Less Alcohol- July 2018- One Day at a Time
Replies
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Wow @NormInv that is amazing. And inspiring. Thanks for sharing.2
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This is proof why I need this group. Last month I said something about how I ignore this when I tend to go off a bit. And I haven't posted in a little.
Well I really used these last few days as an excuse to ignore my health. Between a graduation party and July 4th BBQs I did not moderate my drinking, and I ate terrible foods.
I gotta wonder what is it about events like those that we find an excuse to treat our bodies like crap? Why did I have the extra beers? Why do I settle for the terrible salty foods that are provided instead of bring something myself? Why did I eat two pieces of cake - and I don't even like sweets.
Well, I always try to find the positives. I did stay very active, so at least I did something nice to my body. And the old me might have used this past week as a reason to quit. At least the current me is mad at myself and looking to get back on track.10 -
Well, I always try to find the positives. I did stay very active, so at least I did something nice to my body. And the old me might have used this past week as a reason to quit. At least the current me is mad at myself and looking to get back on track.
One step back...two steps forward!! You are still going forward by being honest with yourself and others. So, you reverted to old, likely deeply-ingrained bad habits. I suppose this just means that you are imperfect like the rest of us. Sounds like you're learning more about yourself because you have the courage to ask the questions. Keep on keepin' on is all I can say. YAY current you!!
Hope your day stays positive
7 -
This is proof why I need this group. Last month I said something about how I ignore this when I tend to go off a bit. And I haven't posted in a little.
Well I really used these last few days as an excuse to ignore my health. Between a graduation party and July 4th BBQs I did not moderate my drinking, and I ate terrible foods.
I gotta wonder what is it about events like those that we find an excuse to treat our bodies like crap? Why did I have the extra beers? Why do I settle for the terrible salty foods that are provided instead of bring something myself? Why did I eat two pieces of cake - and I don't even like sweets.
Well, I always try to find the positives. I did stay very active, so at least I did something nice to my body. And the old me might have used this past week as a reason to quit. At least the current me is mad at myself and looking to get back on track.
I think answering the questions of why we do what we do is one way we move beyond habits we don't like.
I don't eat a lot of sweets either. I can eat one snack-sized snickers bar and not want anything else sweet for a month or more. However, if I have had enough to drink I have been known to grab that otherwise very safe Tupperware of tiny assorted candy bars and just binge. Not only are my inhibitions lowered I suddenly want more sweet items than I would probably normally eat in 3 years.5 -
I too over-indulged with the excuse that yesterday was a Holiday. I will no longer be buying any 'box' wine. Not only is it low-quality stuff, it is hard to monitor how much you've had. Today's hangover is just not worth it.7
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spygirl2014 wrote: »I too over-indulged with the excuse that yesterday was a Holiday. I will no longer be buying any 'box' wine. Not only is it low-quality stuff, it is hard to monitor how much you've had. Today's hangover is just not worth it.
So true! Like someone says, try to be kind to the tomorrow you.
Hangovers are brutal but I guess they are great reminders of the poison we ingested. Hang in there! I sometimes drink some chicken broth to help - i figure it has salt, vitamins and it's soothing.5 -
@erikNJ very easy to do on the holidays. The habits/mind goes into autopilot. And sometimes it really sucks not to indulge when everyone else is. It's very understandable. But each experience is a learning tool. Hang in there!6
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I can't say much. Since I was never an anxiety or stress drinker I could find the dumbest reasons to celebrate. Holidays were a given but I enjoyed celebrating hair cuts too.
Now, of course, I didn't need the extra incentive to drink but somehow in my brain it made it better somehow.
5 -
OK, so here's my post-July 4th story: I have been having good success for a week with a changed mind-set that I am a non-drinker--not counting days but just not even considering drinking. Until, as they say in Mamma Mia, "dot, dot, dot." No, I didn't paddle off to an island with Colin Firth (darn!), but I went to a 7/4 BBQ and thought, "I'm a non-drinker, so I can decide to be out of character for one day and then right back to it." I didn't drink a lot, just 2 drinks. Then, the weirdest thing happened. I started obsessing over the fact that my life is 2/3 over (assuming I make it to 90 like my Jane Fonda mom is well on her way to doing), and getting super depressed. Yep. Alcohol is a depressant and it did its work big time.
