Was this an out of line question?
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It has little to do with the candy and more to do with the attitude that you have a right to rearrange your dad's things. Why? Because you're his darling little girl?
Let your dad arrange his home the way he wants. Unless....you'd be fine with it if he came into your home and hid things?0 -
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christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
I don't think the question was out of line. I don't know about the Mom getting upset. I'm human and could get upset about anything at any time for any reason. Sorry not sorry.
It's also the Mom's perogative to say no. Now the OP must figure out some other solution
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
And I'm sure you were really happy that mom rearranged your spices, and were hoping that she'd do it every time she came over, right?
No, dad isn't going to die because his "precious candy" was moved. But you're missing the point. IT'S HIS HOME. Why does anyone, even his kid, have the right to rearrange things.
What would your response be if she said, "My Dad INSISTS that I keep candy in my home for when he comes to visit"? Would it be something like, "It's your home, and if you don't want to keep candy around, you don't have to "?
Hmmmmm.....
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OP is in her 40s ...her mother has probably not had to adjust to her living there for a couple of decades
So she's a guest, but family
Guests, like fish, go off after 3 days0 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
And I'm sure you were really happy that mom rearranged your spices, and were hoping that she'd do it every time she came over, right?
No, dad isn't going to die because his "precious candy" was moved. But you're missing the point. IT'S HIS HOME. Why does anyone, even his kid, have the right to rearrange things.
What would your response be if she said, "My Dad INSISTS that I keep candy in my home for when he comes to visit"? Would it be something like, "It's your home, and if you don't want to keep candy around, you don't have to "?
Hmmmmm.....
What are you on about? All the OP did was "ask" if the Mom could move the stuff. Where are all these demands coming from, and even repetitive ones? My Mom didn't even ask and it wasn't a big deal at all. I just couldn't find things for a minute and resolved that. Over all, I was happy she took time out of her life to spend some of it with me. A relative comes to visit and from some of you it's almost like this massive inconvenience. Don't worry, one day we'll all be dead and gone and you can have your candy exactly where you want it
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
And I'm sure you were really happy that mom rearranged your spices, and were hoping that she'd do it every time she came over, right?
No, dad isn't going to die because his "precious candy" was moved. But you're missing the point. IT'S HIS HOME. Why does anyone, even his kid, have the right to rearrange things.
What would your response be if she said, "My Dad INSISTS that I keep candy in my home for when he comes to visit"? Would it be something like, "It's your home, and if you don't want to keep candy around, you don't have to "?
Hmmmmm.....
What are you on about? All the OP did was "ask" if the Mom could move the stuff. Where are all these demands coming from, and even repetitive ones? My Mom didn't even ask and it wasn't a big deal at all. I just couldn't find things for a minute and resolved that. Over all, I was happy she took time out of her life to spend some of it with me. A relative comes to visit and from some of you it's almost like this massive inconvenience. Don't worry, one day we'll all be dead and gone and you can have your candy exactly where you want it
Umm....I'm clearly not referring to the OP here, but to the poster who goes into her dad's house and hides his candy. Cuz, you know. It's her right as his daughter to do that, apparently.
ETA: My mom and I were very close and spent a lot of time together, while I was living at home and after I moved out. Oddly, we were able to spend time together and enjoy each other without rearranging each other's belongings. I guess we hard a weird relationship.0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
Yes, this. Exactly.0 -
booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
And I'm sure you were really happy that mom rearranged your spices, and were hoping that she'd do it every time she came over, right?
No, dad isn't going to die because his "precious candy" was moved. But you're missing the point. IT'S HIS HOME. Why does anyone, even his kid, have the right to rearrange things.
What would your response be if she said, "My Dad INSISTS that I keep candy in my home for when he comes to visit"? Would it be something like, "It's your home, and if you don't want to keep candy around, you don't have to "?
Hmmmmm.....
What are you on about? All the OP did was "ask" if the Mom could move the stuff. Where are all these demands coming from, and even repetitive ones? My Mom didn't even ask and it wasn't a big deal at all. I just couldn't find things for a minute and resolved that. Over all, I was happy she took time out of her life to spend some of it with me. A relative comes to visit and from some of you it's almost like this massive inconvenience. Don't worry, one day we'll all be dead and gone and you can have your candy exactly where you want it
Umm....I'm clearly not referring to the OP here, but to the poster who goes into her dad's house and hides his candy. Cuz, you know. It's her right as his daughter to do that, apparently.
Lol, I move stuff around at my in laws all the time. Every time we go over. They don't make a big deal about it!!!
