WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR JANUARY 2019

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  • KJLaMore
    KJLaMore Posts: 2,836 Member
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    Machka- Stay safe! Are you in the fire areas? I know air quality gets compromised as well. Is it still pretty clear where you are?
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,803 Member
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    So I got a text saying not to come into work until noon.. ya know I'm all dressed and ready to go and now I have to wait ..oh well will find something to do.
  • wizzywig
    wizzywig Posts: 1,246 Member
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    Thanks for your advice, sometimes when you are close to the situation you can't see the wood for the trees. Poor mum is not in the best of health herself so I know it is hard for her. Once the carers start I'm sure it will be a little easier, they have already said that they will be available for a few hours if mum needs to go into town or anything. As long as they have a few days notice they will be able to get someone to sit with dad. I'll try and make sure she gets out at least once a week.

    Also, because mum has been in pain more or less constantly for many years, she just gets on with things as best she can, and can't understand why my dad can't do the same.

    I'll keep helping her as much as I can and let her vent her frustration without making her feel guilty, I hope I didn't make her feel guilty this morning, think it was a particularly bad day for her.

    Thanks again. <3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,178 Member
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    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Machka- Stay safe! Are you in the fire areas? I know air quality gets compromised as well. Is it still pretty clear where you are?

    It's very smoky tonight. I'm lying in bed right now thinking about going to sleep but I've been coughing. I've taken two different allergy pills and if they don't take effect soon I'll try my inhaler.

    We're not in any immediate danger if the fires. I think the closest they've come so far is 40 or 50 km away. But high winds put towns about 25-30 km away at risk of ember attacks.

    Fortunately a cooling change seems to be coming in and the wind is dying off.


    M in Oz
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,777 Member
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    wizzywig wrote: »

    Also, because mum has been in pain more or less constantly for many years, she just gets on with things as best she can, and can't understand why my dad can't do the same.

    This would be the question all women have of all men ...

  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,710 Member
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    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Good morning all! Just a quick shout out to some of you!
    Pip- Love the eagle and pup pics! Is that Bullwinkle?
    Machka- thinking of you as you mourn the loss of your grandmother!
    Kim- Hugs to you! Here is hoping you will get another client for either the embroidery or gardening to take the place of the one(s) you lost.
    Sue- End of life decisions are so hard to talk about. Sending you hugs and prayers for peace and comfort!
    Viv- I agree with the others. I really think your mom needs to not feel guilty for feeling angry, hurt, exhausted. She also needs some time away (and to not feel guilty for needing it). Most towns have a caregiver support group that holds weekly or monthly meetings. It is a good place to vent, listen, give/get advice, and just get out and be around people who won't judge because they know what you are going through, as they are going through it or have gone through it themselves. Hugs to you both!

    Snow day for us and unfortunately it is 8* outside and too cold to have the kids out. (I weigh the "too cold" declaration on whether it takes me longer to get the kids ready than they would actually be outside.) Today we are going to paint with our feet. So I have tarp on the kitchen floor and will put the three primary colors on paper in three corners and tape paper down on the tarp and let them walk, crawl, paint across the room. I plan to strip them all down to diapers/underwear. WE will see how this goes. First time I have done this indoor; it is usually a summer/outdoor art project. I imagine I will be washing paint off walls and appliances as well. I can do this! lol Here is one of my favorite "battle cry" quotes. (I actually heard it first in Secretariat; but it is from the book of Job in the bible. Job 39: 21-25)

    21 It paws fiercely, rejoicing in its strength, and charges into the fray. 22 It laughs at fear, afraid of nothing; it does not shy away from the sword. 23 The quiver rattles against its side, along with the flashing spear and lance. 24 In frenzied excitement it eats up the ground; it cannot stand still when the trumpet sounds. 25 At the blast of the trumpet it snorts, ‘Aha!’ It catches the scent of battle from afar, the shout of commanders and the battle cry.

    Have a wonderful day everyone! Hugs and love to all! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)

    Yup, bullwinkle when she was a pup and the way she looks now. She will b 14 this year
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,423 Member
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    Kim - you might ask your remaining gardening customers if they'd let their neighbors know you now have room for another client if anyone is interested, or do some door knocking in the neighborhoods - handing out your card. In my neighborhood, we all end up sharing landscapers, handymen, etc. Referrals are a good way to get new clients it seems around here. <3 I think you'll be fine.