At the hotel where I celebrated my 25th anniversary last month, at the turn-down service they left us a beautiful little silver charm of an elephant. The attached card said he was named "Milagro" (Spanish for "miracle) and was a symbol of the hotel. Also, there was mention of elephants' memories and wishes that our stay there and future adventures would create many wonderful ones. The hotel is one of just over 100 in the U.S. with 5 AAA Diamonds, and I could see why after that little gesture. Anyway, this a.m. I've decided to go find a nice silver chain for Milagro because I need to be constantly mindful, remembering my intentions, and I think I also need a milagro.
Back to my true self, the non-drinker, today. I'm not really discouraged. Just intrigued by how complex this process is. I hope none of us is beating ourselves up today. Happy 5th of July!
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@donimfp. I have been following your struggles with this for months and I really really feel like I relate to you in so many ways. We are both in the same boat a lot of the time. I appreciate your insights.2
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Same here, @JenT304. I wish it were easy and simple, but it's not. But it's a worthwhile adventure. Milagro is now hanging on a chain around my neck. Nice to have a reminder of miracles close by.
Me, three. For me, the pickle cannot go back to being a cucumber. At least, you only had two drinks. But the negative is the depression.1 -
I am finding a great deal of help reading these messages - from serious changes in resting pulse to discoveries from slips.
I did not have what has become my one daily beer today. Didn't really miss it. Thanks for being there!8 -
Hi All
I am just getting back to this thread after a week long project.
Boy I had a lot of catching up to do as far as all the posts you guys sure do write a bit so you know a quick story, I have been closing up a storage unit that is packed full of old furniture junk and things I should have gotten rid of years ago including over 1500 pounds of paper to shred it has been over 90 and the heat index over 100 and my unit was on the second floor under the roof so probably even hotter. I finished each day exhausted hot and filthy dirty as my friend said one hot mess.
Flash back over 10 years ago and I would have gotten home poured 8 ounces of gin in a glass over two ice cubes plopped down into my chair feeling sorry for my self and " enjoyed my drink" usually followed by another which would have left me asleep in my chair till some time in the middle of the night when I would have dragged myself to bed. This week having been AF for over 10 years and despite being 70 I finished up working got home drank about 60 ounces of water grabbed a hot shower and a lite meal and within an hour was feeling pretty good sore muscles aside.
The lifestyle changes I have effected over the last ten years have removed so many restrictions and granted me many new abilities and freedoms.
To address the sweets I found the cravings slowly over the first few months eventually diminished as I increased my exercise levels and got my dopamine jolt from walking and eventually running.
My resting pulse went from 80 to now about 45 BPM as a runner I have had many conversations with my DR and my SIL who is physician as it dropped he checked for dizziness and had me sit and stand quickly as it continued to drop over the years he has reassured me it wont go below 40 to 45 BPM and while he credits total lifestyle changes for the drop I strongly feel my BP and pulse both started dropping quickly after I went AF11 -
@Ke22yB very helpful reflections. Thank you so much! It gives me added fuel to stay strong. Xo0
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I am back (was in and out of the thread a few months ago.) I am not a heavy drinker, but have been a daily drinker most of my adult life. I generally have 1-2 glasses of wine or vodka soda each day. Tuesday night I had more to drink than I should have and woke up Wednesday feeling kind of crappy.
I think I drink because it lifts my mood in the short term, but I really think it is actually contributing at some level to the sadness I have been feeling lately. I haven't ever had issues with depression, but lately I just am feeling off. Anyway I am really going to try and cut back. I started yesterday...Independence Day. I am thinking of it as my "independence" from the hold alcohol has on me. So it isn't much, but 2 days down. Thank you all for sharing your struggles and triumphs. It helps to know I am not alone.11 -
fitand50inSD wrote: »I am back (was in and out of the thread a few months ago.) I am not a heavy drinker, but have been a daily drinker most of my adult life. I generally have 1-2 glasses of wine or vodka soda each day. Tuesday night I had more to drink than I should have and woke up Wednesday feeling kind of crappy.
