The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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RubyRed427 wrote: »
Thank you!! Im willing to keep going. I have to face the problem and problems everyday. Alcoholism is very strong but I'm aiming to be stronger. Thanks to the support..
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RubyRed427 wrote: »My list of 10 fabulous things about sobriety:
1) No hangovers, of course!
2) Regenerating your appearance and skin: Look at the celebrities who don't drink (J. Lo, Blake Lively)
3) Gain self-worth- I love myself so much, I dont want to suffer anymore with alcohol.
4) Greater appreciation for nature, spirituality, the simple things, art, a cup of tea.... I swear my vision has improved since quitting.
5) Not feeing embarrassed or shameful from the night before.
6) Being a good role model for my kids; showing them you dont need to drink to have fun.
7) Rediscovering old hobbies and having more time for exercise
8) Helping others (writing on this blog, motivating a friend, more time to volunteer)
9) Looking at LIFE head on: not hiding, suppressing feelings. Being more brave.
10) No possibility of a career ending DUI, organ damage, hurting others
Well, the list can go on and on. These are the things that popped into my mind.
Thanks for this, I've taken a copy to keep near me. I have experienced a few points already and has given me a few things to look forward to. (:3 -
CarvedTones wrote: »I think alcohol is some of the cause for the denial that goes with it. I live with someone that totally does not think it's a problem to them. Yet its created More problems. Irresponsibiity, violence carelessness.. the list goes on. They don't see what we see. To them its there remedy and there reward, only nothing is changing. I can say I've used to be there but glad I've become aware. I wish I could help THEM, I have tried and been unsuccessful.
The eldest is in their early 50s, I guess I have to wait till they come to themselves. I hope its soon bc there's a lot of damage happening plus the older we get the harder it is to change.
Denial can be like a warm blanket that protects us & keeps us warm until we are ready to face what we are not able to currently face, yet it can keep us stuck in unhealthy habits, relationships etc. BUT we cannot go around ripping other people's "blankets" off because we don't need ours anymore. No matter how much we want someone to have a particular insight, change a behavior etc, they will NOT do what they don't want to see as necessary. Denial can keep people doing what they WANT to do even if it isn't really in their or anyone else's best interests.
It sounds like you get that & realize that each person has to come to their own decision. It can be difficult watching others continue on a path we've been on knowing how much better things could be for them if they could only see what we see now. Your example may speak louder than anything you could ever say verbally. Stay strong!!2 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »CarvedTones wrote: »I think alcohol is some of the cause for the denial that goes with it. I live with someone that totally does not think it's a problem to them. Yet its created More problems. Irresponsibiity, violence carelessness.. the list goes on. They don't see what we see. To them its there remedy and there reward, only nothing is changing. I can say I've used to be there but glad I've become aware. I wish I could help THEM, I have tried and been unsuccessful.
The eldest is in their early 50s, I guess I have to wait till they come to themselves. I hope its soon bc there's a lot of damage happening plus the older we get the harder it is to change.
Denial can be like a warm blanket that protects us & keeps us warm until we are ready to face what we are not able to currently face, ....
Thanku1 -
@lorrainequiche59 Brilliant analogy. We can't rip off other people's blankets. That is an excellent way to put it.2
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »
Kind of ... the goal is also to be sober.
Your singin' my SONG girly-girl!! Self love begins with self care!! THIS is MY goal! SO easy to care for others & get lost in that, but self love enables you to care better for others if needed.
ANYWAY, I am SO happy to hear that you listened to your gut & didn't put yourself in a position that you were not feeling comfortable with. As far as that being a "selfish" decision you are taking care of yourself and that is a really good thing.
I am dog/house sitting for a client who is away for 2 weeks in the sunny south while I woke up to a lovely ground cover of snow...there home is on the water so it always looks way worse weather-wise than further inland. BUT the view is gorgeous!!
Every time I open their fridge there is an open box of wine staring at me & a large unopened bottle in the back. Just as I was typing this, I thought of putting it in the bar fridge. I don't feel tempted BUT why stare at it if I don't have to. Problem solved. I'm actually having a more difficult time staying on track food-wise here. Why is that? I think it's feeling a little unsettled being in someone else's home as opposed to being in my own comfy spot. A different routine here??? Any ideas what's with that???
Sounds like everyone has a handle on their individual challenges staying AF!! But we are doing it...YAY to us all!!
