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Should your S.O./Spouse have a say so if they feel you are too thin or too large?
Replies
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To your point @Golbat , 35 lbs for the first pregnancy plus 20 lbs for the second child (both "high-end" per the link) is "only" 55 lbs.
Women putting on 70+ lbs from having a couple of kids is often a matter of making excuses and rationalizations.
The reality is that the whole "eating for two" thing is a myth and any decent Doctor will tell you that.
My wife didn't even know she was pregnant until she went to the hospital with a "kidney stone".
Her period didn't stop and she gained maybe 10 or 15 lbs.
Daughter was/is completely healthy, if a bit of a surprise originally.
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I'm talking about a scenario where a normal weight woman gets pregnant, gains 35 pounds, then immediately has another pregnancy and gains another 35 pounds. 70 pounds, and then take away the weight of the babies and water weight from the pregnancy, and you're still dealing with someone who is now overweight and will have trouble taking that weight off quickly with two tiny kids.
You said you are unable to have sex with overweight women, so the already overweight women who gets pregnant couldn't happen in your case.
Actually what I said was that I wouldn't have sex with someone who is overweight. You assumed that I meant women.
But let's use your example.
A woman who is at a healthy weight gets pregnant and gains 35 pounds during the pregnancy, she has the baby and then immediately (I'm guessing you're going with two months later since she really shouldn't be having sex until she's healed) gets pregnant again and gains another 35 pounds then has the baby.
Weight gain distribution for a 7.5 lb baby is approximately:
7.5 pounds is about how much the baby will weigh by the end of pregnancy.
1.5 pounds is how much the placenta weighs.
4 pounds is attributed to increased fluid volume.
2 pounds is the weight of the uterus.
2 pounds is the weight of breast tissue.
4 pounds is because of increased blood volume.
12 pounds is attributed to maternal stores of fat, protein and other nutrients.
2 pounds for the amniotic fluid.
Repeat twice, you're up 24 pounds from the beginning, not 70. Losing a pound a week, that would mean less than 6 months after the second birth, she could be back at pre-pregnancy weight. Exercise is totally unnecessary for weight loss. All that matters is a caloric deficit, which can be controlled entirely by diet.
So no, pregnancy is not an excuse to just balloon up by 70 pounds.5 -
I'm the mom of an LGBT kid so I should know better than to make that assumption. Sorry!
Some of the weight does stay with you after you give birth. Talk to 100 moms, and every single one of them will still have weight after they give birth. You're saying every single woman who has a baby is wrong for gaining weight with the pregnancy? I'm saying your assumptions are unrealistic.1 -
I'm the mom of an LGBT kid so I should know better than to make that assumption. Sorry!
Some of the weight does stay with you after you give birth. Talk to 100 moms, and every single one of them will still have weight after they give birth. You're saying every single woman who has a baby is wrong for gaining weight with the pregnancy? I'm saying your assumptions are unrealistic.
And if you look at the weight distribution of the pregnancy gain, it's not even close to half of it if the woman has an average weight full term delivery and stays within the guidelines for normal weight gain for a woman who is not overweight.
There's no possible way that it could represent 70 pounds of leftover weight after a woman who is not overweight gains no more than 35 pounds during two successive pregnancies.
Also, are you now assuming that I'm gay?5 -
You said I shouldn't assume who you're having sex with, and I agree that I should know better than make any assumptions about who anyone has sex with because I'm the mom to an LGBT kid, and you think that means I am assuming you are gay. I just said that I should not make any assumptions, so I am not assuming anything. We appear to not communicate well.9
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You said I shouldn't assume who you're having sex with, and I agree that I should know better than make any assumptions about who anyone has sex with because I'm the mom to an LGBT kid, and you think that means I am assuming you are gay. I just said that I should not make any assumptions, so I am not assuming anything. We appear to not communicate well.
May I ask why that led you to mention LGBT?2 -
You said that I made an assumption about who you would have sex with. You could be a woman. You could be LGBT. There are probably other possibilities as well. I was assuming you were a man and that you were straight. I should not make any assumptions at all, and I should know better to make assumptions about who anyone would have sex with because I have a kid who is LGBT. You seem very concerned about me mentioning my LGBT kid. I don't know or care what your sexuality is or what your gender is, and I will make no assumptions.8
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You said that I made an assumption about who you would have sex with. You could be a woman. You could be LGBT. There are probably other possibilities as well. I was assuming you were a man and that you were straight. I should not make any assumptions at all, and I should know better to make assumptions about who anyone would have sex with because I have a kid who is LGBT. You seem very concerned about me mentioning my LGBT kid. I don't know or care what your sexuality is or what your gender is, and I will make no assumptions.
OK.
How about the math of that magic 70 pound weight gain then?0 -
I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.1
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I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.
If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.7 -
Well this descended into a battle of the sexes quickly.9
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The worst time for me to eat enough quality food to fuel my workouts are on weekends when I don't lift and my schedule isn't set in stone like on the weekdays.Gallowmere1984 wrote: »If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.
It does not take extra time to NOT eat something, no matter how many kids or other distractions / responsibilities you have.
It just takes discipline.
Exercise helps to take the weight off and build muscle but you can lose a pound each week on average by simply not eating what you don't need.
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bad edit1
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Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.
If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.
