The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

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Replies

  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    mbaker566 wrote: »
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.

    i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)

    but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.

    however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.

    One of my contributing factors was refusing to accept my type II bipolar diagnosis and take the meds. I was and am still responsible for my actions, but having the mood stabilizer reduce the frequency and severity of my ups and downs made it a lot easier to abstain. Especially the depression; I usually get happy puppy hypomania and that's not so bad (for me anyway; turns out other people don't like arrogance and inappropriate humor though), but I was a big down drinker. Drinking was my escape.

    This sound like parts of my story. The short time I was on meds I found I couldn't mix the two.
    I found if I had a social drink, and it didn't need to be much while I was on meds the alcohol effect would hit me hard all of a sudden. It was embarrassing. Many times I'd find myself asleep somewhere random :D:|
    Also my moods were worse so than the following thought was that u need more. The circle is viscous.
    I'm glad I don't have to take them now, nor do i have to have alcohol as a get away.. ( this I'm telling myself!!)
  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    This conversation speaks to me too. I have been successful in the past getting my weight in check but not in the long term. Red wine is my vice and it is part of my life, daily. I know I need to tone it down but, for some reason, have been unable to do so. My mother was an alcoholic. I worry.

    Hello, welcome !! :) there's lots of support here.
  • SunnyDays930
    SunnyDays930 Posts: 1,574 Member
    Welcome to the new faces. Welcome back, Norm! We are always here, a judgement free and supportive group. Whether you follow along silently or like to comment, all are welcome.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    islandbeez wrote: »
    NormInv wrote: »
    Want to thank everyone who welcomed me. Hit the gym this morning, which is hard to do when I drink the night before, and got such a high I was smiling ear to ear.... Way better buzz than alcohol

    That's a great way to start, Norm! Big hugs to you! <3<3

    Thanks love
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    JenT304 wrote: »
    Welcome to the new faces. Welcome back, Norm! We are always here, a judgement free and supportive group. Whether you follow along silently or like to comment, all are welcome.

    Thanks sweets!
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    STLBADGIRL wrote: »
    I've never had a drink...........but I just want to say I think this is a pretty cool thread !!

    makes you wanna drink, donnit?
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    This conversation speaks to me too. I have been successful in the past getting my weight in check but not in the long term. Red wine is my vice and it is part of my life, daily. I know I need to tone it down but, for some reason, have been unable to do so. My mother was an alcoholic. I worry.

    Hello, welcome !! :) there's lots of support here.

    I almost did not recognize you! Welcome back!
  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    mbaker566 wrote: »
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.

    i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)

    but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.

    however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.

    One of my contributing factors was refusing to accept my type II bipolar diagnosis and take the meds. I was and am still responsible for my actions, but having the mood stabilizer reduce the frequency and severity of my ups and downs made it a lot easier to abstain. Especially the depression; I usually get happy puppy hypomania and that's not so bad (for me anyway; turns out other people don't like arrogance and inappropriate humor though), but I was a big down drinker. Drinking was my escape.

    This sound like parts of my story. The short time I was on meds I found I couldn't mix the two.
    I found if I had a social drink, and it didn't need to be much while I was on meds the alcohol effect would hit me hard all of a sudden. It was embarrassing. Many times I'd find myself asleep somewhere random :D:|
    Also my moods were worse so than the following thought was that u need more. The circle is viscous.
    I'm glad I don't have to take them now, nor do i have to have alcohol as a get away.. ( this I'm telling myself!!)

    I wish I could get off meds. A big part of my troubles over the years is that I have convinced myself that I could stop taking them a few times. That never ends well. Bipolar disorder has a physical component. I wish they could figure out what makes the brain chemicals get so out of whack and just fix it instead of counteracting the effect of it, which is what the meds do. I would be doing fine for quite a while, start taking the meds sporadically, then not at all and everything is just fine until one day I wake up at the bottom of the abyss and everything about life sucks for absolutely no reason. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. Sad doesn't even begin to describe the kind of despair I would feel. That happened a lot more frequently than the fun up swings. People shake their head and say alcohol is a depressant and makes it worse but they don't get that there is no worse, but there is numb. I have to keep reminding myself of how bad it gets so I won't stop taking the meds again.

    Thanks for sharing. I work with children with that disorder. I now know what theyll have to endure :'(
    Sorry to hear that's what they go through
  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    NormInv wrote: »
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    This conversation speaks to me too. I have been successful in the past getting my weight in check but not in the long term. Red wine is my vice and it is part of my life, daily. I know I need to tone it down but, for some reason, have been unable to do so. My mother was an alcoholic. I worry.

    Hello, welcome !! :) there's lots of support here.

    I almost did not recognize you! Welcome back!

    Lol, thanku!!. I was hoping to go unnoticed. Be another person :D
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    edited November 2018
    ElC_76 wrote: »
    mbaker566 wrote: »
    RubyRed427 wrote: »
    I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.

    i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)

    but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.

    however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.

