Serial Starters

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  • ASalner
    ASalner Posts: 496 Member
    Wednesday night

    Hello! Sorry I have been MIA. Life is busy - attitude has not been great. Working on setting it all right.

    Lana - I have been like you. A couple of good days and then hungrier/sick feeling in tummy pushing me into eating bread and crackers. Grrr.

    Dawn - congrats on the raise!

    Eating has been so-so. I am getting a few miles walked a week now that we have the YMCA membership and I can walk on the nice, flat indoor track. Scale keeps bumping up and down in the same few lbs.

    Doctor appt tomorrow to seek answers about my low back/hip issue. I'm dreading the scale as I know I'll be up 6-7 lbs from when I was there in April. Have regained most of the weight I lost in 2014. :( But hoping we can get find some answers for my pain and find the right treatment (likely more PT).

    Time for a hot bath and bed. More soon!

    Annie
  • arniedog74
    arniedog74 Posts: 2,086 Member
    Annie - good to see you!
  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    THURSDAY

    Good morning,

    Annie! Hope your apt today goes well. I had hip/back issues and on my own I bought expensive orthopedic inserts. Physical therapy is never a bad thing, hope doctor has some ideas. Good job with your walking.

    Hoping for a quiet day at work, but if nothing else - ear plugs!!

    Need to go rescue oatmeal. Wave to all who follow.
  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member

    Good morning all~~

    Sara - Sorry you had to banish some shoes.

    I don't know how to fix my occasional "Bready-Neediness". It's a carb/sugar craving. I have pared down the house to not have very much junk in it, but I still have some pretty decent bread around--Trader Joe's multi-grain or Bread Alone's multi-grain, kept in the freezer, so not out on the counter. But if I get into one of those moods, I'll make toast and put butter and jam on it with a big glass of milk. Or make a PB & J using liberal portions.

    1/3 of the time I can wrangle my brain for going for an apple and some cheddar cheese instead. But sometimes, what I'm really fighting is a desire for sugar cookies or cake or real baked goods. Thank goodness I don't have a car here. I can't do impulse shopping, which is good.

    Waving to Dawn - congrats on raise.

    Annie - so glad you stopped by. I do hope something good comes of doctors appointment. Sara had a very good idea about orthotics for your shoes. Feet are our foundation, and we don't think of how they can affect our hips and back!

    ......continued.....
  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member

    .......

    Dani - Sorry to hear about toxic work place. Dawn recently left a toxic work place, and she is better off for it, we think. I don't want to speak for her. Sending good vibes to help you through it all.

    Mango - How did your test go?

    BBL

    Lana

    243.0 today
    250.0 highest
    185.0 goal
  • hickchic67
    hickchic67 Posts: 802 Member
    edited October 2017
    *waves to all*

    have been a bit preoccupied with family stuff.

    emotional/stress eating has taken over. scale up 6.5 pounds. every day calories in the red, no matter how hard i try. i am more or less falling off the wagon until everything here settles down. then i will start again, as always.

    memorial service for grandmother & poppy was nice & quiet. there were a slot machine, poker cards, and lottery scratch-offs displayed with their ashes at the graveside. my grandparents loved going to the casino and playing nickel slots. (my father refers to the casinos as "senior daycare") grandmother taught all the grandkids & great grandkids their numbers by playing poker. many wonderful stories about them were shared. my aunts said grandmother's last words were "love you more than tongue can tell." they were such wonderful loving people. they will be dearly missed.

    hospice did another evaluation of my brother. said another week, maybe. my middle sister and her family went to visit. she said he didn't recognize any of them and those two have always been especially close. my eldest sister flies in tomorrow. she is somewhat of a drama queen and i am dreading taking her to see him, even more so than i dread having to put her up in our house for a couple of weeks.

    i know it is better for him not to suffer. we all thought we would have more time to adjust to the thought of him being gone. now it seems like time is just flying by. we have all arrangements made so when he passes, everything will already be taken care of. memorial services & funeral on the saturday following his passing. there is something peaceful knowing that is all done. he was so worried about that when he decided to quit treatment.

    my work has been very good in letting me take time off here and there as needed. my workload seems to be getting heavier however.

    i have handed the baby shower responsibility over to my friend's step-mother and sisters. hopefully they will come through for her and not drop the ball. lets just say they are not known for their reliability.

