WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2018
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Morning Ladies~
Terri~ Ha Ha Ha I dont have a phonebook anymore lol but thats ok..
I am going to see if I can find a financial advisor to talk to,to see if I can get some sort of plan together for me to get through this..
Windy windy last night and we have more snow coming in tomorrow and saterday oh when will it ever end..
so I havent been able to enjoy my zen den patio..
I am renting until Oct then I will buy.. but I can buy before that.. I will be getting some money from Tom and then a good chunk of 401k, this is why I want to talk to an advisor, should I take a hit on 401k and just buy the condo outright.. and then just have to deal with the monthly bills , I am still looking into full time work..
Like I said at my age I dont want to work at something I cant stand just for the insurance...
Rori~ thanks for the insight timer app, I do have the calm app on my phone.. will definatly use it
today going with my friend Doris out to lunch to a seafood place, she is taking me out for Christmas present lol
usually we go shopping , but I will just stop at the senior thrift shop..4 -
Wow! Happy Thursday morning from "winter has returned in Ohio"
I finally caught up! I reckon as I have two pages of notes, I am going to say that one of the things I love about this group, is that we all share! It makes everyone, especially me, realize that everyone can/has/does/has similar experiences. I love the support!
Machka- Prayers continuing! Thank you for the update! It is hard I know, but it sounds like you are getting lots of support. Between my husband's eye surgeries and then an alien fungal infection that was misdiagnosed for months and now the afib, I understand the help support systems provide. We think of you and your DH often.
Meg You can rant! Sometimes an outlet is what is needed. With you it is your daughter, for me it is my mother. When she is in her nasty phase, I do bare minimum. My life is complicated enough without that type of abuse. As for grands, well, I have a problem with folks keeping any young ones from their loved ones unless there is a REALLY good reason. I think you are handling it well.
I know I have lots of notes, but running out of time. Praying for healing for those hurting both physically and mentally. Congratulations to the life changes going on with each of you. May you all find peace in what you accomplish each day.
Things have been crazy. My DH really got on my last nerve yesterday. As I said previously, we have been short workers due to illness. I had rescheculed pick up and deliveries twice already. DH was at work yesterday and could have ridden with me to do them. He told me no, just call and reschedule! Grumble loudly....that is bad customer service! He then told someone that we couldn't do it because I couldn't handle the rollback truck! Really?!?!? I drove a dump truck with a 10' blade. I back the rollback in all the time. I just don't know how to do the controls, hence why I needed him to go with me. I am still pissed! Come to find out another friend also offered to do it, if he went with them, and he told them no!!!!!! Apparently, he didn't want to go!!!!! This woman should have just gone and done it! Rant over. I did manage to finish organizing some parts that were overdue. One mechanic told me I couldn't get rid of parts that were obsolete, so I took them to the storage area where there are already 3 talls shelves of obsoleted parts and squished them in to give me room for the parts we use regularly. I am sure they will still be there 20 years from now! I got trash out on Tuesday with the help of a regular customer. One of the cans was too heavy for me to lift solo and no one was in the shop that could help. Got floors all swept. Yesterday, emptied oil buckets and cleaned them, filled gas cans, organized parts, waited on customers, washed mowers, loaded a mower on a rollback for someone else, and even managed to service three mowers. Amazing what I can get done when I am mad.
Our rental is coming along. Carpet and bathroom flooring done. Blinds up. Electrician and furnace guy are both suppose to be there today. Some small projects, then final cleaning to be done. Oh, and I really dislike when someone says, just pay me what you think you should. Really?!? DH should have agreed on a price before project was started. I know friend has spent lots of time there which has helped us, but I asked 3 times what it was costing us, with no answer. Grumble again. Name a price should be easy before work gets started.
Found out yesterday, that a friend who found out they have cancer about a month ago is in final stages. I am sad. He led a fun life with lots of adventure, but is only 53. Part of me is glad he won't be suffering for long, but I am also just plain sad. I will miss his smile, laughter, and off color sense of humor.
