WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR SEPTEMBER 2015

Katla49

mtown002: You are not an ogre. The kid is pushing your buttons on purpose to see if you'll cave. He's used to getting his own way. You have a big challenge with him and I'd suggest considering what you will do if he fails to comply frequently. You may have to send him away. :flowerforyou:

Pip: Wow! Your x-rays really tell a story. After is much better. I hope you heal quickly.

Michele: I guess your guest wanted and needed to be in charge of his situation. Sorry my advice didn't turn out to be right. :ohwell:

Sylvia: Your DGD has a road ahead of her and healing to do. It will take what time it takes but your love and support will make a difference even if she doesn't say so. :flowerforyou:

Annr: It isn't even chilly in Oregon yet. The breezes and damp are very effective at cooling a person off. You might want to be nude indoors until the weather is better.

Kim: Regarding the holidays, we're in the process of recreating the calendar and life. DD lives too far to visit us unless she flies, and that is very costly, especially now that she has two kids. DS is in the military. He's been here some years and gone others. Last year we celebrated Christmas early with DS and DDIL and they went to her parent's place for the real holiday. I went to DD's house and DH stayed with his sister. We've spent a couple of Christmases alone. I don't enjoy it and neither does DH. DS has suggested the three of us spend Christmas together this year as his wife will want to be with her parents in KY. He wants to travel to some exotic destination. We don't have firm plans in mind. It appears this will be a continuing issue for us. If you think of something brilliant, be sure to share. :ohwell:


Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

September Goals :
1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
5. Eliminate alcohol.
6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.

GodMomKim

Katla - is SF area "exotic" you and DH and DS are more than welcome here!

17761776

GodMomKim wrote: »

Barbie,
sorry that re-read sounds really harsh... I am just hurting so bad, I can't see out - so I am sorry - but I am hoping if I hear others traditions maybe something will sound good to me and I can see a way to make a new list... of what I want.... I just can't find the ladder out of the hurt right now. I don't want to seem mean or unfeeling... sorry!

I hate change!!! Having hard time too, people moving, dying, changing their plans n not including the old. People say have a new adventure, I liked the old. Life changes so guess we have to go with the flow. Always feared being alone, traditional gathering are of the old. This sounds really negative, think I'll go to bed!! Gayle Minneapolis

Annr

@Katla49 I have only been an Oregonian since 2012, and before that I was a displaced Oregonian in California for 21 yrs. I was born in Oregon, but my skin got thin in California! When it gets below 50' I am putting on longsleeves. I do however wear shorts for most of the year. Oh and I am pre-mentalpausal tooo....so Im like my own transportable heater. Nothing like your husband planting his feet firmly on the middle of your back to warm them up!!!

GodMomKim

Gayle - I'm with you! I actually am ready to jump in the flow - but can't find it... I'm telling you alone sucks, one year I made fancy expensive gourmet meals for just me, and that doesn't cut it, one year I cleaned the whole house, washed drapes- hands and knees on the kitchen floor, the buffer on the hardwood, etc... and while I wore off calories and was tired, it wasn't really satisfying either.

You can come here with Katla and her family I have a queen in the master, a double bed futon, and 2 twins in the guest room - Levi and I can sleep in the office. So if everyone likes each other I can sleep 6 on beds!

Kim

Annr

@Katla49 our traditions are quite strange when it comes to Thanksgiving. I take my husband and son to the grocery store, and lovingly point them to the frozen section where they both pick out some Swansons Hungryman Turkey Dinners. You know the kind with the ONE PEA in the cranberry cobbler? On the special day we are thankful for each other, and I turn on the oven and put those babies in. Christmas time we usually have something completely strange for New Years Eve dinner like Chinese food or pizza. Many years we had Christmas celebrations whenever the sons could come home on leave from the Navy. The Navy does not wait for holidays, you have your holidays whenever you can squeeze them in!
Becca
Oregon

GodMomKim

Becca - do you decorate, do the tree and all that? or with the holiday working around the Navy do you just save gifts or not? or? And if no one's home on Christmas day, is that ok with you or ??? Can you tell I am into details LOL

Kim

jmkmomm

Mindy, you did no wrong with those kids. They have to understand who is the boss and their behavior causes repurcussions. I know how you feel about yelling at him and calling him a loser. I did that with Charlie tonight, not those words. Later on that.

