Judge and jury...first impressions

12346

Replies

  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    edited August 2017
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    Ok great, but we're not talking about how it should go, we're talking about a time when you judged someone. What you're talking about is a different conversation.

    I'm not going to lie and say that "oh yeah, I definitely started talking to my husband because I could SEE his personality." That came after I got to know him, and I got to know him because I liked the way he looked.

    That doesn't make me a bad person and he wasn't a bad person for wanting to speak to me in return because he thought I was good looking.

    I doubt that personality matters, when relationships begin like this because even just friends, form this way & it makes me wonder, if you're just friends; why do they've to be attractive?

    Lol sure. I hate my husband's personality but his body is good so that's all I care about.

    That's why I've been with him for ten years.

    Okay.

    I said: "when relationships begin", I didn't mention any course of time; beyond that!

    You said, "I doubt that personality matters when relationships begin like this."

    That's how my relationship began, so you doubt that personality matters.

    I should've put the word "initially", prior to "matters" but didn't because I believed that "begin", was enough; to convey my viewpoint!
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

    No via the person left because they, couldn't "fix it".
  • This content has been removed.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

    No via the person left because they, couldn't "fix it".

    There are 2 sides to every story. Just sayin.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    man we really need a "pettiest reason you ever broke things off with someone" thread after this

    Yes. Do it.
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    9x68l5khft20.gif
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

    No via the person left because they, couldn't "fix it".

    There are 2 sides to every story. Just sayin.

    I'd rather believe otherwise, as well!
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Anyways, to get back on topic: I've judge all of y'all and I have to say, half of you have impressed me, and the other half haven't.

    Now you can guess which half you fall into.

    I'm going with the former because I'm badass. B)
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    Anyways, to get back on topic: I've judge all of y'all and I have to say, half of you have impressed me, and the other half haven't.

    Now you can guess which half you fall into.

    I'm going with the former because I'm badass. B)

    I'm judging your badass-ness
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    Anyways, to get back on topic: I've judge all of y'all and I have to say, half of you have impressed me, and the other half haven't.

    Now you can guess which half you fall into.

    Same but half fall into the 10/10 would bang category and half fall into the Pass catergory.
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    edited August 2017
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    The other night my wife asked me if, when we first met, she had better hair, a better job, a cooler personality, etc. but weighed 300lbs if I'd still hit that. I told her that her looks is why I dated her, but her personality is why I married her.

    So that's a no?

    My answer didn't seem to appease her, either.

    ETA- fortunately, she doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to being shallow in the dating game.

    Well, she asked if you'd hit that if she was 300 pounds, not would you marry her if she was 300 pounds. You basically answered her question as hell no.

    Yeah, basically. I think I used a bit more tact.
    Let's be honest, one's appearance is like their resume that scores them an interview. Of course you can take a chance and get to know them and really hit it off, and then what? You found a really good friend that you're still not attracted to to whom you're still not attracted. (Ended my sentence in a preposition. Sorry!)

    However if you, took a chance & got to know your wife regardless of looks, you would've married her anyway; since you claim that you married her for her personality! So this comment, contradicts your previous 1! :/

    I don't think it necessarily contradicts the first statement. I've never entertained the possibility of marrying someone without dating them. We both still had to pass through the first gate: physical attraction, to even be considered for moving forward to the getting to know each other phase.

    I didn't indicate, an arranged marriage! I meant take a chance, to date!

    So it's impossible, to get to know someone; without being physically attracted to them? I knew a guy at my grocery store, was interested in buying the same bread, I was because we both reached for it, yet I didn't see his face 1st; to know if I was attracted to him lol! :D

    No, it's absolutely possible to get to know someone without being attracted to them. I call those people friends. I think what I'm trying to say is that if you want to marry a prince/princess you can start kissing frogs and hope for the best or you can find people with crowns (and hope for the best).

    So did you marry the bread guy?

    It's also possible, to date friends!

    No I am a literal slave to my bus schedule, I even have my grocery list in order as to where everything is; so that I don't have to backtrack & potentially miss my bus! There's no time to mingle, when I'm in public!

