strip club question??...

alyssa_rest

this actually just happened to me and all my friends thought i was crazy because i was angry. i just figure if he has me, why does he need to look at and get turned on by anyone else?

Kerilynnda

It depends - I've been to the strip club numerous times with and without my husband. I think they are good clean fun (at times) - but I also was friends with a stripper who said that a lot of the strippers will try and be sketchy with married men - she even told me that they'd give *kitten* and such during a lap dance just for extra cash (especially with the married men).

My husband got a free HJ (before we were dating) from a stripper during a lap dance once (terrible mistake telling me about it).

There is a thin line between having a good time and sketchy strippers trying to make some extra dough.

So in conclusion my husband and I have an agreement now – after hearing all the nasty things that certain strippers do. I don’t care if he goes to the strip club, but lap dances are off limits unless I’m there…

(Obviously I know not all strippers are nastly like my friend had described, but I’m just saying the ones around where I live, they aren’t anything special)

JenAndSome

I would not care as long as he told me about it. If he tried to sneak around and hide it I wouldn't be happy. Hopefully he would have invited me to come along.

luvJOJO

I'd go with him & pay for his lap dance

CrazyTrackLady

It depends - I've been to the strip club numerous times with and without my husband. I think they are good clean fun (at times) - but I also was friends with a stripper who said that a lot of the strippers will try and be sketchy with married men - she even told me that they'd give *kitten* and such during a lap dance just for extra cash (especially with the married men).

My husband got a free HJ (before we were dating) from a stripper during a lap dance once (terrible mistake telling me about it).

There is a thin line between having a good time and sketchy strippers trying to make some extra dough.

So in conclusion my husband and I have an agreement now – after hearing all the nasty things that certain strippers do. I don’t care if he goes to the strip club, but lap dances are off limits unless I’m there…

(Obviously I know not all strippers are nastly like my friend had described, but I’m just saying the ones around where I live, they aren’t anything special)

Again, this may sound weird, but a good dancer doesn't need to take it to the next level to make money. I find that whole idea disgusting. I think it should remain strictly business, and no touching, no sexual acts, no anything inappropriate, should occur. I'm sure a LOT of the strippers in the strip club make extra bucks doing things they shouldn't, but that's management's responsibility to keep things on the up and up. Also, the lap dancer/stripper should remain clothed.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I've gone with friends and exes. I've even gotten lap dances.

Morninglory81

As long as I get one for every one he gets I'm good! Honestly the female form is very arousing and pleasing.

socrates02

i will send him to the best one and give him money

Pookylou

I will probably get flamed for this, but --

A month ago, I took a lap dancing workshop to learn how to give a lap dance. I did it to make myself feel sexier. While the actual dance CAN be intimate, there are probably some things that everyone should know about lap dancing that might be worth sharing.

It is all about the tease, and nothing about "cheating" or "touching". At no time is the woman performing the dance allowed to touch the man's privates with her hands, NOR is there any undressing allowed or hands on by the man allowed.

Does she actually rub herself against the man during the "lap dance" portion? Yes. but, the actual lap dancing is about a 1 minute part of the routine. The average length of the routine is about 3 minutes in total. And trust me, it was a HARD routine. My thighs were burning midway through as I tried to balance myself on 4 inch heels.

Would I allow my husband to get a lap dance? Yeah, probably. Because those girls aren't doing it to find a man willing to cheat on his lady, they're just doing it for the money. Reputable lap dancers are 'strictly professional". It really is all about "the tease" and the power of a woman.

And by the way, the art of seduction through dance has been going on for thousands of years. Ever watch a belly dancer do her routine? That's one of the sexiest forms of dancing I've ever seen, and one of the hardest dances to learn how to do. I've tried it, and I'm drenched in sweat within seconds.

ETA: If the man is uncomfortable with the idea, he shouldn't be there. If the man grows uncomfortable with the intimacy that is building, the woman should be told and she should back off. There is a lot of stuff that can be done without the need for grinding on the guy's lap.

I think it is ace you did a lap dancing class, I would love to give it a go, but my coordination would probably mean it ended in broken noses/black eyes.......

I have been to strip clubs with an ex and had a lap dance before. The girls had lovely underwear! I think he enjoyed watching me get a lap dance more than his :laugh: I have mentioned it to my current OH and he's not bothered about going at all. If he wanted to go (on a stage do etc) I wouldn't mind, I know he loves me and wouldn't cheat on me. I know he watches porn and that isn't an issue either!!