You’re probably a little bored being at her house. So, that is why you are snacking more. IF you were at home, you’d be doing your projects, cleaning, cooking more, etc. What did you end up doing with the wine bottles and box?
Perhaps, learn something new this week, watch some good youtube videos. There’s one by Father Tom and it’s an audio from an AA speech. He is so funny and relatable. Spend time journaling as well. Hope you are doing well:)2 -
Great link, Ruby!!!
I particularly love:
"11. You're free from drinking. Instead of focusing on the fact that you can never drink again, focus on the fact that you never HAVE TO drink again. Focusing on can't leads to a feeling of deprivation, which sets us up to want it - this has been proven in countless studies. If we replace "I can never" with "I don't have to ever!", and focus on the liberation from the groundhog day that was our drinking life, we instead promote a feeling of relief. If this sounds crazy and like you can't even, I urge you to try it anyway - your subconscious doesn't know the difference between the two thoughts, and after a while, this will be your reality. I have been forceful with myself in not romanticizing what is no longer, and focus intently on the amount of freedom I have gained. "
I feel so lighthearted when I walk straight past the bottle shop I used to stop at nearly every day!
Such a huge relief not having all the guilt of the cost, and the daily habit threatening my happiness.6 -
Back to Day One again.11
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@RubyRed427 I did put the wine in the bar fridge just so I don't have to stare at it although I'd likely quit seeing it after awhile...you know how that goes! I just don't need to be overconfident that it won't trigger something. As far as the eating, it is my last holdout...I've been addicted to cigarettes, pot, sex, alcohol & food....Food was my first frenemy & it is the last one to kick. If I could just not eat, I could get a handle on the food thing. I have such an unhealthy relationship with food...this is a biggie for me!! There is a book I've heard about, When Food is Love or something like that....I need to look into that end of things.
@JenT304 I copied that analogy from Melody Beattie's book on codependency. I'd love to take the credit, but most of my stuff I share here comes from something I read or watched...not a lot of original thoughts
@Orphia I agree that mindset is a set up for success & it doesn't sound crazy to think differently to convince ourselves of our new reality. Our brains work in wonderful ways. I truly think that is why I am able to be successfully AF now cause I am convinced of the benefits of not drinking & the harm of doing so. It's like Craig Beck says that we have to be convinced that alcohol has NO benefit, otherwise, we will be able to convince ourselves to drink again cause somewhere in the recesses of our mind, we are still clinging to wanting to drink & fooling ourselves that somehow it's going to help us.
Hoping everyone has a healthy, happy & sober week!! 3 -
Wishing everyone a happy AF week! 4
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Today at the grocery store where I used to waste my money on beer/wine, I saw displayed $10.00 bags of food for those in need at Thanksgiving. I bought one and thought to myself, "this gives me so much more pleasure than a mediocre bottle of wine I could buy for myself which would give me nothing but shame and a headache."
In this season of giving, I ask you all to remember those in need. It gives us so much more when we give back.13 -
I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.
@lorrainequiche59 Have you looked into the Whole30 diet. I am having success in it, because if you cheat , you go back to Day 1. Just like our drinking. I’m on Day 12 and lost weight and feel so much better.
I think for many of us, I have addictive personality. I’m sure of it. So, it would make sense that we are also easily addicted to other things like you mentioned. We are a work in progress. Now, that I have over 100 days AF, I am now conquering my food addiction (to anything salty and crunchy).
Wishing you a peaceful week, everyone!6 -
@JenT304 What a great idea! Put that bee/wine money to better use. Xo2
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@Orphia I can picture you contently walking past the wine. Bravo! It’s the little things that give us pleasure.
Can you imagine how much money you’ve saved? Wow!3 -
Hi everyone!!! Day 2 for me. AGAIN!!!!
But I remind myself at least I keep trying.
So I have been having a stressful time at work and I started to indulge again. For me the toughest time of the day is from 5-7pm. Once I get home and eat dinner, I am OK and the temptation not as strong.
So proud of you all for doing such amazing job.9 -
Hi everyone!!! Day 2 for me. AGAIN!!!!
But I remind myself at least I keep trying.
So I have been having a stressful time at work and I started to indulge again. For me the toughest time of the day is from 5-7pm. Once I get home and eat dinner, I am OK and the temptation not as strong.
