Less Alcohol- July 2018- One Day at a Time
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Tonight is my monthly dinner at a Brewery with a group of friends. I have to get up two hours early for work tomorrow, so that will keep me on my best behavior. Probably just have one or two pints and enjoy the laughs. Then try to get to bed as early as possible.5
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Happy birthday Julie, have fun tonight!1
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Life is kind of funny. I put something away this morning and saw my "stash" of alcohol. I have always bought my normal brand of vodka by the case to avoid all the extra tax dollars on it. Of course I discovered I no longer had to keep drinking even semi-regularly almost immediately after purchasing a new case which is now (thankfully) collecting dust still unopened. What are the odds of that happening and if moderation turns out to be pretty rare events even after I achieve more weight loss do I just keep that case or get rid of it? Not to worry though. As much as I hate wasting money that alone is not even close to enough reason to successfully tempt me right now. I do wish I had waited 3 days and avoided buying it though. One of these days when I pass what would be the consumption of that case I will start saving money like everyone else.
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I went through our January thread and see many familiar faces that are still with us in July! Others I dont recall seeing on the thread after awhile, I wish them success. And hope they check in and let us know how they're doing.
Hey I forgot that Dry July is very popular in other countries!
@NovusDies Did you ever see the movie "Somewhere in Time" with Christopher Reeve? At the end , he sees the penny. That reminded me of your experience seeing your stash of alcohol. And I'm proud of you that it's all still there. You have a great resolve.2 -
Chiming in with my happy birthday wishes to our fearless leader, Julie! I hope you enjoy your birthday weekend (my husband is one of those that celebrates an entire week of fun activities) and that you have no regrets!
If I can offer some free advice from my mindful moderation - sip slowly, alternate drinks with water, don't be in a rush to order refills, and one of my newest tricks - a visual reminder of the plan you have. Agree with yourself ahead of time what your max number of drinks is - 1? 2? 3? I have bangle bracelets and I wear the number of bracelets that signify how many drinks I agreed that I could have, and after I drink one, I take the bracelet off and put it in my purse. When the bracelets are gone I remind myself that I said no more after this. It's worked a couple of times to get me to just say, "no thanks, I'm done" when the server comes around. It also helps my mindset to actually switch to a coffee, or order a dessert at that point.
Enjoy!6 -
@WinoGelato Thanks so much for the tips! I will need them. I love the bracelet idea!! I will drink lots of water and eat food. I sometimes forget to eat while drinking and then I'm screwed. I like your husband's style!2
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@JulieAL1969 I love that movie. I have probably seen it 40+ times over the years. I bought the soundtrack shortly after I saw it the first time and I know it so well I can hum every note. I was always the strange kid that loved classical music though.
In Groundhog Day Billy Murray plays a jazzy version of Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini which is an interesting choice since it is another romantic movie with a time component. Ok. It is probably not interesting to anyone but me.1 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Chiming in with my happy birthday wishes to our fearless leader, Julie! I hope you enjoy your birthday weekend (my husband is one of those that celebrates an entire week of fun activities) and that you have no regrets!
If I can offer some free advice from my mindful moderation - sip slowly, alternate drinks with water, don't be in a rush to order refills, and one of my newest tricks - a visual reminder of the plan you have. Agree with yourself ahead of time what your max number of drinks is - 1? 2? 3? I have bangle bracelets and I wear the number of bracelets that signify how many drinks I agreed that I could have, and after I drink one, I take the bracelet off and put it in my purse. When the bracelets are gone I remind myself that I said no more after this. It's worked a couple of times to get me to just say, "no thanks, I'm done" when the server comes around. It also helps my mindset to actually switch to a coffee, or order a dessert at that point.
Enjoy!
What a great idea!2 -
I might have gotten a little carried away. You guys and your insights are amazing. My list from yesterday has more than doubled but I have finished the April thread. I am beginning to worry the resource post is going to be too long next month.
Here is the rough draft which has not been checked for grammar or spelling yet. If anyone sees anything that I have accidentally plagiarized please let me know. I think I was careful avoiding direct quotes from books and articles. Some of these may need to be deleted or combined but, as I said, this is the rough draft. I welcome any comments, rewrites, or criticisms.
