I'm mad at myself for getting to where I was and I'm mad at other people...
Replies
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »OP, I didn't read the comments, but I remember you from another discussion we had on another thread you posted. You were very aggressive in dismissing all opinions that did not match yours. I don't know if that's how you are in your real life too, but changes are you are. People won't tell you *kitten* if you act like you don't want to hear. That might be a reason.......
There's a difference between me thinking something is ridiculous or not even asking for the opinion and disagreeing with me. I'm honest and blunt. I don't get "angry" but I don't sit around and go "oh ok" either. If I disagree I make it known. But a lot of times people respond to my posts and it literally has nothing to do with the point of the post so it's frustrating. Like part of your comment - somehow this is about what they didn't say rather than what they said and I'm not sure how the point is so easily missed by a lot of people. I keep clarifying - I am being DIScouraged to lose weight. My point was if you're going to comment on someone's lifestyle it should at least be for the right reasons and for their benefit. If that wasn't done, it's just even more irritating that they would come out of the woodwork to complain when I'm being healthier.0 -
i only read to the first page, but you didn't need new clothes after gaining 40lbs?! really?! if i gain more than 5lbs (of actual fat not water weight) most of my trousers stop fitting!1
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Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »OP, I didn't read the comments, but I remember you from another discussion we had on another thread you posted. You were very aggressive in dismissing all opinions that did not match yours. I don't know if that's how you are in your real life too, but changes are you are. People won't tell you *kitten* if you act like you don't want to hear. That might be a reason.......
There's a difference between me thinking something is ridiculous or not even asking for the opinion and disagreeing with me. I'm honest and blunt. I don't get "angry" but I don't sit around and go "oh ok" either. If I disagree I make it known. But a lot of times people respond to my posts and it literally has nothing to do with the point of the post so it's frustrating. Like part of your comment - somehow this is about what they didn't say rather than what they said and I'm not sure how the point is so easily missed by a lot of people. I keep clarifying - I am being DIScouraged to lose weight. My point was if you're going to comment on someone's lifestyle it should at least be for the right reasons and for their benefit. If that wasn't done, it's just even more irritating that they would come out of the woodwork to complain when I'm being healthier.
Okay...so there's two reasons why someone would discourage you from losing weight:
1. They don't know any better
2. They are trying to sabotage you on purpose.
If it's the first one. You can't be mad at them
If it's the second one, you need to remove them from your life.
Either way, you are the one responsible for making decisions about your body. Others have opinions, and like you said you are not one to just say "okay whatever you say". So if you made the decision to follow their opinion, wasnt that your decision after all?1 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »OP, I didn't read the comments, but I remember you from another discussion we had on another thread you posted. You were very aggressive in dismissing all opinions that did not match yours. I don't know if that's how you are in your real life too, but changes are you are. People won't tell you *kitten* if you act like you don't want to hear. That might be a reason.......
There's a difference between me thinking something is ridiculous or not even asking for the opinion and disagreeing with me. I'm honest and blunt. I don't get "angry" but I don't sit around and go "oh ok" either. If I disagree I make it known. But a lot of times people respond to my posts and it literally has nothing to do with the point of the post so it's frustrating. Like part of your comment - somehow this is about what they didn't say rather than what they said and I'm not sure how the point is so easily missed by a lot of people. I keep clarifying - I am being DIScouraged to lose weight. My point was if you're going to comment on someone's lifestyle it should at least be for the right reasons and for their benefit. If that wasn't done, it's just even more irritating that they would come out of the woodwork to complain when I'm being healthier.
Okay...so there's two reasons why someone would discourage you from losing weight:
1. They don't know any better
2. They are trying to sabotage you on purpose.
If it's the first one. You can't be mad at them
If it's the second one, you need to remove them from your life.
Either way, you are the one responsible for making decisions about your body. Others have opinions, and like you said you are not one to just say "okay whatever you say". So if you made the decision to follow their opinion, wasnt that your decision after all?
Of course, I didn't make that decision. Even if I remove them from my life I still need to vent - hence the post. This is a forum for support so the kind of place to get things out of your system to keep you on track, right? Well, I needed to do that. It's not like I could complain at my kids who are pretty much my only other company lol Well I could but theyre 6, 5 and 2 and that would just be weird.0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »i only read to the first page, but you didn't need new clothes after gaining 40lbs?! really?! if i gain more than 5lbs (of actual fat not water weight) most of my trousers stop fitting!
