Less Alcohol- July 2018- One Day at a Time
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I'm doing great. Sleeping better not sluggish. Weekend will be a challenge but worth it.6
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So far so good for me - BUT - I am traveling to a class with a bunch of like minded lady friends - Im pretty sure wine will be involved if not Margaritas. I am going to try to stay AF but....6
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losergood2011 wrote: »So far so good for me - BUT - I am traveling to a class with a bunch of like minded lady friends - Im pretty sure wine will be involved if not Margaritas. I am going to try to stay AF but....
You can do it! Decide in advance how many or what else you can drink. It depends on what your personal goals are. Maybe do a little experiment and see how it feels not to drink the margs. And you'll save a bunch of calories.3 -
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I kind of miss drinking tonight. Is that the same as being tempted? It feels different. Anyway, it has been a meh day and I swear tonight is passing by SO painfully slow. While I would not have minded having a fast forward button tonight that is not a good idea. Alleviating boredom was how I started drinking daily in the first place. No sense in tempting that fate again.
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I kind of miss drinking tonight. Is that the same as being tempted? It feels different. Anyway, it has been a meh day and I swear tonight is passing by SO painfully slow. While I would not have minded having a fast forward button tonight that is not a good idea. Alleviating boredom was how I started drinking daily in the first place. No sense in tempting that fate again.
Hang in there, my friend. This too shall pass. Hopefully, your boredom will pass. Watch some YouTube - something funny. Good comedians : Sebastian Maniscalco and Jim Gaffigan.
Here's a classic bit from one of them:
https://youtu.be/9hv0M4mnrE8 3 -
I just read a post that someone wrote on The Alcohol Experiment site: "Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it." I need to stick that on my fridge. Last night my husband and I shared a bottle of wine then said, "Hey lets get another!" Needless to say I feel guilt and anxiety and mad at myself this morning. Mercifully not hung over, but those other emotions are painful in a different way. My goal was to be sober until a wedding in September and I failed myself. All I can do is start fresh again today.13
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@JulieAL1969 Thanks for the suggestion. I am afraid I missed it last night as I got off the interwebz shortly after the post. I was in one of those weird moods where I knew I could do something about being bored but I wanted to be pissy about it instead. Not exactly a grown-up thing to do but hey.... we all have those moments I am sure. Daily drinking for me was an immature act so it stands to reason I would miss alcohol while in that state. Luckily mature me still seems to have the proverbial keys to the liquor cabinet so no harm done other than being dumb and admitting it online.
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I just read a post that someone wrote on The Alcohol Experiment site: "Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it." I need to stick that on my fridge. Last night my husband and I shared a bottle of wine then said, "Hey lets get another!" Needless to say I feel guilt and anxiety and mad at myself this morning. Mercifully not hung over, but those other emotions are painful in a different way. My goal was to be sober until a wedding in September and I failed myself. All I can do is start fresh again today.
Can I suggest trying to go a little easier on yourself? For some people sticking to a drinking goal may be as easy a fixing a single hole in the boat. For others we have to keep patching until we get them all.5 -
I just read a post that someone wrote on The Alcohol Experiment site: "Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it." I need to stick that on my fridge. Last night my husband and I shared a bottle of wine then said, "Hey lets get another!" Needless to say I feel guilt and anxiety and mad at myself this morning. Mercifully not hung over, but those other emotions are painful in a different way. My goal was to be sober until a wedding in September and I failed myself. All I can do is start fresh again today.
Hey.... we’ve all been there! You didn’t fail yourself. You broke a streak, which is disappointing for sure, but you had a night with your husband that included wine. That’s hardly something to feel like it’s failure. Don’t let an arbitrary goal create such pressure that anything less than achieving that goal entirely is a failure. Think of all the AF days you’ve had and will continue to have and how much of an improvement that is!
I think about how many threads I’ve seen on these boards regarding weight loss over the years where someone sets a very aggressive goal for some special event “I want to lose 50 lbs in 4 months for (insert special event here)” and the advice that is shared there. You may not achieve that goal (usually it would involve unhealthy means to do so) but first - no one is going to weigh you at this special event. Second, by starting on the path toward achieving that first goal (lost 50 lbs) is HUGE and the second part of it is arbitrary. Third, even if you don’t meet the goal by that timeline, focus on the healthy habits you are developing along the way, and be proud of the success you have achieved not the fact that you didn’t meet the timeline. Hugs Jen!15 -
WinoGelato wrote: »I just read a post that someone wrote on The Alcohol Experiment site: "Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it." I need to stick that on my fridge. Last night my husband and I shared a bottle of wine then said, "Hey lets get another!" Needless to say I feel guilt and anxiety and mad at myself this morning. Mercifully not hung over, but those other emotions are painful in a different way. My goal was to be sober until a wedding in September and I failed myself. All I can do is start fresh again today.
Hey.... we’ve all been there! You didn’t fail yourself. You broke a streak, which is disappointing for sure, but you had a night with your husband that included wine. That’s hardly something to feel like it’s failure. Don’t let an arbitrary goal create such pressure that anything less than achieving that goal entirely is a failure. Think of all the AF days you’ve had and will continue to have and how much of an improvement that is!
Agreed. The guilt thing goes back to my biggest eye opener this month. Sometimes we all beat ourself up so much over living in a moment. I am really working on not doing that anymore. The truth is Jen, you (and we all) have been stronger than I think we might have thought we could be this year. And we have this great group to come and talk about things with. And most importantly was your last line: “All I can do is start fresh again today.”6 -
@JenT304 I agree with everyone above. You enjoyed yourself- shouldn't we have joy and laughter every day? Of course we should enjoy life.