    Viv - Is there a way your dad could be moved downstairs? During my mom's final years, dad actually put a hospital bed in the living room (even though it was a one-story house and mom's bedroom was just down the hall) so she'd be included in daily activities and not shut out. I think it helped calm her even though she wasn't real mobile and could only walk a few steps. Just an idea.

    Kelly     - love that Bible verse. So applicable in things we deal with daily. March on! You are the bravest soul I know to get the kids and paints out in the house, lol.

    Allie - happy for you in Onederland! Go for it!

    Machka - you could create a blog (in your "spare" time, lol) teaching the caregivers what it's really like to deal with their set of instructions for your husband's care. Are you able to stay calm? I'm afraid I would have had some melt-downs with these folks... or my sarcasm in response to their suggestions would be dripping from the walls. B)>:) Glad you'll have access to your Gram's funeral.

    I much appreciate this group and you all sharing your insights in dealing with DH's or family members whose time on this earth might be limited. Sometimes I dip into gloom for a few minutes seeing my DH's health deteriorating over time, then snap out of it when I consider there are a lot of options. And it's all one day at a time.

    OK ladies, gotta get ready to zoom out for my early morning shopping. Influenza -A has started to hit our county and I want to beat the germy people to the store, lol. "Cough til you puke" seems to be one of the signs of this strain. :s

    Lanette
    SW WA State
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,810 Member
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    Rebecca - Your picture of your husband eating dessert before supper reminds me of my Grandfather. He had his dessert on a side plate on the table while he had his meal. He would have a couple bites of dessert then his meal and go back and forth. My Grandmother savoured every bite of her meal and would save her dessert for after. My Grandfather would be all done his by the time Grammie started eating hers so he would “help” her eat hers too. I’m sure this is one of the ways she stayed so slim.

    Machka- you just can’t seem to catch a break right now. Sorry about the fires, our whole August was ruined due to smoke, couldn’t enjoy the outside at all.

    Sue - it’s good that your husband’s cancer has at least stayed the same. My heart goes out to you.

    Kim - hugs to you, uncertainty in our finances causes a lot of stress. I am in the same boat right now and feel that I’m sinking fast.

    Viv - your post brought back so many memories of my Mom dealing with my Dad’s illness. My Mom was in complete denial, she would leave him alone a lot to the point my best friend started calling her to offer to go sit with Dad. (I live on the other side of the country). My Mom
    mixed up his meds, and just didn’t know how to handle it. My brother moved my Dad downstairs and picked up a hospital bed from Red Cross to help with the stair issue and got my Dad a walker. The day after I went home. My Dad took an awful fall and almost hit the wood stove. We took him by ambulance to the hospital and it was decided it was safer there for him than at home. My Mom avoided the hospital to some degree. Two nights before he passed she was talking about buying him a Christmas present. I said Mom, Dad Won’t be here for Christmas and she got awfully upset with me. She did buy him a card. He passed on Dec 9th. My mom just didn’t handle it well and my Brother and I made all the decisions necessary with Dad when he was able to help us. We found it easier to take over than to try to get Mom to understand and do what needed to be done. She needed to be loved and attended to too. I think it was a huge relief to her when we took over, I overheard her telling her friends she couldn’t do it without us. I’m so sorry this must be so hard on you.

    Allie - I am not sleeping well either, maybe yours is due to the upheavals at work. I know mine is financial strain. Woohoo For Onederland!!!!

    Kelly - indoor painting, the kids will love it! Think of the calories you’ll burn cleaning up!

    I saw a job posted yesterday that I would really like to have. It’s really the first one I think I would enjoy, the others I have applied for are merely a means to an end. I am going to carefully rework my resume and cover letter and ask all of my praying friends to say a prayer for me. This position is within walking distance of home so I wouldn’t need a second car, it’s at the rec centre, has benefits and is scheduling the rooms and activities. I have scheduled security guards for over 20 years I know I’m qualified without the formal education. I just have to figure out a way to make them see it.

    Today I am going into the city to help my daughter prepare for my Granddaughters birthday party tomorrow. Her actual birthday was the 3rd but my daughter likes to have her party a little later to make it special for her away from Christmas.

