Obesity. Are you just lazy and dumb?
Replies
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I have never been dumb. I think few of us live as polarised lives as your clearly extreme examples
I was obese because I ate too much, didn't move enough and didn't commit enough to changing because I was convinced I was fine and because I was too lazy to find a way too change, it wasn't a priority to me
I'm not sure what I think about your post. I'm not one to fat shame but I also can't abide excuses.
I appreciate it is harder for some than others. I get that society stacks the decks. But there's also a line of personal responsibility.
I work with people who have the cards stacked against them in many ways (not in fitness) excuses don't cut it, failing to try is trying to fail.
I really don't know what to think of your post
I don't think it was meant to excuse or justify anything. I think it was meant as an example that the difficultly level for weight loss and a healthy lifestyle is dependent on so many different things and the majority of people don't understand that sometimes there are so many more factors than just wanting to make a change.
No I get that, it's related to my professional field and I've been dealing with inequalities and societal issues for the last decade.
Life isn't a level playing field. So what? My success stories got that. My failures didn't generally.
It's fair enough to want to change external attitudes from those outside judging but I don't believe it will happen, its endemic in politics, economics, media. Believe me I'd love to see a total shift in the perceptions towards, and of, the poor and dispossessed
I think that addressing the outside attitude is where SideSteel was going with this. I don't see any sort of excuse-making here.
I know you get the idea that obesity is often very complex, and some people have a great many issues to address before they ever get to the point where it really is as simple as eating less and moving more.
I think there was a post today on another thread that sort of instigated this, and if I'm speaking out of turn, forgive me. But it spoke to the idea of not grasping that it's not always easy for some people. Saying that isn't making excuses for them and saying it's not their fault, it's just explaining their reality, much in the same way you can explain the reality the people you deal with face.
You likely know yourself that there are probably extra steps the people you deal with need to take to get what they need to do done than those having more privilege (whatever sort of privilege that might entail) might.
Hell, I'm not without intelligence, but it took me 40 years to slay all my dragons before I could get this right, and I wasn't even a Margaret.11 -
WOW! After reading this, I immediately went to that Nicole whats-her-face and that British Katie-something-or-other fat shamers. I absolutely love the fact that you put it into such a perspective that would shut either one of them down.
The Margaret scenario is not an excuse. That is reality. That is pushing a boulder uphill. The point being made is that, yes, anyone can lose weight, and Margaret is genuinely trying, but the fact of the matter is it's much harder for some than for others. Not all of us come from good genes or financially secure incomes. As we all know, eating healthy is not cheap. And we further know that if you don't have a good night's sleep, it will damper your sense of well being, metabolism, your thought process, etc.
I think this is brilliant.15 -
I think it's important to acknowledge that he's not saying it's impossible for Margaret to lose weight. He's saying it's wrong and crappy to project a bunch of negative traits onto her for having obesity because obesity isn't caused by being a lazy, stupid person.25
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Doesn't everyone on the planet know that to lose weight they need to eat less?? For some people it's just not worth the effort...
As for poverty, there was a couple of years there where i was so poor i was nearly homeless, this was the time i was at my skinniest, too skinny.. Why? Because i couldn't afford to buy much food.
I then gained weight because i ate way too much, i was mentally and physically lazy The thought of going without my beloved treats and eating what i wanted when i wanted was just too hard. I have zero excuses, other than my willpower sucked. I knew full well what i needed to do to lose the weight, it just wasn't important enough to me at the time, until one day, it was.10 -
Not really what I'm saying
I'm going to think about it
Because this post sits very close in my mind to the "aww it's not their fault poor buggers" concept that makes people impotent and I'm sure that wasn't the intent
That is not what I got. I got out of it that people that are obese do try, it's just that some have a lot more obstacles stacked against them rather than not trying to lose the weight at all. I've been losing weight and gaining wieght my whole life. There was a time I was truly successful, and then it came back. and then it went away, and then it came back again. ....but because of how some people see me now, currently. some people would call me lazy, or "doesnt even try", when all of my life I have been struggling with it, when all of my life, since childhood, I have been thinking, trying, dieting, obsessing, about my weight. constantly.6 -
I have never been dumb. I think few of us live as polarised lives as your clearly extreme examples
I was obese because I ate too much, didn't move enough and didn't commit enough to changing because I was convinced I was fine and because I was too lazy to find a way too change, it wasn't a priority to me
I'm not sure what I think about your post. I'm not one to fat shame but I also can't abide excuses.
I appreciate it is harder for some than others. I get that society stacks the decks. But there's also a line of personal responsibility.
I work with people who have the cards stacked against them in many ways (not in fitness) excuses don't cut it, failing to try is trying to fail.
