Was this an out of line question?
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RiseHigher wrote: »I am sorry but I see a lot of excuses and blaming everything on something (TOM, SAD etc). You are a grown up. Take responsibilities for your actions and stop finding excuses.
Pbbbfffft. Do I look like I make excuses. Nope. I gain water weight with my TOM. I gain weight when I get hungry with SAD. Not blaming it just it what it is. I'm 5 or so lbs over where I was. Not 50 or 100. LOL. You can go flame another thread now, bye....rainbowbow wrote: »I just want to know if it's normal to leave an open jar of jam at room temperature all day and then store it in the pantry.
No. Ick
Fine. Any other opinions on the storage of jam - feel free to take it up with my Mom then... happy? Haha. Bye!
Yes. Those are all excuses.
Definitely excuses.
By the way, you might want to be careful about referring to SAD as a serious illness. It's pretty offensive to those of us who actually have life-threatening illnesses.
I had years of fighting SAD--I would call it a minor challenge rather than a serious illness.
Is your body fat measure coming from your scale? It seems inaccurate. You might want to consider a BodPod or other more scientific measurement.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »RiseHigher wrote: »I am sorry but I see a lot of excuses and blaming everything on something (TOM, SAD etc). You are a grown up. Take responsibilities for your actions and stop finding excuses.
Pbbbfffft. Do I look like I make excuses. Nope. I gain water weight with my TOM. I gain weight when I get hungry with SAD. Not blaming it just it what it is. I'm 5 or so lbs over where I was. Not 50 or 100. LOL. You can go flame another thread now, bye....rainbowbow wrote: »I just want to know if it's normal to leave an open jar of jam at room temperature all day and then store it in the pantry.
No. Ick
Fine. Any other opinions on the storage of jam - feel free to take it up with my Mom then... happy? Haha. Bye!
Yes. Those are all excuses.
Definitely excuses.
By the way, you might want to be careful about referring to SAD as a serious illness. It's pretty offensive to those of us who actually have life-threatening illnesses.
I had years of fighting SAD--I would call it a minor challenge rather than a serious illness.
Is your body fat measure coming from your scale? It seems inaccurate. You might want to consider a BodPod or other more scientific measurement.
Extreme cases of SAD can lead to suicide and other issues, so I don't think it is wrong to say it can be serious.
Also, and I am not saying this meanly, but I really don't understand why some believe she is giving an excuse. She knows the reason why her weight went up, and is working towards correcting it, including changing her environment so that she is less tempted.
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RiseHigher wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »I can't believe this many responses and no one bothered to ask what kinds of jam!?
Yes! Orange marmalade, blackberry jam, raspberry jelly, and real Amish apple butter!!! In the fridge there is mint jelly and jalapeño jelly as well! Yum!
Good lord, I now can see why self-control may be an issue here. I'd be taking all the orange marmalade and hiding in a closet.
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I don't think asking the request is out of line, provided that it was approached as a "Would it be okay if..." or some other way of politely asking. However, since it is her home, her reply is the final answer. Although if someone were staying with me and requested this, I'd comply. Even if it is to just put it on the microwave so it is out of sight - but easy enough to get to by anyone who wants it.0
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I have to say, my folks leave everything out on the counter. Seriously, it's like their pantry is on the counter. It drives me daft because I'm someone who puts even the appliances (toaster etc) away when they aren't in use and keeps my counters clear. So I'm stuck with the temptation to tidy it all away.0
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I don't think the question was at all out of line. Most wouldn't have even asked that question in a family members home probably. I wouldn't think twice if my daughter made such a request, I'd probably ask why she didn't just move it without asking!
As for all the judgement being made about something so simple, I do think those are out of line.0 -
azulvioleta6 wrote: »RiseHigher wrote: »I am sorry but I see a lot of excuses and blaming everything on something (TOM, SAD etc). You are a grown up. Take responsibilities for your actions and stop finding excuses.
Pbbbfffft. Do I look like I make excuses. Nope. I gain water weight with my TOM. I gain weight when I get hungry with SAD. Not blaming it just it what it is. I'm 5 or so lbs over where I was. Not 50 or 100. LOL. You can go flame another thread now, bye....rainbowbow wrote: »I just want to know if it's normal to leave an open jar of jam at room temperature all day and then store it in the pantry.