    I judge.




    51djUUWwAbL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

    I judge people, that judge me & waste time trying/failing, to change me; instead of ignoring me:

    mhyt3irasm5t.png
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    The other night my wife asked me if, when we first met, she had better hair, a better job, a cooler personality, etc. but weighed 300lbs if I'd still hit that. I told her that her looks is why I dated her, but her personality is why I married her.

    So that's a no?

    My answer didn't seem to appease her, either.

    ETA- fortunately, she doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to being shallow in the dating game.

    Well, she asked if you'd hit that if she was 300 pounds, not would you marry her if she was 300 pounds. You basically answered her question as hell no.

    Yeah, basically. I think I used a bit more tact.
    Let's be honest, one's appearance is like their resume that scores them an interview. Of course you can take a chance and get to know them and really hit it off, and then what? You found a really good friend that you're still not attracted to to whom you're still not attracted. (Ended my sentence in a preposition. Sorry!)

    However if you, took a chance & got to know your wife regardless of looks, you would've married her anyway; since you claim that you married her for her personality! So this comment, contradicts your previous 1! :/

    I don't think it necessarily contradicts the first statement. I've never entertained the possibility of marrying someone without dating them. We both still had to pass through the first gate: physical attraction, to even be considered for moving forward to the getting to know each other phase.

    I didn't indicate, an arranged marriage! I meant take a chance, to date!

    So it's impossible, to get to know someone; without being physically attracted to them? I knew a guy at my grocery store, was interested in buying the same bread, I was because we both reached for it, yet I didn't see his face 1st; to know if I was attracted to him lol! :D

    No, it's absolutely possible to get to know someone without being attracted to them. I call those people friends. I think what I'm trying to say is that if you want to marry a prince/princess you can start kissing frogs and hope for the best or you can find people with crowns (and hope for the best).

    So did you marry the bread guy?

    It's also possible, to date friends!

    No I am a literal slave to my bus schedule, I even have my grocery list in order as to where everything is; so that I don't have to backtrack & potentially miss my bus! There's no time to mingle, when I'm in public!

    I judge.




    51djUUWwAbL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

    I judge people, that judge me & waste time trying/failing, to change me; instead of ignoring me:

    mhyt3irasm5t.png

    Did you just ignore yourself?

    No it isn't possible, if you click upon your own Username; you'll see the same thing!
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    q5whttn6l5p0.gif
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Anyways, to get back on topic: I've judge all of y'all and I have to say, half of you have impressed me, and the other half haven't.

    Now you can guess which half you fall into.

    Dammit!
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    JLAJ81 wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I do "judge" people I guess, even tho I don't like the sound of that.

    First impressions are so interesting because I find myself so often wrong...and changing my opinion if I get a chance to know them better.

    I wonder how I am "judged"...I guess it doesn't matter, if other people's judgements are like my own, they are probably wrong.

    I need to start saving all of your profile pics so I can piece together a complete face and judge it

    Do it! Judge me, then critique me
  • JLAJ81
    JLAJ81 Posts: 2,477 Member
    edited August 2017
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    JLAJ81 wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I do "judge" people I guess, even tho I don't like the sound of that.

    First impressions are so interesting because I find myself so often wrong...and changing my opinion if I get a chance to know them better.

    I wonder how I am "judged"...I guess it doesn't matter, if other people's judgements are like my own, they are probably wrong.

    I need to start saving all of your profile pics so I can piece together a complete face and judge it

    Do it! Judge me, then critique me

    Already finished
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    The other night my wife asked me if, when we first met, she had better hair, a better job, a cooler personality, etc. but weighed 300lbs if I'd still hit that. I told her that her looks is why I dated her, but her personality is why I married her.

    So that's a no?

    My answer didn't seem to appease her, either.

    ETA- fortunately, she doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to being shallow in the dating game.

    Well, she asked if you'd hit that if she was 300 pounds, not would you marry her if she was 300 pounds. You basically answered her question as hell no.