Kerilynnda

It depends - I've been to the strip club numerous times with and without my husband. I think they are good clean fun (at times) - but I also was friends with a stripper who said that a lot of the strippers will try and be sketchy with married men - she even told me that they'd give *kitten* and such during a lap dance just for extra cash (especially with the married men).

My husband got a free HJ (before we were dating) from a stripper during a lap dance once (terrible mistake telling me about it).

There is a thin line between having a good time and sketchy strippers trying to make some extra dough.

So in conclusion my husband and I have an agreement now – after hearing all the nasty things that certain strippers do. I don’t care if he goes to the strip club, but lap dances are off limits unless I’m there…

(Obviously I know not all strippers are nastly like my friend had described, but I’m just saying the ones around where I live, they aren’t anything special)

Again, this may sound weird, but a good dancer doesn't need to take it to the next level to make money. I find that whole idea disgusting. I think it should remain strictly business, and no touching, no sexual acts, no anything inappropriate, should occur. I'm sure a LOT of the strippers in the strip club make extra bucks doing things they shouldn't, but that's management's responsibility to keep things on the up and up. Also, the lap dancer/stripper should remain clothed.

Unfortunately where I live the lap dances are given naked (at certain clubs) - and our strip clubs really lack the professionalism that they should have!

I would love to go to one - where the strippers actually have dancing skills... lol

Pookylou

I think if a person is young and insecure it would bother them.

As that person matures and becomes secure in their relationship they would realize its no big deal.

I suppose the common reaction is jealousy, which is just another form of a tantrum saying "Pay attention to me!"

false...I know lots of older people who wouldn't approve despite being married for decades...men and women.

They got older, but they never matured and never felt secure in themselves or their relationship.

Now if the question were "what do you think of strip clubs?"
I've been in the past, but I've got a different outlook on them now. I wouldn't want my daughter, sister, or granddaughter to work in one, so it would be hypocritical for me to go. Not my cup of tea, but if others find them necessary I don't have a problem with them going.

For me, it has nothing to do with being secure/insecure. It has everything to do with respect for me and our relationship. I honestly have a hard time buying that that many women are really okay with it and even go along. If a woman is going along it's for one of the following reasons (maybe all of thee above):

1) Lesbian/Closet lesbian
2) She wants to keep an eye on her man
3) She wants to appear to be "one of the guys", which is the brightest shade of pathetic
4) If she's going with her girl friends, it's to make fun of the strippers.

Disclaimer: this is my truth, you're not going to change my mind.

Or some of us are so secure with our sexuality that we have no problems checking out other women.

I know that I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that I don't want another woman shaking her boobs in my face. I was under the impression that if you enjoyed having someone of the same sex grinding on your lap that makes you at the very least bisexual. If that's not something that gives you pleasure, then it stands to reason you are there for one of the other listed reasons. I'm not saying that being a lesbian is right or wrong, I'm saying that if a lap dance is enjoyed...well?

Besides all that crazy logic, it doesn't really matter. It's how I view the situation; you view it differently. The world keeps on spinning. I highly doubt that society is going to crumble over my opinion.

Come on who doesn't like boobs being shaken in your face??!

CrazyTrackLady

As long as I get one for every one he gets I'm good! Honestly the female form is very arousing and pleasing.

I agree! I am a straight woman. Our lap dance workshop was ALL female, and we were paired up and practiced on each other. We had the absolute BEST fun and were so busy laughing at our antics, we could barely get through the routines at first.

But, I do agree. A woman who knows how to move sensually is a big turn on. One of my best friends is a dancer, and one of the types of dancing she does beautifully is belly dancing. I love to watch her do her routines because it is fluid, and sensual and really celebrates the "sexy" we all have within ourselves, but are afraid to release.

MsEndomorph

I think if a person is young and insecure it would bother them.

As that person matures and becomes secure in their relationship they would realize its no big deal.

I suppose the common reaction is jealousy, which is just another form of a tantrum saying "Pay attention to me!"

false...I know lots of older people who wouldn't approve despite being married for decades...men and women.

They got older, but they never matured and never felt secure in themselves or their relationship.

Now if the question were "what do you think of strip clubs?"
I've been in the past, but I've got a different outlook on them now. I wouldn't want my daughter, sister, or granddaughter to work in one, so it would be hypocritical for me to go. Not my cup of tea, but if others find them necessary I don't have a problem with them going.