No. Ick
Fine. Any other opinions on the storage of jam - feel free to take it up with my Mom then... happy? Haha. Bye!
Yes. Those are all excuses.
Definitely excuses.
By the way, you might want to be careful about referring to SAD as a serious illness. It's pretty offensive to those of us who actually have life-threatening illnesses.
I had years of fighting SAD--I would call it a minor challenge rather than a serious illness.
Is your body fat measure coming from your scale? It seems inaccurate. You might want to consider a BodPod or other more scientific measurement.
Extreme cases of SAD can lead to suicide and other issues, so I don't think it is wrong to say it can be serious.
Also, and I am not saying this meanly, but I really don't understand why some believe she is giving an excuse. She knows the reason why her weight went up, and is working towards correcting it, including changing her environment so that she is less tempted.
^^^ This! SAD is a form of major depression, which takes lives. Mild cases of SAD are differentially categorized as, "Winter Blues." There's a good book of that name by Dr. Norman Rosenthal, one of the doctors who discovered SAD, that might be of interest to anyone who needs to learn more.
If I knew twenty years ago, before I moved away from this area, what I know now about SAD how severe it can be... how different many aspects of my life would have been. For anyone that says the depression and side effects of SAD are not serious... well that's good it is not - for you. At least I know now, and can play with the cards I've been given... and that, I am doing...
And thank you, yes, moving forward is exactly what I am doing, rather than saying woe is me, I'm the victim, can't do anything about it and just eating/gaining more.
I wake up at 4:30/4:45 AM so I can use the therapeutic light starting at 5/5:15 each day for an hour - as studies have shown the earlier you use it, the more effective it is. Normally I am on the treadmill or exercise bike when I use it after a light breakfast, as again studies have shown that the effect of exercise + light > light alone. After the sun rises, I do my "actual" workout, which in the offseason consists of an 8-16 mile run, always outside in daylight. But daylight isn't so frequent here in the winter... I work from home so actually have purchased a pop-up greenhouse that I work in at times so I can get more sunlight, or I need to go to a cafe with a sunlit window as the place I'm staying doesn't have direct sun aside from a bit in the mornings. In the evenings I use the light (which is a new technology and brighter than ordinary SAD lamps, and set me back almost $500) again for another hour, even when I am tired or don't feel like it. This is in addition to being stricter with my diet than usual, especially with sugars. I also learned techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy and mindful meditation to assist in the process. I was taking supplements until my Vitamin D and B12 levels were found to be too high. I have had to leave town before and head south as it has gotten *that* bad.
If anyone can look at me and think I make excuses about fitness, diet and health - or anything else for that matter - it just makes me laugh. People are often critical toward others on things they are insecure about themselves - so to those people I would just suggest to look at things you feel you are making excuses for in your own life and correct that, rather than trying to point the finger at others.0 -
I find it interesting that you haven't answered any of my comments regarding having an unhealthy view of food. Why is that? I'm not being argumentative in any way, I'm curious. I stated things in a debatable way, but no response?0
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RiseHigher wrote: »azulvioleta6 wrote: »RiseHigher wrote: »I am sorry but I see a lot of excuses and blaming everything on something (TOM, SAD etc). You are a grown up. Take responsibilities for your actions and stop finding excuses.
Pbbbfffft. Do I look like I make excuses. Nope. I gain water weight with my TOM. I gain weight when I get hungry with SAD. Not blaming it just it what it is. I'm 5 or so lbs over where I was. Not 50 or 100. LOL. You can go flame another thread now, bye....rainbowbow wrote: »I just want to know if it's normal to leave an open jar of jam at room temperature all day and then store it in the pantry.
No. Ick
Fine. Any other opinions on the storage of jam - feel free to take it up with my Mom then... happy? Haha. Bye!
Yes. Those are all excuses.
Definitely excuses.
By the way, you might want to be careful about referring to SAD as a serious illness. It's pretty offensive to those of us who actually have life-threatening illnesses.
I had years of fighting SAD--I would call it a minor challenge rather than a serious illness.
Is your body fat measure coming from your scale? It seems inaccurate. You might want to consider a BodPod or other more scientific measurement.
