The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Happy Halloween everyone! I'll be handing out candy to all the little ghouls tonight. Usually I'd definitely be indulging in the wine but not this year. Working hard on my health and fitness goals and they don't include alcohol. The rest of the candy is going to have to go to my husband's office with him tomorrow morning. I can't have that here tempting me. Have a fun evening, All!3
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Good morning friends! I took a well needed day off today. I'm really happy! I also weaned myself off of any meds I was on for my vertigo but anti-depressant as well. I want to start fresh and try to improve my health naturally. I've kept drinking to a minimum because when I thin I can have ONE drink, it turns into four. The brain switch never turns off. It's just so much easier not to start with a sip- just abstain. Wishing you a great day!
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@laurenq1991 drinking makes me horribly depressed too🤪 of course the first few seem to lift my mood but as the night rolls on forget it I just feel so down and down for days after too,yup good reason for us to avoid it,hope all are well💖
Me, too. I get anxious feelings the day or two after I drink. My nerves feel shaky as well. It's so not worth the few hours of mind numbing alcohol.3 -
Hi all! I’ve been “lurking” this thread since I decided to stop drinking and thought I would finally post something here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, struggles, and successes about alcohol on this thread; reading them has been such a good support for me. Today is day 103 alcohol-free for me. I am so proud of myself! It wasn’t easy to get to this point. Some books and some online resources (this thread is one of them) really helped me to stay the course. I also learned that talking about drinking has helped me to change my behaviour, which led me to posting here. Not keeping it secret anymore – secret that I drank too much, why I drank, why I stopped, tools that helped me, etc. Kinda “throwing it out to the universe”, if you will, to take ownership of my relationship with booze.
Again, thank you for sharing here. You’ve all helped me more than you could ever know 😊
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Good Morn to all
@stubbornloser Congrats on 103 AF days AND thank you for sharing. YOUR post has helped me (and likely others) more than you know. I was just commenting to someone recently that I was concerned this thread was dying a slow death due to the lack of commenting & at the same time expressing that the Sober Squad thread is definitely needed and your comment has proved that. It also confirms to me that although some don't comment regularly doesn't mean that they aren't "lurking" and getting the help and encouragement they need from those who do share either regularly or when the mood hits.
Please continue to share.6 -
For those struggling, please reach out when the urge hits...whether it is to a friend who supports your sobriety or this thread or watching a Craig Beck/Annie Grace video....or some other resource that has been mentioned here. Even PM someone here rather than post it publicly if that's easier. It just may help you to resist the urge...at least it will give you a pause between the urge and the act and may be enough of a lag to lose the urge.
I rarely feel the need to watch a video, but did daily for the first 6 months of my struggle, sometimes twice or more daily if needed. It was like I needed to reprogram my brain and when I look back, it is like my sobriety became my 2nd job. At times it was a lot of work, but 17 months later it feels like this is my new way of life. The last really strong urge was when my bro died 3.5 months ago. I am SO glad that I reached out on this thread then cause if I hadn't I may be still struggling today.
Hope everyone has a happy, AF day 8 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »For those struggling, please reach out when the urge hits...whether it is to a friend who supports your sobriety or this thread or watching a Craig Beck/Annie Grace video....or some other resource that has been mentioned here. Even PM someone here rather than post it publicly if that's easier. It just may help you to resist the urge...at least it will give you a pause between the urge and the act and may be enough of a lag to lose the urge.
I rarely feel the need to watch a video, but did daily for the first 6 months of my struggle, sometimes twice or more daily if needed. It was like I needed to reprogram my brain and when I look back, it is like my sobriety became my 2nd job. At times it was a lot of work, but 17 months later it feels like this is my new way of life. The last really strong urge was when my bro died 3.5 months ago. I am SO glad that I reached out on this thread then cause if I hadn't I may be still struggling today.
Hope everyone has a happy, AF day
Congrats on 17 months ! You are a fighter, a motivator, a friend and an inspiration!4 -
Hi, dont post very often but lurk a lot on MFP for advice etc.
Has been in the back of my mind for a while that I am drinking too much, came to a head last Wednesday when (on a school night) had 10 cans (and a takeaway Indians, which no way would I have had if it hadn't had been for the alcohol). This was the culmination of probably drinking at least 6 cans of lager 5 or 6 nights out of 7 for the last 3-4 months. Just too much too often and absolutely need to do something about it :-(
Bought a few books (Alan Carr and the Naked mind one) like where they are coming from and although I am only a few days AF I feel confident about the future.
Love this thread, will spend some time reading through all of it.
Hope posters keep posting their motivation, success or any hints / tips that you feel may help8 -
Thanks for sharing @iancity Best wishes and take one day at a time.
I'm listening to youtube "Jordan Peterson on alcohol" He says there's something edgy about drinking, and when you quit, you gotta to have something edgy to replace that.
He also says it's the only drug you take that when you have too much you may get violent.
We all know that when you quit, you have so much more time in an evening. So, plan ahead on some other substitutions to spend time on.
