel that waiting is the right thing for you, then do it. And if your partner doensn't want to wait, then he's probably not the right guy for you. It's very important that you never do something that you are against and that you always stick to what you believe in.
  • alehundrah
    alehundrah Posts: 156 Member
    I don't understand abstinence at all, your virginity isn't a gift to give someone, it was treasured before because back then there was no DNA tests and wealthy men wanted to insure that the son that will inherit his wealth is ACTUALLY his.
    Sex isn't a gift to give to man either, since both parties should be able to enjoy it equally if it is done right.
    To all the men and women saying that they would date someone with "too many miles on them", shame on you. How does respecting someone correlates with how many ****s you had in you?!
    Also abstinence is the most ridiculous form of contraception, use condoms
    Educate yourselves and stop slut-shaming.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCw2MzKjpoo
    You need to undestand that not everyone shares the same beliefs as you. Your way of thinking is great if it works for you but you shouldn't be belittling other people's opinions. If the OP feels that she wants to gift her husband her virginity, then that's her belief and her problem. Plus, just because there are DNA tests out there, that should not mean that a girl's virginity is not important. I know a lot of people that believe their virginity is a big thing. And just because she's a virgin doesn't mean she won't enjoy sex just as much as her partner will.And speaking of abstinence, most girls that refrain from sexual intercourse don't do it as a means of contraception. Most do it because they believe their virginity is IMPORTANT to them
  • Newfitme100
    Newfitme100 Posts: 4
    True. Got to be creative!
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    What really saddens me is that out of all these comments, I haven't seen but 1 or 2 that mention God and what He says about sex before marriage. God says that sex before marriage is fornication and fornication is an abomination.. I think if people would just get back to God's word and what He says about things like this then the world wouldn't be in the shape its in now. Not only when it comes to premarital sex but everything else too. If you really love someone and they really love you then both of you should be willing to wait for each other.

    You mean the God who hates gays, thinks it's ok that priests diddle boys, the God who will smote people just for fun or because they were "bad"?

    Yeah, that's a guy I want to listen to.

    To the OP: If you choose to abstain from sex before you get married then that's your choice and the more power to you.

    I personally would not (and did not).
    [/quote



    Agreed. And the supposed orders of some mythical god have no bearing at all on how I live my life.
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    I think it is crazy to think that if you are not immediately sexually compatible, that all is lost. Throughout a relationship your individual sexual desires and drives will change. In a secure relationship based on love and trust, you should feel free to voice your needs and wants, including sexually. If you partner loves you and places importance on your pleasure, you should be able to grow into a happy, healthy, fulfilling sexual relationship, even if things don't start off wonderful. Communication, trust, and desire to please your partner should ultimately be able to overcome sexual incompatibility issues...even a small penis.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    To each their own.
    I personally wouldn't buy a vehicle without test driving it first, ifyaknowwhatimean.
  • SakuraRose13
    SakuraRose13 Posts: 621 Member
    Well for myself no, I have two daughters oldest was 10 months when my husband and I married and a few weeks later found out I was pregnant with our youngest daughter, of course Id know him for 7 yrs previously we had dated in highschool too I was 18 when we met Im 29 now ,hes my bestfriend always has been, but our story in an exception Id say, its not for everyone in a "perfect ideological world everyone would wait but reality is no. My mother told me what if you find out your not sexually compatible, my father said the same thing oddly, I kept that in mind , you can't go back after you are married and yes sex matters unless you enjoy being frustrated all the time.

    Ill be married 2 yrs, June 25th very happily married I might add, I'm very lucky :)
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
    Also abstinence is the most ridiculous form of contraception, use condoms
    Please educate me. One can get pregnant when abstaining from sex?
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    And besides any moral/religious reasons, also remember that increased number of sexual partners results in increased STD risk. If a woman has 4 sexual partners, she has almost 85% of contracting HPV. Higher number of sexual partners has also been linked to increased risk of prostate cancer. Also, 1.3 million unplanned pregnancies in the united states come from unmarried partners which is more than twice the rate in married couples even though the number of total pregnancies are almost the same.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Also abstinence is the most ridiculous form of contraception, use condoms
    Please educate me. One can get pregnant when abstaining from sex?


    Worked for Mary, allegedly. :)
  • holothuroidea
    holothuroidea Posts: 772 Member
    Also abstinence is the most ridiculous form of contraception, use condoms
    Please educate me. One can get pregnant when abstaining from sex?

    rape.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Also abstinence is the most ridiculous form of contraception, use condoms
    Please educate me. One can get pregnant when abstaining from sex?

    rape.

    :noway:
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I'd take a rainbow-farting unicorn over any god that would create people with sensitive genitals and only expect them to use them for procreation or within marriage. I wish people left the religion out of this.....

    Rumor has it unicorns mate for life. Weird.

    It is impossible to keep religion out of conversations like this.
  • meandmyface
    meandmyface Posts: 328
    Was just about to ask where you got your statistics on the percentage of effectiveness of condoms vs rape, looks like you've edited your post to remove that though, probably for the best.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    I'd take a rainbow-farting unicorn over any god that would create people with sensitive genitals and only expect them to use them for procreation or within marriage. I wish people left the religion out of this.....