Since you didn't read all the comments you most likely didn't see the explanation but I was in a wheelchair for 5 months and I had multiple casts so I couldn't wear things like jeans. I didn't leave the house at all for months, excluding rare dr visits and they didn't take my weight. I was wearing drawstring/very loose pants or big loose leggings to fit them over my cast. I also was in the house so I was wearing what was comfortable - xl/xxl shirts and I was a size S/M so I really couldn't notice because the shirts were still big even with the weight gain, so they just felt big. I had no mirror either except chest up. If I had, I probably would have noticed. But anyway I dont care so much about that as the fact that these people dont seem to want me to feel good and get healthy, but they instead discourage healthy changes. I find it strange. And yes it does seem to be their own insecurities mostly but its still angering because I personally dont understand that bringing people down with you thought process.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »OP, I didn't read the comments, but I remember you from another discussion we had on another thread you posted. You were very aggressive in dismissing all opinions that did not match yours. I don't know if that's how you are in your real life too, but changes are you are. People won't tell you *kitten* if you act like you don't want to hear. That might be a reason.......
There's a difference between me thinking something is ridiculous or not even asking for the opinion and disagreeing with me. I'm honest and blunt. I don't get "angry" but I don't sit around and go "oh ok" either. If I disagree I make it known. But a lot of times people respond to my posts and it literally has nothing to do with the point of the post so it's frustrating. Like part of your comment - somehow this is about what they didn't say rather than what they said and I'm not sure how the point is so easily missed by a lot of people. I keep clarifying - I am being DIScouraged to lose weight. My point was if you're going to comment on someone's lifestyle it should at least be for the right reasons and for their benefit. If that wasn't done, it's just even more irritating that they would come out of the woodwork to complain when I'm being healthier.
Okay...so there's two reasons why someone would discourage you from losing weight:
1. They don't know any better
2. They are trying to sabotage you on purpose.
If it's the first one. You can't be mad at them
If it's the second one, you need to remove them from your life.
Either way, you are the one responsible for making decisions about your body. Others have opinions, and like you said you are not one to just say "okay whatever you say". So if you made the decision to follow their opinion, wasnt that your decision after all?
Of course, I didn't make that decision. Even if I remove them from my life I still need to vent - hence the post. This is a forum for support so the kind of place to get things out of your system to keep you on track, right? Well, I needed to do that. It's not like I could complain at my kids who are pretty much my only other company lol Well I could but theyre 6, 5 and 2 and that would just be weird.
Agree.
However support is not only " OMG I am so sorry you had to go through that". Support is also telling you that your mindset is not on the point, or "correcting" you.
I myself give more thought to the ones that are trying to "correct me" than the ones that agree with me. You don't change or grow if you are not open to opposite opinions, and not focus on the way they were delivered.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »OP, I didn't read the comments, but I remember you from another discussion we had on another thread you posted. You were very aggressive in dismissing all opinions that did not match yours. I don't know if that's how you are in your real life too, but changes are you are. People won't tell you *kitten* if you act like you don't want to hear. That might be a reason.......
There's a difference between me thinking something is ridiculous or not even asking for the opinion and disagreeing with me. I'm honest and blunt. I don't get "angry" but I don't sit around and go "oh ok" either. If I disagree I make it known. But a lot of times people respond to my posts and it literally has nothing to do with the point of the post so it's frustrating. Like part of your comment - somehow this is about what they didn't say rather than what they said and I'm not sure how the point is so easily missed by a lot of people. I keep clarifying - I am being DIScouraged to lose weight. My point was if you're going to comment on someone's lifestyle it should at least be for the right reasons and for their benefit. If that wasn't done, it's just even more irritating that they would come out of the woodwork to complain when I'm being healthier.
Okay...so there's two reasons why someone would discourage you from losing weight:
1. They don't know any better
2. They are trying to sabotage you on purpose.
If it's the first one. You can't be mad at them
If it's the second one, you need to remove them from your life.
Either way, you are the one responsible for making decisions about your body. Others have opinions, and like you said you are not one to just say "okay whatever you say". So if you made the decision to follow their opinion, wasnt that your decision after all?
Of course, I didn't make that decision. Even if I remove them from my life I still need to vent - hence the post. This is a forum for support so the kind of place to get things out of your system to keep you on track, right? Well, I needed to do that. It's not like I could complain at my kids who are pretty much my only other company lol Well I could but theyre 6, 5 and 2 and that would just be weird.
Agree.
However support is not only " OMG I am so sorry you had to go through that". Support is also telling you that your mindset is not on the point, or "correcting" you.
I myself give more thought to the ones that are trying to "correct me" than the ones that agree with me. You don't change or grow if you are not open to opposite opinions, and not focus on the way they were delivered.
Except obviously what I said was taken wrong. lol. Ill work on that but Im not very clear when Im upset. All I was trying to say is I'm upset because if you are going to open your mouth about someone's health please make it for a good reason instead of trying to put them down a negative path. It makes me angry that people I considered friends would want to discourage me and not be happy for me. I don't get it. I was big but when I saw friends getting healthier I felt happy for them and thought "hey maybe I will do that too". I love following weight loss journeys and seeing the progress people have made - even if I am left in the dust still struggling. I get so frustrated with humankind in general though and their ability to be so friggin selfish. And I am open to opposite opinions on certain topics, but if I think it is against my best interest I stand my ground harshly mainly because I have been walked on in the past due to being too timid so I've taken to a new approach. I may be rough around the edges, but it's the only way I can protect myself now. After being taken advantage of for a decade it gets exhausting. And youre very kind and polite right now and I have no issues with you see lol so I do have things I will listen to but if I think 100% it's not good for me or I feel somehow the comment/advice might damage my progress if I pay it any attention I might get defensive without realizing. As I said I also have a history of ED so certain things make me panic like if someone suggests "eat less" when I've already admitted I'm eating the minimum, it's a very bad idea. I also eat less when depressed because I can't stomach food. I have been down the last few days and missed my target badly for example and I'm trying but I'm so out of sorts. But just one example of a comment that might bother me because I know what's best for me so if I say please leave this topic alone, I hope people will respect that.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »i only read to the first page, but you didn't need new clothes after gaining 40lbs?! really?! if i gain more than 5lbs (of actual fat not water weight) most of my trousers stop fitting!
Since you didn't read all the comments you most likely didn't see the explanation but I was in a wheelchair for 5 months and I had multiple casts so I couldn't wear things like jeans. I didn't leave the house at all for months, excluding rare dr visits and they didn't take my weight. I was wearing drawstring/very loose pants or big loose leggings to fit them over my cast. I also was in the house so I was wearing what was comfortable - xl/xxl shirts and I was a size S/M so I really couldn't notice because the shirts were still big even with the weight gain, so they just felt big. I had no mirror either except chest up. If I had, I probably would have noticed. But anyway I dont care so much about that as the fact that these people dont seem to want me to feel good and get healthy, but they instead discourage healthy changes. I find it strange. And yes it does seem to be their own insecurities mostly but its still angering because I personally dont understand that bringing people down with you thought process.
that 'bringing people down with you' mentality is pretty much human nature unfortunately! people are mean.
you cant win though when it comes to commenting on weight if you look at MFP forum posts -
comment on someone gaining weight, you're a terrible person who only cares about physical attraction,
comment on someone's weight loss and you're a terrible person for implying they were hugely fat in the first place
comment on someones weight loss and you should have told them they were fat in the first place
don't comment on someones weight loss and you're a terrible person for not being supportive
don't tell someone they're fat and you're a terrible person for not telling them they were fat
:laugh:4 -
Oh. And also posting on forums is like talking to a man. Have you ever tried to get a man to just listen without trying to fix everything?
https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg 2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »Oh. And also posting on forums is like talking to a man. Have you ever tried to get a man to just listen without trying to fix everything?https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
IMO That's pretty sexist/generalizing plus not accurate. I don't believe in that whatsoever. My BF doesn't do that at all. lol. I'm more the type to do that, actually. Yeah, I know, hypocritical. My boyfriend doesn't give any input or advice unless he's directly asked for it. He just listens and says "sorry" or "okay" usually unless you ask for his opinion. Maybe I'm lucky but I also just don't generalize people based on gender (race or anything else)0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »i only read to the first page, but you didn't need new clothes after gaining 40lbs?! really?! if i gain more than 5lbs (of actual fat not water weight) most of my trousers stop fitting!
