The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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CarvedTones wrote: »CarvedTones wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.
i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)
but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.
however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.
One of my contributing factors was refusing to accept my type II bipolar diagnosis and take the meds. I was and am still responsible for my actions, but having the mood stabilizer reduce the frequency and severity of my ups and downs made it a lot easier to abstain. Especially the depression; I usually get happy puppy hypomania and that's not so bad (for me anyway; turns out other people don't like arrogance and inappropriate humor though), but I was a big down drinker. Drinking was my escape.
This sound like parts of my story. The short time I was on meds I found I couldn't mix the two.
I found if I had a social drink, and it didn't need to be much while I was on meds the alcohol effect would hit me hard all of a sudden. It was embarrassing. Many times I'd find myself asleep somewhere random
Also my moods were worse so than the following thought was that u need more. The circle is viscous.
I'm glad I don't have to take them now, nor do i have to have alcohol as a get away.. ( this I'm telling myself!!)
I wish I could get off meds. A big part of my troubles over the years is that I have convinced myself that I could stop taking them a few times. That never ends well. Bipolar disorder has a physical component. I wish they could figure out what makes the brain chemicals get so out of whack and just fix it instead of counteracting the effect of it, which is what the meds do. I would be doing fine for quite a while, start taking the meds sporadically, then not at all and everything is just fine until one day I wake up at the bottom of the abyss and everything about life sucks for absolutely no reason. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. Sad doesn't even begin to describe the kind of despair I would feel. That happened a lot more frequently than the fun up swings. People shake their head and say alcohol is a depressant and makes it worse but they don't get that there is no worse, but there is numb. I have to keep reminding myself of how bad it gets so I won't stop taking the meds again.
Thanks for sharing. I work with children with that disorder. I now know what theyll have to endure
Sorry to hear that's what they go through2 -
karinlengger wrote: »This conversation speaks to me too. I have been successful in the past getting my weight in check but not in the long term. Red wine is my vice and it is part of my life, daily. I know I need to tone it down but, for some reason, have been unable to do so. My mother was an alcoholic. I worry.
Hello, welcome !!
there's lots of support here.
I almost did not recognize you! Welcome back!
Lol, thanku!!. I was hoping to go unnoticed. Be another person 2 -
CarvedTones wrote: »CarvedTones wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.
i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)
but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.
however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.
One of my contributing factors was refusing to accept my type II bipolar diagnosis and take the meds. I was and am still responsible for my actions, but having the mood stabilizer reduce the frequency and severity of my ups and downs made it a lot easier to abstain. Especially the depression; I usually get happy puppy hypomania and that's not so bad (for me anyway; turns out other people don't like arrogance and inappropriate humor though), but I was a big down drinker. Drinking was my escape.
This sound like parts of my story. The short time I was on meds I found I couldn't mix the two.
I found if I had a social drink, and it didn't need to be much while I was on meds the alcohol effect would hit me hard all of a sudden. It was embarrassing. Many times I'd find myself asleep somewhere random
Also my moods were worse so than the following thought was that u need more. The circle is viscous.
I'm glad I don't have to take them now, nor do i have to have alcohol as a get away.. ( this I'm telling myself!!)
I wish I could get off meds. A big part of my troubles over the years is that I have convinced myself that I could stop taking them a few times. That never ends well. Bipolar disorder has a physical component. I wish they could figure out what makes the brain chemicals get so out of whack and just fix it instead of counteracting the effect of it, which is what the meds do. I would be doing fine for quite a while, start taking the meds sporadically, then not at all and everything is just fine until one day I wake up at the bottom of the abyss and everything about life sucks for absolutely no reason. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. Sad doesn't even begin to describe the kind of despair I would feel. That happened a lot more frequently than the fun up swings. People shake their head and say alcohol is a depressant and makes it worse but they don't get that there is no worse, but there is numb. I have to keep reminding myself of how bad it gets so I won't stop taking the meds again.
So sorry to hear this2 -
I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.
It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.
This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.5 -
CarvedTones wrote: »CarvedTones wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »I was listening to an AA audio by Mickey Bush. Very very funny! He says that for those of us addicted to alcohol, we should also not do any “mind altering drugs”. I agree with him. The other night, my friend told me she got us some pot to smoke “so you can have fun Ruby.” It didnt sit right with me , and this Mickey B. Agrees. I am hell bent on keeping my mind clear.
i agree too. i just had this discussion with a friend who has many years of sobriety. (he did too)
but there is a group in the west that gets people "sober" by using X or mdma and pot. i've heard a lot of AF celebrities who use pot.
however, i do feel if you are diagnosed with something like Clinical Depression or BPD-take your meds. just stop self medicating.
