"Asking if I've lost weight isn't a compliment"
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It depends on the context. Some people mean it as a compliment. Others are green with envy. Some people are concerned because they know I have some health issues. Who says it determines my answer.0
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christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
Agreed! I say Merry Christmas. And I send Christmas cards, not "happy holidays"...even to friends who aren't religious or are non-Christian religions...because Christmas is also a secular holiday...not just a religious one. Well adjusted people don't get offended by things like that...they take it as the expression of goodwill it was intended as.0 -
I didn't read the article, but I'm very open about my weightloss journey and where I started.
Also, it's NOT always Christmas for some people, just because you're the majority it's better to be inclusive in holiday celebrations. And have a HAPPY HOLIDAY, whatever that holiday is!0 -
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My parents in-law don't celebrate Christmas, due to their "religion". I still send them a merry Christmas card every year
I refuse to let anyone take it away from me!!0 -
christinev297 wrote: »My parents in-law don't celebrate Christmas, due to their "religion". I still send them a merry Christmas card every year
I refuse to let anyone take it away from me!!
What privilege you must have, to force your holiday on people who don't want it.0 -
I get super uncomfortable if people mention my weight, even if they have good intentions. I prefer nobody say anything.0
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I'm not forcing anything on anyone. All 5 of their kids have issues from their upbringing.. There is a method in my madness0
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christinev297 wrote: »I'm not forcing anything on anyone. All 5 of their kids have issues from their upbringing.. There is a method in my madness
So you just like insulting their belief choices because you think they have a terrible religion or made terrible parenting choices? You can have Christmas, no one is taking that holiday away. But there are other holidays and it's kinder to acknowledge that not everyone has the same culture.0 -
ogmomma2012 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My parents in-law don't celebrate Christmas, due to their "religion". I still send them a merry Christmas card every year
I refuse to let anyone take it away from me!!
What privilege you must have, to force your holiday on people who don't want it.
Do you openly/publicly celebrate the 4th of July or Thanksgiving ? Because there are a lot of indigenous Americans who find those pretty horrific and would rather not have them forced upon them.0 -
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put on your big girl panties and deal with it! Not everyone is coming from a "negative" place, its YOUR filter that needs adjusting
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People too readily confuse "that which offends me" with "that which is ACTUALLY rude."0
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ogmomma2012 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My parents in-law don't celebrate Christmas, due to their "religion". I still send them a merry Christmas card every year
I refuse to let anyone take it away from me!!
What privilege you must have, to force your holiday on people who don't want it.
Do you openly/publicly celebrate the 4th of July or Thanksgiving ? Because there are a lot of indigenous Americans who find those pretty horrific and would rather not have them forced upon them.
I don't send Thanksgiving cards to the Navajo reservations just for no reason. Celebrating is not the same as assuming someone shares the holiday you do and wishing them Merry Christmas. It's the same reason why you don't hear someone wishing Happy Channukah. It's acknowledged that not everyone celebrates.0 -
I take compliments and blessings in any form. Getting upset about someone saying something nice just makeS you seem like a jerk.0
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To get back on topic, maybe there is a line people cross? Maybe the person hasn't shared they are on a weightloss journey and isn't looking to input?0
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ogmomma2012 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »I'm not forcing anything on anyone. All 5 of their kids have issues from their upbringing.. There is a method in my madness
So you just like insulting their belief choices because you think they have a terrible religion or made terrible parenting choices? You can have Christmas, no one is taking that holiday away. But there are other holidays and it's kinder to acknowledge that not everyone has the same culture.
They used to celebrate Christmas , then they stopped, then they went back. Until they finally decided not to celebrate it AGAIN!
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I honestly believe that the sentiments expressed in the article are reflecting modern day attitudes that have changed over time.
I'm 52......I grew up in Australia, back in my younger days, it WAS common practice for every man and his dog to make comments about weight/appearance.....looking hotter/not so hot/have YOU lost weight or the other have you GAINED..... whatever.
It was an expected part of the culture and in the most part never meant to be rude or provocative except of course if you knew my Mother (then the spite was real).
Nowadays we have so much more awareness and organised movements for Body Positivity, Health at Every Size etc etc......which in general is empowering and positive, although I do not believe that obesity can be healthy, despite perfect blood work, Bp's etc etc there is just too much science-based evidence to confirm that obesity will impact negatively upon your life and lifespan. There I have said it - Shoot me down if you want.