Pip, it looks like you have a mechanical bug on your shoulder. One word of advice, and I don't know what you can do about it now. These are public forums and your xray has your hospital number on it. that could lead to some possible identity theft. Doubtful, but possible.

Kim, about holidays. Every family is different. But you must take care of what is right for you. Let your therapist guide you. A holiday is not something you should dread and if you then how you do it needs to be changed. Our famiy thinks it is very important to be together. When our kids first got married and in laws came into the picture then we realized we needed to make a change. Thanksgiving would be at our parents home. But Christmas would be at in laws or where ever you chose it to be. Now the ones who are in town will get together and have a small meal together just because we do feel a little depressed that it seems like every one around us are celebrating. So we have a simple meal and just enjoy each other's company. But December 25 isn't the day Jesus was born. It is a day that some group at some time decided to put down as Christmas day. We celebrate it when it is the most convenient for the family as a whole. When my brother was in the Navy there were many years he couldn't come at alll but we made sure that the box we sent him from the whole family was a celebration in itself. WE let kids decorate the box, there were a lot of fun things in there. My brother and his family knew our love was in that box. One year the submarine they had jsut built in the state of Washington and being transferred to I think Virginia(smart government). The battallion was broke into two groups, I'll say A and B but I think they were something else. Anyway, the A group took the sub down through the canal and up the Atlantic, B group went across land. My brother was in B group!!!!! That was the first time in 5 years he would be able to pass by us. So that is when we had Christmas!!!! Lot's to celebrate that year. My daughter's thought it was so cool. But we have always had it here where we live now. The main reason was because that's where Mom and Dad lived before they died. So it became the family home. My sister and Iive here and both of us have one child here. Our house is the biggest of the 4 homes so we always have it here. It has been nice the last couple of years how my sister and I can pretty much just sit down and watch it all happen. Our kids and nieces and nephews all do it now. So we enjoy the babies. Last year there were over 30 people here and it was to big so with a very heavy heart we know we have to have the dinner somewhere else but the gift giving is to special. It will stilll be here. We all still feel that we need to always remember the true meaning of Christmas and not have the main part of Christmas, gift giving, in a commercial setting. Plus our home has the toys, play areas, nice chairs for older people to relax in and everyone stays around and socializes before everthing breaks up and they all go to thier own hotels. One year before Mom died, we had the whole thing some where else because she couldn't handle my house and as soon as gifts were open, everyone left because of a big arguement that happened and caused some hurt feelings. Mom died shortly after that and everyone remembers that and are so sorry that Mom didn't have a good Christmas that year. So we are planning on having dinner at my sister's church and gift exchange here.

OK, about me blowing up at Charlie. I feel so bad and so selfish. As each day goes on and I realize that fi he were at the rehab, the doctors could have been treating his very low blood pressure, lack of eating and drinking, etc in a better setting. I wouldn't be as tired trying to grocery shop, cook, put it all away uneaten, worry, etc, etc. But I remember so much Charlie insisting on him being discharged and making that his goal and he met that goal pretty well as far as the muscle rehab. But his words, I won't be a burden to you, I promise I won't be. Thgey just resonate in my head. Even afte I tried to explain how tired, exhausted I was and I wasn't ready at all to have him home. And now here he is, blood pressure 80/40 most of the time, very dizzy, hard to walk, not doing at all as well as he was at rehab, diarrhea, having to clean up after him. So I sit at Sams pharmacy today waiting on new drug for him and just got to feeling more and more sorry for myself. So by the time I got home I was in a big pity party. I got in, gave him a pill, asked him if he had eaten since he said he would try to while I was gone. No he hadnt. So I jsut went down stairs and left him alone. ALL evening. When I came up, his blood pressure was good, he ahd eaten a good meal and even that made me mad. Why couldn't he have done that before????? So I jsut told him about all the stuff I was mad at and that how terrible I felt that I should feel like that. I said I felt so selfish. His response to that???? Well you should feel selfish! So now he has gone to bed without saying anything to me and me not saying anything to him. And that makes me feel bad. I see a theme here. I feel bad!

