Judge and jury...first impressions

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Replies

  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    Shoot, I even judge myself...why wouldn't I judge others.
  • WorkerDrone83
    WorkerDrone83 Posts: 3,195 Member
    edited August 2017
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    Ok great, but we're not talking about how it should go, we're talking about a time when you judged someone. What you're talking about is a different conversation.

    I'm not going to lie and say that "oh yeah, I definitely started talking to my husband because I could SEE his personality." That came after I got to know him, and I got to know him because I liked the way he looked.

    That doesn't make me a bad person and he wasn't a bad person for wanting to speak to me in return because he thought I was good looking.

    I doubt that personality matters, when relationships begin like this because even just friends, form this way & it makes me wonder, if you're just friends; why do they've to be attractive?

    Lol sure. I hate my husband's personality but his body is good so that's all I care about.

    That's why I've been with him for ten years.

    Okay.

    I said: "when relationships begin", I didn't mention any course of time; beyond that!
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
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  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
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  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    I thought this was about first impressions, not lasting relationships? I hardly know anyone that marries for looks, and if they do the relationship probably doomed. Attractiveness and personality determines relationships. If you meet someone attractive but they have a *kitten* personality, odds are you won't stay with them. GENERALLY speaking, you want your partner to be a little attractive to keep those ovaries pumping. Attractiveness is subjective. He doesn't have to look like a model to be attractive to you.

    I guess since some 1st impressions morph into becoming relationships, that that's how this occurred! Sort of like if someone begins a thread about what tattoo do you've, people'll then start to mention what tattoo; they desire to get because it relates!
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    edited August 2017
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    Ok great, but we're not talking about how it should go, we're talking about a time when you judged someone. What you're talking about is a different conversation.

    I'm not going to lie and say that "oh yeah, I definitely started talking to my husband because I could SEE his personality." That came after I got to know him, and I got to know him because I liked the way he looked.

    That doesn't make me a bad person and he wasn't a bad person for wanting to speak to me in return because he thought I was good looking.

    I doubt that personality matters, when relationships begin like this because even just friends, form this way & it makes me wonder, if you're just friends; why do they've to be attractive?

    Lol sure. I hate my husband's personality but his body is good so that's all I care about.

    That's why I've been with him for ten years.

    Okay.

    I said: "when relationships begin", I didn't mention any course of time; beyond that!

    You said, "I doubt that personality matters when relationships begin like this."

    That's how my relationship began, so you doubt that personality matters.

    I should've put the word "initially", prior to "matters" but didn't because I believed that "begin", was enough; to convey my viewpoint!
  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

  • CaloricCountess
    CaloricCountess Posts: 202 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

    No via the person left because they, couldn't "fix it".
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    I wouldn't have been angry with that comment.

    I know that my husband started speaking to me because he was attracted to me and the same goes for why I started speaking to him in return. So we both judged each other physically and liked what we saw. That's just how it goes.

    Unfortunately I've seen this situation, go horribly wrong often because many mistake being in lust, with being in love; especially if they've been together for years! No matter how much time passes, lust doesn't always develop into love! (Hot girl gets hot guy, hot girl becomes pregnant but even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc., it isn't enough to regain the figure she had prior to keep hot guy; so hot guy leaves her to seek a new version of what she use to be to him!)

    This' why physical attraction should be a bonus, not a necessity because it's the most difficult, to maintain. So if I see an average guy give a homeless person money, while the hot guy just pretends that they don't exist, it isn't the hot guy that I am going to be attracted to!

    I've also seen relationships go awry because one party isn't attracted to the other anymore and wanders. I don't think it's too much to ask that we get to have our cake and eat it, too.

    So it's perfectly fine to leave someone because their body got stretch marks & lose skin via a pregnancy, that the other person; created with them?

    Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. As soon as I get my wife pregnant and she gains weight, I'm going to leave her for a 20-something.

    But in all seriousness, of course I'm not advocating that. I'm not saying if someone lets themselves go, it's fine to find someone better. I do think it's both people's responsibility to maintain an acceptable level of attractiveness, both physical and emotional. Same thing if the guy became abusive after the first year. The point is nobody likes a 'bait-and-switch.'

    My comment was exactly:
    even though she maintains a healthy weight & tries to reduce stretch marks, wears a brace, etc.

    So clearly I wasn't indicating someone, that doesn't continue to take care; of themselves!

    Well, now I'm confused (probably not surprising). If you weren't indicating that they don't continue to take care of themselves, why wouldn't they still be attractive? Stretch marks are no big deal and apparently good diet and exercise can help with loose skin.

    Side note: My wife has had two kids and she still looks as phenomenal as the day we met. I attribute it to the strong willpower and motivation that helped me fall in love with her in the first place.

    @km8907 Yeah, we got a bit off topic. lol.

    Because the specific types of people, that've left someone; due to that because they weren't able to continue, to resemble what they were; regardless of their own choosing.

    Do you know any of these "specific types of people" personally?

    Unfortunately yes.

    They admitted to you they left someone for that specific lameass reason?

    No via the person left because they, couldn't "fix it".

    There are 2 sides to every story. Just sayin.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    man we really need a "pettiest reason you ever broke things off with someone" thread after this

    Yes. Do it.
  • pudgy1977
    pudgy1977 Posts: 13,499 Member
    9x68l5khft20.gif