Tips & Observations from the Community on the Journey to Less/No Alcohol.- If you have been drinking daily the first days will be some of the hardest and drinking again will feel like a cure but it delays the relief that only time can provide.
- Some people who ultimately intend to drink less and moderate have said that the initial struggle of breaking free of a daily habit is the same as it is for people who intend to stop drinking entirely.
- If you are not careful there will always be a reason to delay the start of your journey.
- You may have mood swings and anxiety those first two week, but continue to focus on how good you feel
- Many report that initially filling the time they drink with other activities is a helpful distraction. Exercise, taking a nice walk, a new hobby or renewed interest in an old one, and meditation are among some of the favorite alternate activities.
- You may find it easier to isolate yourself from events that will have drinking for a time if you find it too tempting
- Don't let pride or shame keep you from asking for the help you need.
- Sometimes talking it out or posting it helps you work things out for yourself.
- It is okay that you don't always have all the answers
- Some days will be easier than others
- You may have initial/increased sugar cravings
- You should never take a day that you have lived up to your goals for granted
- Do not take smaller victories for granted. Less alcohol is still less alcohol even if you wanted none in that moment.
- Some people find it easier to set small attainable goals to start to help boost confidence.
- There is no benefit to comparing yourself to people who drink freely or people who have made progress towards their less alcohol goals. This is a personal journey.
- Once you begin sticking to your goals for one day to many days you should believe you are capable of the same and more because you are.
- Failure is not giving in and drinking. Failure is to stop trying to accomplish your goals.
- It is possible to believe two contradictory things at the same time. You will know that there are numerous real benefits to sticking to your goal while at the same time think that alcohol is an important part of stress relief, relaxation, celebration, etc.
- Sometimes not drinking feels like a punishment but that feeling fades with time
- Sometimes drinking less or quitting will strain friendships that centered around alcohol
- Having a list of reasons not to drink handy for yourself can be helpful. Some lists have included remembering how bad it feels to have a hangover, having a racing heart during the night, sleeplessness, anxiety, and depression.
- It is important to have a plan when faced with either cravings or situations where you might want to drink. For example, if you don't want to drink at a social function, what will be your escape plan, how will you handle it if offered a drink?
- If you are out and your intention is to only drink a certain amount some people will intentionally only bring enough money for the amount they wish to drink. If you do not wish to drink some people will only carry their driver's license with them.
- Self-Reflection is an important part of the journey. Once we figure out why we drink we can hopefully use that information to form new habits.
- Sometimes doing something nice for yourself like a little award makes the journey easier
- When the temptation is really strong consider spending the money you would on alcohol on something else nice for yourself
- For some people counting the alcohol free days makes it easier while others find it makes it much harder
- It is not uncommon for certain activities that were once combined with alcohol to trigger temptation. Many have said that outdoor activities in warmer weather made alcohol very tempting.
- Many that have spent time with no alcohol after drinking again realized that it doesn't enhance experiences like they once believed it did
- Make a list of everything that has gotten better and easier since you started your journey. Use these rewards to return to a better place if you fall off your path.
- Some find that returning to the habit of daily drinking on vacations or work trips makes it hard to quit again afterwards
- For some people it is easier to not drink and even easier to drink. Moderating is the tough thing. Others have found moderating impossible.
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@JulieAL1969 I love that movie. I have probably seen it 40+ times over the years. I bought the soundtrack shortly after I saw it the first time and I know it so well I can hum every note. I was always the strange kid that loved classical music though.
In Groundhog Day Billy Murray plays a jazzy version of Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini which is an interesting choice since it is another romantic movie with a time component. Ok. It is probably not interesting to anyone but me.
You are not alone! I'm a classical musician and I notice this kind of thing even when I totally forget the plot.
And your list is amazing.2 -
I think the list is a great addition, @NovusDies
I think having that in the OP/first page is going to help a lot of people.
I think sometimes people seeing a challenge thread title, only look at the first post, then say, "I need to do this", but never actually get around to learning HOW to do this.
Education is key, and as the list says, self-reflection. We also learn from others' reflections.3 -
I am feeling calmer and relieved back to AF following a few months experimenting with moderation. The hardest moments are in the store where I see a favourite beer and need to kick myself a bit to walk on by. Once I get home with nothing it's easy - I also love having more calories for food!
Reading all if your messages is fantastic. Thanks.