(because I have a two year old and we'd all love for him not to get cut on broken glass or choke to death on small things)
Yeah. There are acceptable ways to behave in the homes of relatives and then there's hiding candy without a word...0 -
DeguelloTex wrote: »
I don't completely disagree with the self control thing. But, some people do better when they don't have to practice it all the time and can manipulate their environment so that temptation isn't constant. A lot of people do this. OP isn't visiting for a few days. I thought it was an extended stay. I see nothing wrong with asking, as long as it was respectful.
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CoffeeNCardio wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Mom rearranged my spices. I couldn't find a dang thing. Moved 'em back...
You're jumping right for the petulant child angle. That could swing both ways. Is Dad gonna die because his precious candy was moved into a cupboard for a few weeks?
And I'm sure you were really happy that mom rearranged your spices, and were hoping that she'd do it every time she came over, right?
No, dad isn't going to die because his "precious candy" was moved. But you're missing the point. IT'S HIS HOME. Why does anyone, even his kid, have the right to rearrange things.
What would your response be if she said, "My Dad INSISTS that I keep candy in my home for when he comes to visit"? Would it be something like, "It's your home, and if you don't want to keep candy around, you don't have to "?
Hmmmmm.....
What are you on about? All the OP did was "ask" if the Mom could move the stuff. Where are all these demands coming from, and even repetitive ones? My Mom didn't even ask and it wasn't a big deal at all. I just couldn't find things for a minute and resolved that. Over all, I was happy she took time out of her life to spend some of it with me. A relative comes to visit and from some of you it's almost like this massive inconvenience. Don't worry, one day we'll all be dead and gone and you can have your candy exactly where you want it
Umm....I'm clearly not referring to the OP here, but to the poster who goes into her dad's house and hides his candy. Cuz, you know. It's her right as his daughter to do that, apparently.
Lol, I move stuff around at my in laws all the time. Every time we go over. They don't make a big deal about it!!!
(because I have a two year old and we'd all love for him not to get cut on broken glass or choke to death on small things)
Yeah. There are acceptable ways to behave in the homes of relatives and then there's hiding candy without a word...
Haha yup. Honestly booksandchoc, I did think you were referring to the OP as well, since rearranging things was also mentioned. I provided an example of my Mom moving my stuff (without telling me, to be clear) and no cows were had! And if I were to stereotype men for a minute, the Dad probably didn't even notice his candy had been moved. Just a random, possibly ignorant guess!!!
Someone earlier mentioned part of it could be cultural. Another take on this doesn't necessarily have to do with taking offense to things. It's just, when you're used to extended family either living in the same house or visiting for such an extended basis (complete their studies, etc), you're already used to them being a part of your household, and the idea of hey you can have a comfortable room in my house but no this table is off limits - in some cases it does not even compute. And when said person comes back after being away for so long, I'm not saying it's necessarily all rainbows and sunshine, but this sort of thing ain't really that high on the list. All that said, if I could tell I was offending my host with certain behavior, definitely quit it. It's their house. I'm just answering things from the host perspective
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »The issue really isn't, "Jeez, it's just jam; what mother wouldn't move a jar of jam for her daughter".
It's more about how the OP can't control herself around a few jars of jam. How is she going to function outside her mother's home, where the food temptations are myriad and thrown at you often?
The issue is exactly what the OP originally asked about, which was not "How do I function around jam," but "Here's a thing that is affecting me right now, I tried to resolve it and my mother got upset, was I being unreasonable?" We have zero information about how the OP copes with jam, or any other sort of food, outside her mother's house. If her avatar photo is current, I think it's safe to say that she functions as well as anyone else and better than many. She's not obese or even overweight, so the odds seem pretty good that she's not losing control of herself every time she sees food she wants. I think there's a lot of projection going on here on that front.
So yes, when you put it in the context of the original post, it's just jam, and what mother wouldn't move a jar of jam for her daughter? The answer appears to be "The type of mother who invests food with huge amounts of surplus meaning around autonomy and control and all sorts of other things that food should frankly not be associated with."
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I live with both of my grown children and my 72-year-old mother. First rule of survival: lighten UP. Just because your mom wants to leave the jam out doesn't mean she's going to chase you around with a spoonful and shove it down your throat.0
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I don't think the request was out of line, but neither am I surprised at the mother's response. My mother always kept pastries out on the counter. I can guarantee you, if I had asked her to put them elsewhere so I would not be tempted, she would have told me to get over it. In my case, it would be more about mum's expectations of me than inconvenience to her. Perhaps OP's mother is also concerned that her daughter needs to develop the willpower to resist temptation so she can function more comfortably in the outside world.0
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Sorry but if i walk into my dads house and he has candy lying around and i do not want to see it i will stash it and not even tell him i did it till i am getting ready to leave. It is your parent they'll live.
agreed... i also have a very awesome relationship with my mom if she left a cake out and i put it away and said "i cant see the cake il eat it" shed be like cool! and she probably wouldnt even ask if she saw it moved anyway.. man this thread is making me even more appreciative of my amazing giving caring understanding easy going mom. By the way i own a house and would not care if a stranger said please hide the candy. and ALSO everyone saying "self control" if it were that easy then none of us would have ever gotten over weigt thus this site wouldnt exist.0 -
Larissa_NY wrote: »booksandchocolate12 wrote: »The issue really isn't, "Jeez, it's just jam; what mother wouldn't move a jar of jam for her daughter".
It's more about how the OP can't control herself around a few jars of jam. How is she going to function outside her mother's home, where the food temptations are myriad and thrown at you often?
The issue is exactly what the OP originally asked about, which was not "How do I function around jam," but "Here's a thing that is affecting me right now, I tried to resolve it and my mother got upset, was I being unreasonable?" We have zero information about how the OP copes with jam, or any other sort of food, outside her mother's house. If her avatar photo is current, I think it's safe to say that she functions as well as anyone else and better than many. She's not obese or even overweight, so the odds seem pretty good that she's not losing control of herself every time she sees food she wants. I think there's a lot of projection going on here on that front.
So yes, when you put it in the context of the original post, it's just jam, and what mother wouldn't move a jar of jam for her daughter? The answer appears to be "The type of mother who invests food with huge amounts of surplus meaning around autonomy and control and all sorts of other things that food should frankly not be associated with."
In my opinion, there is no projection going on here. If you believe there is, can you please be more specific?0 -
CoffeeNCardio wrote: »If it went down like you said it did, then no I don't think that was out of line. My mother would do it for me. I would do it for my son. Hell, I'd do it for my friends and acquaintances too. But I also believe we're not getting the full story here. Much as I'd love to believe everyone is quirky and nuts like me, the reality is that if your mom was upset, there is probably something else at work.......unless she has some sort of unhealthy obsession with the placement of jam, in which case you got bigger problems girl.
Agreed.0 -
I disagree that this is an issue of will power or self control. I think moving the jam is setting the OP up for success rather than failure.
@RiseHigher - maybe show your mom this article. There's more on this study in Brian Wansink's book "Mindless Eating," which was available from my library system so maybe yours as well.
Want to stay out of the candy jar? Hide it.
Scientists studying candy-jar psychology have confirmed what most of us know instinctively: Out of sight is out of mind.
Secretaries who were given Hershey kisses for Secretary’s Week ate more of them when the jars were clear or on their desks than when the chocolates were in opaque containers or placed a short distance away.
...Secretaries rated candy as more than twice as hard to resist when they could see and reach it than when they could not. They were twice as likely to say that they often thought of the chocolates or that the treats kept grabbing their attention if they were visible and nearby.
Read more: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/9753823/ns/health-fitness/t/want-stay-out-candy-jar-hide-it/#.Vj-A4LerTcs0 -
really the biscuits and jam are not the issue. Your weight gain is.
Can you up your exercise? You do not need to sit under your sad light. You can do sit ups or push ups or have it set up over a stationary bike. You need to be under it but not necessarily stationary. Also adding vitamin D to diet helps with SAD.0 -
Wow! Well I find it interesting all the points of view given here. Thanks for the responses!
So first of all let me clear this up. This morning when my Mom woke up, I asked her directly, "Did I annoy you last night when I asked if we could move the jam to a different location?" She said, "No." I said, "Ok, because you sort of paused and I wasn't sure if it was because you wanted to keep it there." "She said, no, not at all, I only paused because I was thinking of where to move it." I said, "Oh, ok. Normally it would be OK, but right now..." and she just nodded her head knowingly and said, "Yes, I know. It doesn't bother me at all."
She also started talking about a documentary she had been watching that was depressing. So that probably affected her too.
I guess once again it's an example that we can't read other people's thoughts, so it's just better to ask. I really wasn't feeling well last night anyway, which is probably why I jumped to conclusions. But on a positive note it's because last week, I tapered OFF caffeine, and it was my first day fully caffeine-free. My SAD has been improving with my new super bright light (it's brighter than typical therapeutic SAD lights), among other things I have been doing, so I hope this will be the first winter I will be caffeine free!
Now, if interested in "the rest of the story" here it is. I figure that perhaps if some answers weren't all that helpful, it's from those that don't totally understand what is going on or how bad Seasonal Affective Disorder can get. I didn't know, either, until I moved and realized I had it. You could live somewhere sunny for your whole life and have it, yet not show any symptoms because you have ample sunlight. But then you move north/to a location with more clouds/dark winters and then BOOM it shows it's head and you're dealing with it, sometimes unknowingly.
And there are differing degrees of SAD. Some people are only mildly affected by it. Others can become suicidal. Some have only some symptoms such as fatigue and lack of focus, and while for others the carb cravings can get bad and they isolate etc. It's like any other medical issue, no two people are exactly the same. And for those interested, a main proposed cause of SAD is lowered serotonin levels caused by lack of sunlight. Well guess what they suspect causes BED (binge eating disorder) - lowered serotonin levels. It's one reason the drug Fenfluramine (widely knows as fen-phen) was so successful as a weight loss agent before it was pulled due to side effects. It worked on the brain's serotonin system.
Eating processed carbs/simple sugars causes an insulin spike which causes serotonin production in the brain. So when someone with this disorder craves carbs, that is why. It's not a "Wow that looks good I have no self control let me eat a ton of it." It is the body's way of replenishing badly depleted serotonin levels, as with SAD. For even those without SAD, it's one reason that many overeat when they are stressed or bored - these can lower serotonin levels to some degree too.
I say this to clarify the issue of people saying that I have a "lack of control" especially in the "real world". If that is the case, why is this not an issue for me outside of late fall/winter/early spring? As some have noted, if you look at my picture, I am obviously not a person that deals with lack of control over what I eat. LOL. I am actually an athlete moving up to the National level in distance running. I found I went from running over 100 miles a week in summer, to struggling to sometimes exercise at all in winter.
Those are the reasons I mentioned moving. Not a jar of jam. I'm tired of the weight gain/loss cycles I've had to endure since moving. It obviously gets in the way of where I want to be athletically as well as lowering my quality of life.
I moved here to help my Mom after my Dad died. I renovate houses so I wanted her house to be up to par for all her needs before I moved again (to a sunnier location) and she would be alone. That work is almost done. I've actually debated staying as most of my family lives around here, but the SAD makes it tough on me to say the least, as well as lack of opportunity in the area for the new career areas I'm moving into. This is why I have not bought a house locally.
I also wanted something else to support me besides expanding my real estate business (I own rentals) since it is no longer an investor's market. So, I am certifying in mobile app development, as well as becoming a health coach on the side. I was just going to do the latter, but unfortunately it may not pay well at first and I want to be secure in this new career plan before I make another move.
Honestly when I lived in California I didn't get why people just didn't exercise and eat healthy. It's so easy, right? But then I learned there are other factors involved, but that's ok, it just sets me up to better help others.0 -
It's her house she can put food wherever she wants. You have to learn how to control your cravings.0
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Daughter or not, if someone I cared about was trying to make positive change in their life, I would do anything I could to support them. If meant keeping my jam in the fridge, so be it. Sure, there will be temptations abound, and you will have to deal with them, but you should feel comfortable asking people in your support network to support you. If they say no, well, sure a good opportunity to work on will power. But someone in my office is struggling with weight for health reasons (more so than I), and because we care, we make an effort to pick lunch spots with healthy options. Not a hassle, an honor to assist.0
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OP. you finally showed up - looks like there was no big deal between you and your mom over the jam. Problem solved.
But honestly, looking over the rest of your post, you have a lot of work to do. I, along with several other posters (by the nature of their posts), looked at your profile. You have a very nice profile picture showing some nicely defiined abs, and without any stats or measurements, what I'd estimate at about 18-20% body fat.
And yet your ticker says you have 15 pounds to lose. And your original post is this thread has you dreading carbs and such, and worrying about cravings because of your SAD.
There's much here that sends off some warning signals, and you need to be aware of them, not start blaming carbs and insulin spikes and all of that. Biscuits and jam are not your problem. No food is your problem. Learning to control your cravings is your problem. You obviously know how to exercise - you say in your profile that you're a competitive marathoner, and you have quite a nice physique. If you're spending two hours a day with your light, and still working, and helping your mom, and working on what it is your working on while living with your mom, and still running long distance, how are you finding time to eat more than the calories required to sustain all of that activity?
I think you need to sit down and work through some of this with yourself. The cravings and worry over weight gain are stress you are putting on yourself needlessly and you should stop.
And you should probably let yourself enjoy one of your mom's biscuits with some jam.0 -
Yay!RiseHigher wrote: »Wow! Well I find it interesting all the points of view given here. Thanks for the responses!