One of my contributing factors was refusing to accept my type II bipolar diagnosis and take the meds. I was and am still responsible for my actions, but having the mood stabilizer reduce the frequency and severity of my ups and downs made it a lot easier to abstain. Especially the depression; I usually get happy puppy hypomania and that's not so bad (for me anyway; turns out other people don't like arrogance and inappropriate humor though), but I was a big down drinker. Drinking was my escape.
This sound like parts of my story. The short time I was on meds I found I couldn't mix the two.
I found if I had a social drink, and it didn't need to be much while I was on meds the alcohol effect would hit me hard all of a sudden. It was embarrassing. Many times I'd find myself asleep somewhere random
Also my moods were worse so than the following thought was that u need more. The circle is viscous.
I'm glad I don't have to take them now, nor do i have to have alcohol as a get away.. ( this I'm telling myself!!)
I wish I could get off meds. A big part of my troubles over the years is that I have convinced myself that I could stop taking them a few times. That never ends well. Bipolar disorder has a physical component. I wish they could figure out what makes the brain chemicals get so out of whack and just fix it instead of counteracting the effect of it, which is what the meds do. I would be doing fine for quite a while, start taking the meds sporadically, then not at all and everything is just fine until one day I wake up at the bottom of the abyss and everything about life sucks for absolutely no reason. It's hard to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. Sad doesn't even begin to describe the kind of despair I would feel. That happened a lot more frequently than the fun up swings. People shake their head and say alcohol is a depressant and makes it worse but they don't get that there is no worse, but there is numb. I have to keep reminding myself of how bad it gets so I won't stop taking the meds again.
So sorry to hear this
I mostly discuss it to remind myself about why I am better. It has been over a year since I have had major depression or more than slight hypomania because I take my meds. I still have some low key sulks and days where I can't shut up, stop grinning or sleep for no reason but they aren't that bad and sometimes there is stuff happening that would make almost anyone sad or upbeat. Mood stabilizers limit the frequency and severity of episodes, so I am much better. I just have to keep reminding myself I am better because I take the meds, not because I am cured.
I also need to remember that drinking is something I can control, even if I can't completely control some things that make me want to drink.6 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.
It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.
This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.
idk, my husband was great at making connections. everyone loved him. he loved most people while he was working recovery. not all alcoholics and addicts come from negative home situations. many come from happy loving homes per the open meetings i've gone to. and addiction and alcoholism still took everything from them.5 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.
It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.
This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.
I can see just what your saying. Children learn from their parents their habits. If drink or smoking or anything else is a remedy for whatever situations, tne children are going to take it on. Because that is nature. With smoking though the chidren start as babies, passive smoking then as they grow older the are addicted.1 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.
It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.
This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.
Seems like a "which came first?" situation. I had a larger circle of friends and an easier time making new ones before I started having problems.4 -
Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.7
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Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.
Well, first of all, great job making it through all of that! You've been a stressed out busy bee! The rest of your post made me chuckle, I want to lose weight many places, but I sure hope my bra size stays the same!
As far as your ex goes, hopefully it's nothing too serious so he can get back on his feet so you can exercise!
Glad to hear you are hanging in there!3 -
Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.
You’re not a jerk. You are loving and giving of yourself. Sounds like you are stretched thin. Is there someone else who can help your ex or someone who can help you at home until things settle down.
So true about the beer making it harder. Can you imagine if you’d have been drinking and then going to the hospital and risk driving impaired, etc.
Not sure why your boobs have shrunk!! Time to buy some cute new bras then!
I’m proud of you!1 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I watched Johann Hari do a spiel called, "Everything You Know About Addiction is Wrong." If you have 14 mins it's worth a watch because he adds an interesting component to the understanding about addiction. In short he says it is a lack of connection/bonding to others. If we have suffered some sort of trauma & are missing human connection we will learn to bond with something...aka alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc etc Not negating the physical component of addiction re: the reward center getting lit up, but WHY (?) do some of us become addicted & others do not.
It makes me wonder if that is part of the reason why such a high percentage of alcoholism is "inherited" because the inability to connect is passed on to children & then the drinking pattern that is modeled is also passed on to them. Parents cannot give to their kids what they don't have. Addiction has multiple layers & it's working through all the layers that is WORK and it takes time to do the work. Quitting is only the first phase. It's getting to the root of our drinking, or eating or.....whatever it is that distracts us from peeling back the layers & getting to the core.