    Lana - try sprouted grain bread, its better on carbs, and pureed berries or peaches to spread on the toast. i also used to eat a bread called 35 calorie bread. cant recall the brand, but that was the name on the package. might help keep calories under control while still satiating cravings.
    has the tree been dealt with yet?

    Dawn - congrats on the raise! see - you are doing great! and you were so worried before you started!
    have fun visit with your sis.

    Sara - what color did you get for pedi? new color for hair or just touch up this time? how are the new shoes working out?

    Mango - hope you came through the test ok and are able to channel that stress and energy into something productive. i can truly understand about stress eating though.

    Annie - hope they are able to get you some relief for your back/hip



  • arniedog74
    arniedog74 Posts: 2,086 Member
    Dani - Lana is right...I am much happier away from toxic work place...I was incredibly worried at first, I didn't think anyone would want me, or I'd be able to do more than cleaning or retail...I found a great job at a vet clinic, and have been there almost 3 months and just got my first raise...the Dr's are wonderful people, I'm learning a lot... yes, there are co workers that I could do without... but, that's going to be everywhere...I have so much less stress and no longer dread going to work every morning... good luck to you in leaving that toxic place... hope you don't have to be there much longer...

    Kathryn- wow are you going thru a lot right now... huge hugs and good thoughts to you... hope your brother can pass on peace and certain family members don't make it into a big thing...
    Thank you... I've been feeling a bit more confident at work... and, the raise makes me feel like they trust in me...

    Going to lunch with my friends today.. no clue where we're going... but, I'm excited to spend time with them... May do some shopping or possibly take in a movie... seems the decision is being put on me and, as I'm low on funds... got to determine which will cost less...
  • mugofire
    mugofire Posts: 110 Member
    I definitely need to be on this page as I am starting over again. I need help with motivation, especially now with fall being here (although you can't tell in San Francisco with it being 75 degrees). Glad to know I am not the only one!
  • dani_1977
    dani_1977 Posts: 557 Member
    Hello

    Thanks for the encouraging words Arnie and Lana. Yes, I have had many jobs before and many different environments. But none quite like this. I took a Real Estate class a few month ago. My hubby runs a property management business and has always dabbed in Real Estate investment properties. So we set a $$$ goal, to be able to pay our bills for 3-4 months and have some after for "emergencies". And we are very close.

    Annie - I have been there with the low back pain. I have so many issues with my back. I hope you at the very least find a cause for your pain, then you can at least work on from there.

    Kathryn - I know I new to group. But I really am sorry that you are going through this right now.

    I only meal prepped enough lunches for 3 days, because I didn't have enough meat. Of course I forgot and know I have to go grab lunch. I think Im going to get hibachi chicken with double veggies . Hot lunch instead of a salad today.

    Arnie - Ooohh lunch with friends. Sounds fun!

  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member


    Kathryn - Wow it's huge for you now. Hang in there and try a bit to not let go of everything food-wise during this really hard time. Also try to not kill your drama queen sister!
    *sending Cabana Boys with 2 canisters of Patience Spray and as many good vibes as they can carry*
    Hugs!

    Lana
  • arniedog74
    arniedog74 Posts: 2,086 Member
    edited October 2017
    Lunch was fun...we went to a Mexican restaurant... one girl ordered a burger... other had chicken strips...hmmm...I asked if they liked Mexican food, before going...oh well, was a good visit...I had guacamole, the only reason I go to that particular restaurant... stopped at thrift store, just to look around... didn't do more, but it was kind of a good thing... saved me money... being poor is no fun... blah
    Sad that she will be going back to Australia, next Wed... but, glad I got to spend a little time with her... hope she makes it back, some day... was so great to see her..
  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    edited October 2017
    Dawn, package was on doorstep - all in one piece and nothing broken. Made good choices, like them all. New Pine one in warmer with rest of last years Pine scent - they do lose their potency if they sit in the warmer all year long...... but that's just my world.

    Frozen lasagna in toaster.

    Found a pattern to crochet string of Christmas lights - we shall see if this works like the picture......

    Kathryn - wow let us know when the whirlwind stops - glad your brother's all set because that's one less thing to juggle. Little darker hair color for winter. Can we throw in the "silence spray" in the Cboy package?? They think they are talking but you just dont have to hear it - aim at your sister and spray as needed. Lana's recipe - I used to use mine on my "know it all" supervisor I had at the time.

    Dawn's package is first of 3 online shopping moments - shoes will take about a week.....

    Dani - good lunch option considering you were flying without a net.

