WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2017

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  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,708 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Mary~ you look wonderful~ I agree with everyone.. I would look for another hairdresser. if you are happy with the way you look, than that is all that matters <3
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,753 Member
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    Mary... Mary ... Mary .... why in the world are you letting this person get into your head? You look wonderful and are an inspiration to many of us. Given this person is a "friend" and must have known about your illness, I find her comments rude and insensitive. Friends are to lift us up, not tear us down ... sometimes people take friendship as a license to say whatever they like. If you value her friendship, then talk to her about how she made you feel. Otherwise, let it go and focus on what you know to be true. And Shep has grown into his ears!!
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,056 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Mary sometimes when students complain to me about something a friend says to them I will say you know that is not true and do not let them have your power. I have observed that in children that if they see they upset you it eggs them on to do it again. This concept is foreign to me because I like to think I stop if I upset someone. I need to remember not everyone thinks the same way I do. So if you find you do need to go back to her for the reasons you explained remember she is wrong.

    When you smile because you know she is wrong it will give power without having to say a thing. You did the right thing by removing yourself from the equation. Interesting they stopped once you left the room.

    Now I just need to follow my own advice when it happens to me. LOL
  • mikesmom1983
    mikesmom1983 Posts: 582 Member
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    bwcetc wrote: »
    Mary... Mary ... Mary .... why in the world are you letting this person get into your head? You look wonderful and are an inspiration to many of us. Given this person is a "friend" and must have known about your illness, I find her comments rude and insensitive. Friends are to lift us up, not tear us down ... sometimes people take friendship as a license to say whatever they like. If you value her friendship, then talk to her about how she made you feel. Otherwise, let it go and focus on what you know to be true. And Shep has grown into his ears!!

    Mary, I agree with what everyone else is saying especially that you are a true inspiration. You are the first one to cheer us on and support us in spite of all the adversity you've been going thru. I think you are a fabulous, beautiful sexy woman, inside and out. I am so sorry she said those hurtful things to you, it must have been shocking and devastating . Only you can decide to talk to her about it, but i think if you want to continue to go to her you should clear the air or you would be so angry, resentful and uncomfortable at future visits. Perhaps a phone call to her explaining how hurt you are would be the best approach, she may not realize how her words hurt you. I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and a chance to redeem themselves before cutting them out of my life.

    Just my 2 cents.

    Chris in MA
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
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    Mary, you have one not rockin body. Are you older? Yes but you don't look like you have aged. I am so glad you put up a picture of Shep. I hadn't seen him in a long time.

    Temps are finally cool here now. I think it is still some of the effects of Cindy. Charlie is out mowing the yard. I can't wait to get the landscapers out here and get rid of our weeds. Also the cats love this cool. Weather as I leave the patio door open for them.

    Took Mr Mozart to the vet today to finish his vaccinations. He is up to date now until another year. We also talked about spdeclawing him. Vet said there is one vet in the office that is the best in doing it, has smaller incisions and can do it quicker. They also do a laser procedure the day after to help in he healing. So I would imagine we will schedule it. He uses anything in site as a scratching post, the mattresses, furniture, c,I bus up the drapes, etc. he knows what the blue spray bottle is and immediately stops but still the damage is done. And boy does he hate being in the car. When I took him the first time he was in the pet carrier and meows so loud it was piercing. So today Charlie had so,e errands to do and dropped me off, so I just helped him. Still meowed terribly. I took him over to the neighbors and he was a perfect gentleman until he wanted to get down. Oh, he is now 4 pounds 4 ounces and beautiful with one gorgeous tail.

    Joyce, indiana
  • pyanko7
    pyanko7 Posts: 153 Member
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    Kelly - love Joaquin's hair do. What a cutie!

    Mary - I think you look fantastic. Forget her comments, you have friends here.

    Hugs ladies. Take care of yourselves.

    Paula Y.
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,118 Member
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    Thanks everybody for the advice! She is the last person on earth that I would have thought would have said anything derogatory about anyone. Yet, I felt like she was being a very mean bully to me. You know how you have things about yourself that to you are not perfect but you never expect somebody to point them out to you. For example I lost 2 inches on each of my biceps and my arms in my opinion are very toned/muscular but under certain lighting you could see that my skin needs to tighten up a bit. And I mean just a very little bit. She made me feel like I should be wearing long sleeve shirts in the summertime. So I think the reason that I feel so bad is that she pointed out all of the things that do bother me and she made me want to crawl into a corner and hide. I'm just going to let her know at my next visit how what she said really hurt my feelings. It wasn't just my body that she was criticizing she wanted to cut my hair to my shoulders, she was even criticizing my workouts and how I lost my weight. Questions that she was asking me about not that I was telling her about. I have already found out that most people do not want to hear about what you are doing that's why these threads and this site are so good for us to communicate on.