So proud of you all for doing such amazing job.
Yay!! Welcome back!! I found it hard to face everyone again..
You are doing awesome too. The first step to say I'm going to do it is the hardest I reckon. Now I'm in.. I don't want to stop. I'm hoping I won't fail under the pressure of the triggers that's around.
Good on u!!!! and all the best on the journey!!
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RubyRed427 wrote: »I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.
@lorrainequiche59 Have you looked into the Whole30 diet. I am having success in it, because if you cheat , you go back to Day 1. Just like our drinking. I’m on Day 12 and lost weight and feel so much better.
I think for many of us, I have addictive personality. I’m sure of it. So, it would make sense that we are also easily addicted to other things like you mentioned. We are a work in progress. Now, that I have over 100 days AF, I am now conquering my food addiction (to anything salty and crunchy).
Wishing you a peaceful week, everyone!
This sounds a plan!! Totally. I can see myself not wanting to start again. I'm going to start thinking this way. Thanks 2 -
Today at the grocery store where I used to waste my money on beer/wine, I saw displayed $10.00 bags of food for those in need at Thanksgiving. I bought one and thought to myself, "this gives me so much more pleasure than a mediocre bottle of wine I could buy for myself which would give me nothing but shame and a headache."
In this season of giving, I ask you all to remember those in need. It gives us so much more when we give back.
Thumbs up!!2 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@Orphia I can picture you contently walking past the wine. Bravo! It’s the little things that give us pleasure.
Can you imagine how much money you’ve saved? Wow! Thanks!
I've set my Nomo app to calculate.
Not drinking since Feb 1, 2018, after formerly spending $40 a week, I've saved:
$1,633.20. 6 -
@Orphia that is enough money saved for a vacation! Great job!2
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Hi everyone!!! Day 2 for me. AGAIN!!!!
But I remind myself at least I keep trying.
So I have been having a stressful time at work and I started to indulge again. For me the toughest time of the day is from 5-7pm. Once I get home and eat dinner, I am OK and the temptation not as strong.
So proud of you all for doing such amazing job.
Glad to hear from you!! Keep going!! You will do this!! I am proud that you keep trying!! I used to have a snack right after work and keep candy in the car. I will probably do the candy again because of Christmas. I would get a piece of "good" candy out as I was passing the liquor store or sometimes be eating it as I was passing. Most times once I am home, I am ok.4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »@Orphia I can picture you contently walking past the wine. Bravo! It’s the little things that give us pleasure.
Can you imagine how much money you’ve saved? Wow! Thanks!
I've set my Nomo app to calculate.
Not drinking since Feb 1, 2018, after formerly spending $40 a week, I've saved:
$1,633.20.
Wow:: Congratulations!!
I haven't been keeping track. I do know that I have been able to get bigger projects done at the house easier and pay for them. $500 tree taken down, new pool cover and weights --about $200, about $600 painting. about $450 help pay for Dad's passing expenses, $30 for lawnmowing when I broke my ribs, $315 splitting of wood into logs is what I can think of off the top of my head.5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.
i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)
but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.
however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.4 -
This conversation speaks to me too. I have been successful in the past getting my weight in check but not in the long term. Red wine is my vice and it is part of my life, daily. I know I need to tone it down but, for some reason, have been unable to do so. My mother was an alcoholic. I worry.8
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wow, celebration day for me.............3000 days of logging in at MFP.......Kinda cool, now working on these last 20
also, CarvedTones...........you are right, when you get older, your body cant repair itself as easily as when you are young.....I had " elevated liver functions", not bad, just elevated..............so, I am now normal range for my liver functions, only after about 3 months of not drinking in 2018, actually 9 months now, I totally stoppd at Easter ..........all my lipids are normal, and the Dr said that is a huge contributor of good health, along with exercise and diet..........best wishes to everyone9 -
Want to thank everyone who welcomed me. Hit the gym this morning, which is hard to do when I drink the night before, and got such a high I was smiling ear to ear.... Way better buzz than alcohol15
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Hello, all! I met with a new eye doctor last week and part of the new client paperwork asked how many times a week I smoke or drink. I’ve never smoked, but it sure was nice to check that “never” box next to alcohol 😀 In related news, I had my first drinking-in-a-dream experience that night, haha 🙄
Hope everyone’s Tuesday is going well!8
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