strip club question??...

big007hed

Wife doesn't care as long as she knows, she has gone with me and it is a fun time. Nothing crazy happens we just have some fun admiring the dancers and having some drinks. She wouldn't mind if I got a lap dance with her there but I wouldn't get one without her there.

Outside of a bachelor party I wouldn't go without her. I am ambivalent to strip clubs don't care if I go but if I go with her I have fun.

megabyt23

I wonder how many of the women opposed to their men going out to gawk at sexy women:

1. Belong to the "hot, not, bang, pass" thread
2. Get all dressed up and go out to clubs to dance - knowing you are there to "be seen and ogled" by men

Let's face it, ladies, we WANT to be seen and admired by men just as much as men want to see and ogle women. It's human nature.

I am a little more offended by the MFP threads that ask me to "rate" the person above me, more than the idea of my husband going to a strip club. This place isn't supposed to be a "rate others" website, it's a fitness and health website. I think if you're on THOSE threads, you are there to get attention from others. And if you're one of those people who want people on here to admire you, then it's really hypocritical of you to say that you don't want your spouse ogling others.

Same church, different pew.

I think a lot of the answers on here were hypothetical as not everyone is in a relationship currently. What people do when they're in a relationship is generally different from what they would do when they are single out of respect for their significant other. Even so...I don't understand how some of you guys literally don't understand the difference between seeing attractive people and acknowledging it as opposed to paying someone to be half naked and grinding up on you. If there are couples out there that are both seriously okay with it, that's their prerogative. None of my business, but we all have different boundaries that we feel are appropriate when in a relationship. Doesn't make those who disagree with strip clubs during a relationship hypocrites or wrong.

JustJennie1

1) Lesbian/Closet lesbian
2) She wants to keep an eye on her man
3) She wants to appear to be "one of the guys", which is the brightest shade of pathetic
4) If she's going with her girl friends, it's to make fun of the strippers.

No.

Wow

Yeah gotta disagree with you on those points.

SoDamnHungry

I would not be a fan of that... I wouldn't be angry at him if he went for a bachelor party or something, but lap dances...no.

sam308lbs

So this is what i get from the majority of the reponses so far - Men hate Strip Clubs & Women dont mind their bf/husbands going to the strip club


Welcome to the Matrix

CrazyTrackLady

I wonder how many of the women opposed to their men going out to gawk at sexy women:

1. Belong to the "hot, not, bang, pass" thread
2. Get all dressed up and go out to clubs to dance - knowing you are there to "be seen and ogled" by men

Let's face it, ladies, we WANT to be seen and admired by men just as much as men want to see and ogle women. It's human nature.

I am a little more offended by the MFP threads that ask me to "rate" the person above me, more than the idea of my husband going to a strip club. This place isn't supposed to be a "rate others" website, it's a fitness and health website. I think if you're on THOSE threads, you are there to get attention from others. And if you're one of those people who want people on here to admire you, then it's really hypocritical of you to say that you don't want your spouse ogling others.

Same church, different pew.

I think a lot of the answers on here were hypothetical as not everyone is in a relationship currently. What people do when they're in a relationship is generally different from what they would do when they are single out of respect for their significant other. Even so...I don't understand how some of you guys literally don't understand the difference between seeing attractive people and acknowledging it as opposed to paying someone to be half naked and grinding up on you. If there are couples out there that are both seriously okay with it, that's their prerogative. None of my business, but we all have different boundaries that we feel are appropriate when in a relationship. Doesn't make those who disagree with strip clubs during a relationship hypocrites or wrong.

The problem I have on here about the "bang, pass, date" threads" has everything to do with the whole "judging" issue. People are looking at people's profile pics and making decisions about what they'd "do" to that person solely on how they look. Is this right? No. Fair? No. It's shallow and doesn't help the psyche of anyone who posts on there. And often, these are the SAME people who pull out the "fat/body shaming!" card. If people want the shaming and judging to end, then maybe those threads shouldn't be allowed?

