The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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7:11 qm in Vegas another 24 💖 have a fabulous AF day all!4
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I recently saw on TV that the increase in deaths that are alcohol related since 1997 has doubled and that the highest incidence of death occurs in women. I think nearly every nite n in our city there is a car accident involving DWI's........scarry , a DWI costs the person about 17 , 000 dollars , and that doesn't include jail time or probation...not worth it...........and its devastating when some one is killed.........Ive lost 2 cousins to being killed in car accidents because the other driver was drunk..............it totally destroyed his pregnant wife and their 2 boys.............not worth it.............6
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Hi All 😊 Great to read all the comments & welcome to all the newbies. I can relate to the failure to moderate generating feelings of guilt. I am mostly an all or nothing kinda person, so I find AF the way to be for me!! Moderation does not work for me.
Perhaps that is why I have difficulty moderating food. We need food to live so it isn't like there is another option. If I could be FF like I am AF I'd be set. I've been working on the food thing consistently since Dec 30 & am beginning to feel less dragged out & sluggish. For me food is basically the same as alcohol as far as self medicating & numbing out. It's just a different substance.
Hoping everyone is continuing their work toward health & happiness 🌹4 -
@lloydrt SO sad about your family members deaths due to someone else's poor choices & the loved ones left to suffer at the hands of another's selfish act.
At one point shortly after I stopped drinking, I had shared that a former drinking buddy got her 2nd DUI & had her grandkids in the car with her. She had just got her license back 3 months before that. That was 17 months ago & she is still drinking & denying & lying about her problem while she has lost friends, family members, her health & yet she chooses to poison herself over what we all hold dear!
There all kinds of excuses...they have a disease, they are sick, they had a rough childhood BUT it is also a CHOICE. 😥 And sadly the people who die at their hands have no choices left.
❣5 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »Hi Friends, I'm still here reading your messages. I am stuck in bed with the flu so I don't have anything to add to the conversation. But still reading your posts.
I'm a sicko too. I'm on the mend & hoping you are too. 💗
@RubyRed427 @lorrainequiche59 Hope both of you are feeling better today!5 -
mscanadianbakin wrote: »New to the 'group'. I abstained from alcohol for three years until Nov of 2018.
I have once again given up booze as of Dec 27, 2019
@mscanadianbakin Welcome! It's great that you're here!6 -
6:04 am in Vegas another 24 💖8
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@MCinChicago Thank you. Yes feeling much better. On the mend.5
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So happy to see all the new faces! We are here to support each other and you as well! Like so many, many others, I too cannot moderate. It took me years to figure that out. I have no off switch. There had been days when, lets say, I had a glass of wine with lunch, I knew I would drink from then to my bedtime. People I have told this too are mostly incredulous. "What? Why? Just stop!" Well I could no more moderate drinking than I could smoking. Thank God THAT door was slammed shut years ago. I don't ever think about cigarettes anymore. Hopefully it will be like that with the wine eventually. I definitely take encouragement from those of you who have been AF for more than a year. Well done!7
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Hi everyone! I haven't checked in since the beginning of the holidays, but I do stop by and read this thread every so often. I've been AF since Jan 1, 2019 and feeling good about having an entire AF year behind me now.
I'm popping in today to give a book recommendation. I just finished reading a new book, Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker. There is some really good information in this book if you can get past language and politics if those things bother you. I personally have not had as wild of a life as Holly or used recreational drugs, but many of the things she mentioned just about drinking I could relate to. I also have read posts on this board which correlate to some of the things she talks about, so I thought some of you might like this book. She talks a lot about the marketing of alcohol and how we've all been programmed to believe it's part of life - a rite of passage. How Big Alcohol is like Big Tobacco. All very good points. She offers some reasons why AA doesn't work for everyone and discusses why other avenues are still good options for leaving alcohol behind. We're not all supposed to be lumped into a category of an alcoholic or a "normal drinker." There is a lot of gray area she covers.
There's a lot more to say about this book and I did skim the end of the book because I've been AF over a year now and didn't feel she was giving me any new info about how to live without alcohol. There's been some criticism for the way she sounds like an entitled white girl who can afford the luxury of therapy, massages, yoga, etc. I think you have to look at it as suggestions for filling up the time that alcohol used to rob from you and not focus on what she spends on her new rituals. It's pretty easy to find low cost ways to entertain and nurture yourself, so I feel like that's a non issue.
Anyway, if any of you read this book and would like to discuss, please let me know! Oh and don't let the title discourage you gentlemen, you can skip the feminism parts of the book and still glean some good information.
