I have a broken heart...

Options
1234568

Replies

  • chantels1
    chantels1 Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    I see a young woman with awesome standards in this day and age. Great convictions as well. The only downfall I see here is not feeling good enough for him, when in truth, he is not good enough for you. He did not treat you right because he is not the right kind of person you were looking for! You gave faith to someone who doesn't have any real convictions! Stand your ground, and look up to the fact that in reality, you are better than both him and the other girl!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Options
    For your boyfriend's sake, I hope he exits this relationship.

    Your boyfriend's sexual history is not yours to forgive - it's God's. What you are experiencing isn't a broken heart, it's jealousy. Best advice: stop dating him. Stop dating period. Move outside of your little bubble (notice I am not saying abandon your faith or family), have a few years of life experiences, figure out who you actually are.

    "Slut" is a societal construct that is designated to shame. There is nothing intrinsically shameful or dirty about sex - whether it is with one person on many people Calling your boyfriend, this person you just love so much, names (more than anything else you have said) shows you have zero clues about what makes a healthy relationship.
  • sparkly86
    sparkly86 Posts: 520 Member
    Options
    You are beautiful and young, take this as an experience and move on. Everything happens for a reason, I went through a similar situation and although I did have my heart broken, I am so glad he is no longer in my life. Stay true o your values and you WILL find someone who appreciates you for who you are. There are definitely things that you can comprise , but those cannot be the things that are important to you, so you should find someone who shares the same vision. Believe me,I know how you feel, but you can't always try to fix people or try to change them, as women we have that tendency, don't waste time.
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Options
    move on or learn to accept him for who he is, you do get lemonade from lemons he may be able to teach you a few things....when your ready of course
  • MexicanOsmosis
    MexicanOsmosis Posts: 382 Member
    Options
    I met this guy last August. I think I made it a pretty big priority to know his values. yes. he does have the same values. he hates his past. i know he has the same values. and you'd dump someone for saying man slut???? that'd be a little more dramatic than this scenario...

    You met him less than a year ago? I've been married over 4 years and I'm STILL learning about my wife. As others have said, just do you. If he really was "the one" you wouldn't have even started this thread, though since you have doubts, you come looking for opinions. If you want to wait, then wait. If you don't want to wait, then don't wait. Just make sure it's what YOU want to do.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    i suck.

    That's not what we think of you.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    He did not treat you right because he is not the right kind of person you were looking for!

    What did he do to her?
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    Options
    He did not treat you right because he is not the right kind of person you were looking for!

    What did he do to her?

    He did everything with someone else before he met her, DUH!
  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
    Options
    ok u all win. i suck. thread: over. have a nice day.

    8/10 of the posts in this thread were giving you advice and saying to move on. That may not have been what you wanted to hear, but YOU are the one who asked.
  • sparkly86
    sparkly86 Posts: 520 Member
    Options
    ugh people, she is an 18 yr old lady, respect!
  • dessertlover27
    dessertlover27 Posts: 385 Member
    Options
    .
  • AuntieMC
    AuntieMC Posts: 346 Member
    Options
    bump
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    Options
    So what has he done that's so dirty? Drug addict? Drug dealer? Sex with children? Verbal and physical abuse? If all you're complaining about is that he's a healthy and normal man who hasn't been living like a monk, well, welcome to reality. Don't expect any guy over 16 to be a virgin unless he's super repressed religious, in which case, run like hell, he'll be no fun anyway. It sounds like you're setting up unrealistic expectations. He's done nothing that he needs your "forgiveness" for!

    THIS times infinity! I know one's religion may say that sex is dirty, but come on now!
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    Options
    Mmmhmm
  • YaGigi
    YaGigi Posts: 817 Member
    Options
    ok u all win. i suck. thread: over. have a nice day.

    Oh hon, you don't suck. You are just a different person and have different values than most of the people here.

    If this guy wants to be with you, and he's trully trying hard to be with you, than forgive him for his past mistakes.
    If he doesn't wan to be with you or you can't forget his past and accept him the way he is, so forget him and move on.

    God has a better plan for you. You'll find your love, you will love and will be loved.

    Regarding some harsh comments here, please don't take them personally. Just agree to disagree and move on with your life :)
  • owena535
    owena535 Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    I just want to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you heard of loving kindness practice? This is the main thing that has helped me through times like this. It is not (initially) about forgiving the people who have hurt you, but about directing your mind toward kindness and gentleness with yourself. This practice is not religious and but is used by many people of faith.

    The other thing I have to say is that as I got older, I accepted more and more than love was not about appearances. Appearances and beauty are transient - they fade. Real love can last beyond them. But it took time to accept and internalize that. Young women are given so many messages about hating their faces and bodies, and what you are going through is very common, so know that you are not alone and that many sisters out there are also struggling. Also, you deserve better than a man who values you primarily for how you look, and there are good men out there who care about who women are inside.

    http://www.jackkornfield.com/2011/02/meditation-on-lovingkindness/
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Options
    Wow the mean insecure and might I add jealous ones are out today.....grow up... who would say such disgusting things to an 18yr old who is obviously asking for an opinion?.......
  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
    Options
    Wow the mean insecure and might I add jealous ones are out today.....grow up

    Can you point us to anybody who even seems mean, insecure, or jealous? I didn't see a single post that seemed like any of those things.
  • FatBGone333
    FatBGone333 Posts: 1
    Options
    IT is okay get your motivation from where ever you can. do it for you not for anyone elese. guess what a better one that you deserve will come along. good luck and guess what I do not believe but I care about every living breathing thing. animals I do not eat I love. People I dont eat either joke. try to get you laughing. Good luck PEACE do not torment your self dear it shall pass. You look wonderful.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Options
    Wow the mean insecure and might I add jealous ones are out today.....grow up

    Can you point us to anybody who even seems mean, insecure, or jealous? I didn't see a single post that seemed like any of those things.

    Except the OP...
This discussion has been closed.

Categories