    Yeah, basically. I think I used a bit more tact.
    Let's be honest, one's appearance is like their resume that scores them an interview. Of course you can take a chance and get to know them and really hit it off, and then what? You found a really good friend that you're still not attracted to to whom you're still not attracted. (Ended my sentence in a preposition. Sorry!)

    However if you, took a chance & got to know your wife regardless of looks, you would've married her anyway; since you claim that you married her for her personality! So this comment, contradicts your previous 1! :/

    I don't think it necessarily contradicts the first statement. I've never entertained the possibility of marrying someone without dating them. We both still had to pass through the first gate: physical attraction, to even be considered for moving forward to the getting to know each other phase.

    I didn't indicate, an arranged marriage! I meant take a chance, to date!

    So it's impossible, to get to know someone; without being physically attracted to them? I knew a guy at my grocery store, was interested in buying the same bread, I was because we both reached for it, yet I didn't see his face 1st; to know if I was attracted to him lol! :D

    No, it's absolutely possible to get to know someone without being attracted to them. I call those people friends. I think what I'm trying to say is that if you want to marry a prince/princess you can start kissing frogs and hope for the best or you can find people with crowns (and hope for the best).

    So did you marry the bread guy?

    It's also possible, to date friends!

    No I am a literal slave to my bus schedule, I even have my grocery list in order as to where everything is; so that I don't have to backtrack & potentially miss my bus! There's no time to mingle, when I'm in public!

    I judge.




    51djUUWwAbL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

    I judge people, that judge me & waste time trying/failing, to change me; instead of ignoring me:

    mhyt3irasm5t.png

    Semicolons are not you friend.

    The next time, that I get my face painted; it'll have semicolons!
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    JLAJ81 wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I do "judge" people I guess, even tho I don't like the sound of that.

    First impressions are so interesting because I find myself so often wrong...and changing my opinion if I get a chance to know them better.

    I wonder how I am "judged"...I guess it doesn't matter, if other people's judgements are like my own, they are probably wrong.

    I need to start saving all of your profile pics so I can piece together a complete face and judge it

    Do it! Judge me, then critique me

    You're insightful, inquisitive, and not afraid to speak your mind.

    tkfu60q5ueuy.gif
  • This content has been removed.
  • This content has been removed.
  • This content has been removed.
  • WorkerDrone83
    WorkerDrone83 Posts: 3,195 Member
    beingmore1 wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    What the hell is going on in here?

    i dont know. It like watching people trying to jump on a trampoline in stillettos.


    0pgj9i4zx8g7.png
  • This content has been removed.
  • VeronicaA76
    VeronicaA76 Posts: 1,116 Member
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    I work in a bar, and I will totally judge you on your drink order

    My go-to drink is an Old Fashioned. I want your honest response (I'm also 41 and usually just in normal fitted jeans and a blouse).

    Oh no. Don't hate me. We are a very busy bar, and old fashioneds take time. So I would mumble to myself under my breath a little bit. It is kind of like when someone orders a Bloody Mary at happy hour. Makes bartenders cringe. THAT being said, there wouldn't be a judgement poorly of you for drinking that...very sophisticated choice. I would also hope that ordering a drink as such, you have been around and understand tipping custom. So I would make you a kick *kitten* drink, and hope you only want one before moving on. LOL

    My tipping custom: always. At least $5 (I know what I order is a bit more complicated). Better service increases that number, sometimes substantially - had one of the best OF's last year, drink was $8, I left a $20. I've also worked in the service industry, so if it's busy I always say "take your time, I'm not in a hurry. I don't order drinks to chug them", it usually garners a smile with the realization that I'm not an impatient *kitten*.

    Also, if I'm going to order a second one. I don't wait for mine to be gone. And again, say "no hurry". I do babysit my drinks as I drink for quality and taste, not quantity.

    You will also be receiving a GC to my bar

    I leaned a long time ago that manners go a long way, there's never a good reason to ever be rude to someone, especially someone helping you (bartender, waiter, hostess, sales person).
This discussion has been closed.