I think I drink because it lifts my mood in the short term, but I really think it is actually contributing at some level to the sadness I have been feeling lately. I haven't ever had issues with depression, but lately I just am feeling off. Anyway I am really going to try and cut back. I started yesterday...Independence Day. I am thinking of it as my "independence" from the hold alcohol has on me. So it isn't much, but 2 days down. Thank you all for sharing your struggles and triumphs. It helps to know I am not alone.
Alcohol is known to be a depressant. Welcome back. I am in the middle of the book by Jack Vale "Kick the drink easily". Very very interesting. You may want to read it; I was just reading it. I'll post some excerpts tomorrow.0 -
Thank you Julie. I just sent a sample of the book to my Kindle.1
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fitand50inSD wrote: »Thank you Julie. I just sent a sample of the book to my Kindle.
It took the About 40 pages to get into the heart of the matter. But once he does , I found myself highlighting some things I want to remember. Xo0 -
@Ke22yB I have been contemplating some of your posts. Sometimes it takes me some time to digest. I was thinking about one of @WinoGelato's posts about treating alcohol the same way she treats food on a diet for almost 2 months before I was ready to apply it.
Anyway, over your 10 year journey you mentioned the few exceptions like the toast at the wedding. I have been trying to figure out what moderation will mean for me going forward and it seems to me I should treat future drinks the same way I would an optional expensive expenditure. If I spend money I want value. One sitting of alcohol may not be that expensive in money but it is in health and time. Even if I get most of a pass on the next day hangover, which may not be the case anymore, it still messes with my sleep for at least 3 days and usually 5. I can retain water and be uncomfortable for 8 days afterwards. Last, but not least, if I become even slightly impaired I can lose hours of not being in the moment. There are even worse health considerations that are more cumulative.
So I am sticking with my rule of not drinking until I can figure out what benefit it will bring but now I think I have a good and familiar way of weighing it out. I may not hold it to your level of standards for an exception but hopefully it will never be on a whim again.7 -
@NovusDies I too have decided to drink alcohol VERY rarely. My next scheduled drink will be a champagne toast at a wedding in September (IF I even want to). I'm stating my intention to all of you right now and you can all gently remind me of that if need be but I feel pretty strong in my resolve. It just doesn't feel fun to me anymore.4
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@NovusDies I too have decided to drink alcohol VERY rarely. My next scheduled drink will be a champagne toast at a wedding in September (IF I even want to). I'm stating my intention to all of you right now and you can all gently remind me of that if need be but I feel pretty strong in my resolve. It just doesn't feel fun to me anymore.
Hopefully it won't be needed. I do have a fairly decent memory for these kinds of things and I am invested in your success so I will try my best to remind you if needed.
If I need a reminder I would rather it not be gentle. Be brutal, cuss at me, hit me over the head , whatever it takes.
I don't really have an idea of when I might drink again. It is a very unusual place to be in. I was mildly tempted on the 3rd but afterwards I haven't heard from my alcohol brain again which surprised me on the actual 4th.
I checked yesterday because I knew it was close and apparently today marks my 60th one day at a time. That is so crazy when I think about it.11 -
@NovusDies Bravo! 60th one day at a times !5
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »@NovusDies Bravo! 60th one day at a times !
Thanks and thanks for phrasing it that way for me. That is the mindset that works best for me. I am not trying to accomplish anything specific just deal with today's outcome and I doubt I will be drinking today.4 -
Hi Friends, I'm sitting at a bar with a club soda and wings. Still on vacation and still not going to drink. Here is an excerpt from Jack Vale's book Kick the drink easily. This is how I'm feeling right now. But I'm still resolute to continue AF for now.
"The reality is not that alcohol makes you happy; it’s that you are miserable without it. If you have drunk alcohol at every social occasion for years, you simply cannot imagine life without it. Your only reference to alcohol-free social gatherings is when you are forced not to drink because you are driving, on medication, being nagged, on the wagon or for some other reason. Your brain now tells you that a night without alcohol makes you unhappy and a night with alcohol makes you happy. But it’s not the alcohol making you happy, it’s just that you feel deprived when you can’t have it, so you are miserable. This is because you have always relied on alcohol to help you enjoy a social gathering."6 -
Im drinking a beer!!!!
.....Virgil's zero sugar root beer to be precise....4 -
5+ months so far.
Recent struggle:
My anxiety was high this week due to parkrun responsibilities which I completed this morning without any issues. We'd had a work function on Thursday I chose not to attend, since I knew I'd have those anxieties, plus I haven't been to any small social events while being alcohol-free and I didn't feel the need to put extra pressure on myself. I needed to use prescription medication (valium) twice this week to cope with the physical symptoms of the anxiety, which was something I'd avoided for a long time.
Recent success:
I managed to observe my emotions and manage them so that I kept to my AF principles. I was honest with my workmates about the reason I was declining the work function.
Realisations:
I realised I didn't have to be a martyr with the anxiety and used medication when it was necessary. I had good discussions with a workmate and my sister about not drinking at social events. I feel more confident about attending other events in the future.
My sister said that you can feed off other's happy vibes at social events. After the first drink they aren't going to notice what you drink, so have a glass of sparkling something with a slice of lemon and they won't care at all.
My workmate said there were quite a few others not drinking at the function, and it wasn't a crazy party or anything.
My sister also agreed with me about how the "smiley happy people drinking alcohol" images all are about us all needing to artificially enhance our feelings of fear in social situations. The longer we stay out socialising, the more stress we need to numb with drugs/alcohol. She said at the point when people start not making sense, or repeating themselves, and that's her cue to leave the party without feeling any guilt.
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jenbrothers01 wrote: »I'm in!!! Starting a new healthy lifestyle and I want to be alcchol free.
@jenbrothers01 Welcome! Keep reading in here, and I'm sure you'll find something that helps your particular circumstances.I've been lurking since June but I'm ready to jump in! I love how positive and encouraging everyone is here (and @JulieAL1969 and @NovusDies - you guys provide so much great info and insight that has really impacted the way I'm thinking about drinking AND eating, bc I'm finding this information applies to both). Over the years my "weekend wine" has become more frequent that just weekends, and I hate the effects on my waistline and how I feel, but it's such an easy trap to stay in (especially with work, kids, life stress - and in summer, it seems to be even worse). I would really like to cut way back. Still deciding if that means totally "Dry July" or if I want to have some other plan. Guess I better figure that out quickly.
I lost weight tracking calories on MFP years ago, and I dabble in tracking here and there, but I know that consistent dedication is what needs to happen. I also had success with WW in the past. For the past few years, though, it seems that the things that used to work just aren't any more, and I get frustrated when I don't see results so I throw in the towel - again and again. I would love to know what other threads on MFP you guys like for weight loss, and if you have any tips in addition to cutting back on alcohol!
@jaime920 Glad you've jumped in!!
I started being alcohol-free at the time of Feb Fast. I didn't announce I was planning the full month. I just took it one day at a time. One day led to the next, and now it's been more than 5 months. You can do this!
With alcohol, losing weight is the same. One day leads to the next. I lost 80 lbs the first year with MFP and got to goal weight, then have kept at goal 2 years 3 months so far, by just making a bit of an effort every day, eating what I want, and sticking to my calorie limit.
My best weight loss tip is "Be honest with yourself".
Check out this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9AdlhB18o
Quote from James Fell:
"It tells the tale of actor Debbie Chazen who reports that: “I’ve been big all my life.” She says she eats a healthy diet and stays active, and explains her weight by saying, “I believe I must be one of those people who has a slow metabolism.” She says she is “eating well, doing lots of exercise,” so it must be her metabolism, right?
And so in the video they have an expert test her metabolic rate. The results? A perfectly normal metabolic rate for someone of her size. “Almost spot on” was the term used. So why is Debbie obese? Why can’t she lose weight? (Note: there are medical conditions that can affect weight gain such as hypothyroidism and Cushing’s syndrome. Medication can also be a culprit.)
The researchers got her to keep a food diary to gain understanding. They wanted to find out if she was “eating more than the 2,000 calories per day recommended for the average woman of her age and height.” But beyond the food diary, the researchers decided to spy on Debbie as well using a scientific method called “doubly-labeled water” to get an accurate measurement of not only how many calories she consumes, but how much she burns.
The first four days of the reporting of food intake was a video diary. Here are the results:
Debbie’s reporting: “about 1,100 calories” a day.
Reality as per the doubly-labeled water: 3,000 calories a day.
She was off by almost a factor of three.
The next five days were done via a written diary, which the documentary asserts allows people to be more thorough, but still she underreported her caloric intake by 43%. The video then asserts that this is common, as on average people underreport their food intake by as much as 50%.
[...]
As someone who is very opposed to fat shaming of any kind, please don’t take this as such. I understand that this can be construed as me saying, “Stop sucking at math, fatty,” but that’s not what I’m trying to communicate. The majority of the planet is bad at tracking caloric intake and burn. REALLY bad at it, so don’t feel as though it’s a personal failing if you’re part of this majority.
Accurate tracking is a tough skill to learn, especially in an environment where we’re constantly surrounded by hyper-yummy junk food, machines doing most of our work for us, and fancy, interesting things on electronic screens that lead us to sit for hours on end.
So, after reading all this, what is this “most important thing” you can do to lose weight and keep it off? The answer is not an easy one to accept or to implement, and before telling you I must remind you that there are myriad methods in which to create a sustained caloric deficit. There are lots of diets and lots of ways to engage in more physical activity to burn more calories. But through all of this, to lose weight, you must do this one thing:
You must be honest with yourself.
Brutally honest."
===
In addition to this, here is a list of all the best threads on MFP that tell you how to count calories properly.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10260499/i-like-old-posts-and-i-cannot-lie/p1
My success with weight loss owes a massive debt to the excellent resources other successful people on MFP have shared in the Community forums.
The MFP Community is absolutely awesome, and this thread we're in right here is another example.
5 -
jenbrothers01 wrote: »I'm in!!! Starting a new healthy lifestyle and I want to be alcchol free.
@jenbrothers01 Welcome! Keep reading in here, and I'm sure you'll find something that helps your particular circumstances.I've been lurking since June but I'm ready to jump in! I love how positive and encouraging everyone is here (and @JulieAL1969 and @NovusDies - you guys provide so much great info and insight that has really impacted the way I'm thinking about drinking AND eating, bc I'm finding this information applies to both). Over the years my "weekend wine" has become more frequent that just weekends, and I hate the effects on my waistline and how I feel, but it's such an easy trap to stay in (especially with work, kids, life stress - and in summer, it seems to be even worse). I would really like to cut way back. Still deciding if that means totally "Dry July" or if I want to have some other plan. Guess I better figure that out quickly.
I lost weight tracking calories on MFP years ago, and I dabble in tracking here and there, but I know that consistent dedication is what needs to happen. I also had success with WW in the past. For the past few years, though, it seems that the things that used to work just aren't any more, and I get frustrated when I don't see results so I throw in the towel - again and again. I would love to know what other threads on MFP you guys like for weight loss, and if you have any tips in addition to cutting back on alcohol!
@jaime920 Glad you've jumped in!!
I started being alcohol-free at the time of Feb Fast. I didn't announce I was planning the full month. I just took it one day at a time. One day led to the next, and now it's been more than 5 months. You can do this!
With alcohol, losing weight is the same. One day leads to the next. I lost 80 lbs the first year with MFP and got to goal weight, then have kept at goal 2 years 3 months so far, by just making a bit of an effort every day, eating what I want, and sticking to my calorie limit.
My best weight loss tip is "Be honest with yourself".
