The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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So bored tonight! On the weekends, I miss going out and the fun and friendship with my drinking pals. BUT I don't miss the 8 hour hangovers, shaky feelings, racing heartbeat, insomnia, nausea, etc. What I don't miss edges out what I do miss. It's just not worth it.
So, I searched for an article about sobriety and boredom and here's what I found.
https://www.hipsobriety.com/home/2015/11/1/what-i-do-for-sober-fun
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Good for you for fighting the boredom @RubyRed I get it,I was at my therapist appointment the other day and she asked about friends,I had to tell her that my friends dissapeared when I quit drinking, hubs' too but I'm better off without them I guess,it's hard to find new friends as an adult,when we were children we could just walk up to someone on the playground and start chatting but as adults wed look like weirdos doin that😆 hope all are well💗5
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Good for you for fighting the boredom @RubyRed I get it,I was at my therapist appointment the other day and she asked about friends,I had to tell her that my friends dissapeared when I quit drinking, hubs' too but I'm better off without them I guess,it's hard to find new friends as an adult,when we were children we could just walk up to someone on the playground and start chatting but as adults wed look like weirdos doin that😆 hope all are well💗
I find this to be so true as well! It is much more difficult to make new friends as adults. I'm thinking of taking some quilting & knitting classes, which might open some opportunities to make friends.
@RubyRed427 I liked the article you linked to. Personally, I am finding I have so much more time for creative pursuits and I actually complete projects rather than start them and let them languish incomplete for years. I just finished a remodeling of my sewing/crafting space...something I have wanted to do for years & years, but just never got around to it.
We ripped out old carpeting, had hard flooring + new baseboards installed, I cleaned & painted the room, and constructed a table from a 6'x2' butcher block top and 4 -33" tall turned wood legs. I gave away things I knew I would never use and projects I have no interest in completing, and re-organized everything that was left.
This is my space now....I spend time here every single day and I just love it! I have one additional wire basket organizer in the closet of this room (like the ones under the table) where I have my quilting fabric.
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Hope everyone has a Fab AF day💝6
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Hope everyone has a Fab AF day💝
It's sure quiet around here! What is everyone up to? Any strategies for the holidays that you find particularly useful?
This will be my 2nd holiday season AF. I thought it would be tough last year, but it really wasn't. I declined offers for glasses of wine, and that was pretty much it. Lots of pre-worrying for nothing!5 -
@kcn2bluesky I love your craft space. I need to do that. I am a scrapbooker and I need to set up a table in my new apartment. I also love painting but haven't found the right place to paint because it can be a disaster if I spill on my carpet. I guess I have to just cover the floors and get on it!5
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At my Thanksgiving dinner, it's a pretty dry event. My dad will drink red wine. Mom will have her ONE glass. And my sister and I will abstain. Mom buys tons of Perrier and LaCroix. The hard part this year is the first holidays after a divorce. I try not to think about it too hard because it can make me teary eyed.7
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Good for you for fighting the boredom @RubyRed I get it,I was at my therapist appointment the other day and she asked about friends,I had to tell her that my friends dissapeared when I quit drinking, hubs' too but I'm better off without them I guess,it's hard to find new friends as an adult,when we were children we could just walk up to someone on the playground and start chatting but as adults wed look like weirdos doin that😆 hope all are well💗
Funny how long the evenings are when you abstain. And now that the sun goes down before 5:30 p.m. it is a long evening. I started watching Games of Thrones, so I will have something to watch. But I really need to start crafting. Also, I've noticed the more tea I drink, the thirstier I am.
For you tea lovers, here is a great little tool to make your tea.https://www.adagio.com/teaware/ingenuiTEA_2_teapot.html
I just place my loose tea in the container, pour hot water, wait, and then you lift the tea maker and set it on your mug and it releases the brewed tea. Make sure you have a big enough mug underneath or it will overflow. Live and learn
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Hi All@kcn2bluesky & @RubyRed427 I envy crafters...I keep saying I want to paint or do some other form of art, but have yet to follow through. I went as far as to take down a phone # of a place I went by a couple of weeks ago, but have yet to call. Hmmmm??? OK, you guys are my motivation...I just put it in my calendar for tomorrow to call so I'll get a reminder at 10 a.m. to call the number to sign up for an art class. I'll keep y'all posted. 5
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »Hi All@kcn2bluesky & @RubyRed427 I envy crafters...I keep saying I want to paint or do some other form of art, but have yet to follow through. I went as far as to take down a phone # of a place I went by a couple of weeks ago, but have yet to call. Hmmmm??? OK, you guys are my motivation...I just put it in my calendar for tomorrow to call so I'll get a reminder at 10 a.m. to call the number to sign up for an art class. I'll keep y'all posted.
That's awesome, @lorrainequiche59 ! I think you'll enjoy having a creative outlet. I hope you'll let us know the outcome of your new adventure!RubyRed427 wrote: »@kcn2bluesky I love your craft space. I need to do that. I am a scrapbooker and I need to set up a table in my new apartment. I also love painting but haven't found the right place to paint because it can be a disaster if I spill on my carpet. I guess I have to just cover the floors and get on it!
Thanks! I wasn't exaggerating when I said it took me years to get around to redoing that room. There just never seemed to be time, and I never made it a priority. It has been so nice to work in an organized, fresh space. And there was definitely something liberating about giving away the supplies I would never use and the projects I would never complete. I find it so enjoyable to work on projects now because I can find everything I need. I wish I had done this years ago. I guess I mean going AF as well as remodeling my space.
I hope you are able to carve out a space for your creative pursuits!3 -
@kcn2bluesky I am a quilter, too! I have found most of good friends as an adult either through friends of my kids’ parents or through a local modern quilt guild! Have you looked into local quilt guilds? They are great and you will see the same people every month vs. just possibly once at a class.
See if there is one close by!
https://community.themodernquiltguild.com/guild_locator4 -
Aww,@RubyRed I felt sad when I read about this being your first holiday season after your divorce 😭 it can be tough but I'm sure you'll be fine,all you Crafters make me jealous! I started a poncho for my daughter who lives in Portland back in February and it's still only the size of a baby bib😲 it's crochet and I just lack the mojo to work on it grrr!4
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I've been knitting more now that it is colder. As your project grows it covers you up and keeps you warm! I'm working on a baby blanket now. I need to keep my hands busy now that I am not drinking a bottle of wine every night. I am hosting Thanksgiving next week which is actually good as I will be too busy to think about drinking. For me, the hard time will come after the guests leave. THAT is when I will want to drink to "reward" myself for all my hard work. I need to make sure I've got plenty of lovely tea on hand as a substitute.6
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Aww,@RubyRed I felt sad when I read about this being your first holiday season after your divorce 😭 it can be tough but I'm sure you'll be fine,all you Crafters make me jealous! I started a poncho for my daughter who lives in Portland back in February and it's still only the size of a baby bib😲 it's crochet and I just lack the mojo to work on it grrr!
Thanks @whitpauly You made me giggle- the size of a baby big. Wishing you a great day!
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Someone posted an article on FB about a "Sober Bar" in Texas. I have no idea how to share the link so if anyone wants to read the article, it's a Good News Network article. It's a bar for recovering addicts, but also those who are "sober curious" which they referred to as a national movement and stated that it awakens people to the health benefits of getting sober even if it is for a short period of time.
The owner of the bar is a licensed dependency counsellor who said that, "Exposing yourself intentionally to triggers can weaken those triggers and will allow you to eventually to go into establishments where there is drinking and partying and craziness and it won't affect you as strongly." I thought this was interesting, but personally have no desire to go where there is drinking, partying & craziness...that is way behind me and it isn't something that appeals to me anymore.
At the same time, the justification he makes that his bar will prepare alcoholics for an alcohol bar is confusing to me. It may not affect a person "as strongly," but the effect could be enough to derail someone. One of the main tools in staying sober is controlling your environment and surrounding yourself by those who are supportive or sober themselves.
What I took away from this article was that more & more people are realizing the health consequences of alcohol and the need for a social outlet for those who choose sobriety.5 -
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy AF Sunday 💝4
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Good morning all
. Saw this group and thought I would post. I am a 50's male who is just starting the process of getting alcohol out of my life. Hope everyone has a great Sunday! 5 -
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy AF Sunday 💝
Same to youGood morning all. Saw this group and thought I would post. I am a 50's male who is just starting the process of getting alcohol out of my life. Hope everyone has a great Sunday!
The perfect time to get alcohol out of your life!!! Good for you 2 -
Hello ALL I called the art class and got a price and now need to commit...there's a waiting list so this will enable me to procrastinate even longer...lol
First step taken!!
I've been committing to walking every day to lift my mood and get some endorphins happening. What I have realized is how out of shape I am, but in a few days how much easier it is to walk the route I've committed to. So, it will be interesting to see the benefits as I continue to PUSH myself every absolute day to do this. I am beginning with baby steps. Our local park has a beautiful mile path through the woods which goes over a couple of bridges with a beautiful river rushing beneath. This is not about exercise to lose weight or any of that...just getting off my bodacious butt-inski & moving my body other than at work. This is for enjoyment and communing with nature and de-stressing.
Happiness to all today
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A sad tale about the power alcohol can hold over us.
I am now AF 4205 days when I started I discussed this with my best friend and he told me he didn't need to give it up since he didn't have the problems with drinking that I did. Over the next 10 years his now Ex wife would call me asking me to talk to him about his drinking. Fast forward to current day he is finalizing his divorce and was staying with us for almost 2 weeks. The first few days he was here he brought wine home and after finishing the bottle he was screaming cursing about his ex wife and her attorney using every ugly descriptive word about female anatomy, in our kitchen my wife preparing dinner walked out and I told him no more drinking in the house. He left to have a drink or so on the avenue and returned 2 hours later with his hands bloody and blood running down his face from a fall coming back. My wife is an RN so we patched him up and put him to bed. A few days later the final papers were signed and when he called he asked me to bring home some wine to celebrate. I told him no way in no uncertain terms.
He came home rushed upstairs " having to use the bathroom" but really to hide a bottle of vodka in his room. He lied to me and disregarded my wishes in my house. We ordered take out and he sat there shoveling food into his mouth slurring his words and grabbing dumplings and eggrolls with his hands. He made it upstairs and fell asleep and as he was leaving with a smile the next morning he laughed and said " thanks for the hospitality and saying nothing further left to catch his plane home.
Two weeks later he called to ask if I had done him the favor he had asked and when I explained he was to drunk to give me an address or phone to contact the person he was furious and when I said " you know have a nice life he laughs and says I ALWAYs do and so ends 59 years of friendship.
Alcohol can not only destroy our health it can tear up relationships as well
Hoping we all have a happy and healthy holiday. I have learnt over the last 11 years that drinking doesn't enhance my having a good time it takes away from it10 -
@Ke22yB Very sad example of alcohol's grip over people. Sorry for your loss. I'm glad you took a stand, but also realize that could not have been easy for you. Hopefully, it will be a wake-up call for your friend at some point. There's always hope.5
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@Ke22yB sorry your friend is such a "kitten"! Sounds very arrogant and I know I was too in my heavy drinking days,I always felt like I was right and everyone else was an idiot,sad to say karma really does come around and your friend will eventually get a wake up call,can't live life like that forever and nothing happens, congrats on your many years of not drinking 👍 welcome @tim201200 this is a great group of people! Lorraine, excellent on the walking,I do daily just cuz too strenuous exercise triggers anxiety for me(dunno why) but walking has been my friend for years and it's awesome to have that time to think,waves to all and have a Fab AF day!2
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@Key22yB I am so sorry your friend cannot overcome his addiction. Alcohol truly is the devil. Maybe he will have an "aha" moment at some point. I hope so.