But he did eat some and his blood pressure did go up and I should praise God for that. Maybe tomorrow will go differently.

Joyce, Indiana.

GodMomKim

Joyce, thanks for all the description and the kind words! I feel selfish, now wallowing in my pity party while you are dealing with Charlie, and him being a DH (d not for darling) I know you are glad his blood pressure was better and that he ate, but really to tell you that you should feel selfish You are the most unselfish person!!!! I know you can't ignore him but I want you to know that his view is just one point of view.... and it is NOT my point of view.

Kim

mtowne002

Hi Girls,
Thanks for the support earlier. He did scramble out and mow for over an hour. And when the newly weds came home and heard about my actions they jumped in and Marq weed whacked until it was dark and Summer cleaned the upstairs tub. By the sounds of it w a toothbrush. That girl was scrubbing for well over an hour. It wasn't spiffy but seriously I would've had that baby sparkling in about fifteen minutes. They told me she is a little OCD about cleaning and that's a plus for me. Go Summer! (Yup that's her name and she is stunning). Joey never did come up to apologize for his laziness and I'm. To sure I'm going to demand it as I crossed the line calling him a loser. Loudly. Ugg and as far as the work thing goes...pride cometh before a fall. I just hope when she talks to me I don't cry cuz I tend to and it is very embarrassing and unprofessional. I just really want to do well with the opportunity they have given me and I am so acutely disappointed in myself.
To go onward I wish to backtrack for a minute...Dr Katibug...I'm sorry that I landed yet another potential chore in ur lap when u are already doing so much for your sister. I realized after I read it that though I intended it for an FYI for all it came across as a to do lecture. So sorry.
Joyce I think your amazing. But getting a little help sounds like good advice to me. Lisa your situation and what your dealing with puts my situation in perspective. It will help me even though I am horribly mortified to know that you continue to go in to this ugly situation and handle things to the best of your ability and with grace than maybe I can too. Pip. When I had my right elbow reconstructed..I had shattered it falling while out for a walk, I came home to two babies, one and a half and six months...it sounds like you might be doing to much perhaps bc your on pain meds and can't hear your body's pain? I did that the first couple of days and realized I had to downgrade to Advil Cuz I was to itchy britches to let things wait to get done until perhaps someone could come do them. The pain kept me from doing to much too fast which I think ultimately healed me faster. Anyway you mystify me with your resilience. About the ED thing and counting calories...I think the counsellors might be concerned that an obsession with eating very little (anorexia) or excersize bulimia might develop? JanetR. Good luck with your knee...very motivational story. The pic of you on the mountain stirred the call of the wilderness in me. That at the moment I can't answer. Out of college I hiked just under two thousand miles of the Appalachian Trail. I was in the woods for four months but broke my foot at the border of NH and Maine and never went back to finish ay Katadin. Has anyone seen Wild w Reese Witherspoon. Or read A Walk In The Woods by Bill Bryson? The latter just came out in the theaters on the east coast. Holidays are complicated but it's not too early to start planning thanks for the nudge Kim.
Good Night All
MindyHi

exermom wrote: »

Did an hour of incline intervals on the treadmill today. Then had a Newcomer board meeting. The magnetron on our microwave died so the service guy is coming today to measure for a new microwave. You have no idea how many times I've gone to use the microwave and then reminded myself "oh, that's right, I don't have a microwave.

The plan for tomorrow is to do an Ultimate Weight Training and cardio DVD. Afterwards, I need to go get my blood tested (routine stuff). Unfortunately, it's a fasting blood test. I know that I'll be starving by the time I get home. Then tomorrow later in the morning I volunteer at the Green Room. Afterwards I'll go to the farmer's market (this is the last time they'll be there) and then stop at Target to get one more container of litter on sale plus I have a $5 store credit and a $2 coupon

Gayle - I don't have an ED so I find your posts so very fascinating, things I would never have thought of

janetr - ((((HUGS)))))]

Glo - I'm sure you gave pip the idea of using the Airstream if she didn't have it already. I certainly can see her doing that. I know that I would. Do hope the wellness coordinator gets back to you soon.

Welcome everyone new. Glad to have ya with us

Brenda - sounds like great goals

TerriRichard - I'm sure your physio has taken care of this, but if you're working out on your own, you do need to give your muscles 24 - 48 hours to rebuild themselves.

Lisa - oh no! Wish your other crew chief had at least let you know that she wasn't going to come in. Great that you can look on the bright side. Congrats on the weight loss.

terri - I would have scarfed up that tofu in no time at all. I freeze it all the time. Yes, it does change the texture a bit. So instead of the firm I would probably have gotten the extra firm. But you didn't know that it could be frozen. Do hope it's still on sale next week.

Heather - I don't think counting calories equals an ED. Maybe a bit of an obsession, but certainly not an ED

mia - I park further alway from the store not so that I can get my steps in but so that it lessens the chance that another vehicle/shopping cart will make a dent/scratch in my car. I didn't do this and after having my car for about 5 years I had to pay something like $2,000 to get all the dings taken out. So for $2,000, I can walk a little bit. Of course, Jessica thinks I'm crazy for not parking as close as possible. Just read DJ's response that everyplace in NO is air conditioned. It's the same way in FL when we go down there. Silly as this may sound, I always take a sweater with me. I'm not sure if it's going from the warm outside to the cold inside that makes it feel colder or if they, in fact, keep it cooler, but I always have a sweater with me.

DJ - once we went to dinner with Denise and Pete and it was so cold that I asked the waitress to turn down the a/c. She said that even she was cold. By the time we left, they had turned down the a/c

pip - so excited for you. Check in is at 6:30 -- you'll probably be there 5:30. Be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. So sorry you won't be able to watch the surgery, I know you would have loved to

Heather - giving gd cake decorating tips, are we?

Need to read fast thru the posts, get dinner ready, then eat early since we have ceramics tonight. Boy, Vince is really into it

katla - when Vince had the ablation, he just had a twilight anesthesia but he could see all the monitors for his heart. He said on one side of the room there were like 9 and on the other side another few. He found it interesting, but he did tell them "now listen here, before this operation starts, I don't want to hear the word 'oops' at all

One of the nice things about living in NC is that we do have a change of season but the winters aren't nearly as bad as in PA. If it snows, it's usually gone by midday

Mary from MN - you're welcome in NC

Yvonne - Vince absolutely loves cargo pants/shorts. He says that they're the best invention. I just prefer something more form fitting. I double Vince will ever give them up, either

I agree that there's no distinction between need and want when you go shopping. Or if something is on a great sale -- you just may need/want it one day.....

karen - the more you lose, the colder you get. Barbie can tell you, she's perpetually cold.

drkatiebug - how nice of you to be cooking and freezing food for your sister to have when you aren't there.

Michele in NC

janetr7476

Kim - I put a Christmas tree in every room of the house, including kitchen and bathrooms. I LOVE Christmas. Last year I had 19 people. My oldest daughter and her two youngest were here, Jack's three kids and some of the grandkids, my next door neighbors. (Thanksgiving we had 23) Jack and I have spent a few holidays with just the two of us. I don't like it. I'm from a large family and love a large crowd. Jack's kids tend to "get mad" and sometimes stay away for a year or two at a time. Right now they are "mad" at their mom and so are seeing us. Go figure. I just go with the flow. But I decorate and cook even if it is only Jack and I. When I was single I either went to one of my girl's home and the other one would come there too, or I'd go to a sister's house. I'm sorry you are alone. I know how hard that is. (((Hugs)))

Janetr OKC

TerriRichardson112

terri_mom wrote: »

Pip - Gentle Hugs Take the pain meds on time, and let Kirby spoil you.

This is crucial. Don't wait, pre-empt the pain. Great X-Rays!

Janetr You will do great. And you have an idea what to expect, which helps, I think.