I have to agree with Peachy - before we get our panties in a twist over such comments, we should take time to:
Look at the age/generation the person came from.
Are they being genuine or is it a back-handed comment meant to make you feel uncomfortable.
Be aware of cultural influences as well....not all Cultures as as A'hem 'polite' or shy expressing their thoughts.
It could be that you are just looking extra fab in your outfit of the day and weight is the 1st thing that comes to mind.
Or.....maybe they are just socially inept and doing the best they can.
We are ALL so diverse, what someone else craves and would find inspiring (those that have said they were thrilled when someone noticed and commented on their loss) others find insulting and intrusive.
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FWIW, I grew up thinking Happy Holidays was just short hand for Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Given the two are so close together. There was nothing PC about it, no ulterior motive. Now I say whichever pops in my head.0
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WTF happened in here?0
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Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »WTF happened in here?
The usual0 -
It sounds like the author has had some mentally unhealthy relations with weight and now wants to ignore it instead of work through it. That's her choice, and if someone told me they don't want those kind of things said to them, I'd respect that wish.0
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Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »WTF happened in here?
yeah, probably should stop derailing this thread. It shouldn't have turned into a Christmas/religion *kitten* fight. Apologies for that.
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ogmomma2012 wrote: »ogmomma2012 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My parents in-law don't celebrate Christmas, due to their "religion". I still send them a merry Christmas card every year
I refuse to let anyone take it away from me!!
What privilege you must have, to force your holiday on people who don't want it.
Do you openly/publicly celebrate the 4th of July or Thanksgiving ? Because there are a lot of indigenous Americans who find those pretty horrific and would rather not have them forced upon them.
I don't send Thanksgiving cards to the Navajo reservations just for no reason.
You can identify Natives on sight? And they only live on reservations?
Really?Celebrating is not the same as assuming someone shares the holiday you do and wishing them Merry Christmas.
When it's done on the scale of the 4th or Thanksgiving, it's arguably worse.
This has "glass house" all over it....It's the same reason why you don't hear someone wishing Happy Channukah.
That might be true in Arizona. It sure ain't true in other parts of the country.
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christinev297 wrote: »Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »WTF happened in here?
yeah, probably should stop derailing this thread. It shouldn't have turned into a Christmas/religion *kitten* fight. Apologies for that.
LOL I didn't even know who did it - I was just skimming through and was like, "Hmm, yep, fighting as usual but everyone has good points....Ok, Christmas? Wait....religion?"
Pretty funny, actually.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »
I think if people are offended by it then they need to get over themselves as they are the ones who are encouraging all this crap in our lives where no one can say anything to anybody for fear of "offending" someone...even Merry Christmas is scrutinized now...happy holidays my butt.
Grrrrrrrrr the "happy holidays" thing makes my hackles stand up! It's Christmas, and everyone should have a MERRY one
So wait, hearing "happy holidays" offends you? Talk about thin-skinned! "Happy Holidays" started as a way to cover both Christmas and New Year's. Not to be a culturally inclusive phrase (although I'm glad it's transformed into that).
Personally, I take my holiday greetings in whatever form they come in. Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year's, who caaaaaaaaaaaaares. I like Happy Holidays because it takes the guesswork out of it.
As for the article, she got into a facebook debate with her friend's friend? I hate it when people do that! No one wins and the friend in the middle often ends up feeling bad because both her friends are uncivilized.0 -
Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »WTF happened in here?
yeah, probably should stop derailing this thread. It shouldn't have turned into a Christmas/religion *kitten* fight. Apologies for that.
LOL I didn't even know who did it - I was just skimming through and was like, "Hmm, yep, fighting as usual but everyone has good points....Ok, Christmas? Wait....religion?"
Pretty funny, actually.
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ogmomma2012 wrote: »ogmomma2012 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »My parents in-law don't celebrate Christmas, due to their "religion". I still send them a merry Christmas card every year
I refuse to let anyone take it away from me!!
What privilege you must have, to force your holiday on people who don't want it.
Do you openly/publicly celebrate the 4th of July or Thanksgiving ? Because there are a lot of indigenous Americans who find those pretty horrific and would rather not have them forced upon them.
It's the same reason why you don't hear someone wishing Happy Channukah.
https://youtu.be/qUCNAnp2QAI 0 -
So, back to the weight thing. I've lost 60 lbs and worked hard to do so. I love it when people say something. It would be awkward to NOT say something, imo0
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