I am able to completely avoid the beer/wine section at grocery. Are you able to do that?2 -
@JulieAL1969 I love that movie. I have probably seen it 40+ times over the years. I bought the soundtrack shortly after I saw it the first time and I know it so well I can hum every note. I was always the strange kid that loved classical music though.
In Groundhog Day Billy Murray plays a jazzy version of Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini which is an interesting choice since it is another romantic movie with a time component. Ok. It is probably not interesting to anyone but me.
You are not alone! I'm a classical musician and I notice this kind of thing even when I totally forget the plot.
And your list is amazing.
That is awesome. I wish I could have pursued music more. I was a talented enough singer for local venues and plays but that was never more than a nice hobby/way to meet girls.
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18 days in and I am feeling very good.
My health is better and I can visually see the changes.
My psoriasis was flaring up but over the last 18 days its subsided and the skin is clear. My BP is back to normal and I now have beautiful flowing hair....
.....ok that last part was wishful thinking but the rest is true13 -
I think the list is a great addition, @NovusDies
I think having that in the OP/first page is going to help a lot of people.
I think sometimes people seeing a challenge thread title, only look at the first post, then say, "I need to do this", but never actually get around to learning HOW to do this.
Education is key, and as the list says, self-reflection. We also learn from others' reflections.
Stop saying insightful things that I might want to include on the list!!
I have no idea what I am going to do with that monster of a list. Some of it can be re-phrased with less words since I was collecting more than worrying about verbiage but I don't think that will be enough. I am not going to worry about it tonight though.
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There was a major electricity outage in my town today--almost all day. By the time the electricity was restored this evening, our house was almost 85 degrees inside. Anyway . . . that is why I was late in wishing you a happy birthday, Julie! No Internet, no this, no that. I forget how dependent we are on electricity. But HAPPY BIRTHDAY anyway. You are at a wonderful age . . . it was one of my favorites!
Tonight before the juice came back on, I told my husband, "I'm fine sleeping tonight. As long as I have a wet washcloth and a fan, I'm good. He looked at me and said, "You realize you won't have a fan if there isn't any electricity." OMG. Is my mind going? I don't think so because I recovered and said, "Oh, ha ha! I meant that you will of course be fanning me throughout the night, right my love?" He's really relieved that the AC is back on.
Grocery stores that don't sell beer and wine? I had no idea. (There were over 30 posts when I got Internet back so I'm just catching up). Of course, I think there are states that sell hard liquor in grocery stores. Seems I remember that in New Mexico. That is a temptation for sure. Not for me . . . my husband does the grocery shopping. Geez, I'm just realizing I'm a spoiled brat.
Enjoying the non-drinking life at the moment. But I love the bracelet idea @WinoGelato if I ever decide to attempt moderation. That's something that I can envision working. Concrete and practical.4 -
@donimfp I am a fan of yours but I definitely do not bring anything in the cool department. I am tragically unhip.
I was just talking with a buddy of mine about how we survived with little to no air conditioning when we were kids. My room didn't have heat or air (I was the only one without in my family). I had a window and a box fan. Now I am destroying the planet with my low thermostat settings and I am so fussy I have to flip my pillow constantly when I am dozing to rest on the cool side.2 -
I am able to completely avoid the beer/wine section at grocery. Are you able to do that?
Here in the Detroit area, our grocery stores don't just have an alcohol section anymore. They put it EVERYWHERE. When you first walk in it's on display, on end caps, near the wine glasses, right now with the picnic supplies, etc. It's in our gas stations, Dollar General stores all sell beer and wine, my local CVS pharmacy just upgraded their offerings to include liquor, in fact the whole last page of their sale paper is booze deals. It's unavoidable everywhere I go, but I have gotten very good at ignoring it.
Anyway, hello everyone :-) Nothing to report here, just staying AF and finding it much easier after 6 months of actively trying to get it out of my life. I am not counting days this time, or even missing it. Perhaps it's happened? I dunno and I certainly am not going to become complacent. I will always be a pickle ;-) Best wishes to you all, whatever your goals.
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islandbeez wrote: »
I am able to completely avoid the beer/wine section at grocery. Are you able to do that?