Since you didn't read all the comments you most likely didn't see the explanation but I was in a wheelchair for 5 months and I had multiple casts so I couldn't wear things like jeans. I didn't leave the house at all for months, excluding rare dr visits and they didn't take my weight. I was wearing drawstring/very loose pants or big loose leggings to fit them over my cast. I also was in the house so I was wearing what was comfortable - xl/xxl shirts and I was a size S/M so I really couldn't notice because the shirts were still big even with the weight gain, so they just felt big. I had no mirror either except chest up. If I had, I probably would have noticed. But anyway I dont care so much about that as the fact that these people dont seem to want me to feel good and get healthy, but they instead discourage healthy changes. I find it strange. And yes it does seem to be their own insecurities mostly but its still angering because I personally dont understand that bringing people down with you thought process.
that 'bringing people down with you' mentality is pretty much human nature unfortunately! people are mean.
you cant win though when it comes to commenting on weight if you look at MFP forum posts -
comment on someone gaining weight, you're a terrible person who only cares about physical attraction,
comment on someone's weight loss and you're a terrible person for implying they were hugely fat in the first place
comment on someones weight loss and you should have told them they were fat in the first place
don't comment on someones weight loss and you're a terrible person for not being supportive
don't tell someone they're fat and you're a terrible person for not telling them they were fat
:laugh:
Lol. So strange. I don't think all of those are true (for me although yes maybe for MFP I see weird stuff on here). I think there are certain ways you need to say things though. I would never think or say "Wow, baby. You're starting to look like a beached whale - better put down that sandwich!" But I would ask "Have you gained a little bit?" or "I wish you'd eat healthier sometimes. I want to have a long life with you."0 -
I am way fat and my husband won't ever say that to me because I've been fat forever, lol. I know. My man has been thin his whole life and this is his heaviest and he doesn't like it. He loses is so easy, he is lucky. He is down to 185 from 215lbs. He looks great, but he starts to fall back into bad habits & hes goes back up.
So when he gains weight, I do tell him but he gets upset with me because it hurts his feelings, but I tell him that I'm not telling him because I hate him or anything, I tell him because I love him. Besides that, his family hates me & blames me for anything in his life that isn't perfect, lol, oh well! So I do gotta help him get focused again, for himself, no one else, even tho i gotta be the bad guy at times.
You say you're overweight and he doesn't point that out. Probably because its not necessary to, and for some people who have self esteem issues, it doesn't help, further more the man loves you, he's not going to break you down like that and the comment about everyone blaming you why things don't go right in his life, he chosen you, he chooses you, f what everyone else thinks.0 -
I just can't understand you being mad at other people for you gaining weight. It seems you have made every excuse but taken zero personal responsibility.
I don't blame anyone else for my weight gain. I also don't give anyone else credit for when I lose it.1 -
I go the other way... I would be pretty offended and hurt if someone said something to me about my weight. When I was growing up my Dad would make comments about what I ate and make a big deal about things like that... it didn't stop me from overeating- it just made me dislike my Dad.
Comments about weight loss are much appreciated, comments about getting fat- not so much.
Although, I have never had anyone tell me that I am too thin, or that I don't need to lose weight... I'm not sure how I would react to that if I were in your place.0 -
Butts_Boys_and_Burgers_ohmy wrote: »I just can't understand you being mad at other people for you gaining weight. It seems you have made every excuse but taken zero personal responsibility.
I don't blame anyone else for my weight gain. I also don't give anyone else credit for when I lose it.
You obviously didnt get the post at all. I didnt blame anyone for my weight. Im not sure what you read but it wasnt this post.0 -
Domomallow wrote: »I go the other way... I would be pretty offended and hurt if someone said something to me about my weight. When I was growing up my Dad would make comments about what I ate and make a big deal about things like that... it didn't stop me from overeating- it just made me dislike my Dad.
Comments about weight loss are much appreciated, comments about getting fat- not so much.
Although, I have never had anyone tell me that I am too thin, or that I don't need to lose weight... I'm not sure how I would react to that if I were in your place.
It's less kind than that. It's hard to convey online but it's with disgust. Like they're upset that I'm losing weight. But anyway I understand if someone was mean about your weight. If it was conveyed properly with love maybe it wouldn't be so bad? It shouldn't be made a big deal.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Domomallow wrote: »I go the other way... I would be pretty offended and hurt if someone said something to me about my weight. When I was growing up my Dad would make comments about what I ate and make a big deal about things like that... it didn't stop me from overeating- it just made me dislike my Dad.
