WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2015
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Lisa, I LOVE that photo of you! You are not the first person to tell me that I need to write a book about my life. Often after I gave a presentation I would get people from the audience coming up to say the same thing. I hesitate for several reasons. The first is that my mom and grandfather were severe narcissists. My grandfather wrote and self published numerous memoirs and they just make me cringe- so entirely focused on "me". For instance, the one about his time in the Army during WWI would make one wonder if there ever was a war. Absolutely NO mention of fighting or wounded. He was in the band, and their "other" job was to be stretcher bearers. But all he talks about it musicians he met (especially the famous ones), architecture, cities, and his feelings. The second reason is that memory is such a fluid thing. I remember certain things so much differently from other people in my family. For instance, there was a time when my oldest sister was having a hard time at work with irritable outbursts. She was told by her supervisor to seek counseling. There, she was diagnosed as Bipolar Type 2 (hypomanic episodes, not full blown mania) and advised to start lithium treatment. She has TOTALLY blocked the physician visit from her mind- it did not fit in to her perception of the world. But I totally remember it because it confirmed my independent diagnosis of her (I am a rehab counselor, qualified to diagnose). So members of my family will argue/ get angry/ etc. Another reason is finding the time to focus. And certain memories do bring up PTSD symptoms (nightmares that make me feel weepy the following day).
Lisa, I love what you said about coming to this group throughout the day!
Sylvia, what a great idea for matching fabric for gussets! I never thought of that, but have often wanted to put in gussets so shirts or dresses would fit my massive upper arms. I bought one shirt. I could fit the 2x one so I got the one in red. The only blue one was a 3x so I assumed it would fit. Somehow the sleeves were TIGHTER than the red one. So I have not been able to wear it! But it is short sleeved.
Headed out to my hot tub to work out... great day ladies!0 -
Miriam (and Heather in the UK!) If you can find it at your local library, pick up a book called "The Art of Memoir" by Mary Karr... she talks about exactly the things you mention, family objections, etc., and the nature of truth when writing down memories. The book would be more for you, and for your children, than the rest of your family.
And, having written my own, I can tell you that writing your past burdens can finally lift them in ways I would never have predicted. It let me finally lay down my anger with my abuser--not to forgive him, but to forgive myself. It was a most valuable exercise in moving into the next phase of my life, and the years since I wrote it have turned out to be my most personally and professionally powerful years, as well as the happiest.
Just saying.
Regards,
Lisa0 -
well got everything done, that needed to be done this morning,except walk the dogs and I will do that in a bit..
DFIL was in a great mood, ate all his breakfast.. which is good..
working until 5, then home....0 -
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Lisa, I will look for that book!
I have been able to lessen the impact of the painful episodes in my life by incorporating some of them into my presentations on mental illness, recovery, psychiatric rebab, peer support, etc. I mentioned in a previous comment that you can alleviate many PTSD symptoms by finding a reason or a way they had a positive impact. I have always felt that I had to go through the abusive marriage to become more effective in working with my clients with abuse histories. When I was in college, I had a girlfriend who showed up in class with a black eye from her boyfriend. I was horrified (at that point only having been subjected to emotional/ verbal abuse and severe neglect) and could not understand why she didn't "just leave" him. Having been chosen as a victim by a similar abusive male, and going through the insidious indoctrination that occurs, helped me so much in working with clients. It is not easy to just leave. The abusers brainwash you first, to think that it is all your fault, not theirs. That is long before they raise a hand to you. They learn just how much abuse you will take. They isolate you from family or friends who might point out how wrong their behavior is. They control the money usually. And it is extremely dangerous to leave- that is when women are murdered most often- when he loses control of them! I would never have really KNOWN all that without having been through it. So I was much more effective working with clients.0 -
Sharon in Sunny Alberta: Acid reflux is very painful and also can lead to serious problems. I've been taking medication for in since I was in my 30s. I hope this was an isolated incident & you don't have to endure it too often. :flowerforyou:
Heather: The real-estate sale seems to move forward at the speed of a glacier, and that has to be hideously frustrating. I bet the buyers are frustrated, too. Your comment about retreating into yourself at this time of year made me wonder about seasonal affective disorder. I've had problems with it most of my life and have been told it is common among those with summer birthdays. I have noticed my mood sagging lately. I work hard to combat it as the days get shorter with a combination of lights, exercise, and vitamin D3. They help me. :flowerforyou:
Peach: I took over Thanksgiving when I got married at age 20. Mom was always nervous about cooking big meals. I enjoyed being in charge. Some years later I got the notion of focusing specifically on new world foods, which are foods that originated in the western hemisphere. Most of the traditional Thanksgiving foods qualify. Turkey qualifies. So does a list including corn, potatoes, pumpkins & squash, beans, wild rice, quinoa, cranberries and coffee. There are other yummies, too. Cocoa beans are on this list. Chocolate is a gift to us all from South America. I go off on this tangent with less common New World foods from time to time and enjoy it. People like the food, too.