The weather here is matching my emotions. All messed up! Sunday we hunted Easter eggs outside. Monday had 3 " of snow on the ground. Tuesday we had thunderstorms and tornados. Yesterday we had snow all day. The heat has been running in our house since yesterday morning. The sound took me by surprise as I hadn't heard it in a week. Cold the rest of the week, and smells like winter. The upside today is the sun is shining!!!!!
Ladies- Thank you for your support as always!!!! You are dear to me!
Kylia trying to wrangle emotions in Ohio
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Allie it is wise to consult with someone about your finances especially someone versed in the tax consequences of the 401k. AARP also has great info that might be able to help to make decisions concerning what to do.
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Thanks for the welcome and advice. Easter weekend was a killer and I gained weight. What I have learned throughout my journey is to let it go and go back to my journal when I first started to lose weight and get excited about how great it feels to be in control and how I just feel better. PERIOD!2
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Good morning ladies ...
Machka ... continuing prayers. And yes, just opening his eyes is a positive!! As for "meltdowns" ... they're absolutely necessary. From experience, I know they are a way of flushing out our mental toxins ... emptying the trash ... whatever you want to call it ... so that you can move forward and accept what the next day has to bring.
Allie .... there are only two choices really when faced unbalanced finances ... reduce your expenses or increase you income. But it sucks.
Meg ...I would not tell your daughter that you are making financial arrangements for her children ... this will be your secret and your surprise someday for your grandchildren.
For years I sent boxes and envelopes for my nieces whom we were separated from due to a nasty divorce situation. I understand now that while they received everything ... it was rewrapped or re-labeled as coming from their mother or others ... their mother's hatred was so great for us. On one hand I'm glad that they actually got the things ... a thank you was never my intent, I just wanted them to have things because I knew they were struggling ... but on the other hand they also thought we had abandoned them. Only one of my nieces will communicate with us now.
Older son is slightly better today ...
Beth near Buffalo5 -
(((Kylia, Allie, Meg, Machka))) Huge hugs and prayers going out for all of you!
Lisa ~ So glad your SnL got home safely and hope your newest adventure will be a great success!
Carol in GA
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For all you ladies facing ongoing winter. We will have a deep freeze but no snow. I'm hoping it doesn't completely freeze the buds on my huge oak leave hydrangea.
Janetr OKC
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Our first lovely, sunny day in AGES.
I went for a great 5k run this afternoon. Fabulous!
This morning I managed to get to my memoir and did a fine stint of editing. Wrote the 'About the Author' bit and changed a photo. Sorted chapter headings etc.
Then I decluttered the sock and knicker drawer and put a few good clothes and shoes aside for the charity shop.
I took a Nytol last night and felt a lot better this morning. Either I've fought it off or it will return.
Another drawer to sort this pm.
Heather UK xxxxxxx7 -
Joyce: I hope you slept well.
Lisa: Hooray! You can go forward with your plans to move and have kept your promise.
"Other than that, we're kind of just deciding on the fly - until we get there, we won't even know what we don't know. " You have the perfect attitude for a new adventure. I hope the two of you have a great time and love your new home.
Janetr: I love the winter poster. :laugh:
Heather: We have lived in our current home for just over 20 years. It hardly seems possible that it has been so long. The idea of packing everything up and moving is more than a little intimidating. I admire your adventurous nature.
Yoga today!!! Yay! I need it.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
"It is not selfish to be happy. It is your highest purpose. Your joy is the greatest contribution you can make to life on the planet. A heart at peace with its owner blesses everyone it touches." ~ Alan Cohen
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Good morning, all.
It sounds like good news, Machka. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you.
I had a busy day at work yesterday and then was here until 9:30 for a women's conference. It was nice, but I realized that I am too old for that. Lol The college kids don't have any issue with it, but I am usually in bed by 9:00, even if I'm not actually asleep by then, and the past few nights, I have fallen sleep before 10:00.
Oh, and it turns out the Brach's spicy jelly beans I've been eating since Easter, are not gluten free.
Since they are processed in a factory that also processes wheat, my bag must have been cross contaminated. I have been pretty sick all week. And that's the only thing it could be. I really hate that.