For me, it has nothing to do with being secure/insecure. It has everything to do with respect for me and our relationship. I honestly have a hard time buying that that many women are really okay with it and even go along. If a woman is going along it's for one of the following reasons (maybe all of thee above):

1) Lesbian/Closet lesbian
2) She wants to keep an eye on her man
3) She wants to appear to be "one of the guys", which is the brightest shade of pathetic
4) If she's going with her girl friends, it's to make fun of the strippers.

Disclaimer: this is my truth, you're not going to change my mind.

Or some of us are so secure with our sexuality that we have no problems checking out other women.

I know that I am comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that I don't want another woman shaking her boobs in my face. I was under the impression that if you enjoyed having someone of the same sex grinding on your lap that makes you at the very least bisexual. If that's not something that gives you pleasure, then it stands to reason you are there for one of the other listed reasons. I'm not saying that being a lesbian is right or wrong, I'm saying that if a lap dance is enjoyed...well?

Besides all that crazy logic, it doesn't really matter. It's how I view the situation; you view it differently. The world keeps on spinning. I highly doubt that society is going to crumble over my opinion.

I think calling it "logic" is stretching it.

It's ok that you don't agree or understand - the problem is when you clearly have no clue what you're talking about but you're still pretending that you do.

jjay23

i dont care as long as he doesnt spend all our money, to be fair why be bothered, as long as he isnt shoving his hands places who cares. x

CrazyTrackLady

It depends - I've been to the strip club numerous times with and without my husband. I think they are good clean fun (at times) - but I also was friends with a stripper who said that a lot of the strippers will try and be sketchy with married men - she even told me that they'd give *kitten* and such during a lap dance just for extra cash (especially with the married men).

My husband got a free HJ (before we were dating) from a stripper during a lap dance once (terrible mistake telling me about it).

There is a thin line between having a good time and sketchy strippers trying to make some extra dough.

So in conclusion my husband and I have an agreement now – after hearing all the nasty things that certain strippers do. I don’t care if he goes to the strip club, but lap dances are off limits unless I’m there…

(Obviously I know not all strippers are nastly like my friend had described, but I’m just saying the ones around where I live, they aren’t anything special)

Again, this may sound weird, but a good dancer doesn't need to take it to the next level to make money. I find that whole idea disgusting. I think it should remain strictly business, and no touching, no sexual acts, no anything inappropriate, should occur. I'm sure a LOT of the strippers in the strip club make extra bucks doing things they shouldn't, but that's management's responsibility to keep things on the up and up. Also, the lap dancer/stripper should remain clothed.

Unfortunately where I live the lap dances are given naked (at certain clubs) - and our strip clubs really lack the professionalism that they should have!

I would love to go to one - where the strippers actually have dancing skills... lol

Yeah, that's gross. We shouldn't be "giving it away", know what I mean?

TattedInStilettos

I dnt mind if my mate get lap dances at the strip club... the strip club we go to the girls got hella good dance moves...hell I know I can't do it.... it's not that big of a deal...

Philllbis

I wouldn't care.

patentguru

All heterosexual men like seeing naked women. So when I see posts like "my husband doesn't like strip clubs" or won't go with me, it is not because he does not like strange naked women. He is a lot smarter than you think. Going to a strip club with your girlfriend or wife is really stupid. There is no up side to this for the guy. Women love to test their man and there is no better place to find out what the man likes and how he acts around other women than a strip club. Thus, the smart answer for men is "no I only want to see you naked honey!".

My husband likes naked ladies. Does he like them gyrating for money in a grubby club? not so much. There's a big difference between liking naked ladies and liking strip clubs. That's like saying that all men like steak, so all guys would like a cheap, badly cooked steak from a grubby diner.


I did not say all men like strip clubs. I just attacked the stupid excuses and pointed out there is no upside.

morningmud

The only thing that would bother me is the money spent, especially if it was on mortgage week.

footiechick82

I use to work at one... NO NOT AS A STRIPPER... I served cocktails :P not ****.... cockTAILS

anyway...

I worked at one of the most upscale ones in all of the Niagara Region (Ontario) and it was still sketchy... I actually met my ex there, he was security and haaaaaaawt and younger and CRAZY AS *kitten* lol... shoulda known

NOW, I don't want the man I'm with in those places because I know what they are like. If I was going with, that would be a different story... luckily, the man I'm with thinks they are absolutely repulsive and doesn't suppor the fact that the women in there lack self respect - his words.

I still have a girlfriend that use to dance and she's a mom of 2 now and an amazing person. But honestly, don't trust most strippers... they are evil! LOL. I learned that the hard way when I was almost drugged by a few of them one night working :mad: