Less Alcohol - March 2018- One day at a Time
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I’m facing the struggle I knew I would after Italy. Back to pretty much daily wine although not especially large amounts. I’m finding The Sober School website and blog very useful. She (Kate) has a 6-week class she runs and I’m thinking of doing that beginning April 9. One of her main assertions is that being AF is much easier than moderating. I know that’s true for me. Right now I just don’t feel I have the energy to go there I had in January.
I’m glad this is a place to talk alll this out with my friends.
totally understandable....i am going to the Bahamas and this may happen to me too. but we have learned valuable lessons and we can get back in the game slowly but surely......no i didnt call you shirley7 -
I'm doing great with the not drinking...not so great with logging food on MFP. I logged today despite having loads of sugar ugh. I have been alcohol free since mid January. This weekend we ate at a fine restaurant and my husband got the wine pairing with his meal. When it came to my favorite (Chardonnay!) with the main entree I decided to have a tiny sip to see if I felt like I was missing something. Unbelievable but that fine wine did not taste good to me!!!! (And I was having a beautiful fish that it should have tasted great with. Conclusion...I'm not missing anything. Now I need to get this sugar thing under control. I hardly ever ate dessert when there was wine to be had.. hmmmmm.
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Good night everyone! I just downloaded and read the sample on Kindle called Alcohol Lied to me By Craig Beck.
Here's a shot of one of his pages....
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Today I’m on day 4 sober. I’m also on my period. I also work in a bar. I feel so irritable lol. I’m basically dealing with this right now by telling myself it’s just a lot of bad feelings, it’ll pass. I also remember how bad it was 4 days ago, and I am well aware that I have been trying to recover from that night this whole time. I’m tired of it. Really tired of it. So I’m going to bed. Tomorrow I go and talk to a doctor about withdrawal meds and programs available at a place called CAMH here in Toronto, Canada. The organization deals with addiction, it’s not a hospital.12
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Trinkwasser wrote: »Today I’m on day 4 sober. I’m also on my period. I also work in a bar. I feel so irritable lol. I’m basically dealing with this right now by telling myself it’s just a lot of bad feelings, it’ll pass. I also remember how bad it was 4 days ago, and I am well aware that I have been trying to recover from that night this whole time. I’m tired of it. Really tired of it. So I’m going to bed. Tomorrow I go and talk to a doctor about withdrawal meds and programs available at a place called CAMH here in Toronto, Canada. The organization deals with addiction, it’s not a hospital.
Congrats on day 4! That's a big deal! You're on the right track and I can see you're very determined ! Cheering for you ! Xo4 -
Lots of extra positive vibes in here this morning. To the new people welcome and gather strength through others experiences in this group. Feelings you thought only you were dealing with have been our struggles as well.
Pre-regretting vacations, holidays, birthdays, anniversary's, Christmas parties, picnics, tail gating, etc...etc... Why do we all fear what is days, weeks or months down the road? As I read above, I too am having a month in advance wishy washy feelings of what will happen when I go away for my Anniversary. UGH. So much time spent trying to do the right thing only to worry about what has not arrived yet. I feel strong enough to keep on the right path.
I wish all of you that are questioning or dreading upcoming events easy times once they arrive.
Ordered my first ever Arnold Palmer when we went out last night. Not bad, I will keep an ongoing "dry" list in my phone for future social excursions.
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@MissMay You hit the nail on the head! Pre-regretting. That is the perfect description. I am already worried about 2 weddings we are attending and they are not until September and October! What a waste of time and emotion. I will continue to try to focus on TODAY only. Like they say in Rent, "no day but today."7
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Good morning all! It's weird there are so many posts here that are before mine that weren't there last night. Anyway, like @donimfp mentioned, I totally have found that it is much easier to be alcohol free than to moderate. It turns off almost all of the "drinking thinking". It just take less mental energy, and so far I am finding that it is getting easier as it goes along. (AF for the first time after being a daily drinker for many years). I also (thanks to resources like This Naked Mind, Quit the Drink Easily, and Alcohol Lied to Me) have completely shifted my thinking about alcohol which is the key difference to me this time around. I don't talk about it much (because I know that other people want to drink moderately here and that is fine with me absolutely no judgement!...my husband still drinks too and it doesn't bother me). However for myself, I do see how alcohol was basically just another bad addictive drug (poison) habit, much like smoking. I would never dream of smoking a cigarette! I would never say, "well, I'll just have one cigarette tonight, maybe two". The other thing that I realize is how we are manipulated to drink, especially women. Look at all the signs, posters and cute t-shirts that you can buy making jokes about how "okay" it is for women to drink more, especially wine. It's like everyone is trying to convince themselves that since everyone else is doing it it must be something fun and sophisticated, etc. It reminds me of that story about the Emperor Has No Clothes.