And you're human- we all have been there. We must be harder on ourselves than we are with our friends. But give yourself a little self love- say I do my best and some days my best is better/worse than other days.
I have read countless times that people who finally reach full sobriety have fell off the wagon dozens of times. Keep your goals small like everyone said. For today, i will be good to my body and eat healthy. Just small little goals. Don't feel guilty either. We are so hard on ourselves. So, you messed up but it sure was enjoyable at the time!
Thankfully, you have no hangover. That's a positive. Sending hugs!6 -
WinoGelato wrote: »I just read a post that someone wrote on The Alcohol Experiment site: "Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it." I need to stick that on my fridge. Last night my husband and I shared a bottle of wine then said, "Hey lets get another!" Needless to say I feel guilt and anxiety and mad at myself this morning. Mercifully not hung over, but those other emotions are painful in a different way. My goal was to be sober until a wedding in September and I failed myself. All I can do is start fresh again today.
Hey.... we’ve all been there! You didn’t fail yourself. You broke a streak, which is disappointing for sure, but you had a night with your husband that included wine. That’s hardly something to feel like it’s failure. Don’t let an arbitrary goal create such pressure that anything less than achieving that goal entirely is a failure. Think of all the AF days you’ve had and will continue to have and how much of an improvement that is!
Agreed. The guilt thing goes back to my biggest eye opener this month. Sometimes we all beat ourself up so much over living in a moment. I am really working on not doing that anymore. The truth is Jen, you (and we all) have been stronger than I think we might have thought we could be this year. And we have this great group to come and talk about things with. And most importantly was your last line: “All I can do is start fresh again today.”
Yes, I agree. The guilt thing is so huge. Must be traced back to our childhood. I think so many of people's issues stem from things in childhood. But that's the past. Anyway, you are so right, WE all have been so much stronger than previous year. Good point!6 -
@WinoGelato I like how you said "so you broke a streak." That's so true. Good way to state it. Xo4
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@NovusDies I'm happy you reflected online yesterday; that's what this thread is all about. Cutting the BS and being real. And you were real and honest. I'm happy you stayed the course; your mindset is really strong.4
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I kind of miss drinking tonight. Is that the same as being tempted? It feels different. Anyway, it has been a meh day and I swear tonight is passing by SO painfully slow. While I would not have minded having a fast forward button tonight that is not a good idea. Alleviating boredom was how I started drinking daily in the first place. No sense in tempting that fate again.
I get this, and this is where drinking as a habit plays such a huge role, often it's just boredom we're feeling. I loved Julie's suggestion about finding something comedic to watch. There are lots of other activities-- crawl into a good book, garden, take a stroll. I'm working towards moderation on the weekends, but that doesn't mean I must have a drink. In the same way that I drink a glass of water when I'm hungry as I may just be confusing it with thirst, I've been taking a walk first when I'm craving a drink. If I still want some after (and it's the weekend) I have it.7 -
Interesting side effect for me is lower resting pulse rate, and lower average pulse rate. Really did not expect that, plus a new low on the scale this morning, and this is only a little over a week AF!
HooRaw!!11 -
Westschmeis wrote: »Interesting side effect for me is lower resting pulse rate, and lower average pulse rate. Really did not expect that, plus a new low on the scale this morning, and this is only a little over a week AF!
HooRaw!!
Great points! Our friend @NormInv posted his significant resting pulse rate change dramatically lowered over the time he has been AF. So, you are so right about noticing that. So happy for your 8 days of AF! Awesome!4 -
@JenT304--you have made such progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It took me a lot of start and stops to get where I am today. Maybe 7 years worth or more.
I remember my son's annoyance when he asked if I had quit and I said that I hadn't and I was struggling, but trying. I had said prior that I was quitting.............He later said that my struggle was less than his with alcohol. How sad that made me. I have another that I do not want to go this route.
I am awfully hard on myself, I have been told and I agree. Most of my life, someone important was tough on me. It is no wonder I am this way and I have to fight against that regularly. I treat myself worse than I treat others often. Maybe it is a pattern with those who tend to have an alcohol issue or something like that... Maybe being this tough on myself has actually prolonged my issue with alcohol.7 -
salleewins wrote: »I remember my son's annoyance when he asked if I had quit and I said that I hadn't and I was struggling, but trying. I had said prior that I was quitting.............He later said that my struggle was less than his with alcohol. How sad that made me. I have another that I do not want to go this route.
I am awfully hard on myself, I have been told and I agree. Most of my life, someone important was tough on me. It is no wonder I am this way and I have to fight against that regularly. I treat myself worse than I treat others often. Maybe it is a pattern with those who tend to have an alcohol issue or something like that... Maybe being this tough on myself has actually prolonged my issue with alcohol.
@salleewins Hugs!
Sometimes we can get into a really morbid mindset. A morbid downward spiral.
Focusing on the bad things we do to ourselves and on our bad health aren't often great motivators.
I think that's why "Being Kind to Tomorrow You" has been said to be helpful by so many.
Focusing on doing nice things, and giving ourselves the treat of sobriety or moderation is a positive thing that breeds more positivity and good emotions.
Have you participated in the Self-care challenge threads at all? I love them for their positive "vibes".
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