    Mugofire - welcome and post when you can.

    Trying to multi task - not a good idea so I am sounding scattered.

    *memo to cboys - set up the massage tables......

    Have a good night.
  • arniedog74
    arniedog74 Posts: 2,086 Member
    Sara- wonderful to hear! So glad everything was in 1 piece and you like your choices...I do the same and just keep the scents around.. you like what you like :)
  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    FRIDAY

    Good morning, TGIF

    Dog is my best alarm clock.

    House smells of pine trees which reminds me of Christmas trees. Pets make those unrealistic in my small place.

    Cafe special today, took ziplock bag to bring home leftovers.

    Wishing all a great Friday
  • PamRoman61
    PamRoman61 Posts: 20 Member
    Oh pine sounds delightful! I might have to get something today to give me a pine fix <3:p
  • dani_1977
    dani_1977 Posts: 557 Member
    Happy Friday , now only if it were 5pm here in Maryland

    Im ret' to go ( In best Wanda from In living color voice )

    I started a new book, I cant wait to cuddle up this weekend ( after I workout of course ) with a glass of wine on my sofa with the sun beaming on me. The past 25 year old me would be so disappointed in the 40 year old me

    https://goodreads.com/book/show/32503381-eleanor-oliphant-is-completely-fine


    Sara!! Pine is one of my favorites for winter. Unfortunately my hubby hates it.

    Mugofire, Welcome

  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member

    Dani - the book sounds good, and the idea of reading on the sofa sounds good too! I am envious, as I do not have a sofa, just a love seat from a past tiny apartment and some chairs. Someday I will have a sofa!

    Welcome to Pam~~

    Sara and Dawn and everybody~~Have a good Friday--TGIF.

    Waves to everyone else who stops by later~~

    Lana
  • dani_1977
    dani_1977 Posts: 557 Member
    Lana - Girl don't be to jealous. That sofa was purchased used from a coworker like 5 years ago. Its time for a new one. But we definitely don't have the extra funds for a new set.
    You'll get your Sofa one day.
  • tlsb2016
    tlsb2016 Posts: 307 Member
    Hi all - apologies for being AWOL. It’s been an emotionally week and I needed to step back from social media for a bit. I missed so much - 30 messages awaited me here!

    Kathryn, you’re in my thoughts, as is your family. It’s damn hard to go through the grief let alone the inevitable family melodrama. Hugs to you.

    Lana, thought of you earlier this week as I had my annual mammogram. All clear for another year. Thanks for the reminders to take care of ourselves.

    Dawn, congrats on the raise! Well-deserved...

    Dani, hang in there - better jobs follow crappy ones, in my experience. As a manager myself, I’m always flummoxed by bosses who create or allow hostile work environments. It costs the company money in the long run. (And we might live near each other - I’m in the DC area.)

    In fact, am shrugging off a crappy week by cheering on the Nationals in game 1 of the playoffs tonight. Love baseball....

    Waves to all, and apologies for not keeping up.

    Best,
    Tess
  • dani_1977
    dani_1977 Posts: 557 Member
    Hey Tess..

    Yup I'm in Maryland. Glen Burnie. Which is about 30 minutes from DC.
  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    Good evening,

    At work what was a luncheon last year for award winners is this year a dessert buffet - isnt life cruel??

    Winding down. Pine smell and will use the rose/lavender/chamomile oil I purchased from Dawn's online party.

    Lana - tree update?

    Wishing all a good night.
  • explodingmango
    explodingmango Posts: 171 Member
    Well, my first race starts in 12 and a half hours and I am...well, physically I'm ready. Mentally the past two days have really been...bad.

    Long story short, a (possibly ex) friend let it slip when talking about his own anxiety that he sometimes wonders why some people - including me - even bother going out in costume, since we look nothing like the characters we're portraying. He meant, of course, that this is an automatic thought that he knows is wrong and corrects himself for - the kind along the lines of momentarily being mad at someone for cancelling plans because they're sick - and only mentioned it because, as he said, if he's that critical with other people, he'd be even worse with himself...

    I have had two suicidal breakdowns in the past 24 hours over this and he...seems to be ghosting me for it.

    So I'm not doing too great. And I'm sitting here wondering what the point of any of this is.

    It's too late for me to actually look good. I started getting wrinkles in my late teens. My hair is thinning. Several of my teeth are broken. Even if I lose the weight I'll have tons of loose skin hanging around. And...call me shallow all you want, but looking good is one of the things I want most in the world. I want to know what it's like. I want to know what it feels to have magazines advertising themselves with cover stories about how to look MORE like me, not LESS.