Comments about weight loss are much appreciated, comments about getting fat- not so much.
Although, I have never had anyone tell me that I am too thin, or that I don't need to lose weight... I'm not sure how I would react to that if I were in your place.
It's less kind than that. It's hard to convey online but it's with disgust. Like they're upset that I'm losing weight. But anyway I understand if someone was mean about your weight. If it was conveyed properly with love maybe it wouldn't be so bad? It shouldn't be made a big deal.
I suppose it depends how well you take criticism from others. I've never been fond of the practice.
It sounds like you're getting enough criticism anyway, and for the wrong reasons.
Keep your chin up- Only you know if you are eating and exercising the right ways and doing what your body needs to be healthy.1 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »Oh. And also posting on forums is like talking to a man. Have you ever tried to get a man to just listen without trying to fix everything?https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
IMO That's pretty sexist/generalizing plus not accurate. I don't believe in that whatsoever. My BF doesn't do that at all. lol. I'm more the type to do that, actually. Yeah, I know, hypocritical. My boyfriend doesn't give any input or advice unless he's directly asked for it. He just listens and says "sorry" or "okay" usually unless you ask for his opinion. Maybe I'm lucky but I also just don't generalize people based on gender (race or anything else)
He is well trained0 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »Oh. And also posting on forums is like talking to a man. Have you ever tried to get a man to just listen without trying to fix everything?https://youtu.be/-4EDhdAHrOg
IMO That's pretty sexist/generalizing plus not accurate. I don't believe in that whatsoever. My BF doesn't do that at all. lol. I'm more the type to do that, actually. Yeah, I know, hypocritical. My boyfriend doesn't give any input or advice unless he's directly asked for it. He just listens and says "sorry" or "okay" usually unless you ask for his opinion. Maybe I'm lucky but I also just don't generalize people based on gender (race or anything else)
He is well trained
I doubt it. It's just his personality in general. He's very quiet/introverted. I like it. lol. I'm all over the place (not really introverted or extroverted...it depends on the situation). It's nice to have someone around who is closer to stable lmso or I guess predictable.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »Butts_Boys_and_Burgers_ohmy wrote: »I just can't understand you being mad at other people for you gaining weight. It seems you have made every excuse but taken zero personal responsibility.
I don't blame anyone else for my weight gain. I also don't give anyone else credit for when I lose it.
You obviously didnt get the post at all. I didnt blame anyone for my weight. Im not sure what you read but it wasnt this post.
The title of your post: "im-mad-at-myself-for-getting-to-where-i-was-and-im-mad-at-other-people"
You outright blame other people for not telling you that you gained weight. What am I not getting?0 -
Butts_Boys_and_Burgers_ohmy wrote: »Verity1111 wrote: »Butts_Boys_and_Burgers_ohmy wrote: »I just can't understand you being mad at other people for you gaining weight. It seems you have made every excuse but taken zero personal responsibility.
I don't blame anyone else for my weight gain. I also don't give anyone else credit for when I lose it.
You obviously didnt get the post at all. I didnt blame anyone for my weight. Im not sure what you read but it wasnt this post.
The title of your post: "im-mad-at-myself-for-getting-to-where-i-was-and-im-mad-at-other-people"
You outright blame other people for not telling you that you gained weight. What am I not getting?
I get that from just the title, but you left out more than half of the post. I used "..." at the end of the title as in the rest didn't fit. "for not pointing out when I was gaining a lot of weight. It wouldn't matter if it weren't for the fact that people won't hesitate to tell you that you're getting thin (even if you're healthy) or comment that you're not eating enough"
The "It wouldn't matter if..." is the part a lot of people don't understand.
I am mad at other people for something different - for discouraging my weight loss (and in an irrate manner). If they wanted to comment on my weight or tell me what to do it would have been nice if they'd said "hey, you're getting unhealthy" vs their choice to roll their eyes and complain that I am dieting and won't order out often etc. Meaning IF you are going to be commenting and being pushy at least do it for the right reasons. Hey it would have been helpful even! But to discourage progress is horrible and stressful.
Anyway it's done and over I just needed to vent... 0 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »1) Maybe they didn't think you were fat?
2) Maybe they didn't notice anything worth commenting on?
3) Maybe they felt it was none of their business?