Like some of you, I also gained poundage over Easter. At one point early Monday morning, I was up five pounds!
But a few hours later, I was down three from that. I attribute it to the massive amounts of ham I ate. I was seriously holding onto water. And then the jelly beans, which also caused swelling and water retention. Holy Moly. I am almost back down to where I was before Easter, so it's all good.
My 11 year old got into the charter middle school that he wanted. It's an environmental science middle school, so students take double the science and all of the other subjects integrate STEM topics into their curriculum. They do a lot of off campus research and activities, including an overnight trip two times a year. Students are admitted on a lottery system. There were only 33 slots (99 students in the entire school), and fortunately, he was #39 out of 186! We got the call yesterday afternoon, only a month after the drawing. He is beyond excited. The school is on the campus of the Oregon School for the Deaf, so he will be having lunch and doing sports with the deaf children. My husband bought him a sign language book yesterday evening, and my son is already trying to learn words so that he can communicate with the other kids on campus. The administrators said that by the end of the three years, most of the charter school kids know ASL pretty well.
My oldest son did find a part-time job and is going to take one class this quarter. Still praying that he can get his meds sorted out and find some happiness and fulfillment.
Better run!
Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon6 -
Katla - I love simplifying things. I love decluttering and purging. This is a great opportunity. We will not be doing the actual packing and moving. We will pay some big healthy guys to do that for us. :laugh:
Heather UK xxxxxxx3 -
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Sounds like winter is not done with us. 50 degrees today and snow tonight and most the weekend. Talking about 3-5 inches. I want to plant flowers and work in my rock garden.
Machka--Keeping you all in prayer.
Meg__I am so sorry for the stress DD#1 is giving you. I know my DSS kept my DGD away from me for about 6 months after they had lived with us and I saw her everyday. Now he wonders why I do not let myself get close to her or the boys. He tells me it will never happen again, but my heart can not take the chance. I agree about the money in an account for the DGC when they get older.
Wendy-- I think the name Lady is very fitting. Didn't DH questions the sores on her when he was talking to her? Unless it is a car my DH doesn't notice much either.
Joyce--I was also thinking why can't you wear the glove to church?
Take care ladies and know that I am keeping everyone in my prayers. Blessings, Vicki GI NE
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Allie: It appears to me that you are thinking clearly and moving forward in a good way. Yay!!! :flowerforyou:
Kylia: I'm sorry that your friend has cancer, and that it seems to be progressing faster than you had hoped.
Beth: I'm happy that your older son has improved a bit today. Sending good thoughts. :flowerforyou:
Heather: When we were in the process of moving here we had ownership of both homes for a few months. We hauled things back and forth and kept what we wanted. We sold everything else at the garage sale, including the house. I put a "for sale" sign on the garage, and somebody bought the house. No kidding. Her DH was a lawyer and handled all the legalities for free. We were SOOO lucky. She was highly motivated because her BIL and the family were planning to move in with her. They moved into our house, instead. I don't expect to be that lucky again, but you never know. :bigsmile:
Machka: Thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for your DH.
DH was having severe tummy troubles and finally went to the doctor. He was diagnosed with wheat intolerance and put on a FODMAP diet. So far, so good. He bought gluten free bread and noodles. We still have the other for me, but I'm mostly following his rules because it is easier than cooking two separate meals. His gluten free noodles are very tasty and have a nice texture.
Katla in beautiful NW Oregon
“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
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I'm feeling like a cloud is lifting. More optimistic. This week - I'm getting up and doing my household chores quickly. Eating cleaner. Enjoying the taste of plain water again. Moving more. And - I've dropped 4 pounds this week. Likely water weight - but it's gotta come off.
Feeling much better.
--Ginger in Texas10 -
Katla - glad your DH found the source of his tummy problems. They are making a lot of very tasty GF food these days.
Was sorry to hear about the dry rot - hopefully will be an easy and inexpensive fix. We had that at our last house, they replaced maybe 4' of sill and it was good to go.
Have your new cleaners come by yet? I ran into a gal at Walmart this morning who does cleaning and will get something arranged with her. Good references and lives close by. Also wish we'd get a week dry spell to get the carpet cleaners in here!
My back is slowly but surely getting better. I think Medicare should send out that Aleve TENS unit to everyone who signs up, lol. It's a lifesaver! Have the chiro appointment tomorrow morning and I'll bet money my sacroiliac will be feeling pretty good before I walk into his office.
Lanette
Rainy SW WA State
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great work Ginger
Nykaren3 -
Allie - When you said 'with what you make and alimony' you would not be able to pay everything? Didn't you also say you got part (or 1/2 of his 401K)? Or is that your alimony? If it is separate have it taken care of by a financial officer and have it set up so that you can draw the interest off it on a monthly basis. Of course, you might work out your budget so that you can just roll over any interest it makes to buy more stocks, bonds, or whatever it consists of. You do not have to have it kept wherever TomCat has the rest of his share. Probably would be better if you did NOT leave it there. You need to make sure that it got divided according to the court order that gave you a % of it, and, then take it to a financial advisor that would be totally working for you. Rather than worrying about not having enough, you need to make out a budget and start getting real about it. First things you have to pay is home (rent), utilities, car payment, insurances (there again) you need to have an insurance agent come and figure out if you are paying too much for whatever type of insurance you need. To make sure that beneficiaries are all changed to whoever you want to get the money (or be able to settle up your estate through probating your will). The financial agent would be able to help your children do the probate of your Will. That is just one of the things they do for you. As for insurance - only if you have a mortgage on the place you live in would you need to have life insurance in an amount to cover paying it off, so that if you leave it to your children they don't have to worry about doing anything with it other than have deeds made. IF you had a Will while you were married and now you are divorced, that Will is 'null and void' and one of the first things you need to do is have a new one drawn up. If you decide not to carry life insurance, then your children would have to put the condo up for sale - that is if you actually buy it. But, for instance you were renting somewhere and you died ... the person or company that own it would be responsible for either renting it out or selling it again. Basically bypassing your children and then all they would be entitled to would be your personal effects or any money you might have in a bank or with a financial officer. All your children would have to do to have it divided between/among them would provide the financial officer with a certified copy of your death certificate. You need to get a Will drawn up ASAP; you need to talk to an insurance agent, and a financial planner (about the money you get from TomCat's 401K). They can also help you establish a budget. The worst thing you could EVER do is put that money into the bank where you would be more tempted to go to it to pay for things, and you wouldn't be drawing much interest on it, banks aren't paying the kind of interest that you could get if your used it wisely by investing in something. My financial officer (as most would) has the same investments that I do, that way he can move it if it isn't doing well. You need to put it into something that does not 'tie' it up; or where you can draw off the interest it is making ... that (your investment) is something that is meant to 'help' take care of you as you get older. You need to talk to a financial advisor about taxes and what you might have to pay when the time comes next April 15, 2019 (for 2018). Go to a place like Wells Fargo - or any other [name brand] financial advisor (not some 'fly by night' company) who can tell you what you need to do to make sure that money is protected, that you can get what you need (maybe interest monthly), or have it set up that it isn't tied up in something like an annuity (which they usually have to be bought for a period of a year, or 5 years, or more). Get some advice from someone OTHER than TomCat. Go to a professional; you will be a helluva lot better off taking advice from someone 'trained' in that area than from any of us or from Tom. This is YOUR money, it is no longer Tom's and it doesn't belong to your children or grandchildren yet.
Lenora5 -
lilnoramitchellandre wrote: »As for insurance - only if you have a mortgage on the place you live in would you need to have life insurance in an amount to cover paying it off, so that if you leave it to your children they don't have to worry about doing anything with it other than have deeds made.
Lenora
I think Allie was talking about health insurance, but I might be mistaken about that.
In any case, I do agree that talking to a financial advisor is probably needed. I know I hate to do it, myself, but it does help.
ETA: And by "help," I don't mean that it makes me feel any better. But it has given me a more realistic picture of what my future would look like.
Hang in there, Allie!
Felicia
Willamette Valley, Oregon
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When Louis and I married; he had an insurance policy that named his wife as beneficiary; and, it had a rider to it as well. We changed the beneficiary on the policy and a few years later had another insurance agent looking at them and he asked Louis if there was a special reason that he had his 'ex' on the rider as beneficiary. That got changed to me ASAP. My BF's dear husband and she changed their beneficiaries to each other; except he had forgotten one that he had years ago, and had not cancelled it when he was no longer bound to pay child support; she his 'ex' got the money. BF was pretty pissed; but, she did something that royally pissed her step-daughters off ... they could not just come in and take what belonged to Bob. Her MnL came and lived with her until she passed away. Actually, had to be put in a nursing home in Americus. Both grandchildren lived there and they 'never' went to see her. She left everything to Teresa and Bob's brother. But, when Bob died, they were already making the funeral arrangements (behind her back). I went over as soon as I was called that he had died and her sisters said she had locked herself in her room and they could not get her to unlock the door. I went and knocked on the door and told her to 'open it for me'. She did and was very upset about everybody telling her what to do. That's when she told me that the MD had been lead to believe that his 'ex' was actually his wife, until the MD wanted permission to take him off 'life support'. That's when they said she was his 'ex'; he told them to call Teresa right then. She came in and told them all to 'get the HELL out of the room'. It was pretty 'testy' and I don't even think his daughters sat with the family. I went to the funeral and then left and went to the wedding of a friend in which I was her Matron of Honor. Close call.
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Lll1
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Lenora
Thanks for all the info...yes I called a friend of mine ,who gave me the name of a financial advisor so yes will be calling him tomorrow,also insurance agent..yes with the access health Ct I can get a tax Credit on my health insurance ,but it is 352.00 a month and with mortgage and taxes and everything else will not be able to make ends meet..I am.trying to work on my resume and get that polished up but even though there is not any so called age discrimination,very hard for someone almost 58 to get a full time job with benefits...
Tomorrow Sean and I will go up to the bank and open up a estate account.then come home and work on hoeing out more of dad's junk though it's supposed to snow and then turn to rain ...ughhh.im done with this weather.3 -
Allie, I think it’s a wise move consulting with a financial person. Good luck.
Machka, good for you letting yourself have a meltdown. I bet you felt better afterwards. I always do. I say do whatever you need to in order to get through this. Sounds like things are progressing. (((Hugs)))
MRI has been scheduled for April 25 but I’m going to see if I can get it done at another hospital about a half he away. I hate not knowing how bad the ankle is. Once I know then I can talk about my options. Still hoping I don’t have to have surgery. I counted up and if I do it will be my 8th surgery in my life. I think I deserve to get a pass on this one!
Thinking of you all and sending hugs to those that like them and good thoughts everyone else.
Terry in VT5 -
stats for the day:
bike ride hm 2 gym- 8.02min, 134mhr, 11.1amph. 1.4mi= 67c
apple watch- 60c
MANUAL TREADMILL- 16.49min, 110ahr, 129mhr, 1mi= 115c
apple watch- 88c
STAIRSTEPPER- 20min, 85floors, lvl7, 1386steps, 127ahr, 137mhr= 180c
apple watch- 184c
ARM ski MACHINE- 8min, 47aw, 112ahr, 126mhr, 1241meters= 68c
apple watch- 65c
bike ride gym 2 dome- 5.52min, 124mhr, 15.1amph, 1.4mi= 54c
apple watch- 49c
Bike ride puy 2 sumn sta- 14.49min, 12.3amph., 151mhr, 3mi= 148c
apple watch- 119c
jog sta 2 wk, 5.07min, 139ahr, 150mhr, 9.35min mi, .5mi= 73c
apple watch- 60c
jog wk 2 sta- 4.26min, 9.42min mi, 151mhr, 135ahr, .4mi= 53c
apple watch- 49c
bike ride dome 2 hm- 21.07min, 146mhr, 7.6amph, 2.6mi= 190c
apple watch- 150c
total cal 9443 -
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