Here in the Detroit area, our grocery stores don't just have an alcohol section anymore. They put it EVERYWHERE. When you first walk in it's on display, on end caps, near the wine glasses, right now with the picnic supplies, etc. It's in our gas stations, Dollar General stores all sell beer and wine, my local CVS pharmacy just upgraded their offerings to include liquor, in fact the whole last page of their sale paper is booze deals. It's unavoidable everywhere I go, but I have gotten very good at ignoring it.
Anyway, hello everyone :-) Nothing to report here, just staying AF and finding it much easier after 6 months of actively trying to get it out of my life. I am not counting days this time, or even missing it. Perhaps it's happened? I dunno and I certainly am not going to become complacent. I will always be a pickle ;-) Best wishes to you all, whatever your goals.
First, really glad to see ya on here
Second, horrible about alcohol on display
Third, Amazon online grocery?
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@islandbeez, I am so happy for your success. Yay! Gives me hope.
I've noticed that @norminv's 18 days go a LOT faster than my 18 days. Weird!4 -
Small victory-- I had a horrible workday yesterday, and 3 weeks ago I would have been drinking last night either to console myself or celebrate that the work day was over (whichever excuse I felt like at the moment) instead, I went for a walk with my husband.
Moderation for me means a drink or two weekend nights and Holidays. I'm happy to be sticking to the plan, and now I can understand how people get in 6 am workouts! Happy to have found this thread, I wish I had months ago. Thanks all for the tips and insight.
I'll add belated Birthday wishes to JulieAL1969. I'm a '69er too!4 -
Hello!! I have finally caught up and have time to post in the same moment! I have been doing good. My new passion is yoga! I am loving it more every day. I wouldn't be able to do it if I was still drinking wine every night. I'm only on the weekends having 1-2 glasses, but I've been feeling lately like, "why?". I think NovusDies said that he was asking himself if he has a good reason to drink and how will it benefit him. I think I'm going to do that as well.
Donimfp, I don't think that I can live without AC. I was out of AC for 1 day at work and I had to take a 1/2 day off. I don't do being hot well. Well, I am HOT, but I don't do being hot! haha! I a little bit of Friday afternoon humor.
Norminv, You crack me up!!
Happy Birthday Miss Julie! May your day be filled with hugs and giggles!
I'm not sure who said it a few pages back, but I always thought that winter was the season to pack on the food. Not for me. With all the fresh fruit and vegetables in season, I am finding all kinds of reasons to make my very favorite foods. Tomato Pie. Peach Cobbler. Blueberry Pie. Corn casserole. Etc, etc. I'm having a hard time saying no to sweets too. I do think it's because I'm not saving calories for wine. I think that I have more extra calories than I really have and before the night is done, I've over-done it!! Help!4 -
Hi Guys, I can finally lift my head off the pillow to write an update of my birthday celebration last night. Well, first of all, it was a lot of fun and I was surrounded by 8 of my fav friends in the world. I felt so treasured- these people are beautiful souls.
So, the other update. @WinoGelato I think I wore too many bracelets! And I never kept track of my drinks. Your idea is brilliant if only I followed it.
As usual, my pickled brain decided to kick into high gear. You know you drank too much when you look at your cameras roll and see several pictures of me hugging the bartender! LOL I have to laugh at myself so I dont cry again.
The bartender made me special birthday drinks; I estimate I had about 6 cocktails all night maybe even more. I really dont know which is scary.
The result of all that fun is missing a beautiful sunny summer day today; I've spent most of the day trying to sleep away the pain and nausea and disappointment. The positive note is that of course, I forgive myself and will never give up on me.
So, Day 1 again. I think I have to go back to January mode and set a rigid rule for myself like I did. I got up to 76 days AF and I remember feeling on top of the world! No need to send me sympathy - I continue to value that you are here for me. And I can be completely honest with you all.
Thanks for the birthday wishes! I know that when I go to my birthday dinner with family on Sunday, I will be happily sipping club soda with a few limes! Back to the drawing board as they say. Love to all! I was happy to read your messages- you give me hope!
Xo10 -
Julie, I am glad you had a fun birthday night out with the girls and the bartender. You are usually so disciplined, don't even worry about it. You will feel better tomorrow! XXOO - Jen3
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spygirl2014 wrote: »Small victory-- I had a horrible workday yesterday, and 3 weeks ago I would have been drinking last night either to console myself or celebrate that the work day was over (whichever excuse I felt like at the moment) instead, I went for a walk with my husband.