I really don't know what to think of your post
I don't think it was meant to excuse or justify anything. I think it was meant as an example that the difficultly level for weight loss and a healthy lifestyle is dependent on so many different things and the majority of people don't understand that sometimes there are so many more factors than just wanting to make a change.
No I get that, it's related to my professional field and I've been dealing with inequalities and societal issues for the last decade.
Life isn't a level playing field. So what?
So let's stop painting the picture of laziness, stupidity, or not caring as being the sole contributors to obesity especially when evidence suggests otherwise.It's fair enough to want to change external attitudes from those outside judging but I don't believe it will happen
It won't stop me from trying.
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food banks and food desert areas are huge contributors to the disparity gap in regards to obesity and health. This is way beyond lazy and dumb, and it makes me so angry that people get stigmatized because of their backgrounds. I actually want to integrate health into social work to help families break through the barriers.14
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food banks and food desert areas are huge contributors to the disparity gap in regards to obesity and health. This is way beyond lazy and dumb, and it makes me so angry that people get stigmatized because of their backgrounds. I actually want to integrate health into social work to help families break through the barriers.
Yup, one of the posted studies references food deserts as a contributing factor.2 -
food banks and food desert areas are huge contributors to the disparity gap in regards to obesity and health. This is way beyond lazy and dumb, and it makes me so angry that people get stigmatized because of their backgrounds. I actually want to integrate health into social work to help families break through the barriers.
Yup, one of the posted studies references food deserts as a contributing factor.
Thanks! It's hard to read this stuff on my phone, so I'll get to them once I have access to a computer. I find this information interesting yet unfortunate.
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My take....don't have kids unless you absolutely can care for them by yourself, and have great life insurance in case.
#1 reason why women are poor, usually overweight with no time for themselves is because they have a kid or two, or three. If I could get into the face of as many high school females as I could this is what I would share. Margaret has a degree in Mathematics, but since the degree wasn't a doctorate, and had no clue the sperm donor would vacate and leave her nothing, she couldn't save her from her situation because she had kids to care for by herself.
And look at Chad....if he had kids, he's not getting fat cause he didn't physically have them, nor is at home with the kids. He is out building a business, networking, socializing, probably without the ball and chain and the rug rats.
I love kids, I have one, and I love her and sacrificed so much for her. But I knew if I did not make a great income beforehand, our lives could have been much like Margaret. I still put on weight cause after work and homework and dinner, there's an exhausted Mom who has to start over again the next day, get kid ready, drop kid off at childcare/school, then get to work by 9:00 so that you can leave by 5:00 to get the kid before the 6:00p deadline (or you're paying $5 each minute you're late.
Unless you're a single dad, most men have not a clue. They are being Chad.12 -
I have never been dumb. I think few of us live as polarised lives as your clearly extreme examples
I was obese because I ate too much, didn't move enough and didn't commit enough to changing because I was convinced I was fine and because I was too lazy to find a way too change, it wasn't a priority to me
I'm not sure what I think about your post. I'm not one to fat shame but I also can't abide excuses.
I appreciate it is harder for some than others. I get that society stacks the decks. But there's also a line of personal responsibility.
I work with people who have the cards stacked against them in many ways (not in fitness) excuses don't cut it, failing to try is trying to fail.
I really don't know what to think of your postI have never been dumb. I think few of us live as polarised lives as your clearly extreme examples
I was obese because I ate too much, didn't move enough and didn't commit enough to changing because I was convinced I was fine and because I was too lazy to find a way too change, it wasn't a priority to me
I'm not sure what I think about your post. I'm not one to fat shame but I also can't abide excuses.
I appreciate it is harder for some than others. I get that society stacks the decks. But there's also a line of personal responsibility.
I work with people who have the cards stacked against them in many ways (not in fitness) excuses don't cut it, failing to try is trying to fail.
I really don't know what to think of your post
Nothing in my post removes the importance of personal responsibility nor does it have anything to do with "making excuses".11 -
KimCarbdashian wrote: »Margaret and I could be siblings.
I couldn't lose weight when I was working 70 hours per week.
I couldn't lose weight when my pantry was full of cheap processed foods.
I couldn't lose weight when I had no support from family and friends who also ate cheap processed foods.
I couldn't lose weight when all of my knowledge about health and fitness could be summarized as "follow this fad" and "Dude, just stop being fat".
What changed?
Skills training to get a better job
Access to healthier food and an affordable gym
A supportive fitness-focused friend group
A trainer who provided empathy and education
It took years of effort to clear the roadblocks between myself and a healthy lifestyle. The comments, the stares, the unsolicited advice, the "tough love" did nothing but make me withdraw more, eat more, and hate myself more.
Offer your hand to others, not your judgement.
