Calling out Lazy is the Lazy answer

kimny72

earlnabby wrote: »

Annie_01 wrote: »

I think in my reading of different threads that there is another aspect of all of this...OP feeling as if they are being ganged up on. Maybe we should all read other comments before we respond and make sure that the "tough love" hasn't already been said.

Most often if there is one that has handed out the "tough love" then there is another...then another...then another and so on and so on. How many times does the "tough love" need to be handed out and how many people have to hand it out? Maybe before handing it out we need to figure out...how did the OP respond to it the first 2 or 3 times?

I also think that there are different methods to handing out "tough love". Maybe we should take a look at ourselves to see if we are handing it out in the most useful manner.

Someone tried "tough love" with me once. I mentioned that I had eliminated White Castle frozen cheeseburgers from my diet because they were not worth the calories and the sodium level. I was told that I needed to moderate them or it was a sign of a mental issue...no self-control...weakness...and that I needed professional help with my eating disorder. Fortunately for me I learned a long time ago not to give a ratsbutt what some stranger on the internet had to say.

Don't get me wrong...there are times that what I am thinking in my head in response to some OPs would be considered "tough love" or maybe a better description would be "not so nice". I try to just move on before I take the time to write out those responses. Occasionally...somehow they manage to get posted...I just couldn't help myself...I had a weak moment.

There should be some kind of law that states that nobody should be able to post until they have read every post on the first and last page of a thread.

ITA. I think in a lot of threads, if one person came in and said something really just nice and supportive and then one person took a more blunt approach that said what they didn't want to hear, the OP could just see the info given and hopefully learn. But when they log back on an hour later and there are 3 pages of replies telling them the same thing over & over (which they didn't really want to hear), they feel ganged up on and miss the point. I never understand why someone will read the OP, see there are 4 pages of replies, and not at least skim through them before posting.

tara_means_star

I think my take away from this thread and my experience on the forms is this...

There fine lines that people should recognize. There's a fine line between encouragement and coddling and there's a fine line between being straightforward and being rude. There are people on the forums who think they are being straightforward but they've really fallen off that cliff into being rude.

If you are blunt person. Cool so long as you remain respectful. If you are an encouraging type, great just don't get caught in the trap of taking on the responsibility for someone's success. Above all, respect people even if you disagree with them.