The strip club is a destination point for the SOLE purpose of "adult entertainment". It is there to sell a product. MFP is a health and fitness site. Not a dating site, not a place to sell "adult entertainment" and "adult fantasies". If someone is posting on the "Bang" thread, and complaining about the fact that their man shouldn't be ogling others, that is hypocrisy, plain and simple.

MsEndomorph

I wonder how many of the women opposed to their men going out to gawk at sexy women:

1. Belong to the "hot, not, bang, pass" thread
2. Get all dressed up and go out to clubs to dance - knowing you are there to "be seen and ogled" by men

Let's face it, ladies, we WANT to be seen and admired by men just as much as men want to see and ogle women. It's human nature.

I am a little more offended by the MFP threads that ask me to "rate" the person above me, more than the idea of my husband going to a strip club. This place isn't supposed to be a "rate others" website, it's a fitness and health website. I think if you're on THOSE threads, you are there to get attention from others. And if you're one of those people who want people on here to admire you, then it's really hypocritical of you to say that you don't want your spouse ogling others.

Same church, different pew.

Not to make too fine of a point about it, because I do understand what you're saying, but...

Those are terrible comparisons. The only thing they have in common is that eyes are involved.
Being looked at is not the same thing as looking. Pictures are not the same thing as real life. Lap dances are not the same as online looking. Nudity is not the same thing as clothing. Paying is not the same as free. Men ogling is a choice. In most circumstances, women are ogled without their consent.

I don't think it's hypocritical unless you're a stripper who tells your SO that it's just meaningless fun/work...but you don't let him go to clubs.

The idea that a woman has to defend herself for her standards for fidelity is so sad to me. It reminds me of the 1950s - sure he has someone on the side, but that's just what men DO! Keep quiet and make dinner. Your boss grabbed you on the *kitten*? Well that's just how men act with their secretaries.

I am relatively "free" sexually and my husband and I probably do a lot of things that would make the more conservative set blush, but I would never villainize someone for choosing differently.

alopez2011

totally right, love this post, couldn't have worded it any better.

Greenrun99

whenever I go to strip clubs with girls.. the girls get all the attention and the guys end up paying the tips/lap dance for the girls... As for my girl/SO going to a strip club.. just don't spend more than I would :-)
As for me, when everyone was still single/not married we tried most of the strip clubs in the area... even those questionable ones.. Sometimes the B teams are better than A teams...

CrazyTrackLady

I wonder how many of the women opposed to their men going out to gawk at sexy women:

1. Belong to the "hot, not, bang, pass" thread
2. Get all dressed up and go out to clubs to dance - knowing you are there to "be seen and ogled" by men

Let's face it, ladies, we WANT to be seen and admired by men just as much as men want to see and ogle women. It's human nature.

I am a little more offended by the MFP threads that ask me to "rate" the person above me, more than the idea of my husband going to a strip club. This place isn't supposed to be a "rate others" website, it's a fitness and health website. I think if you're on THOSE threads, you are there to get attention from others. And if you're one of those people who want people on here to admire you, then it's really hypocritical of you to say that you don't want your spouse ogling others.

Same church, different pew.

Not to make too fine of a point about it, because I do understand what you're saying, but...

Those are terrible comparisons. The only thing they have in common is that eyes are involved.
Being looked at is not the same thing as looking. Pictures are not the same thing as real life. Lap dances are not the same as online looking. Nudity is not the same thing as clothing. Paying is not the same. Men ogling is a choice. In most circumstances, women are ogled without their consent.

I don't think it's hypocritical unless you're a stripper who tells your SO that it's just meaningless fun/work...but you don't let him go to clubs.

The comparisons are there to remind people of the hypocrisy of human behavior. Anyone who complains about their spouse "ogling other women", while they are dressing up, going out and getting ogled by men in bars, is a hypocrite. Anyone who says they don't "fat/body shame", then go onto a bang thread and make comments about other people, are hypocrites.

cherryd69

Nope, woudlnt be happy. Also know he wouldnt be happy if i went to one either, and im fine with that...

MelsAuntie

I think if a person is young and insecure it would bother them.

As that person matures and becomes secure in their relationship they would realize its no big deal.