4) Maybe they don't care?
5) Maybe you should just do you?
And (6) Maybe they saw you overeating and thought that was your normal.
0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »I think the only people that I would talk to about their unhealthy weight gain is family. I routinely see a very obese person and shake my head because I know that they can reverse it. I also think about all pain suffering and expense it will cause. I realize that in most cases I can not change the world but I can set a good example.
I am talking about family and people I know pretty well. They seem to want me (and other people as well) to gain weight because they had no issue with that but I can be overweight and I'm told I don't need to lose weight and discouraged from it.
How old are you? All those who have commented got the point - so what's your point? Just do what you know you need to do and get one with it. Are you in the mood to be angry with someone? That's okay - as long as you don't dwell in a dark place.0 -
jwcanfield wrote: »snickerscharlie wrote: »1) Maybe they didn't think you were fat?
2) Maybe they didn't notice anything worth commenting on?
3) Maybe they felt it was none of their business?
4) Maybe they don't care?
5) Maybe you should just do you?
And (6) Maybe they saw you overeating and thought that was your normal.
Again it's more so that if they wanted to tell me what to do that would have been the time to say stop not now when I'm doing positive things. Telling me to stop or being angry that I am not eating tons of junk is frustrating.0 -
All of these posts turn into train wrecks...3
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laurenebargar wrote: »All of these posts turn into train wrecks...
Meh. Doesn't matter to me. I needed to get it out of my system and I did. lol. Even if it was misunderstood.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »
If no one is getting your point, it's usually because you're not communicating it clearly. Maybe it just needs to be rephrased?
1 -
People don't say something for a lot of reasons. One, I assume that if someone has gained weight, they realized it long before I did, much like as I've been losing weight, few people have noticed or commented on it. I also don't want to body shame anyone. You don't know what someone is going through - they could have an illness, or be on medication that causes weight gain. People with bipolar disorder can gain weight due to medication, as can people trying to get pregnant. I don't want to make them feel like crap about how they look and cause emotional injury in reminding them of the side effects of an already trying time.
When I was stressed out with grad school, I was eating whatever was fast and easy (mostly burgers and fries), and trips to the gym were the first thing I cut from my schedule. I gained weight. I knew it, but until my loosest pants started to get tight, I didn't quite realize how bad it was. I was disgusted with myself because it took me a year to lose 18 pounds, and I had just undone all of that. But you know what? When I told my husband how I was feeling, he smiled at me, told me he supported me, and said that I was beautiful. As I started losing weight and toning my muscles, he proudly told me that he could see my body was changing and that I am beautiful. The people who care about you care about your health - but that's not just about physical health. It's about wanting you to feel good about yourself and know that their love is unconditional.1 -
People don't say something for a lot of reasons. One, I assume that if someone has gained weight, they realized it long before I did, much like as I've been losing weight, few people have noticed or commented on it. I also don't want to body shame anyone. You don't know what someone is going through - they could have an illness, or be on medication that causes weight gain. People with bipolar disorder can gain weight due to medication, as can people trying to get pregnant. I don't want to make them feel like crap about how they look and cause emotional injury in reminding them of the side effects of an already trying time.
When I was stressed out with grad school, I was eating whatever was fast and easy (mostly burgers and fries), and trips to the gym were the first thing I cut from my schedule. I gained weight. I knew it, but until my loosest pants started to get tight, I didn't quite realize how bad it was. I was disgusted with myself because it took me a year to lose 18 pounds, and I had just undone all of that. But you know what? When I told my husband how I was feeling, he smiled at me, told me he supported me, and said that I was beautiful. As I started losing weight and toning my muscles, he proudly told me that he could see my body was changing and that I am beautiful. The people who care about you care about your health - but that's not just about physical health. It's about wanting you to feel good about yourself and know that their love is unconditional.
Yes but your husband sounds sweet. He supported you when you also did good things for your health - which is not the case here with the people I was referring too. And obviously, I had the wrong people around me.0 -
Verity1111 wrote: »
If no one is getting your point, it's usually because you're not communicating it clearly. Maybe it just needs to be rephrased?
Yes probably. I was mad as I said. People aren't usually very clear when mad. I thought it was clear when I said "It wouldn't matter if" meaning I wouldn't expect people to say anything when I was gaining, except for the fact that they instead speak up when I'm getting healthier and complain about it. That's the point lol0
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