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I follow Holly on Instagram and also get a newsletter here and there I like her style👍 Jen if I ever had a drink at lunch I'd be eagerly anticipating the next one and wouldn't stop til I passed out, defo no off switch! 5:56 am in Vegas another 24 💖 hope everyone has a wonderful AF day!6
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The Daybreak app evolved from the Hello Sunday Morning forum in Australia. One of the downsides is that it isn't free, though many people have found it quite helpful. Those of us who were using the HelloSundayMorning.org free site created a community site for those looking to change their relationship with alcohol by joining other like-minded people at www.newdayforme.org. It is free, safe, no advertising and open to anyone looking to cut down, moderate or quit drinking altogether. It is worth checking out if you are interested.4
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Good morning! I am feeing better; it took a full week to get over the flu. I had awful aches and pains. I was thinking about my drinking and know that I am "allergic" to it. I once read some people don't have an enzyme to digest alcohol- that's me! I also know that even two glasses of wine will make me feel badly the next day- nauseous and heart racing. So little can affect me so negatively.
I have been writing down 5 things I am grateful for each day since Jan. 1st. It really does improve your outlook. Any morning I wake up feeling fresh, since I slept well due to no alcohol, is a great morning!
Last night, friends sent me a video of them at a bar singing and drinking. I was invited to go to the event. But declined because I knew my Saturday would be shot. Instead, I woke up 6:30 a.m. with a smile on my face. Wishing all a great day! I love reading your comments.
p.s. Besides being allergic to alcohol, I cannot stop once I start. It's a fact- no sense denying it.7 -
The Daybreak app evolved from the Hello Sunday Morning forum in Australia. One of the downsides is that it isn't free, though many people have found it quite helpful. Those of us who were using the HelloSundayMorning.org free site created a community site for those looking to change their relationship with alcohol by joining other like-minded people at www.newdayforme.org. It is free, safe, no advertising and open to anyone looking to cut down, moderate or quit drinking altogether. It is worth checking out if you are interested.
Thanks for the information! I will check It out!5 -
VeggieGirlforLife wrote: »Hi everyone! I haven't checked in since the beginning of the holidays, but I do stop by and read this thread every so often. I've been AF since Jan 1, 2019 and feeling good about having an entire AF year behind me now.
I'm popping in today to give a book recommendation. I just finished reading a new book, Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker.
I also read like someone stated that the rise in women binge drinkers and alcoholics has gone up.
Thanks for this book recommendation.
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MCinChicago wrote: »lorrainequiche59 wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »Hi Friends, I'm still here reading your messages. I am stuck in bed with the flu so I don't have anything to add to the conversation. But still reading your posts.
I'm a sicko too. I'm on the mend & hoping you are too. 💗
@RubyRed427 @lorrainequiche59 Hope both of you are feeling better today!
Thanks! I am better 7 -
I recently saw on TV that the increase in deaths that are alcohol related since 1997 has doubled and that the highest incidence of death occurs in women. I think nearly every nite n in our city there is a car accident involving DWI's........scarry , a DWI costs the person about 17 , 000 dollars , and that doesn't include jail time or probation...not worth it...........and its devastating when some one is killed.........Ive lost 2 cousins to being killed in car accidents because the other driver was drunk..............it totally destroyed his pregnant wife and their 2 boys.............not worth it.............
Such a tragedy. I know of a friend from high school whose brother is in jail for life due to drunk driving where someone was killed. I think about him once in awhile- what he wouldn't trade to take back and redo that night....6 -
Lately, I also have seen several lead articles in NYT and CNN and other sites where it concerns alcohol and the devastating effects. Not sure if it's because it's January (Dry) or maybe more awareness is spreading about the dangers.7
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6:39 am in Vegas another 24,Ruby glad you're feeling better finally,I heard this flu going around is no joke! Yep I bet that guy wishes he could go back to that night he drove drunk and not do it again, I've taken many, many chances and it was just straightup luck that nothing bad happened, stupid! Hope everyone has a wonderful AF day ❤️5
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Hi glad everyone is better from their sick. Was just going to add if anyone that was struggling noticed how much easier it got know that the holidays are over. It was a constant thought on my mind for a while there. Plus all the party/alcohol commercials are done.
Happy for that because I was considering rewarding myself for good behavior.