You're an awesome human
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Being morbidly obese is a bit different than needing to lose 20 pounds to fit into a bikini. Being obese has nothing to do with being dumb, or lazy. There are a multitude of factor that work to get folks there, and a multitude more that KEEP people there. Mental, physical, biological, and emotional reasons.
And unless you have walked that path yourself, you are not qualified to judge. Period.
But this post gets at the root of a lot of it. Not excuses. Just the fact that everyone with a severe weight problem walked a long and different path to get there. And self hatred and the judgement of others can be one of the reasons they STAY there.
I can't tell you how many people I know that won't go to the gym because they are so terrified of being judged as dumb, lazy, or disgusting. They are afraid of change, and of failure, and the prison of fat they have built around themselves may be stealing their mobility, but at least it's familiar and "safe".
The best way to help people break out of that self imposed prison is to value people for who they are, and where they are. And for goodness sake, welcome ANYONE in your gym. Even that 50 year old 300 pound woman who made the amazing and brave decision to try.
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Necessarily lazy and dumb? No.
Prioritizing other things over their health? Yeah.14 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »Necessarily lazy and dumb? No.
Prioritizing other things over their health? Yeah.
Not necessarily.
You absolutely cannot look at someone's body and tell what their priorities are.
That 300lb person might have already lost 150 and still be losing.7 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »Necessarily lazy and dumb? No.
Prioritizing other things over their health? Yeah.
Not necessarily.
You absolutely cannot look at someone's body and tell what their priorities are.
That 300lb person might have already lost 150 and still be losing.
True. But I think it's safe to assume that at the time they became obese they were prioritizing things other than their health. Doesn't make them dumb or lazy, they may have had good reasons.
That applies to me as well, times I've become overweight I wasn't prioritizing my health. I was very busy at the time so not lazy and I don't think I caught a case of the dumb or anything. I own my decisions.9 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »Aaron_K123 wrote: »Necessarily lazy and dumb? No.
Prioritizing other things over their health? Yeah.
Not necessarily.
You absolutely cannot look at someone's body and tell what their priorities are.
That 300lb person might have already lost 150 and still be losing.
True. But I think it's safe to assume that at the time they became obese they were prioritizing things other than their health. Doesn't make them dumb or lazy, they may have had good reasons.
In many cases definitely but I'd still say not in all cases, and so I disagree that this is a safe assumption.
In fact I'm willing to wager that there are multiple people on this website who have made diligent efforts to prioritize their health and who were obese as a child and are still obese now.
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mysteps2beauty wrote: »My take....don't have kids unless you absolutely can care for them by yourself, and have great life insurance in case.
#1 reason why women are poor, usually overweight with no time for themselves is because they have a kid or two, or three. If I could get into the face of as many high school females as I could this is what I would share. Margaret has a degree in Mathematics, but since the degree wasn't a doctorate, and had no clue the sperm donor would vacate and leave her nothing, she couldn't save her from her situation because she had kids to care for by herself.
And look at Chad....if he had kids, he's not getting fat cause he didn't physically have them, nor is at home with the kids. He is out building a business, networking, socializing, probably without the ball and chain and the rug rats.
I love kids, I have one, and I love her and sacrificed so much for her. But I knew if I did not make a great income beforehand, our lives could have been much like Margaret. I still put on weight cause after work and homework and dinner, there's an exhausted Mom who has to start over again the next day, get kid ready, drop kid off at childcare/school, then get to work by 9:00 so that you can leave by 5:00 to get the kid before the 6:00p deadline (or you're paying $5 each minute you're late.
Unless you're a single dad, most men have not a clue. They are being Chad.
To make this happen we need free access to contraceptives and/or abortion services.
The sex drive is one of the strongest drives (most) people have, and expecting the population to be perfectly abstinent and only have sex when they are prepared for the possibility of pregnancy is both moralistic and naive.31 -
Aaron_K123 wrote: »Aaron_K123 wrote: »Necessarily lazy and dumb? No.
Prioritizing other things over their health? Yeah.
Not necessarily.
You absolutely cannot look at someone's body and tell what their priorities are.
That 300lb person might have already lost 150 and still be losing.
True. But I think it's safe to assume that at the time they became obese they were prioritizing things other than their health. Doesn't make them dumb or lazy, they may have had good reasons.
In many cases definitely but I'd still say not in all cases, and so I disagree that this is a safe assumption.
In fact I'm willing to wager that there are multiple people on this website who have made diligent efforts to prioritize their health and who were obese as a child and are still obese now.
This is probably going to sound harsh but if someone prioritizes their health but is not healthy (or on their way to being healthy) wouldn't that mean they are ineffective? And if ineffective wouldn't that mean they are either not putting in the required effort (lazy) or they are taking the wrong approaches (maybe not dumb, but ignorant)?
That is why I choose to assume they just aren't prioritizing health...because if they are it's hard not to come to some judgmental conclusion.2
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