Mindy You did good! Followed thru'.
Don't worry too much about losing your cool. Sometimes that can shock them enough to give them pause for thought.

With so many youngsters under your care, you need those boundaries.

Your work are probably just following procedures with the interview with the boss. Just apologise, explain what happened and tell him what you are doing to make sure it doesn't recur.

No more time will drop back later.

Irish Terri

CynthiaT60

Hi, will post again later, but Pip: thanks for the compliment, glad you're back, and just a suggestion: maybe crop your X-ray photo so your personal info is not visible? Anybody on the internet can read these posts; your DOB is on there etc.

You're in great shape, so I hope you will have a speedy recovery! :flowerforyou:

Cynthia :flowerforyou:

Lagopus

Mary – Oh! Sumacs! Thanks! :sad:

Sylvia, you mention using sumacs as ornamentals. Well in Europe they do! I know the exact location of several sumac trees in and around Stockholm. They are almost the only sumacs I get to see nowadays. Fortunately, one of them is right near my son's house. On a more serious note, I hope your granddaughter's situation improves with support from you and the counsellors at school.

Alison, sorry about your friend. (((Hugs))) The moment you mentioned you might enjoy working with old people, I thought: "What a great idea!"

Linda - It must be sad sending off your kittens. I still remember my father cuddling one of our kittens before handing it over to its new owner. "Have a nice life," he said.
Your line about using a cold as an excuse not to exercise made me pause because I've stayed indoors with a cold for several days. I had to think whether I was using it as an excuse or not. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not, but it was good to be forced to consider the possibility.
Actually, I called my husband this morning to tell him to bring the oranges from the fruit bowl. (He was at the apartment in town this morning but will be coming out to the island this evening.) So I called him and told him what I wanted... There was a long pause, then he said: "I think you've dialed the wrong number." My throat is so inflamed he didn't recognize my voice! My husband of 37 years! So no, I don't think I'm just using my cold as an excuse.

JanetR - Truly sorry about your ex. What a tough situation for everyone. Strong-minded of him to make his own decision to decline dialysis, but heart-wrenching that he also has to suffer the consequences. (((Hugs)))

Poop - Sorry to hear you're hurting. Hope it heals soon. About pain meds, please do as you're told! And I don't mean just now, when you're hurting, but for as long as the doctor says to take them. This is exactly the point Irish Terri is making. Preempt the pain! Some people hate taking painkillers when they don't feel any pain. But one reason doctors prescribe them is to prevent acute pain from turning into chronic pain.

Oh Mindy, so sorry for your bad day! I hope it all sorts itself out in the end. You have every right to set the rules in your own house. If the kids don't like them, they can stuff it. Hopefully they'll check out the alternative and decide that following the rules and staying with you is their best option. Just don't expect them to be grateful (at least not for another couple decades).

Kim - We spend holidays all over the place, in different constellations every time. Since my husband and I originally come from different countries (hence different holiday traditions) and are pretty laid back, we generally go with the flow. Last year we celebrated Christmas in early December, because that's when we happened to be with my family. Sometimes we celebrate Swedish holidays even though we live in Norway. I'll occasionally toss in a Thanksgiving simply because I happen to get hold of a turkey.

But I see from your response to Barbie that moving holidays isn't for you. Many of the people in my arctic town are single or live far from their families – or both. As a continuation of a tradition from the mining era, the hotels organize Christmas buffets so nobody has to sit at home alone. There's a bit of music and some games, and Santa stops by with his big bag. These events have become so popular that they now attract families too. Is there anything similar near you?