I suppose the common reaction is jealousy, which is just another form of a tantrum saying "Pay attention to me!"

false...I know lots of older people who wouldn't approve despite being married for decades...men and women.

They got older, but they never matured and never felt secure in themselves or their relationship.

Now if the question were "what do you think of strip clubs?"
I've been in the past, but I've got a different outlook on them now. I wouldn't want my daughter, sister, or granddaughter to work in one, so it would be hypocritical for me to go. Not my cup of tea, but if others find them necessary I don't have a problem with them going.

For me, it has nothing to do with being secure/insecure. It has everything to do with respect for me and our relationship. I honestly have a hard time buying that that many women are really okay with it and even go along. If a woman is going along it's for one of the following reasons (maybe all of thee above):

1) Lesbian/Closet lesbian
2) She wants to keep an eye on her man
3) She wants to appear to be "one of the guys", which is the brightest shade of pathetic
4) If she's going with her girl friends, it's to make fun of the strippers.

Disclaimer: this is my truth, you're not going to change my mind.

Or some of us are so secure with our sexuality that we have no problems checking out other women.

I know that I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that I don't want another woman shaking her boobs in my face. I was under the impression that if you enjoyed having someone of the same sex grinding on your lap that makes you at the very least bisexual. If that's not something that gives you pleasure, then it stands to reason you are there for one of the other listed reasons. I'm not saying that being a lesbian is right or wrong, I'm saying that if a lap dance is enjoyed...well?

Besides all that crazy logic, it doesn't really matter. It's how I view the situation; you view it differently. The world keeps on spinning. I highly doubt that society is going to crumble over my opinion.

WTF? NO. I have never had the slightest sexual feelings or attraction to another female. I can look at them and think they are beautiful, but so is a lily or a horse or a sunset. I've been in a couple of threesomes about thirty years ago with my hubby and a female friend... we made sure he had a good time, but it was a little awkward as neither of us women wanted to touch the other one in any remotely sexual way.

hbrittingham

I wonder how many of the women opposed to their men going out to gawk at sexy women:

1. Belong to the "hot, not, bang, pass" thread
2. Get all dressed up and go out to clubs to dance - knowing you are there to "be seen and ogled" by men

Let's face it, ladies, we WANT to be seen and admired by men just as much as men want to see and ogle women. It's human nature.

I am a little more offended by the MFP threads that ask me to "rate" the person above me, more than the idea of my husband going to a strip club. This place isn't supposed to be a "rate others" website, it's a fitness and health website. I think if you're on THOSE threads, you are there to get attention from others. And if you're one of those people who want people on here to admire you, then it's really hypocritical of you to say that you don't want your spouse ogling others.

Same church, different pew.

I have to agree. I don't want my husband going to strip clubs and I don't post in those rating threads. I am of the mindset that if I wouldn't do it with him sitting right next to me, then I don't need to be doing it (whatever "it" is).

Oh, and I only get dressed up and go out to the clubs with my husband. I dress for him and what he finds attractive. I'm really too shy to flirt with strange men, in the first place.

BurningAway

I think if a person is young and insecure it would bother them.

As that person matures and becomes secure in their relationship they would realize its no big deal.

I suppose the common reaction is jealousy, which is just another form of a tantrum saying "Pay attention to me!"

false...I know lots of older people who wouldn't approve despite being married for decades...men and women.

They got older, but they never matured and never felt secure in themselves or their relationship.

Now if the question were "what do you think of strip clubs?"
I've been in the past, but I've got a different outlook on them now. I wouldn't want my daughter, sister, or granddaughter to work in one, so it would be hypocritical for me to go. Not my cup of tea, but if others find them necessary I don't have a problem with them going.

For me, it has nothing to do with being secure/insecure. It has everything to do with respect for me and our relationship. I honestly have a hard time buying that that many women are really okay with it and even go along. If a woman is going along it's for one of the following reasons (maybe all of thee above):

1) Lesbian/Closet lesbian
2) She wants to keep an eye on her man
3) She wants to appear to be "one of the guys", which is the brightest shade of pathetic
4) If she's going with her girl friends, it's to make fun of the strippers.