It's actually pretty easy for me to forget to eat when I'm busy with anything whether it's a video game, going out and doing something, working on the house/yard, washing the car, coding, or pretty much anything that doesn't involve sitting around idle, and I don't snack at all. I'm more likely to glance at my watch while doing yard work and note that it is nearly lunch time, decide to just wait until I've finished up the mowing and raking, and suddenly its four hours later.I think there are three of us in the whole thread. LOL
You, Gallowmere, and who?0 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
Feels like the battle of Thermopylae. Eat hearty lads for tonight we dine in Hell.8 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
I think there are three guys in the whole thread. LOL0 -
@CSARdiver makes three, I thinkheiliskrimsli wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.
If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.
It's actually pretty easy for me to forget to eat when I'm busy with anything whether it's a video game, going out and doing something, working on the house/yard, washing the car, coding, or pretty much anything that doesn't involve sitting around idle, and I don't snack at all. I'm more likely to glance at my watch while doing yard work and note that it is nearly lunch time, decide to just wait until I've finished up the mowing and raking, and suddenly its four hours later.I think there are three of us in the whole thread. LOL
You, Gallowmere, and who?
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Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.
If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.
I'm sure it works that way for some new moms. Probably would for me - I tend to quit eating when stressed.
Others struggle with raging hunger from hormones, and/or stress eating, and/or feel the need eat to help with the pervasive exhaustion. In addition, the ability to regulate one's eating habits is much more difficult when you are sleep deprived, which many new moms are. And that's just considering healthy new moms and babies, no significant complications.
A new baby (really, any stressful situation) can either be a boon or a hindrance when it comes to controlling eating habits.8 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.
If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.
It comes down to prioritizing your day. I've been there with juggling baby, school, husband, managing a house, bills, etc... It's easy to get lost in the routine of things. You put one baby down to sleep and the other one is crying. You seem like you have no time for yourself. Everyone needs come before yourself. You get exhausted quick, and no extra energy to do much else. But once you make getting git and healthy a priority, it will always get lost in the daily hustle of life. You got to MAKE IT HAPPEN.1 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »I never said you'd gain 70 pounds. I said some of that weight is the baby, and some is fluids from the pregnancy. There is still a noticeable weight gain, and it can be hard to take off quickly when you are the main caretaker for a baby.
If anything, I'd imagine that being distracted with a baby should leave less time for one of the big contributors to obesity: boredom eating. Hell, when I'm really busy with something (even video games) I can forget to eat for an entire day.
I'm sure it works that way for some new moms. Probably would for me - I tend to quit eating when stressed.
Others struggle with raging hunger from hormones, and/or stress eating, and/or feel the need eat to help with the pervasive exhaustion. In addition, the ability to regulate one's eating habits is much more difficult when you are sleep deprived, which many new moms are. And that's just considering healthy new moms and babies, no significant complications.
A new baby (really, any stressful situation) can either be a boon or a hindrance when it comes to controlling eating habits.
I'll not go into too much detail to avoid degrading my ex-wife, but let's just say that other than the hormones, I know exactly what you are talking about. However, I did exactly what one would expect, and lost a buttload of weight during the first six months of a child's life.0 -
Is the bickering over and the thread back on topic?
mmm gyro.1 -
drawaimfire wrote: »Is the bickering over and the thread back on topic?
mmm gyro.
I think everyone needed recess after that one. I thought pregnant women were off limits....but I guess not.4 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »drawaimfire wrote: »Is the bickering over and the thread back on topic?
mmm gyro.
I think everyone needed recess after that one. I thought pregnant women were off limits....but I guess not.
They should be even less off limits than anyone else. Their crappy choices could be endangering a life other than their own.6 -
I want gyros now too...AND I'm 33 weeks pregnant.6
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^ This +1000Gallowmere1984 wrote: »They should be even less off limits than anyone else. Their crappy choices could be endangering a life other than their own.
@Gallowmere1984 wins all of the stuff.
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Gallowmere1984 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »drawaimfire wrote: »Is the bickering over and the thread back on topic?
mmm gyro.
I think everyone needed recess after that one. I thought pregnant women were off limits....but I guess not.
They should be even less off limits than anyone else. Their crappy choices could be endangering a life other than their own.
That's the rub, isn't it? That when someone overeats themselves into being enormous, it's not just their own life that's affected. It's their life, their children's lives, the lives of the healthcare workers who have to lift them and risk back injuries that can end their careers, emergency workers who are at increased risk having to help the overweight and obese, and of course their significant others who end up being caretaker to them when they can't bathe themselves, wipe themselves, or even walk anymore.
And it's always avoidable.5 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »drawaimfire wrote: »Is the bickering over and the thread back on topic?
mmm gyro.
I think everyone needed recess after that one. I thought pregnant women were off limits....but I guess not.
They should be even less off limits than anyone else. Their crappy choices could be endangering a life other than their own.
I agree.... But if you and your spouse decide to broaden your family...and she takes her body through those changes to bring a life into this world and she is getting bytched at because she gains weight. WTF? Allow the woman to settle in and get her bearings. The first thing that comes out of a S.O. mouth shouldn't be to lose weight. Geez.11 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »STLBADGIRL wrote: »drawaimfire wrote: »Is the bickering over and the thread back on topic?
mmm gyro.
I think everyone needed recess after that one. I thought pregnant women were off limits....but I guess not.
They should be even less off limits than anyone else. Their crappy choices could be endangering a life other than their own.
I agree.... But if you and your spouse decide to broaden your family...and she takes her body through those changes to bring a life into this world and she is getting bytched at because she gains weight. WTF? Allow the woman to settle in and get her bearings. The first thing that comes out of a S.O. mouth shouldn't be to lose weight. Geez.
Not "gains weight".
Gains more than is medically reasonable to gain. There's a difference.3
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