Lisa: The ranch is beautiful! So are the kids and you.
Yoga today! Yay!!! I need to get a blood test this week to see whether the changes I made in vitamin supplements have reduced the excessive amounts of calcium that showed in my blood test this summer. I'm hoping for a noticeable improvement. I think I'll go in on Wednesday morning. I need to verify what time the lab opens.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison
November Goals :
1. Log every bite and swallow.
2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
3. Have fun every day.
4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
5. Eliminate alcohol.
6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.
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Good morning ladies! I have read everyone's post but have 1 million things to do so not anytime to respond. We prepped for painting all day yesterday. We took off all of the trim boards. And took all the nails out of them. Now I am just finishing up with removing wall plates and taping and covering the kitchen cabinets. The whole ceiling is wooden planks as well as all the walls and the beam in the living and dining area. I will hopefully get the first coat of Bin on to seal the wood because I am allergic to pine. A lot of people like knotty pine wood but I can't breathe well with it. We decided to seal it and paint it and if we do not like it we will remove it next year.
I already did my workout this morning. I did kettle bell swings for 20 minutes.
Have a great day everyone!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
Katla- I had a question about acid reflux. My DS IL is having trouble with high blood pressure. She also has trouble with belching, a heavy feeling in her chest, and pain in her back. She has gone by ambulance to the hospital twice since last Thursday and was driven in on Saturday as well. They can't or don't think there's anything wrong with her heart. Her regular physician thinks it is acid reflux and has been treated her for that. She is having a stress test done this morning. Have you experienced any of the above symptoms?
Mary from Minnesota0 -
I am honored and blessed to be part of this community.
Barbie perfectly expressed what I am feeling about this group. I didn't post over this weekend and am several pages behind in reading, but I wanted to pause and affirm how fortunate I feel that I found this group of ladies.
Mia in MI
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Miriam I understand what you mean. Right now if I dwell on the health issues my family faces I can get what I believe is the beginning of an asthmatic attack, so I am being careful about talking too much about it and I find ways to give myself space. I understand why others have caring bridge websites. It sounds like you have found your own way to deal with your traumas in productive ways that help others. Your sharing has helped me for example. I think if you relive traumatic events in a way that helps others or as Lisa said can reframe the issue for you it is helpful. You are the best judge of what works for you and I respect you for it. Margaret 0
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I'VE EXCHANGED! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
Completion Friday. I have just rung the clearance company and they are coming on Thursday.
This is wonderful news for me!
Love to all!