I am so grateful for all the people here that contribute their stories, good and bad. It really helps me remember why I am here in the first place. I've set some goals that I hope to be well into before January 1. I always find New Years Day sort of depressing....swearing to start an exercise program, swearing I'll stop drinking, swearing to lose weight and eat salad etc. I've started on those goals NOW so I hope to see real progress by then.6 -
Good Morn Wishing there were a need for these but it is rainy in my neck of the woods. Blah & Blah-er!!! I'm sitting in front of my "happy" light to get some serotonin flowing (?) BUT it is not a magic pill unfortunately. IT helps but it doesn't cure. So, I'm sitting here thinking about my thinking and decided to count my blessings to lift my mood and the first one I thought of is how thankful I am to be AF 18 months & sometimes counting.
The plan for today is to go for a walk after work even though it is raining cause I have committed to this plan to actively lift my mood. I find that once I push myself to go, I'm fine and at the end I'm even finer knowing that I went through with it...just the thought of that small accomplishment lifts my mood and helps me to feel a bit better about myself.
What works for you?
Happy AF day to all 2 -
Fabulous job on 18 months Lorraine 💗 my mood has been blah lately too,I always get that way during the holidays,I just reflect too much on the year,wonder what the next year will be like and so on,woke up to a terrible stomach and I think that's another reason I've been down it feels like a flu of some sort cuz I had body aches yesterday and just fatigue,grrrr,6:30 am in Vegas another 24 of no booze for me! Hope everyone has a great day and don't be a stranger!😍3
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For anyone needing a mood lift, may I suggest that you scurry on over to the nearest theater that is showing "Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood," the Tom Hanks film about Mr. Rogers. It is such an inspiring, beautiful story. One of those films where the audience spontaneously broke out in applause when it ended.
Well, guys, I'm headed back to juvie. Yep. They called me and said a new position has opened up. This one is administrative and not a teaching spot. The HUGE difference in the job I left in May is that it is a "go-to-work-and-then-leave-the-job-there-at-4-p.m." position. No nights or weekends of planning and fretting and stressing about how my lessons will work or go over with these kids. I love the colleagues, actually love the kids. So this feels very right, like a win-win. And I still get summers, spring break, Christmas break, Thanksgiving break (which is why I don't start until Monday). I think this will really help me stay AF, too, because I have to get up early and be ready to work. That simply doesn't mix with hangovers.
Everyone have a fabulous AF Thanksgiving. I'm marathon cooking today so that tomorrow will be relatively restful (I guess that's a pun since they're all descending).5 -
YAY on your new position @donimfp...SO happy for you!!!!
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Hi everyone! It's been quite a few months since I checked in with y'all. I've been doing really well with resisting the temptations to drink and as the year has gone by, it's become easier and easier. I rarely even think about it. Except tonight...holidays are rough! I'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving anyway since my diet is so strict. I'm feeling a lot of anxiety tonight about dealing with family and remembering how alcohol always helped me get thru these situations.
But I'm also very determined to make it thru this entire year without a drop of alcohol and I'm so close, I don't want to ruin it. Plus I have no room in my life for hangovers!
Wishing everyone a Happy AF Thanksgiving!5 -
Yay on the new job @donimfp sounds great for you! @VeggieGirlforLife try not to stress so much about your family,I get it tho,this is supposed to be a relaxing day but ends up being chaotic no matter how I try to keep it calm😒 I'm glad to hear the Mr.Rogers movie was good! I loved him and I love Tom Hanks💗 7:40 am in Vegas another 24 please 😎3
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I totally forgot to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!🦃3
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