    Thanks for letting me vent!

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota
  • IremiaRe
    IremiaRe Posts: 801 Member
    edited June 2017
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    klanders30 wrote: »
    mary you look so healthy and fit, sounds like jealousy to me. Time for a new hair stylist, cause she's got problems! NYKAREN

    Yep - my advice, too - get a new stylist! Honey, you look FANTASTIC - which is probably why she was so catty. How anyone could criticize working out as a way to lose weight? Clearly she was having a crazy moment. And don't you dare change one single thing because of anything she said...

    Forget about her... you look great. I want to be you when I grow up!

    Hugs!!

    Re in TX
  • IremiaRe
    IremiaRe Posts: 801 Member
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    klanders30 wrote: »
    So how do we feel about the new button next to awesome?! Woo!!!
    NYKAREN

    I am thinking it is short for Woo Hoo! I like it.

  • IremiaRe
    IremiaRe Posts: 801 Member
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    Hello, Hot Honeys!

    I just stopped in to wave at everybody and keep up on my reading. Hope you are all having a fabulous evening (or morning, depending on where you are!)

    Love you guys!

    Re in TX
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,554 Member
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    stats for the day:

    **wahoo hrm not recording right all the time :0/ **

    bike ride hm 2 gym- 11.40min. 136mhr, 15mph, 2.9mi = 104c
    apple watch- 98c
    Plyometrics exercises- 24.30min, 3ets of 10each, squats w/jump, single leg toe touches, ceiling to fl single leg touches, push-ups, hamstring leglifts, crunches, sit-ups, reverse bicycles, leg lift, all 4's elbow to knee, pelvic lifts- 136mhr = 122c
    apple watch- 136c
    SPIN CLASS- 21min, 90ar, 102aw, 10-11g, 150mhr, 9.3mi = 175c
    apple watch- 163c
    bike ride gym 2 dome- 5.14min, 16.1amph, 139mhr. 1.4mi = 61c
    apple- 42c
    bike ride from puyallup 2 sumn station- 14.34min, 12.5amph, 146mhr, 3mi= 140c
    apple watch- 117c
    jog station 2 wk- 5.08min, 9.50min mi, 180mhr, .5mi = 75c
    apple watch- 55c
    jog wk 2 sta- 5.10min, 9.41min mi, 156mhr, .5mi = 60c
    apple watch- 56c
    bike ride dome 2 hm- 19.35min, 8amph, 150mhr, 2.6mi = 179c
    apple watch- 149c

    total cal 916
  • Poerava14
    Poerava14 Posts: 1,064 Member
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    Mary: (((hugs))) Agree with all the others that you look amazing. Such a shame that someone you have considered a friend could say something so hurtful. Bless and release. How much of your hair did she ultimately cut off?

    NYKaren: Kudos on getting that resume written and taking a step towards your next venture. Hope it all works out beautifully.

    Re: I'm glad that ring found its way back to you.

    Allie: Adding my energy to the tsunami of support beaming your way. Stay strong. Crank up your Calm app!

    I continue to do well with exercise and haven't had any alcohol since last May. Food choices are predominantly clean, except sweets are still my downfall, and even small, measured quantities make my metabolism grind to a halt. Arrgggghhh. Downloaded "Younger Next Year" from the library in hopes that it will motivate me to clean up my diet. Would love to shed 3-4 pounds before going to Europe in October.

    Stay well, friends. We can do this.

    Rori
    Colorado Foothills
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,925 Member
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    :) I decided that I wanted to put bark mulch on more of my yard so Jake said he'd get his friend with a pickup to go to Wal Mart with us so we could buy eight more bags (I've already spread 14 of the 16 we already had). I looked online and found that my local Wal Mart had what I wanted for $2.50 a bag. When we got to the store, the sign said that it was $3.47 a bag. I told the cashier what it said online and showed her the photo I took of the sign the last time I bought it. I was so excited when she said she'd do a price override and charge me $2.50 a bag. I am not always good at speaking up for myself. Also cheers to Wal Mart.

    :) Jake has been helping me move rocks in the front. He can work only for about 30 minutes at a time but it has made a huge difference. He keeps saying that it's my project and then volunteering to help.

    :)Rori, I hope you like "Younger Next Year" as much as I did. Did you get the one for women?

    :)Jennie, welcome. You're bound to find several women on this thread with challenges similar to yours no matter what they are. Keep coming back.