Heather UK
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Well, my ticket buying adventure didn't go so well. Tickets were supposed to go on sale at 8:30. I got there at 8:00 but didn't realize that every human being in the four-state region would be there in line to buy them. There were at least 300 people in front of me and another 300 behind me. Each person was limited to 6 tickets and the venue holds 1200. So, you can guess what happened. I got about halfway down the line after waiting about a hour and 25 minutes when somebody came out and said they were sold out. My poor sweetie missed out on his only chance to see Bill Clinton speak. I should have been there at 6am like the ones in the front of the line. They brought their folding chairs and thermoses and settled in for the long haul. Oh well, we saved a hundred dollars!
I went to the hospital here in town to get my medical records, and this afternoon have to go to Joplin to get the records over there. Tomorrow at 10:00 is my appointment with the gastro doc at KU Med Center, so I have to leave really early in the morning. Can't even take the kids to school. While I'm there I'm going shopping. Trader Joes, Ikea and Costco are on my list. My friend loaned me her Costco card. I hope they let me use it. I've never been to Costco but heard it's good.
Now I have got to buckle down and work on a postcard and poster for our potters group show that's coming up. Somehow that always gets put off till the last minute. But could somebody else do it? NO! Even when I asked for somebody else to do it they all say, but you do such a good job! Grrrrrr. It takes so long to do. Every potter is supposed to send me a picture of his or her pottery to use on the card and so far THREE have done it. Out of 28 potters. Double GRRRRRRR! So, it's down to the wire now.
Have a great day everybody!
Sylvia0 -
Sylvia, sometimes Costco will let someone in as a guest, to give it a "test drive". goodluck getting artists to get things in on time and correctly! That "but you do such a good job!" is an often used manipulation for others to get out of work, I have stopped falling for that one after being burned too many times! Love reading the many posts, haven't been able to respond, but knowing we are in this together is helping and drum roll please..............I am off the b.p. medicine..........as long as I keep reporting my pressure from my home machine to the doc for about a month straight WEEEEEEEE
Feels real good, and I am going to stay motivated if you all have anything to do about it!
T-day is all about the side dishes and I am really amping up my veggie recipes, brussel sprouts with shallots and pear, sweet potato casserole without the marshmallows, and roasted rainbow carrots are the start, only going to use the Breast of the turkey, since nobody is a real big fan of it. I will roast some chickens on the grill, that was a big hit last year. I always have the guests bring deserts and wine, just makes things easier.
I have off this coming Wednesday and will try to get a punchlist going to check that I am well prepared for my favorite holiday.
Karen from NY0 -
Heather - I am so excited for you! Congratulations!
Sylvia - I am so sorry to hear about you not being able to get those tickets for your DH.
Just taking a little break!
Mary from Minnesota0 -
Oh my goodness! I haven't been on since October and I'm behind 2500 posts since then! This is a chatty group and I'm a slacker!!!
Well, I didn't meet one single October goal. So, I am going to approach November differently and only have a few key goals. Here goes...
In November, I will:
* Lose 5 lbs
* Significantly decrease sugar intake
* Establish a routine exercise plan
* Journal every day
* Check in with my MFP groups every day for inspiration and so I don't get 2500 posts behind again!
My daughter has agreed to work with me on my weight loss journey and be my Wellness Coach. It's what she does for a living, but up to this point we haven't wanted to do this because she doesn't want to have to scold me I think. Ha! Anyway, we started last week, and I am down 1 lb. I know it's not much but I've been steadily going up 1 lb a week for about a month now so at least it's in the right direction.
I hope you are all having a great day! I'll try to read and catch up later so I can respond to some of you.
Love this group and missed you all!
Tracie in Green Bay0 -
Dr. Katie, thanks for your organizing advise. I mostly sell vintage costume jewelry and what you see in the pic is just a part of it. The upstairs bonus room has shelves that I originally used to store but I got lazy and brought a lot down to the office. The large box of handbags were some that belonged to my mom and "may" be sold online if I get around to it. I have already donated at least a dozen 30 gal. bags of her clothes to the thrift (she loved clothes). Now I have some very nice and expensive coats that no one in the family can wear and will probably end up donating. I just need to get off my lazy behind and organize. Sadly, I'm one of those who can clean everything up so it looks great and within hours it is a mess again. If any of you love vintage jewelry message me and I will send you my ID.