Extreme cases of SAD can lead to suicide and other issues, so I don't think it is wrong to say it can be serious.
Also, and I am not saying this meanly, but I really don't understand why some believe she is giving an excuse. She knows the reason why her weight went up, and is working towards correcting it, including changing her environment so that she is less tempted.
^^^ This! SAD is a form of major depression, which takes lives. Mild cases of SAD are differentially categorized as, "Winter Blues." There's a good book of that name by Dr. Norman Rosenthal, one of the doctors who discovered SAD, that might be of interest to anyone who needs to learn more.
If I knew twenty years ago, before I moved away from this area, what I know now about SAD how severe it can be... how different many aspects of my life would have been. For anyone that says the depression and side effects of SAD are not serious... well that's good it is not - for you. At least I know now, and can play with the cards I've been given... and that, I am doing...
And thank you, yes, moving forward is exactly what I am doing, rather than saying woe is me, I'm the victim, can't do anything about it and just eating/gaining more.
I wake up at 4:30/4:45 AM so I can use the therapeutic light starting at 5/5:15 each day for an hour - as studies have shown the earlier you use it, the more effective it is. Normally I am on the treadmill or exercise bike when I use it after a light breakfast, as again studies have shown that the effect of exercise + light > light alone. After the sun rises, I do my "actual" workout, which in the offseason consists of an 8-16 mile run, always outside in daylight. But daylight isn't so frequent here in the winter... I work from home so actually have purchased a pop-up greenhouse that I work in at times so I can get more sunlight, or I need to go to a cafe with a sunlit window as the place I'm staying doesn't have direct sun aside from a bit in the mornings. In the evenings I use the light (which is a new technology and brighter than ordinary SAD lamps, and set me back almost $500) again for another hour, even when I am tired or don't feel like it. This is in addition to being stricter with my diet than usual, especially with sugars. I also learned techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy and mindful meditation to assist in the process. I was taking supplements until my Vitamin D and B12 levels were found to be too high. I have had to leave town before and head south as it has gotten *that* bad.
If anyone can look at me and think I make excuses about fitness, diet and health - or anything else for that matter - it just makes me laugh. People are often critical toward others on things they are insecure about themselves - so to those people I would just suggest to look at things you feel you are making excuses for in your own life and correct that, rather than trying to point the finger at others.
I am diagnosed bipolar and bulimic and have certainly have had my fair share of serious episodes that have been life threatening (such as suicide attempts that landed me in ICU). I have NEVER used it as an excuse for my weight or eating.0 -
I find it interesting that you haven't answered any of my comments regarding having an unhealthy view of food. Why is that? I'm not being argumentative in any way, I'm curious. I stated things in a debatable way, but no response?
because you come across very negative and somewhat obsessed that she has an eating disorder or body dis-morphia. I believe she stated several times that she is an accomplished marathon runner so her view of food would probably be very different than you or I. Food is fuel, its not just about weight loss in this case. A cheat meal/day will effect someone who is in rigorous training very differently than the average person who is just trying to loose a few extra pounds. She didnt start the post saying she felt fat/ gross etc. She asked a question to get a general poll, if a question she asked her mom was out of line.0 -
@mccindy72 , this thread, for some reason, has over 155 posts now, even though I posted the resolution to it a long time ago and there was no bad feelings about moving the jam. I can't reply to every single post nor do I care to spend my life on MyFitnessPal trying to do so.
And that's all this thread was about MOVING A FEW JARS OF JAM. LMAO. And then all of a sudden I have people saying I am not taking responsibility, making excuses, having an unhealthy view of food and that I have issues that go "beyond the jam"?? WTH? Issues that go "beyond the jam"... sounds like something from the Onion. L M A O !!!! I'm one of the fittest/healthiest people amongst the people I know and probably most Americans and yet I'm this and I'm that?? BAHAHAHAA IF that is the case how do I get in the condition I am? How do I help so many others lose weight? Truly hilarious.
But anyway I am going to stop responding soon. This is getting 'stale'.