Check out this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9AdlhB18o
Quote from James Fell:
"It tells the tale of actor Debbie Chazen who reports that: “I’ve been big all my life.” She says she eats a healthy diet and stays active, and explains her weight by saying, “I believe I must be one of those people who has a slow metabolism.” She says she is “eating well, doing lots of exercise,” so it must be her metabolism, right?
And so in the video they have an expert test her metabolic rate. The results? A perfectly normal metabolic rate for someone of her size. “Almost spot on” was the term used. So why is Debbie obese? Why can’t she lose weight? (Note: there are medical conditions that can affect weight gain such as hypothyroidism and Cushing’s syndrome. Medication can also be a culprit.)
The researchers got her to keep a food diary to gain understanding. They wanted to find out if she was “eating more than the 2,000 calories per day recommended for the average woman of her age and height.” But beyond the food diary, the researchers decided to spy on Debbie as well using a scientific method called “doubly-labeled water” to get an accurate measurement of not only how many calories she consumes, but how much she burns.
The first four days of the reporting of food intake was a video diary. Here are the results:
Debbie’s reporting: “about 1,100 calories” a day.
Reality as per the doubly-labeled water: 3,000 calories a day.
She was off by almost a factor of three.
The next five days were done via a written diary, which the documentary asserts allows people to be more thorough, but still she underreported her caloric intake by 43%. The video then asserts that this is common, as on average people underreport their food intake by as much as 50%.
[...]
As someone who is very opposed to fat shaming of any kind, please don’t take this as such. I understand that this can be construed as me saying, “Stop sucking at math, fatty,” but that’s not what I’m trying to communicate. The majority of the planet is bad at tracking caloric intake and burn. REALLY bad at it, so don’t feel as though it’s a personal failing if you’re part of this majority.
Accurate tracking is a tough skill to learn, especially in an environment where we’re constantly surrounded by hyper-yummy junk food, machines doing most of our work for us, and fancy, interesting things on electronic screens that lead us to sit for hours on end.
So, after reading all this, what is this “most important thing” you can do to lose weight and keep it off? The answer is not an easy one to accept or to implement, and before telling you I must remind you that there are myriad methods in which to create a sustained caloric deficit. There are lots of diets and lots of ways to engage in more physical activity to burn more calories. But through all of this, to lose weight, you must do this one thing:
You must be honest with yourself.
Brutally honest."
===
In addition to this, here is a list of all the best threads on MFP that tell you how to count calories properly.
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10260499/i-like-old-posts-and-i-cannot-lie/p1
My success with weight loss owes a massive debt to the excellent resources other successful people on MFP have shared in the Community forums.
The MFP Community is absolutely awesome, and this thread we're in right here is another example.
Thank you for this! An eye opening explanation of reality2 -
@NovusDies For me moderation is every few years or so The first time I indulged? was on New Years eve 3.5 years after I started my journey to improved health I had lost over 120 pounds by then and increased my running and working out from barely walking to running. The toast and wine at my daughters wedding was February 2014 and that was the last time I had any alcohol. I couldn't figure out what moderation would be for me at the level I was drinking before I started. I used to drink a pint of gin a day and even if I cut my consumption down to 25% of what it had been it still would have been 4 ounces a day way to much for the way I WANTED to live. I was fortunate that I never had to deal with strong cravings after I went AF.
I being retired am able to travel quite a bit and vacation 5 or 6 times a year as well as evenings out for dinner with friends and have found my viewpoint as well as my lifestyle has changed completely, if we find ourselves with a couple that either drink way to much or keeps recounting the times that they got " lit or toasted" or whatever terms they use I am just puzzled and cant understand the attraction anymore.
I am not anti or a person that judges others as we travel my wife will still have some wine in our room at the resort or have a glass with dinner when we are out and as that is what she feels enhances her vacations or dinners that is her moderation and so to each his or her own is my feeling primarily we each control our drinking in our own way.
I am leaving for West Palm beach Singer Island tomorrow morning and for me it doesn't mean drinking it means running on the beach and swimming more every day.
I will drop in as often as possible while we are away, I will be back home in two weeks9
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