Rain, rain, and more rain here. Think it's going to clear up toward the end of the week.
Carol/Peach
Are you one sty??? Love vintage jewelry, looking for Miriam Haskell pieces, do u have any??? Gayle Minneapolis0 -
Happy Monday ! ! !
Miriam – Nice points about the Holidays. My Dad is flying to Arizona to spend time with my middle sister’s kids Dec. 12 – 20. This is JUST before all the price increases in flights, rental cars, and Hotels (well, maybe an increase coming home, but I try not to ask him about all the details). I’m trying to help my DD “survive” her latest depression that began a few days ago. If she lets me, I’m going to make a “tool box” like you mentioned. I tried a gratitude text, but she’s struggling to choose anything right now, so I’m just sending back to her the things she texted me last week. I struggle tolerating this about her, so having a tool box of my own is helpful. Thank you to EVERYONE who helped me see and find this option ! ! ! // Hugs for you and your son regarding your previous Golden. The whole thought of that sends me into tears ! ! !
Pip – You are really getting life organized. Congrats ! Kirby’s temporary room looks comfortable. You are both so good to each other. And you are so lucky to have nice friends/neighbors ! ! !
Glo – So sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I hope everything settles in for you soon. Hugs ! ! ! // I’m with you, I hate packing. Whenever I do so, I keep questioning : Will I need to use this again before the actual move? So people come on moving day and I’m never done. One time I had to open a box to get my work shoes, because my Dad was so mad at me for not completing the packing process. I just can’t do it. I wish you calm, energy, and organization. (try to channel katiebug and barbiecat)
Allison – Congrats on your wonderful day, from the massage to dinner to the aromatic soak. I’m envious ! // You go on those trips, without any guilt. That’s part of taking care of yourself. Enjoy to the maz !
Connie – Babysteps are good. I rarely exercise more than 15 minutes at a time, and try to do that a few times during the day. I am currently on a plateau, so I am not recording my exercise so I do not eat back the calories earned. Hugs !
Grits – I wish you were closer, because I could patch that knitted blanket with the hole. It wouldn’t be perfect, and it would be crochet, but it can be done. To keep it from getting worse you can do a blanket or whip stitch into the loops and/or threads. It’s such a shame to not use or display such works of art.
Sylvia – Your dream of James Earl Jones made me laugh. It sounds like it would have been wonderful. How nice of you to forge the tiles ! Hugs for your chest pain, and hoping that it never comes back ! ! !
DJ – Beautiful. I also like the shirt under the blazer.
Rori – admiring your pj day. Good for you getting in at least a little exercise. When we have auto-immune diseases we sometimes have to fight our bodies cues, and sometimes we just have to listen. Hugs ! ! !
Lillian – The hat? I had no idea. Thanks for sharing and educating.
Janetr – I hope you are feeling better quickly ! ! !
Heather – although the transgression is different, I hated having “that talk” with the lady that used to be my best friend. It was terribly traumatic for me at the time, but I was able to maintain a friendship (through Facebook) with her husband. Hugs and Prayers for this situation.
Although I am aware that is not the best choice, my DH has made a baby step in the right direction. He now packs a granola bar for when his blood sugar plummets. Before he would either suffer, or drink a HUGE Pepsi, or eat numerous burgers (like 3-4). This way he is a little less hungry when healthier food is available, and he only eats twice what a “normal” person would, instead of 5 times more.
Another good donation item for Mental Health Facilities is Magazines. We have someone who stops in a few times a month to take them. Not only do they read them, but they cut them up for art projects, too. Recycling at it’s best!