    One of my contributing factors was refusing to accept my type II bipolar diagnosis and take the meds. I was and am still responsible for my actions, but having the mood stabilizer reduce the frequency and severity of my ups and downs made it a lot easier to abstain. Especially the depression; I usually get happy puppy hypomania and that's not so bad (for me anyway; turns out other people don't like arrogance and inappropriate humor though), but I was a big down drinker. Drinking was my escape.

    This sound like parts of my story. The short time I was on meds I found I couldn't mix the two.
    I found if I had a social drink, and it didn't need to be much while I was on meds the alcohol effect would hit me hard all of a sudden. It was embarrassing. Many times I'd find myself asleep somewhere random :D:|
    Also my moods were worse so than the following thought was that u need more. The circle is viscous.
    I'm glad I don't have to take them now, nor do i have to have alcohol as a get away.. ( this I'm telling myself!!)

    I wish I could get off meds. A big part of my troubles over the years is that I have convinced myself that I could stop taking them a few times. That never ends well. Bipolar disorder has a physical component. I wish they could figure out what makes the brain chemicals get so out of whack and just fix it instead of counteracting the effect of it, which is what the meds do. I would be doing fine for quite a while, start taking the meds sporadically, then not at all and everything is just fine until one day I wake up at the bottom of the abyss and everything about life sucks for absolutely no reason. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. Sad doesn't even begin to describe the kind of despair I would feel. That happened a lot more frequently than the fun up swings. People shake their head and say alcohol is a depressant and makes it worse but they don't get that there is no worse, but there is numb. I have to keep reminding myself of how bad it gets so I won't stop taking the meds again.

    So sorry to hear this
  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.

    It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.

    This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.

    I can see just what your saying. Children learn from their parents their habits. If drink or smoking or anything else is a remedy for whatever situations, tne children are going to take it on. Because that is nature. With smoking though the chidren start as babies, passive smoking then as they grow older the are addicted.
  • CarvedTones
    CarvedTones Posts: 2,340 Member
    I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.

    It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.

    This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.

    Seems like a "which came first?" situation. I had a larger circle of friends and an easier time making new ones before I started having problems.
  • islandbeez
    islandbeez Posts: 162 Member
    joha5603 wrote: »
    Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.

    Well, first of all, great job making it through all of that! You've been a stressed out busy bee! The rest of your post made me chuckle, I want to lose weight many places, but I sure hope my bra size stays the same! :smiley: As far as your ex goes, hopefully it's nothing too serious so he can get back on his feet so you can exercise!

    Glad to hear you are hanging in there!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,378 Member
    joha5603 wrote: »
    Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.

    You’re not a jerk. You are loving and giving of yourself. Sounds like you are stretched thin. Is there someone else who can help your ex or someone who can help you at home until things settle down.
    So true about the beer making it harder. Can you imagine if you’d have been drinking and then going to the hospital and risk driving impaired, etc.
    Not sure why your boobs have shrunk!! Time to buy some cute new bras then!
    I’m proud of you!
  • RubyRed427
    RubyRed427 Posts: 4,378 Member
    I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.

    It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.

    This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.

    This is possible. Who knows, right?
    I bet the bonding factor probably does influence stability and coping skills. I had a fear always that my mom would get mad and blow up at me. Then, the silent treatment for days (she would give me). She did the best she could, so I dont blame her. But I’m sure that didnt help my tendency to be addicted to alcohol. It’s probably so complicated.
    I guess we can just control what we do today. To drink or not to drink.

    On the other hand like the other posts, some people are alcoholics who had healthy, normal family upbringing.

    For many of us, I think we have to dig into the “why we drink’ like someone said on this thread who quit several years ago.
  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    edited November 2018
    joha5603 wrote: »
    Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.

    Awesome job with your tough weekend. We are stronger than we think.
    Also, thanku for the laugh!!!.. :smiley: you have made my day.. with your shrinks :smiley: I'm sure you'll get better. :p


  • lorrainequiche59
    lorrainequiche59 Posts: 900 Member
    @EIC_76 Sorry about your boobs!! :'( They're actually over-rated anyway!!
  • ElC_76
    ElC_76 Posts: 3,054 Member
    edited November 2018
    @EIC_76 Sorry about your boobs!! :'( They're actually over-rated anyway!!
    OOOOOPS...@EIC_76 I'm not sorry about your boobs, :o I'm sorry about @Joha5603's BOOBS...OMG I need to learn how to read.... ;)

    ROTFLMAO !!!.... I say there's nothing wrong with mine.. :D:smiley: I'm happy ;);)
    Nah its all good, we all make boo- boo's... lol, it's good to have a laugh. Very healthy :)
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    welcome :)
  • joha5603
    joha5603 Posts: 102 Member
    Welcome @Drummer913 and so sorry about the boobs info --- TMI... but also good for the LOL's. Welcome, pal. I hope you find comfort and support and yes, maybe a laugh or two.