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Thought I would share some resources that I found helpful.
When I first decided to stop drinking, I found a short PDF of a book online called Tired of Thinking About Drinking, by Belle Robertson. Link to PDF: https://tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/Book TOTAD - March 2016/[PDF] Belle - Tired of Thinking About Drinking - May 17-16.pdf. I also subscribed to receive daily emails with stories, ideas, tools, and strategies about not drinking from the author. I find that I really relate to the content of most of these emails. They are typically a quick read. Link to site: https://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/
The next book I read was The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, by C. Gray. And most recently, This Naked Mind, by A. Grace.
I would love to know of any books or blogs etc. you found inspiring or helpful.
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Books I found most helpful: Alcohol Explained, by William Porter. Drinking; A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp. Lit, by Mary Karr.6
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Happy weekend everyone. 212 days of AF. Holidays are coming up and it will different but nice to be sober. (well, depending on who shows up haha)7
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I like Drinking a Love Story, too. Annie Grace's book ThisNaked Mind is good too.
I will check out your links @stubbornloser. Thanks for sharing!
I am also so tired about thinking about drinking; it's exhausting.4 -
I like the narrative books of Bex Weller (A Happier Hour) and Clare Pooley (The Sober Diaries). Both women have new books out or coming out. Weller's Up All Day is out now. Pooley's Authenticity Project comes out next year. I haven't read Weller's new one. She also has a blog--Sexy Sobriety--and helpful free emails.6
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I read 60 pages of the link above by @stubbornloser . Very good so far.4
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I like the narrative books of Bex Weller (A Happier Hour) and Clare Pooley (The Sober Diaries). Both women have new books out or coming out. Weller's Up All Day is out now. Pooley's Authenticity Project comes out next year. I haven't read Weller's new one. She also has a blog--Sexy Sobriety--and helpful free emails.
Nice too see you and your blue butterfly pic! xo 3 -
@RubyRed427 You are so kind...I consider you a friend also and appreciate your honesty & insight.
Yes, it is nice to see the blue butterfly pic @donimfp
@nighthawk584 "different but nice to be sober" sums up AF life perfectly.
Love all the comments and reading suggestions. I'm definitely checking some of these out.
Hoping for a happy, healthy AF day for all.4 -
@RubyRed427 and @lorrainequiche59, thanks for missing me! I've been a faithful reader but just haven't felt much like posting lately. I've struggled with whether I even want to be AF, especially given the tinnitus (which I'm now learning to live with, so the temptation to drink is much less). I'm in a transition time of my life, just trying to figure out a lot of things. So I don't feel I have a lot to contribute these days, but this group continues to inspire me every day. All I know is, I'm looking forward to an AF day today. That's about as far as it goes. 4
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Hi everyone. I am alcohol free for 35 days now and have been reading the posts in this forum for about 25 days. Although I am not typically one to share, I wanted to say thanks to those who do share, and who knows, maybe sharing will be good for me? So here goes.
I originally vowed to go alcohol free for the month of October (sober-tober) but now I plan to keep it going as long as I can (and hopefully indefinitely). I’d have to say that the second to third week were the hardest so far but I feel like now I’m past the mad cravings and moving forward. I’m also dieting – so double whammy – LOL.
I never drank when I was younger. I was always the “mother hen” and looked out for everyone when my brother had drinking parties at the house. When I turned 21 he took me out to the bar to celebrate and I got annihilated. Apparently I was downing tequila sunrises like they were water (not that I can remember though). Needless to say, I spent that night and the next day mostly in the bathroom and reaffirmed that I don’t like drinking.
Flash forward 30 years and who would guess I have to actively work to stop drinking alcohol. I became less social as I got older and then discovered that after a few drinks, I was a lot more fun than when I wasn’t drinking. And it progressed from there. As my better-half tells it, when it comes to drinking, I’m a “professional” (so is he by the way).
So there are a few challenges ahead. The on-going one is that my better half is still drinking so there will always be wine in the house. And the other is that this weekend we leave for Florida to visit his oldest daughter (who is quite the partier herself) and his brothers who we’ll be watching football with on Sunday. I’ve already declared myself the “designated driver” so I have a legitimate excuse to not drink while we’re away. How silly that I feel like I need to give folks an excuse as to why I’d rather have a seltzer than a glass of wine – but that’s how it is.
So, thanks everybody for this forum and for all of the encouraging stories !!8 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I read 60 pages of the link above by @stubbornloser . Very good so far.
Happy you like it!2 -
How silly that I feel like I need to give folks an excuse as to why I’d rather have a seltzer than a glass of wine – but that’s how it is.
So, thanks everybody for this forum and for all of the encouraging stories !!
I don't think it's silly at all. Whatever helps is completely acceptable. And hopefully in time people around you will be fully supportive. All the best with your trip!
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@donimfp Thank you for your honesty & courage to admit that you are not sure. It sounds to me like you are in a transition and that can be a difficult place to be. Please be assured that admitting your struggle is a contribution to this thread...a valuable one. We all struggle along the way & it is nice to know that we are not alone.