I am not very far into this AF life journey (into my 3rd AF month) so I know I am going to hit some struggles. (upcoming vacations with open bars, etc) but I just wanted to share my experience so far. Changing my thoughts about alcohol through reading and listening to some great resources has been the key for me. I did go into this thinking I just wanted to moderate my drinking. The whole becoming AF is a complete surprise to me, but I can't believe how happy it has made me!!11 -
I, too, worry about what's ahead- we are going to England at the end of July, and that is what I am most focused on re: drinking/ not drinking! Plus a few family get together a in April.... I will try and take things one day at a time, too.7
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@kerry0521 > Yes! Agree 100% with your post. We have discussed this on here before. Alcohol has definitely been marketed towards women in the last 20 years. There is a book called, "Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol" that explores this in depth. It is very eye opening and I highly recommend it. Just walk into any liquor store and you see whole sections vying for women's consumption and dollars. Wines with names like, "Mommies time out", "Skinny B!tch" ,"Middle Sister", "Angry Housewife" etc etc. And now the new "Jane Walker" whiskey. It is crazy. Needless to say, women are catching up with men in the liver disease department too. I also have to completely quit, as I did with smoking years ago. I was never going to end that addiction by telling myself, "Oh I'll only smoke on this girls weekend." or "I'll just bum one or two." It does not work for me. As much as I have tried (repeatedly) I am not a moderate drinker. I passed that point and you can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber. Thank you for your observations.6
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@Jent304 - wow, I love this: “Everyone must choose one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret.” Thanks for sharing. Sorry you're struggling. You've done it before, I know you can do it again. Have you by any chance checked out alcoholmastery.com? Others here have recommended it, but I just started listening to his videos. Really good stuff. You can look at the first video, where he'd been AF for one week, and then another where it's been a year. You will not believe the difference. Inspirational.4
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I am officially back. I have fell off the wagon too many times to count celebrating my birthday. I have no regrets because I had a great time celebrating this milestone in my life!!! I need to catch up to see what everyone is doing!8
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@kittybenn yes I have the alcohol mastery podcast and have started listening to it regularly. I also went back to my sticker chart on the fridge where I put a "good job!" or some corny sticker for being AF that day.7
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I haven’t been as successful this month. My 40th birthday, biking through wine country and work travel are primarily to blame. Need to get back on track!7
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@kittybenn yes I have the alcohol mastery podcast and have started listening to it regularly. I also went back to my sticker chart on the fridge where I put a "good job!" or some corny sticker for being AF that day.
I like that idea! I'll have to figure out something like that to do. I'm on day 4 of AF. I went to the store yesterday after work to get some stuff and resisted the wine on clearance (and other junk food that I didn't need).6 -
So yesterday, I went to the gym after work, despite my own brain's best efforts to talk me out of it. <<This is a daily struggle with me. By the time I finished at the gym, I was in such a bad, negative mood, I decided to get a bottle of wine. Because if I'm going to make myself go to the gym when I don't want to, and I don't have the energy to, then I deserve to have a glass of wine when I get home. Forcing myself to workout plus forcing myself to abstain from wine is too much negativity for one day for me.
This is my rationale and I'm sticking with it. At least for today.
I was still within my intake limits according to myfitnesspal though, so win win? Who knows.
(As you can see, I'm extremely pessimistic about this whole thing.)
But I only had 2 glasses and stopped. So I'm still being successful at moderating. Yay me.10 -
This may have been discussed in an earlier month. I'm just a March Baby.
Here is another perspective on why some one may want to go AF or Moderation. My main reason for moderation is long term health and to ward off chronic disease like cancer and heart related issues.
My dad passed in 2016 from a diabetes related heart attack and my mom from 2011 to 2016 battled 3 bouts with cancer. After dad passed, I dove into nutrition and using food to fight illness. I realized that the biggest way that I could control my wellness was through food. You can't control genetics or really to some extent environment. Food that went into my and my husband's bodies was the only thing that I could control. We bought and grew the most nutritious food that I could get my hands on. I knew that alcohol was not good for me in an over-all perspective. I knew that I didn't want drink to excess (1-2 glass per night with 2-3 per night on the weekends is not that bad, right?). I knew that I needed to keep my liver functions up and all tests showed that I was ok. But slowly slowly articles that said that alcohol blocked nutrient absorption kept creeping up. At first I ignored them and then justified them, because everyone else could drink and it didn't seem to be an issue for them, but then one day it really did sink in that WTF! All or at least a portion of that good nutrient dense food was being blocked from full benefit!! Geez. In the words of Sansa from Game of Thrones, "I may be a slow learner, but I learn."
Alcohol is like a bad ninja fighting off the good ninjas(food) in our body and occupying all the Sensei's(liver) time so it doesn't have any time for anything else. I think someone here can probably illustrate this in a more scientific way, but this works for me.
So I am on the moderation train for better health. I can't and don't want to go AF completely. Not yet. But maybe some day. We'll see.
I hope all is well with everyone in whatever your goals are. Love and good wishes to all.10 -
@JulieAL1969 >it worked !!! 6 minute rule for cravings and my distraction during those 6 minutes was @JenT304 >what pain do I choose ? Discipline or regret ... DISCIPLINE is a no brainier when you match it up with regret . Love it
thank you both
I too feel everyone's fear of what's to come down the road. I can tell you this; I use to be afraid of once I'm off Lent (this Sunday) I'm not anymore... I feel strong enough and learned so much that I will be able okay with what comes my way. That doesn't mean I won't have challenges; but I'm okay with that. I won't be perfect; but I'll do my best. I have a wedding out of town next month at a Vineyard in Paso Robles that's a weekend event; and then a concert out of town at the end of the month Stage Coach which we are camping there for another long weekend ... Not to mention various out of town beer fest hubby has planned this summer and a Parker Colorado river trip ...and then Key West for our Anniversary this fall... The list goes on and on ... Right ?!? But that's life... Just like with food; I need to learn what's going to work one way or another... With this blog, it's helped me to except the challenge and I thank you ALL for that every single story, thought and info. 9
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