    Rumor has it unicorns mate for life. Weird.

    It is impossible to keep religion out of conversations like this.

    I think it's possible to discuss this subject without inserting "because god says" or "the bible says", but some people just like to insert and push their dogma on others because they think that's what they're supposed to do.....maybe it is, but meh.....
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    This thread is taking a turn for the worse, because of course.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
    Yes way. She asked and that's the answer. You can't abstain from being raped.
    I have no words to describe my reaction to this.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I think it's possible to discuss this subject without inserting "because god says" or "the bible says", but some people just like to insert and push their dogma on others because they think that's what they're supposed to do.....maybe it is, but meh.....

    Cutting people out of a conversation because you don't agree with them is not having a discussion. That is just finding consensus for your dogma.

    It always comes down to this. Not because anyone is right or wrong. But because opinions are like...well...ya know.

    Cheers.
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
    I think it's possible to discuss this subject without inserting "because god says" or "the bible says", but some people just like to insert and push their dogma on others because they think that's what they're supposed to do.....maybe it is, but meh.....
    You have to remember that this is a public forum. When you ask a question, especially one based on morality, you'll get replies and opinions from those who believe in God. I don't see anyone on this thread "pushing their dogma" on others. I see well meaning people giving their personal opinions to the question posed by the OP. For some of us, it's just not possible to answer a moral question that is not grounded in our belief in God. But, these are only our opinions based on our personal beliefs.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    I think it's possible to discuss this subject without inserting "because god says" or "the bible says", but some people just like to insert and push their dogma on others because they think that's what they're supposed to do.....maybe it is, but meh.....

    Hence the reason for prefacing a comment with "I believe" not "you all should believe".
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    For some reason I feel like a 20 year old girl who is a virgin by choice should be able to speak her mind on this matter without things getting SO ugly. I mean a little joking, yeah. Not just dragged through the mud ugly like this. This has really gone way too far if you ask me. I know MFP doesn't show our ages anymore but a quick glance at her profile shows her age. She should really be treated more gingerly. Someone having these kinds of views will have a certain mindset and paradigm that shouldn't have some of the responses she's gotten.
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
    Marriage causes abstinence
  • Softrbreeze
    Softrbreeze Posts: 156 Member
    I think that is totally AWESOME and only wish I had had the fortitude to do it that way. One of the most horrible things about our culture today is family instability and that is one way to combat that. Children are much more likely to be sexually promiscuous, engage in drug-seeking behavior, commit suicide, drop out of school, etc when families break apart (Statistics- don't argue). Saving yourself for marriage is no guarantee but it surely ups your odds of having an intact family to nurture your future children. I wish you well!.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    I think that is totally AWESOME and only wish I had had the fortitude to do it that way. One of the most horrible things about our culture today is family instability and that is one way to combat that. Children are much more likely to be sexually promiscuous, engage in drug-seeking behavior, commit suicide, drop out of school, etc when families break apart (Statistics- don't argue). Saving yourself for marriage is no guarantee but it surely ups your odds of having an intact family to nurture your future children. I wish you well!.

    This may come as a shock to some, but I am ^that guy. Was a virgin at marriage, have stayed true to my wife. This despite an obnoxiously high sex drive. So if anyone has the credentials to speak to this, I do.

    First off, I'll say that if I had to do it over again, I'm not sure I would. It's had some major positives, but also a few not insignificant negatives...chief among them that it took awhile for my wife and I to figure out what we were doing. :blushing: But we got it figured out together, and could likely make all of you blush now.

    That said, it was the right choice FOR ME, and I'm not convinced it's right for everyone. I do think there's good things that come of less sex rather than more (how many of you don't have a few encounters you regret, after all?), but that's as far as I'm willing to take it. I made choices, I stuck to them, I turned out happy as a result. But there's many who have done just the opposite, and are just as well adjusted and good for society as I'll ever hope to be.

    Also, I still fight that battle to stay true every single day...it never goes away. Monogamy isn't exactly a magic bullet for curing those urges.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Apparently wanting pleasure with no strings attached is a bad thing. Sex is to be enjoyed ONLY for procreation and ONLY if you have an expensive ring on your finger........

    The logic of this burns my brains something fierce:noway:

    Yeah, I definitely don't get it! I guess I would be burned alive if people knew I have had one night stands and pity sex!!

    Hi :flowerforyou: !
  • TakinSexyBack
    TakinSexyBack Posts: 300 Member
    If you feel that abstinence is the way to go, then by all means DO IT! Don't let your morals get influenced by anyone. If you on the other hand are wondering about it........then that is up to you. You made a comment about people not having sex but then finding themselves unhappy once they "had the goods." (My words, not yours). I would say follow your heart on this one. Don't do or NOT do anything except what your heart tells you you are ready for.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I'll just say this. There is a reason most every form of major religion for millennia has practiced chastity abstinence celibacy and the sacredness of our sexuality. Sometimes to step back and pay homage to our temple our body wether it be maintaining purity, meditating, practicing tantric, or just respecting it is divine.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    To each their own.
    I personally wouldn't buy a vehicle without test driving it first, ifyaknowwhatimean.

    I'm ready for you to test this ride whenever. :blushing:

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