So first of all let me clear this up. This morning when my Mom woke up, I asked her directly, "Did I annoy you last night when I asked if we could move the jam to a different location?" She said, "No." I said, "Ok, because you sort of paused and I wasn't sure if it was because you wanted to keep it there." "She said, no, not at all, I only paused because I was thinking of where to move it." I said, "Oh, ok. Normally it would be OK, but right now..." and she just nodded her head knowingly and said, "Yes, I know. It doesn't bother me at all."
She also started talking about a documentary she had been watching that was depressing. So that probably affected her too.
I guess once again it's an example that we can't read other people's thoughts, so it's just better to ask. I really wasn't feeling well last night anyway, which is probably why I jumped to conclusions. But on a positive note it's because last week, I tapered OFF caffeine, and it was my first day fully caffeine-free. My SAD has been improving with my new super bright light (it's brighter than typical therapeutic SAD lights), among other things I have been doing, so I hope this will be the first winter I will be caffeine free!
Now, if interested in "the rest of the story" here it is. I figure that perhaps if some answers weren't all that helpful, it's from those that don't totally understand what is going on or how bad Seasonal Affective Disorder can get. I didn't know, either, until I moved and realized I had it. You could live somewhere sunny for your whole life and have it, yet not show any symptoms because you have ample sunlight. But then you move north/to a location with more clouds/dark winters and then BOOM it shows it's head and you're dealing with it, sometimes unknowingly.
And there are differing degrees of SAD. Some people are only mildly affected by it. Others can become suicidal. Some have only some symptoms such as fatigue and lack of focus, and while for others the carb cravings can get bad and they isolate etc. It's like any other medical issue, no two people are exactly the same. And for those interested, a main proposed cause of SAD is lowered serotonin levels caused by lack of sunlight. Well guess what they suspect causes BED (binge eating disorder) - lowered serotonin levels. It's one reason the drug Fenfluramine (widely knows as fen-phen) was so successful as a weight loss agent before it was pulled due to side effects. It worked on the brain's serotonin system.
Eating processed carbs/simple sugars causes an insulin spike which causes serotonin production in the brain. So when someone with this disorder craves carbs, that is why. It's not a "Wow that looks good I have no self control let me eat a ton of it." It is the body's way of replenishing badly depleted serotonin levels, as with SAD. For even those without SAD, it's one reason that many overeat when they are stressed or bored - these can lower serotonin levels to some degree too.
I say this to clarify the issue of people saying that I have a "lack of control" especially in the "real world". If that is the case, why is this not an issue for me outside of late fall/winter/early spring? As some have noted, if you look at my picture, I am obviously not a person that deals with lack of control over what I eat. LOL. I am actually an athlete moving up to the National level in distance running. I found I went from running over 100 miles a week in summer, to struggling to sometimes exercise at all in winter.
Those are the reasons I mentioned moving. Not a jar of jam. I'm tired of the weight gain/loss cycles I've had to endure since moving. It obviously gets in the way of where I want to be athletically as well as lowering my quality of life.
I moved here to help my Mom after my Dad died. I renovate houses so I wanted her house to be up to par for all her needs before I moved again (to a sunnier location) and she would be alone. That work is almost done. I've actually debated staying as most of my family lives around here, but the SAD makes it tough on me to say the least, as well as lack of opportunity in the area for the new career areas I'm moving into. This is why I have not bought a house locally.
I also wanted something else to support me besides expanding my real estate business (I own rentals) since it is no longer an investor's market. So, I am certifying in mobile app development, as well as becoming a health coach on the side. I was just going to do the latter, but unfortunately it may not pay well at first and I want to be secure in this new career plan before I make another move.
Honestly when I lived in California I didn't get why people just didn't exercise and eat healthy. It's so easy, right? But then I learned there are other factors involved, but that's ok, it just sets me up to better help others.
All's well that ends well.
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booksandchocolate12 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »Not to mention, My mums home will always be mine and my brother and sisters. Like someone else mentioned, it's a second home. We're not "guests" when we stay there
My mother's house was a second home for me too.....to a point.
I had a key, I could show up unannounced (even if she wasn't home), let myself in, fix myself something to eat.
But hiding things? Rearranging things? No. The idea that I could make myself at home in my mother's house didn't change the fact that it was my mother's house and she could arrange it and live in it as she saw fit.
I am sooo curious to know how people who feel that it's OK to do that to their parents would react if their parents did it to them. I'm guessing there'd be a lot of "I'm an ADULT. This is MY HOME. You have NO RIGHT".
Well, that goes both ways.
Haha My mum comes and stays with us at weekends regularly, and yes she does like cleaning and rearranging things, and i must admit usually she finds a better system than I had. If i don't like it then I'll eventually move it back. It's no big deal, she's my precious mum and best friend, and I'd be lost without her.0
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