    But I never will. I know this.

    I can't figure out whether I want to just give up and resign myself to a life of hating everything about myself or just lock myself up in a room without food until all this extra fat finally just comes off in the hopes of coming as close as possible.

    I hate this.
  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    mango, I know people who dont lose weight because they have become accustomed to who they have become. Please think long term and goals you have for yourself. We look in the mirror and will find wrong even if its not there. Be your own friend first - who you are inside is more important. Breathe and look to going to your race and give yourself credit for trying and doing.
  • arniedog74
    arniedog74 Posts: 2,086 Member
    Sara - so glad you are enjoying your scents! I'm down on myself, as my party wasn't a "success" meaning, I did not reach $200...I was so close, $45- ish short... it's going to be difficult for me, being unsociable and too understanding... people can't afford, I get it, I let it go...
    Dessert bar is so unfair... you have tremendous willpower... stay strong

    Tess- thank you! Getting a raise was so encouraging... after 5 years at the shelter and getting a raise, every year but this...I feel, people actually realize, I am worth it...I am a good person/ worker... great to see you!

    Lana- hang in there... sofa will be yours, one day!

    Mango- not good with advice...I constantly beat myself up...the fact that you are doing this race, speaks volumes for who you are and where you want to be...we all want to look good...YOU are doing something about it... YOU have someone to love you and share your life with, extra skin, bad teeth and all... get the toxic people out of your life...you don't need them...you are better than that...
  • ASalner
    ASalner Posts: 496 Member
    Friday night

    I need to take some time to read all of the posts thoroughly so I can do a good job of responding to everyone.

    Thank you, all, for your positive encouraging words. Doctor appt went well. He understood that I have tried many conservative measures/treatments and that I am only getting by. He ordered x-rays of my right hip to check the room in the joint. Good news there, plenty of room. So, good cartilage and no rough bone. He did note a cloudy spot around the SI joint on the right side which is likely inflammation, which would help explain the pain. I will get an MRI next Thursday morning and a steroid injection if the pathology warrants it. I'm skeptical about the injection as I told him I don't want to mask the pain and I do want to get to the root cause and get back to being able to be more active. And it's about functional fitness like being able to lift and carry laundry baskets and grocery bags. It will be one step at a time for awhile.

    Kathryn - sounds like you have a lot going on. Sending you peace.

    Lana - I'm still with you on the carb-hunger. Still struggling. Today was not good.

    Scale was down to 160.0 this morning but then had Chinese for lunch. I'm sure scale will be back up tomorrow. I did get my butt to the YMCA tonight and walked 2 miles on the track, at least.

    Time for a hot bath and bed.

    G'night,
    Annie

  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    SATURDAY

    Good morning,

    Dog up and fed, me hoping for more ZZZ. Normal errands today.

    BBL.
  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member

    "But I never will. I know this.

    I can't figure out whether I want to just give up and resign myself to a life of hating everything about myself or just lock myself up in a room without food until all this extra fat finally just comes off in the hopes of coming as close as possible.

    I hate this."

    My dear Mango,

    I've pulled the above clump out of everything you wrote.....

    Consider rearranging your priority list to have only two things on it:
    1) Shop, Cook, and Eat healthy foods and try to track everything. Eating out--be very picky and say no to trouble foods/restaurants.
    2) Find--Seek out--Google--get therapist--Whatever to learn some cognitive behavioral therapy to seriously foster positivity about yourself. Find it; begin to study and learn it. Work on that for at least year or so.

    Thoughts are not facts. When negative thought pops in, recognize and label it for the not-helpful thing it is, and push it away. Practice this.

    Lana
  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member

    Waves to Tess and Dani and Sara and Annie~~
    Thinking of Kathryn~

    Sara - Tree is coming down this coming Tuesday and Wednesday. Crossing fingers for weather to hold.

    Lana
  • Tilliesmommy1
    Tilliesmommy1 Posts: 5,401 Member
    Had coupon for "snacks" - bought sweet potato tortilla chips, roasted/salted pistachio nuts and a wee bag of chocolate covered cashews. Just couldnt even look at the rest....... :p
  • LanaCabana537
    LanaCabana537 Posts: 4,011 Member

    Sara - your snacks sound very good! Mmmmm......