This makes sense to me & wonder if it resonates with anyone else here.
This is possible. Who knows, right?
I bet the bonding factor probably does influence stability and coping skills. I had a fear always that my mom would get mad and blow up at me. Then, the silent treatment for days (she would give me). She did the best she could, so I dont blame her. But I’m sure that didnt help my tendency to be addicted to alcohol. It’s probably so complicated.
I guess we can just control what we do today. To drink or not to drink.
On the other hand like the other posts, some people are alcoholics who had healthy, normal family upbringing.
For many of us, I think we have to dig into the “why we drink’ like someone said on this thread who quit several years ago.
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Update: I made it through a rough weekend with my mom, made it through my ex landing in the ER and now hospital, making it through being stretched super thin and with very little support (juggling a 40 hr/wk job, hospital visits, getting kids where they need to be and fed, bathed, etc). The ONLY thought I've had about drinking during this very stressful time is: "Yes, I'd like a beer... but wow, this would be a million times harder if I was drinking." Also? While there has been very little action on the scale, MY BOOBS HAVE SHRUNK! Lol. What the heck?!!? I'm not exercising beyond my 15 minute Pop Sugar video (I only do it to protect my back, honestly), and I'm kind of mad that my ex's health is affecting my ability to exercise ... b/c I guess I'm a jerk like that.
Awesome job with your tough weekend. We are stronger than we think.
Also, thanku for the laugh!!!.. you have made my day.. with your shrinks I'm sure you'll get better. 
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@EIC_76 Sorry about your boobs!! They're actually over-rated anyway!! 4
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lorrainequiche59 wrote: »@EIC_76 Sorry about your boobs!! They're actually over-rated anyway!!lorrainequiche59 wrote: »
ROTFLMAO !!!.... I say there's nothing wrong with mine.. I'm happy 
Nah its all good, we all make boo- boo's... lol, it's good to have a laugh. Very healthy 3 -
Hello, my name is Paul. I am 50 years old and live in NJ not far from NYC. I have not really posted in any type of forum before on any particular topic so I am out of my comfort zone here. But it's time to face the music. This has been a struggle for me for the past couple of years as I have been gently beaten over the head by my physician that I need to make better choices regarding drinking or serious health consequences will ensue! There are plenty of other reasons to stop too but until now, unfortunately, the Big “A” was my best and worst friend. I was able to stop drinking 3 years ago for approximately 4 months. I felt great, but then I let my guard down. It was just a hockey game. Free (GREAT) seats! Free food! It was a nice gesture by my neighbor who didn’t know I stopped drinking at the time and I didn’t mention it. He comes back to our seats with 2 giant beers. At that time, I had been feeling great about myself! So…..what’s a couple beers gonna hurt? Right??.....WRONG!! I drank every day since then and then drank enough on some days to compensate for some of the 4 months I missed out on. I have been using MFP off and on for the past two years to track fitness and weight loss (or lack thereof!). I have been very consistent logging since this past January. Anyway, I stumbled upon this thread as I was looking for a new MFP challenge to track. What I found was a support group for my VERY REAL Ultimate challenge. My REALITY! Stop drinking Alcohol! So…I started reading this thread. And I kept reading it every day for the past few weeks to catch up. I watched a few youtube vids from Craig Beck (good stuff!) I read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. Then I read Alcohol Explained by William Porter. I am currently reading Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale. And I have read every page (all 45) of this thread. I feel like I know some of you a bit already just from reading it even though I am just introducing myself. Some of you have circumstances, experiences, thoughts and stories similar to mine. This is going to be quite a challenge. Long story short, I am grateful to have found this group and I look forward to reading yours and sharing my experiences along the way. I am AF for 17 days now.17
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welcome 2
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@Drummer913 Welcome, Paul. We are happy you have joined us "out loud" after following silently. We value and appreciate your thoughts and hope you feel supported here. Many of us can relate to being on the wagon for a long time only to fall off and have to start over. Some have referred to alcohol as the wolf waiting for us in the woods and have found it is easier to STAY out rather than to GET out. This is why this thread is not aimed toward moderation, but abstinence instead. There are other groups for people that can drink moderately. Most of us here admit that we cannot. This thread has had a LOT to do with my ability to remain sober. The support here is amazing. I hope you find the same.6
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Welcome @Drummer913 and so sorry about the boobs info --- TMI... but also good for the LOL's. Welcome, pal. I hope you find comfort and support and yes, maybe a laugh or two.3
I'm sorry about 
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