    <3 Barbie from beautiful not too hot NW Washington
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
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    Mary from Minnesota – Sounds like it is time to change hairdressers. I have NO idea why she’d be that ‘ugly’ to a paying customer. Must be jealous. I’d find a new hairdresser and never look back! You look great in my opinion. We know you've been quite ill and she should have known that, if you had known one another for 20 years. I know I changed hairdressers after I had one laugh at me and tell me after a really bad experience, that I needed to watch “One Flew Over the Coo Coo’s Nest!” I told her, ‘no thanks, I had had all the ‘nurse Ratchets’ that I ever intended to’. I’ve never watched the movie, I can’t get past Jack Nicholson and the 2nd set of slamming locking doors. Besides, she preferred her ‘men’ clients over women and it was obvious. I had made an appointment and when I got there the doors were locked. I had waited weeks for this appointment, so I walked across the street and asked ‘if’ anyone could cut my hair (I was going to do something drastic to it if I could not get it cut). They told me that they did not take ‘walk-ins’. I burst into tears and one of them lead me over to her chair and told me she would do it. She was just getting off. Went to her for a long time, until she got pregnant and took a break. I now have a woman who can cut my hair the way that Tami’s (DDnL#2) co-worker cut it last year. I need to call and make an appointment, it’s getting a little too long for me now.

    I would have gotten up and ‘left’ (and bitten my tongue in two, chewing on some nails); she would not have been paid to insult me. I certainly would not recommend her to anyone. So far, I have not had anyone ‘body shame’ me; but, I also believe that ‘what other people think of me is none of my business’. Hopefully they won’t try to make it so. If she will say anything to a ‘paying’ customer, then, no telling what she says about friends, if she has any.

    Are you saying that she is the only ‘hairdresser’ at that salon; or the only one in town where your daughter lives?

    Sometimes ‘friendships’ and ‘working relationships’ or ‘even family dynamics’ change and it sometimes takes one being ‘rude’ or ‘curt’ to the other for there to be a ‘divide’ that just cannot be bridged. I’ve found this to be true in a lot of situations. It can be hurtful; but, sometimes it is ‘just time to move on’. Don’t let it hurt you to the point that YOUR health suffers. It's like when it concerns children being friends … occasionally, that can present problems ‘if the two of them have a falling out’. Her way of ‘getting back at you for something that got said between her daughter and yours’, maybe?

    My granddaughters kept changing ‘social networking sites’ because my DDnL#1 kept making ‘friends’ with ‘their friends and then with their parents’. DDnL#1 doesn’t ‘think’ before she puts her 'mouth into motion'. Some of the things she would say to the parents of the friend or even boyfriend (especially if they broke up) was embarrassing to the girls. I finally told her that she needed to ‘leave them alone, and let them work out their differences, even if it meant they got their hearts broken’. She could NOT fix everything, and sometimes she was only making matters worse!

    My DDnL#1 is a ‘big girl’ and when I started losing weight, she started going to a ‘diet doctor’ (the kind that restricts what you eat and gives you a lot of vitamins and supplements’). She wasn’t really willing just to change her eating habits; and, while she lost, as soon as they could not afford for her to go (when she walked out of a job and lost it). She really started making remarks about me losing weight and how she couldn’t; most of the people that went on that restrictive of a diet, when the go off, they gain what they lost and a lot of times more. This happened to her. But, when your meals consists of a meat, and 3 starchy vegetable and you load your plate 2x’s chances are ‘you aren’t going to lose'. Now, my husband nor I make ‘any’ comments to any of them, good, bad, or indifferent about weight – theirs or mine. My other DDnL(#1) says that Will is ‘so proud of me for losing the weight I have’. My DOS rarely says anything about my weight … period. I know it is because of his ‘wife’ (DDnL#1). But, he hugs me a lot and says there is less to hug; but, my heart hasn't lost any weight. It is still 'full of love' for all my kids. Grown or not.

    I complimented on her hair style on Father’s Day – she had ‘scrunched’ it … to me, a lot softer hairdo than when it is bone straight. Trey looked up in the mirror and said, ‘FINALLY, SOMEONE AGREED WITH ME’! She looked at him and then over at me – she isn’t ever sure about what I say as it is. She’s pretty; but, can look very harsh. I was glad that she did not turn around and say that Trey ‘hated’ it; but, she ‘thanked me’. That’s a start. The little ditty that I am sure most of us have heard growing of “Sticks and stones may break my bones; but, words can never hurt me.” … well, that just isn’t true. Words can do far more damage than anything physical. In cases of spousal ‘verbal abuse’ … it can turn ‘physical’ and it can turn ‘deadly’. Another one is, ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’. In this case … she probably should have kept her mouth shut. Nobody ‘likes’ to ‘hear’ they are aging. We look in the mirror and we see those changes every day.