Disclaimer: this is my truth, you're not going to change my mind.

Or some of us are so secure with our sexuality that we have no problems checking out other women.

I know that I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that I don't want another woman shaking her boobs in my face. I was under the impression that if you enjoyed having someone of the same sex grinding on your lap that makes you at the very least bisexual. If that's not something that gives you pleasure, then it stands to reason you are there for one of the other listed reasons. I'm not saying that being a lesbian is right or wrong, I'm saying that if a lap dance is enjoyed...well?

Besides all that crazy logic, it doesn't really matter. It's how I view the situation; you view it differently. The world keeps on spinning. I highly doubt that society is going to crumble over my opinion.

WTF? NO. I have never had the slightest sexual feelings or attraction to another female. I can look at them and think they are beautiful, but so is a lily or a horse or a sunset. I've been in a couple of threesomes about thirty years ago with my hubby and a female friend... we made sure he had a good time, but it was a little awkward as neither of us women wanted to touch the other one in any remotely sexual way.

I dont really have a response to this other then, WOW.

MsEndomorph

I wonder how many of the women opposed to their men going out to gawk at sexy women:

1. Belong to the "hot, not, bang, pass" thread
2. Get all dressed up and go out to clubs to dance - knowing you are there to "be seen and ogled" by men

Let's face it, ladies, we WANT to be seen and admired by men just as much as men want to see and ogle women. It's human nature.

I am a little more offended by the MFP threads that ask me to "rate" the person above me, more than the idea of my husband going to a strip club. This place isn't supposed to be a "rate others" website, it's a fitness and health website. I think if you're on THOSE threads, you are there to get attention from others. And if you're one of those people who want people on here to admire you, then it's really hypocritical of you to say that you don't want your spouse ogling others.

Same church, different pew.

Not to make too fine of a point about it, because I do understand what you're saying, but...

Those are terrible comparisons. The only thing they have in common is that eyes are involved.
Being looked at is not the same thing as looking. Pictures are not the same thing as real life. Lap dances are not the same as online looking. Nudity is not the same thing as clothing. Paying is not the same. Men ogling is a choice. In most circumstances, women are ogled without their consent.

I don't think it's hypocritical unless you're a stripper who tells your SO that it's just meaningless fun/work...but you don't let him go to clubs.

The comparisons are there to remind people of the hypocrisy of human behavior. Anyone who complains about their spouse "ogling other women", while they are dressing up, going out and getting ogled by men in bars, is a hypocrite. Anyone who says they don't "fat/body shame", then go onto a bang thread and make comments about other people, are hypocrites.

I guess I just don't look at standards/deal breakers in that way. If you go out dancing and your husband doesn't care, who cares? If you go out dancing but don't like your husband ogling other women and you can find a man who's ok with with that...who cares?

I have a friend who is a single mom. She refuses to be with a single dad because she doesn't want to deal with other people's kids or exs. From some perspectives that's hypocritical, but really - is there any rule that says all things have to be equal? She was fine being single and now she's fine being with a nice child-free man, so it's all good.

I only see a problem when people are unhappy because of their double standards...then a little introspection is definitely in order.

ldrosophila

1) Lesbian/Closet lesbian
2) She wants to keep an eye on her man
3) She wants to appear to be "one of the guys", which is the brightest shade of pathetic
4) If she's going with her girl friends, it's to make fun of the strippers.

No.

Wow

Could be bi and like the best of both worlds.

ldrosophila

Screw the strip club, if im going to spend money with my significant other i dont want to be teased all night bunny ranch here we come!

LOL shoooot I couldnt even get him to go into the bar with me at the Shady Lady.

mfrkorey

We go together every once in a while. I don't mind him going without me if it's something like a bachelor party, but if he list randomly wanted to spend an evening alone at a club...eh, no.

Me too

Mainebikerchick

Doesn't bother me at all! As a matter of fact, I go WITH him and get my very OWN lapdance! (Or 12!!) The girls love ME more than they love HIM!! :bigsmile:

Sublimely_Self_Righteous

I wouldn't care if she went and got a lap dance, and she doesn't care if I go and get one. No biggie.