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My date with the person above me was going great until...
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He flirted with my mum..
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She flirted with MY mum! 😭1
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I felt the handcuffs go on0
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He left in handcuffs1
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She wouldn't let me put the handcuffs on her0
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He pulled a badge
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He pulled a hamstring1
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He pulled away and left me standing at the curb1
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he told me he didnt like football or hockey0
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We had to say goodbye.
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until I told him Green Lantern was my 2nd least favorite superhero movie.1
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His first least favorite movie was Wonder Woman starring Muah!
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We fought over who was wonder Woman0
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She made me look bad on leg day.1
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He took me to the gym and said I need to show him my leg routine.1
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She spent the entire night showing me her legs. Wait... What was the question again?1
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He spent the whole time staring at someone else's legs.....1
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She came to dinner wearing a unicorn onesie.
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You said you liked it!!! That it was my best outfit!!0
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she went to the ladies room during dinner and couldn't unzip her onesie...0
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He didn't like my outfit0
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She was always worried about what I was wearing0
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She said she wouldn't wear a matching unicorn onesie....0
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She pulled out the duct tape 0
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He said he didn't want to see my magic trick....0
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She said... Don't worry it'll grow back1
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It didn't grow back0
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I noticed something was missing0
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she beat me at arm wrestling0
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