    I would not even tell my BF that she was looking old(er) or anything about her weight. What others ‘say’ sometimes does a lot to make us question how we think or feel about ourselves.

    Being friends doesn’t give one ‘Carte Blanc’ to be ‘rude’. She’s getting ‘older’, too. When my GYN says things like, ‘well, at your age …’ I look at him and say, “Bill, you are still 10 years older than I am, so ‘at your age ….”. He laughs and apologizes, because he just doesn't think. I remember after losing 35lbs and I had an appointment with him. He is the one who 'ordered' me to lost the weight. I said, 'well, you're just NOT going to say anything, are you'? He said, 'your weight'? I was telling Nancy (his nurse) that you were looking good. I told him, he was telling the 'wrong' Nancy ... if he orders a patient to 'go on a diet and they do' then HE needs to compliment them on doing so. To their face! "I'm proud of you, keep going!"

    When I gain or lose weight it is gaining from my legs to my face; and, I lose it from my face to my legs. I don’t want to ‘look’ gaunt; but, I look a lot thinner in my face than I do further down my body. My goal is to get to a ‘normal’ BMI (whatever range of weight that takes me) for my age and height.

    If she thought you needed a 'new style' ... she certainly went about it the 'wrong way' and I am not sure I would 'trust her' giving me a 'new' style. I've had very short hair, very curly hair, and long hair. Now I have chin length hair. My DDnL#1 is 'trying' to let her hair grow out so she can put it up off her neck. I did that for a couple of years after spending time trying to grow it out from a 'spiky' haircut. Louis hated it, said that he looked 'draggy' on me - being gray, he was right; it did not flatter me. As we get older, unless we wear our hair 'up', sometimes a short hairdo is more flattering. But, there again, my DGDs ... all have long hair and it is 'thick' ... they don't want to cut it although it takes an hour or more to dry it. When I told Tami I wanted her to cut my hair - I did not realize how 'uncomfortable' it made her. We got to the shop on a Sunday morning and her co-worker was cutting a man's hair and Tami has washed my hair. We were sitting in the chair and I told her that I wanted it 'off my neck'. Other than that ... I did not know what I wanted done to it. Her co-worked asked Tami if she could cut it and show her 'something' new she had learned at the last 'hair show'. Tami, gladly handed her the scissors. When she got finished ... I could not have been more pleased. I guess I really did not think it would do that. When I got home, I had a 'body wave' put in it (to help with the lift). The day I got it, I waited for Trey to get out of the truck and into the back seat; and, the bottom fell out! By the time I got in the truck, I looked like a drowned rat. Never was able to get it to do right. But, I really do not need a 'body wave' because my gray hair is coming in curly. That gives it the lift I need. Sometimes even just putting lighter highlights in your hair make a difference ... or going to a color that makes your face 'look' softer. My FB is a red-head; and, when she had it done dark auburn, the lines in her face were far more prominent that when the hairdresser started making her more of a 'strawberry blond'. Sometimes a 'drastic' change can be good; something it has to be sublet; but, even then ... I am not sure I would allow this hairdresser to be the one to experiment on my hair. How long have you worn your hair like that? Is it naturally curly? Is it thick? I know my DOGD's because her hair is thick and wavy, she cannot brush it to dry it, otherwise it looks like "The Flying Nun". Most of the time, she washes it at night and puts it up in a loose bun; then it curls like she wants it.

    I’d be escaping our sons’ “rabbit ears”. But, our DYS would always stick a ‘single-digit-puppet-finger-salute’ when we tried taking pixs of him (during his HS years). They had posed and casual pictures taken for their senior pictures and I told him that ‘if’ he made that gesture in ‘any’ of them, he’d buy the entire package … about $500 (back in the late 90’s).

    Allie – Good decision, more ‘dirt’. I bet when she gets served with a subpoena, Tom will end up trying to become more reasonable in settling your divorce and getting it over with. She certainly won’t be too pleased; but, that would not be my worry. Taking her deposition will nail her @$$ to the wall. RITFLMAO!!!!!