Enjoy your weekend.5 -
Hi Ruby Red . The student( drunk driver ) that killed my cousin is in jail as well....sad, he left a school party drunk and hit my cousin on his motorcycle head on at 2 30 am in the morning.....my cousin Scott was a stage manager for a theatre and was in charge of clean up and putting things away after the event is over...........He had 2 sons and one one on the way when he was killed....A hard working father that loved his wife and children........worked all the time to support his family, only to be killed so tragically
...I think the 17 year old driver was in the 11th grade. Not sure, but I think hes still sitting in prison.........sad. My poor aunt whose son Scott was killed by a drunk driver also had a second son who was t boned in his van by a drunk and killed him too.......she had to bury 2 sons about 8 years apart ..........and the toll its taken of her and the family is indescribable.....I am so thankful that I dont drink..........nothing can make me go back to what Ruby describes, about waking up with a racing heart and feeling horrible,.that is what happened to me when I drank 2 or more glasses of wine...........good luck to all, Ill keep you all in thought...6 -
Thank you for the book suggestion Ruby....just ordered and get it Monday!2
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6:24 am in Vegas another 24 💖 hope everyone has a great AF day!4
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@lloydrt Wow. That is so sad. Thank you for sharing. We need to be reminded that there is nothing at all glamorous about alcohol. So many lives deeply affected by that poison. Reading these posts continues to strengthen my resolve about remaining AF.6
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I have the gumroad app from tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com I listened to a good audio lesson on willpower. She speaks about distorted thinking that is always going on in your head. She says you can't think your way into being sober. So, you need things external to you to help you.
She says are you going to be alone in your head with that thinking?
Or are you going to get out of your head...to get you out of your circular thinking?
Her basic point is we need TOOLS to help us get out of the thinking about drinking.
Here are some tools: read books, calling a friend, listen to a podcast, talk to a counselor....write on this thread on MFP.
We need a strategy; We need accountability.
We need sober support.
I really enjoy her pod casts. Wishing all a great day! We have lots of snow which I love.
I am meeting my daughter for coffee soon with no hangover. 6 -
6:25 am in Vegas another 24 💖 hope everyone has a great AF day!3
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@RubyRed427 Definintely remaining sober is more than wishful thinking (I call it merry-go-round thinking when my brain goes in a loop with the same subject around & round we go), it involves meaningful action like some of the suggestions you have made. Another important aspect is controlling our environment especially in the first segment of our AFness (I know some here do not like the term sobriety, so AFness will be my new label lol)
Inititally, I treated my desire to stay AF like a research project and ended up with varying avenues of support from YouTube videos, articles on the truth about alchohol and addiciton etc and this space was one of my primary tools to stay poison free...for me it was the venting process and I may have had some verbal diarrhea at times being the wordy bird that I am, but this is my process and I have no apologies for spilling my beans. AND I am so appreciative when others feel safe enough on this space to do the same...it is our raw, honest, no BS approach here with kindness and acceptance and genuine concern that makes this thread a very valuable healing tool for us all.
There is strength in numbers!! There is lots of strength here.
Happy AF day to all and happy "working-towards-being AF" day to all 6 -
Hi Everyone! I have missed being here. I hope you will have me again. I have not been doing well. I fell into this habit again. I started up after a few disappointing things happened during my sister's visit. A 10 day visit was too long for one thing. I just can't have one glass. Day 2 here. Yes the guilt, the shame, the anger, the hiding of the cans and bottles, the depression......This is no way to live. The holidays and my birthday are very close together, too. I need to get this under control before then. I need to get further along in this counseling also. Drinking makes missing my son worse. There is just a lot more crying. Counseling is bringing up so many negatives, too. I decided to spread the sessions out a bit more. Thank you for listening.10
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Good morning all
I have been having 5 to 8 beers every night for the past 3 weeks now and really want to stop this BS. Think its because I ex wife and kids moved back into my place she needed help and its killing me a little.
Its great having my kids back in my house but seeing my ex is just not right so at night I don't want to go home so I go to a pub or stay late at work having a couple of drink. I have asked my ex to move you she is killing me slowly but she just tells me where should I go.
So if you have any advice on my stopping drinking that would be great.7 -
@salleewines. Big hug to you. You are always welcome here. I am so sorry you are struggling. We are here for you.
@michaelroode1980 Your situation sounds stressful and you are dealing with your stress they way we here have all been conditioned to; by drinking. I urge you to speak to friends or others that are helpful to you about this. Though it is hard, try to be as present as possible for your children. I don't know how old they are but if they are younger, take them out of the home to outings if you don't want to be there; a play area, the mall, a movie, anything that doesn't involve alcohol.
I read some old advice on here recommending "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace and I finally ordered it. It is seriously resonating with me. I urge those struggling to read it. It is a gentle, no blame, no shame, forgive yourself and move on, wonderful book.
Hugs to all - Jen
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