DS had a pretty good bowling weekend, but no work, so no spending cash. Saturday at league he has a 596 series, and after the first ½ of Sunday’s tournament he had a 616. Unfortunately, his “pro” only had a 633 and his partner only had a 430, so that seeded them 36th going into the second round which was Baker. All 3 of them bowled pretty good for the first Baker game for a 215, but then in the next one, they left 2 opens in a row twice in that game, for a 150. We didn’t even wait to hear who was moving on to the top 24 because we knew it wouldn’t be “our” team. That’s okay, because they boys enjoyed meeting and bowling with their Hall of Famer, and DS will talk to him now when they bowl together in the Wednesday Sport league. Every tournament is meant to be a positive experience. The youngest daughter of the bowling alley where DS bowled a few years ago had an AMAZING day. Her series score after the first 3 regular games was 737 ! ! ! I think she is in 6th or 7th grade, and bowling is her second sport; dance is her first. I’m going crazy waiting for them to post the results on the Internet, so see if she and her partner won the tournament !
Finally up to paage 19. Sorry if I missed anyone, but such is the life when multi-tasking at work.
Hugs to Everyone ! ! !
Terri in Milwaukee0 -
Gayle, I have a Miriam Haskell piece that unfortunately got damaged. It is a five strand green glass beads short necklace. One of the strings broke when I was wearing it and the beads scattered all over the road so I could not retrieve them. It is still wearable, but not valuable any more. This piece was my mom's but I collected and wore vintage jewelry exclusively during my entire career. Now that I am not working, and living in small town Iowa, I rarely wear any jewelry. But I do love it and love looking at it. I have some victorian items too. A pair of red baklite dangling earrings ( I did have to modify these to wear). So much fun and so much history.0
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Miriam -miriamwithcats wrote: »Gayle, and all others. If you decide to clean out crafting supplies, a good place to donate them would be to your local mental health center for their clients. People living on disability income do not have money to spend on hobbies or recreation (even bringing a dish to a pot luck is often beyond their budget). Yet most people with mental illnesses are normal, or if they are bipolar way above normal, intelligence. And they want to be doing something productive with their time. So unused needlepoint kits, fabric for quilting, left over quilt batting, etc. will be snatched up by folks.
Thank you for that suggestion. I have been dreading my second round of decluttering because I have several boxes of craft supplies that I know I will never use, but didn't want to just throw all of it away. If I know it can be put to use by someone else it is easier for me to let it go to a new home.
Mia in MI0 -
Sharon – 20 outfits from one person is showing off in my book too… but that happened at the last shower I was at too… I don’t plan out dinners in advance either really, but I do like to do something that will be 2-3 days and then on day 3 I do something else and usually do meal A on day 1 and 2 meal B on day 3 than meal A on day 4 Meal B on day 5 and Meal C on day 6…. Any way it means I don’t have to eat the same thing more than 2 days in a row… I get bored!!!
Lisa – great picture! So fun
Miriam – I agree with Lisa about you writing a book, but I hear you on the issues of other books by family, I am thinking that 2 things could help that 1 – someone you trust as an editor and 2 think about historical fiction it is truth with the edges filled in, could you do a memoir as a historical fiction (NOT that you are that old!!- but in that style where each memory is filled in to make a story but not verbatim?
Sylvia - Heads up on the Costco event - If you do not have the card in your name you’ll probably get in they just glance, but you will have to pay with CASH, not credit, debit, or check and even then they do look a bit more closely so it may or may not work. As with any thing but cash the names on the Costco card and the other payment type have to match – I had a friend get married and a huge hassle until she got the name on her card changed. Now maybe that is just my Costco and others are more relaxed…
Heather – CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Karen – NY – Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great NSV
Tracie – 1 lb a week is EXCELLENT
November Goals -
Attend yoga each wednesday evening
Walk everyday –would like to see 160 miles
continue counseling and hold my weight where it is as I deal with my current set of emotional issues
weekly fun things
W1 – football – we won! Working on craft show crafts
W2-
W3-
W4
Kim from N. California
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