I remember a blurb from Letting Go and it said that "sometimes we have to fall apart to get put back together." AND it is OK!! Sometimes feelings are messy... Good to know that you are lurking too. 3 -
@msmelissb Happy 35 days AF!! Lots of challenges ahead for you, (and the ongoing challenge of having a spouse who is drinking especially if you were drinking partners) but you have a good plan to keep you focused & it sounds like you are determined and have thought things through as far as your obstacles. Great idea to volunteer your DD services. I've done the same thing. I think it helps you in a couple of ways. You have a commitment to be AF for that event and others will appreciate not stressing about a safe ride so likely no pressure from them to join in on the drinking.
I appreciate you sharing and hope you continue to. Have a great visit with your Fam and let us know how things go.3 -
Howdy to the new contributors! Your input keeps our thread fresh and interesting so please post your thoughts. Doni good to see you too. I was wondering how you were doing. I am loving the blog about tired of thinking about drinking. Oh my goodness it certainly resonates with much of what I've been feeling. Thanks for the recommendation, @stubbornloser.6
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@stubbornloser, thank you for sharing the link to Belle Robertson's book. She writes with a clear "voice" and is quite inspiring. She reminded me that I DO indeed want to be AF, and like Clare Pooley, she underscores the obvious fact that Day One's are the hardest, so why keep having them rather than hanging in there and getting to the "good part."
I'm quite sure I'm older than most of the post-ers here. Don't want to assume, but I'm 63. It's just now that my drinking is starting to have odd little health implications that didn't arise during my forties or even fifties. Also, I have a step-sister-in-law who is 70 (Man, that seems OLD, but it's only a few years away for me). She has always looked like a model and literally turned heads when she walked into a restaurant or other public place. I don't know her that well, but I've always noticed that she eats practically nothing (thus the size 2 figure) but definitely enjoys her vodka or bourbon or whatever her regular drink is when I see her--usually after not seeing her for a few years. Her husband, my step-brother, just sent out a plea saying she needs a kidney transplant and is only staying alive by having dialysis 3 times a week. I don't want to be judgmental and assume drinking played a part in this, but my brain can't help recalling what I've observed.
I guess I'm saying this to say that if you are still in your twenties, thirties, forties, or fifties, be thankful that you're attacking this now. Like our friend kelly (can't remember the rest of his handle) who stopped drinking at 61, I feel like I've been given a chance to save myself and look forward to being active well into the next few decades. But going AF at a younger age would have been far better. So maybe that can provide a little extra inspiration if you're struggling.
Y'all are going to be sorry I'm not just "lurking" any more. Sorry for the long post. Have a great day!7 -
I used to like Belle but she tries to sell too much stuff and I was getting annoyed by it2
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@whitpauly, that's funny. That's what happened to me with Annie Grace, who is awesome, but the incessant emails trying to sell me stuff turned me off. I guess if you decide to turn your sobriety into a "business," that is inevitable. I try to just take advantage of the free stuff, like the Sober School and Sexy Sobriety blogs.3
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Howdy to the new contributors! Your input keeps our thread fresh and interesting so please post your thoughts. Doni good to see you too. I was wondering how you were doing. I am loving the blog about tired of thinking about drinking. Oh my goodness it certainly resonates with much of what I've been feeling. Thanks for the recommendation, @stubbornloser.
Glad you're liking it!4 -
Yes!! That really hit home with me too!@stubbornloser, thank you for sharing the link to Belle Robertson's book. She writes with a clear "voice" and is quite inspiring. She reminded me that I DO indeed want to be AF, and like Clare Pooley, she underscores the obvious fact that Day One's are the hardest, so why keep having them rather than hanging in there and getting to the "good part."
I'm 46 and wish I had of clued in to how booze was slowly trying to take over 10 years ago. Better now than neverI guess I'm saying this to say that if you are still in your twenties, thirties, forties, or fifties, be thankful that you're attacking this now. Like our friend kelly (can't remember the rest of his handle) who stopped drinking at 61, I feel like I've been given a chance to save myself and look forward to being active well into the next few decades. But going AF at a younger age would have been far better. So maybe that can provide a little extra inspiration if you're struggling.
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I used to like Belle but she tries to sell too much stuff and I was getting annoyed by it
About a month after i started receiving the daily emails I started to feel annoyed with the sales stuff too. I too was going to unsubscribe. Then I realized that by doing so I was allowing myself to fall into the all-or-nothing thinking that seems to hinder so much of the positive change I want to make in my life. Then I reminded myself that I was getting a lot from the daily FREE emails. I decided just to ignore the sales stuff I wasn't interested in, because the benefits I was getting from the emails far outweighed the wee bit of sales stuff.
The paintings her husband does, which she sells, often catch my eye. I decided that to celebrate my first 100 days booze free I was going to buy one of the paintings as a reminder of how far I've come. Now, I'm just waiting for a colour scheme I like!5
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