    Kelly and Mary – Being ‘tired’ or ‘in a pissy mood’ does NOT give one the ‘right to be unkind’ especially in a ‘service oriented job’ where she is doing something for someone and expecting not only to be ‘paid’ for the service; but, also expecting a ‘tip’. I don’t know where in the line of where she was during the trip before this subject came up; but, I would have walked out with a wet head if I needed to. I would not have said anything, although my mind would be going 90-to-nothing. But, I would not go back to her. If she is that ‘ugly’ to your face, no telling what she might say behind your back. I don’t know where in Minnesota you live; but, it would be worth driving to another town to get my hair done; and, your daughter could meet you there and they'd be other things to explore. If she wants to come 'visit' her friend, then, she can do that on another weekend. But, I get my hair done, in another town as it is, because I live in “Podunk, GA” …

    That’s nice that this kid wanted you to see this ‘big milestone’ in his life and to share it with you.

    Heather – I know your son must be very proud of his dogs/greyhounds. Taking care of an animal is very rewarding and for them to 'win' prizes can also be 'exciting'.

    Beth – I have enough pins and plates in my body to set off the alarm at the Federal Courthouse. But, not until ‘after’ I retired did I have to start ‘taking off things to walk through it’. If the Marshal on duty did not ‘know’ me … I’d have to get them to call the Clerk of Court to tell them I wasn’t ‘packing heat’. LOL! Shep certainly has grown into his ears. I had to ‘grow into my nose’ (or so I thought so as a young teenager.

    Yeah! Windows World sent out enough ‘good quality’ 1” square stops to do 2 porches. The installer lives in Albany (although he works out of Tifton). He agreed that the stops on the glass looked like ‘tomato stakes’. Ripped on a table saw and then stuck up on the windows. We were supposed to get the stops before they came out the first time to install them and the man we signed the contract with said that 'he' would actually be out here when they installed it, supervising them and he wasn't. Like they had ripped the boards out of a 1’ x 4’ or 6’ board of untreated pine. He and his wife came out (she helps him). Gave us some advice on how to make the stops look like they should and so we would not have any issues. I finally could ‘see in my mind’ what she was suggesting to do so that they would ‘look’ right. She took a ‘lot’ of pictures and I told them that I ‘expected’ the corners to be ‘mitered’ and they needed to tell their boss that. I also put in a ‘request’ that THEY are the installers to do the work. I did not want the Yahoos that had done it in the first place to set foot on my property. I don’t know why they would not have sent him and his wife out here in the first place (they live in Albany). She said that it looked like they had ripped the boards and not kept the board straight in the process, some were thinner in places and then wider. Louis has been filling in the cracks between the boards to get it ready so we can put insulation up. I’m hoping that he will go ahead and get the work done, so I don’t keep on ‘nagging’ him about it.

    Then, we’ll have to decide what avenue(s) we’ll need to check into about heating/cooling the area. If they put insulation under the floor, we might be able to just open the French Doors from the MBR, at least for a little while.

    I brought home 3 cushions from the furniture store. One is a chair that is a ‘floor sample’ which means it is discontinued. It looks great with the rug and other pieces of furniture. One was from a sofa, which also looks good. The 3rd did not go with anything; but, I brought it anyway to see how it looked ‘generally’. It just was not dark enough of a blue. Louis wants a leather chair. We’ve really had to look and sit in a lot of chairs and sofas.

    We’re both only about 5’4” and the furniture they make now is so deep and high off the ground. Lazy Boy’s chairs just don’t hit us in the right place and Louis doesn’t like the bump out that most of their furniture seems to have.
    The next thing we’re looking at will be kitchen counters, and flooring. We’ve got to do the bath as well. I’d love to take the tub out and make that end of the bathroom a walk-in shower with glass doors; but, I don’t think we could afford that. At least not at this time.

    I'm just afraid they will sell it before Louis gets around to deciding if we need new furniture in our den. Will plops down on it when he comes home; and, if I get a sofa bed ... he won't be able to bring the springs.

    Lenora
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,890 Member
    edited June 2017
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    barbiecat wrote: »
    Machka, what an awesome cycling adventure
    <3 Barbie
    Katla49 wrote: »
    Machka: I admire your fitness and persistence. Congratulations on an amazing ride. :flowerforyou:

    Thanks!! :)

    I've done three other 200 km events this year, but this was definitely the most difficult of them all.
    DamitJanit wrote: »
    M, what a ride. Congrats on finishing. I’d be concerned about a heat stroke but hopefully you know your limits.

    I keep my first aid certification up to date, so I have a pretty good idea what to watch for. I knew I was in heat exhaustion, and I knew I wasn't digesting the food I had eaten or anything I had drunk ... and as soon as I realised that, I started taking steps to fix the problem. With about 30 km to go, my digestion started again and I knew I'd be all right.

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