Joyce - Your patience and resilience amaze me. If I had done as much for anyone as you have done for Charlie, and he told me I should feel selfish, I'd probably bop him a sharp one over the noggin. Coddle yourself some, because you deserve it! And yes, you DO need (and deserve) some help. Having couple hours off once in a while will help keep you sane.
/Penny, currently not particularly close to the

grandmallie

morning ladies~
Kim~ I dont know your financial situation or your work situation,but maybe check into traveling somewhere at Thanksgiving or Christmas time.. for the past 6-7 yrs we have gone to Florida for Christmas, before that we had family here for Christmas Eve. Christmas Day at the park we are in there is a pot luck dinner .. we make something to feed about 8 people and it is wonderful.. last year we sat with our neighbors, and unfortunatly Auggie passed away earlier this year.. so we remember him and and enjoying his company.
Joyce~so sorry that you are having such troubles with Charlie.. is there anyway you could get visiting nurses or some type of help..
here Connecticut we have something called Connecticut community care for the elderly.. it is a service that helps with everything.. check it out where your are.. they did a 2 hour eval for my DFIL of course I was doing all this, but it helped tremendously . they go by your income,and he had over 2,000 a month coming in. they took a very small percentage of this and he got a ton of services.. adult day care daily with a hot meal ,shower and activities ,transportation back and forth, a life alert ,and companion and homemaker when needed. It was a God Send..
every state has something like that. I think it might be a benefit for both of you...

cityjaneLondon

Joyce - Please get some help. Either paid or ask people at your church. You cannot do all of this. You are a saint. Love you.

Kim - I feel your pain. Holidays have always sent me into a tizzy. When I was on my own it was super difficult. One year I asked to volunteer, but they had more than enough people. :noway: One year I went on a wonderful escorted tour in Jordan called "Christmas at Petra", but I understand money is a problem.
Even now I need to know by September exactly what I'm doing. My DDIL is very good at understanding this. Two years running I have had the actual day just with DH with visitors on either side. Felt a little weird, but ok. My brother would have had us over, but it's too hectic for me over there.
The first year we were married we went to Morocco for Christmas. That was good as it's just a normal day for them.
What about your godson? Could you see him? Travelling in Britain is awful at Christmas with no trains, tubes etc. Have to drive.
I would honestly prefer go go away for Christmas - somewhere where they don't celebrate it. This year we are up in London with the grandchildren for just Christmas Day and that night. Enough I think. I can only take so much socializing and don't sleep well. Yuk to enforced jollity. DDIL 's parents will also be there, who are perfectly nice, but not my chosen companions.
DH likes to spend it with his sister, but we haven't done that in a while because her arrangements have changed with the birth of a grandchild. We get together some time around the date.
Altogether I hate fixed holidays and much prefer a more spontaneous celebration. Listen to your therapist. Many, many people are in the same position as you. Just remember so many people are forced together in awful sitcom families they can't escape and are hating every minute of it.

Lots of love to all. Heather UK

miriamwithcats

Thinking about all of you with the struggles you are dealing with! What amazes me is that the same women who have terrible struggles are so supportive of others with struggles.

About the drier not drying clothes. The thought about the need to clean out lint buildup was mine too.

About sumacs. They are not used for landscaping because they spread by the root so one sumac turns in to a grove of sumac.

The landlord FINALLY got the paperwork completed yesterday late afternoon. I scanned and emailed it to the housing authority. Unfortunately, due to his confusion and memory issues, some of it is wrong! He got really confused about the chart indicating what utilities the tenant pays. So I will need to get the correct information today. But at least it is turned in. Hoping we can get the inspection done and move in on the first.

miriamwithcats

Kim, in my small town in Iowa, the senior center has a christmas lunch for all the many folks who are alone at christmas. It is well attended. Others in the community who are alone also attend, not just seniors. For years I was alone at christmas. My son's wife insisted on spending all holidays with HER family. I just enjoyed a day of quiet and reading. I had also stopped decorating except for outside lights that are so cheery at night (I use them until spring!). But for the last two years I have had to decorate, make a fancy meal, do presents, etc. since I got my girls! So maybe you need to take in a couple of kids? LOL

GloworminWA

Lilymay2

My little grandson came to help me with the gardening yesterday. Tonka trucks and loader and grader helped to smooth out the garden and haul carrots . Pulled up some of the annuals that froze the other night - cut off dead perennials... Busy weekend coming up.... lots of yard work at home and at my mom's house. Sunday the kids are coming for pictures in the yard and supper.....oh dear - I will need to clean up my house too!! EEEKKKK!!!!

Take care everyone
Lillian in West Central Saskatchewan