As for your inference that I have some sort of unhealthy view of food - we will just agree to disagree. I will not call things like fried Mars bars, chicken fried steak or neon blue cotton candy "healthy". As well as GMO- or hormone-laced products and foods inundated with artificial ingredients and colors ("plastic food" as my Mom and I call them), many of which have been banned in other countries due to their effects on health, but are still allowed here by the "FDA". No, I don't block foods from my diet and I can have what I want in portion controlled sizes, but people have to realize there is a difference in the things they are putting into their bodies. I am 42 and people I know in real life are in disbelief and say I look half my age - well why is that? Remember the old saying, "You are what you eat??"
If you call that unhealthy, then so be it, but at least I know what healthy, nutritious foods are that work for me.0 -
amberlyda1 wrote: »I find it interesting that you haven't answered any of my comments regarding having an unhealthy view of food. Why is that? I'm not being argumentative in any way, I'm curious. I stated things in a debatable way, but no response?
because you come across very negative and somewhat obsessed that she has an eating disorder or body dis-morphia. I believe she stated several times that she is an accomplished marathon runner so her view of food would probably be very different than you or I. Food is fuel, its not just about weight loss in this case. A cheat meal/day will effect someone who is in rigorous training very differently than the average person who is just trying to loose a few extra pounds. She didnt start the post saying she felt fat/ gross etc. She asked a question to get a general poll, if a question she asked her mom was out of line.
Thank you! Yes someone who understands! And thanks to all the other people in this thread who posted helpful, supportive comments. You rock! I'm just going to keep on doing my thing, and if anything this thread has made me appreciate my Mom, and POSITIVE people, even more.
I'm out!0 -
RiseHigher wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »I can't believe this many responses and no one bothered to ask what kinds of jam!?
I feel bad for the biscuits. No one cares about the biscuits. is there a recipe we can have?
Well, I for one love biscuits and jam. My mother, who has been deceased since I was 23, made the best homemade biscuits and strawberry jam. I miss her, and those wonderful treats of hers.
@RiseHigher, this is just an observation, but I dont think this is actually about the biscuits and jam. In your last post you mention a 5 pound weight gain with TOM. That is normal and nothing to worry about, it's just water weight. It seems to me you might actually be afraid of weight gain, which indicates deeper isdues. It takes time to work through these issues.
No, I had a 5 lb weight gain since the SAD snuck up on me this year and now it's approaching my TOM too. I posted that I check my AVERAGE weight over time so I know exactly where it's going and coming from. But it's getting better each day with my light therapy and I've already started losing it, so not a big deal.
Don't really have "deeper" issues more than the next person, my concern is athletic performance and health, over some sort of fear............
And yes one of the reasons I like being in this area and with my Mom is because I appreciate being close to my family a lot more after my Dad died. It makes you realize how short time can be, because when someone is gone, they are really gone............
Thank you for clarfying.
I'm a runner as well, but I don't have SAD. Performance is number one.
Please send some of mom's jam my way.
Oh, and it sounds like you love your mom very much.:)
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No, it s not an inappropriate request if you did it politely. No harm in asking for help if you need it. If you said "mom your cookies are so great that I have a hard time passing them by, and you know I'm trying to stay on top of my health . Can I ask for your support in this?" That would be totally fine in my opinion. It's not really a big deal to move some stuff. (Unless your mom has mobility issues, then yes that's a big deal.)
If you said, "mom you're such a sabotaging jerk for making these damn cookies every day, do you want me to be huge?" That would not be fine in my opinion.
(Extreme that last one, just an eg)
How did you put it to her?
Oh sorry, I didn't read other replies, sounds like it got figured out.0 -
Beyond the Jam would make an awesome band name.0
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
And I'm sure you were really happy that mom rearranged your spices, and were hoping that she'd do it every time she came over, right?
No, dad isn't going to die because his "precious candy" was moved. But you're missing the point. IT'S HIS HOME. Why does anyone, even his kid, have the right to rearrange things.
What would your response be if she said, "My Dad INSISTS that I keep candy in my home for when he comes to visit"? Would it be something like, "It's your home, and if you don't want to keep candy around, you don't have to "?
Hmmmmm.....
I love that you are so annoyed by me moving things around my dads house. A stranger on the internet. While my father thought it was funny and understood why i did it and has started hiding his candy for me so that i am not tempted when I go there because he is very proud of my weigtloss progress and wishes to be supportive.0
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