Moderation for me means a drink or two weekend nights and Holidays. I'm happy to be sticking to the plan, and now I can understand how people get in 6 am workouts! Happy to have found this thread, I wish I had months ago. Thanks all for the tips and insight.
I'll add belated Birthday wishes to JulieAL1969. I'm a '69er too!
Sorry you had a bad day but happy you coped with it without turning to alcohol. You may call it a small victory but I think it is a big deal.
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SpanishFusion wrote: »Hello!! I have finally caught up and have time to post in the same moment! I have been doing good. My new passion is yoga! I am loving it more every day. I wouldn't be able to do it if I was still drinking wine every night. I'm only on the weekends having 1-2 glasses, but I've been feeling lately like, "why?". I think NovusDies said that he was asking himself if he has a good reason to drink and how will it benefit him. I think I'm going to do that as well.
Donimfp, I don't think that I can live without AC. I was out of AC for 1 day at work and I had to take a 1/2 day off. I don't do being hot well. Well, I am HOT, but I don't do being hot! haha! I a little bit of Friday afternoon humor.
Norminv, You crack me up!!
Happy Birthday Miss Julie! May your day be filled with hugs and giggles!
I'm not sure who said it a few pages back, but I always thought that winter was the season to pack on the food. Not for me. With all the fresh fruit and vegetables in season, I am finding all kinds of reasons to make my very favorite foods. Tomato Pie. Peach Cobbler. Blueberry Pie. Corn casserole. Etc, etc. I'm having a hard time saying no to sweets too. I do think it's because I'm not saving calories for wine. I think that I have more extra calories than I really have and before the night is done, I've over-done it!! Help!
Ok. I will come over and help you eat some of that food you are preparing. Even though I am obviously very sweet to offer I don't typically like sweet food so I will concentrate on the tomato pie and the corn casserole.
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It’s true...really hard to get back to moderation after vacation, especially when it’s summer. Every night something’s happening and you get caught up. Restarting on Sunday, AF during the week, 2 Friday & Saturday.
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First two days down, no alcohol. Get through the rest of this weekend and I will be on my way to a nice whoosh in lbs lost.
It is amazing how much good sleep contributes to weight loss, and AF leads to better, longer sleep.
Feels great to be back at it.4 -
islandbeez wrote: »
Anyway, hello everyone :-) Nothing to report here, just staying AF and finding it much easier after 6 months of actively trying to get it out of my life. I am not counting days this time, or even missing it. Perhaps it's happened? I dunno and I certainly am not going to become complacent. I will always be a pickle ;-) Best wishes to you all, whatever your goals.
This is where I'd like to be in 6 months!! I am where I am in 6 weeks. YAY!! I've stopped counting other than occasionally looking at the Easy quit drinking app. I like keeping an eye on how much $$ I've saved & how many drinks I've passed.
Weekends are definitely harder, but not because I've exposed myself to any tempting situations. I'm listening to my gut & when I feel vulnerable I turn down invites if I know there'll be drinks & I'm wanting to pass on even being tempted...I know that at some point there will be occasions that I have no control over attending, but when I can control it I will!!
For the most part it is just the "vibe" of the weekend especially Friday driving home from work AND especially if I'm really tired from work. I have my youngest grandboy here as he had a sleepover last night. We ended up going back into town after dinner last night to go to the skate park for a bit & as I'm sitting there watching him do his FANTASTIC tricks
I realized how relaxed I was and the absence of the usual "biting at the bit" to get home & have the 1st of a few drinks....OR more likely, I would have made an excuse NOT to go back into town & promising "tomorrow" so I could have a few drinks instead of going to the skate park. It was liberating feeling in control & NOT controlled. Not that I have this licked, cause I will NEVER have this licked, but I do not feel controlled by the drive to drink!!
For me the keys in @islandbeez comment is "I will always be a pickle" and "I certainly am not going to become complacent" The realization of my problem & the commitment to continuing the work to remain AF.
Hoping everyone is well!! WELCOME to all the newbies!0 -
@islandbeez, I am so happy for your success. Yay! Gives me hope.
I've noticed that @norminv's 18 days go a LOT faster than my 18 days. Weird!
it could be because i am a dog4
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