    Tracey in snowy Edmonton
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,803 Member
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    Tracey~ you got this!!!
    I had my lunch early but today I feel severely bloated dont know why, so having some slimming tea, hoping it take effect before I leave for work... this is the first time this has happened while eating this way..
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited January 2019
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    Karen in VA: Congratulations to your grandson and to you on his excellent benchmark tests! WTG!!! :bigsmile: :heart: :star:

    (((Heather))) What a frustrating day! I am sorry that things were such a pain. I hope you and DH are both feeling better soon. :flowerforyou: It is wonderful that you’re supporting your son in by avoiding alcohol for Burns night. DH bought Glenfiddich for the occasion. I have been alcohol free for a while, but I made an exception for Burns night & had one serving in his honor. DH’s mom was born in Scotland and brought many Scottish traditions into their family. Haggis is not among the traditions that have been followed. :noway:

    Allie: Congratulations on your smaller clothes size! Smaller clothes are proof of success. Keep up the great work! :flowerforyou:

    Pip: Love the Bald Eagles. Thank you for the photo. :heart:

    Sue in WA: Sending good thoughts & prayers for your DH and for you. It is wonderful news that he is holding his own now. :star:

    M in OZ: I am so sorry about the clueless “back to work coordinator.” It seems that she needs to go back to school and learn a few things about brain injuries. Would complaining to her supervisor help? Her timing and interpersonal awareness both need drastic improvements. The “meanwhile” looks like more stress for you. I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I hope your appointment with the neurosurgeon in February is a positive experience and does not cause a load of new stress. (((HUGS)))

    (((Kim)))

    Viv: I’m so sorry for your Dad’s illness and your mom’s struggle to cope. NYKaren & Machka have made some good suggestions for you. :heart: :broken_heart::heart:

    Allie in Onederland: YAY for you!!! WTG!!! :bigsmile:

    Tere in RVA: Great to see you again!!!! :bigsmile: It seems as though you’re revamping your eating practices and it is making a positive difference. It sounds as though you’re already starting to feel better. YAY!


    We’ve been making a lot of dietary changes, too. DH had to go to a wheat-free FODMAP diet starting several months ago. It is challenging, but so worthwhile. I can still eat wheat, and do so, but have shifted a lot of my foods to those he can easily digest. Yesterday he decided he wanted pork for his dinner as a treat. Fresh pork is now off his island for good, along with wheat. He can eat bacon in moderation. I’ve always had problems with milk but I’ve been lucky and the dairy industry has created lactose free milk products. Yellow cheese hasn’t been a problem for me, in moderation. It appears that whatever turns milk into cheese gets the job done well enough that I can enjoy cheese now and then. :star:

    Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,092 Member
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    Deep Freeze again today. We will have this for a week. Starting to feel well again. Just a bit tired. I did miss appointment because of this flu I didn't cancel it 24 hours a head because it wasn't till the day of the appointment I was sick. They were going to charge me. I explained the circumstances so I might be able to avoid a no show fee. It is worth a try. I did miss an appointment once and it was my fault because I forgot. I did not try and fight that no show fee. You can't always help it if you get sick.

    I do feel for those who are taking care of loved ones who are ill or have chronic conditions. Been there and in some ways still there. Right now loved ones with chronic conditions are doing well for them. I try to make sure I take care of me. I am also good with the word NO for taking on extra. I do know my limits. I also try to do something I enjoy daily.

    :heart: Margaret
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,777 Member
    edited January 2019
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    Tracey ... praying that you get the job that is just right for you!

    Allie ...congratulations on Onederland!

    Viv ... we saw similar things with my MIL and FIL in terms of denial. I think it's all very normal when dealing with catastrophic illnesses. A good idea there to move your Dad's bed downstairs if possible. It will ease your mother's burden I think. Prayers for all of you.

    We are getting socked with a "lake effect" snow storm. My husband reported that it was a white h*ll with blowing snow/visibility issues until a certain point in his travels where it wasn't even snowing at all! All the schools are closed in my immediate area. I didn't go in to work today (but will have to tomorrow). Trying to get some much needed cleaning done ... and as you see I'm on the computer ... sigh

    Beth near Buffalo
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
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    Sue & Viv...Hugs and Prayers for you both!
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,355 Member
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    Congratulations on One der land Allie! :drinker:

    Haggis in the oven. :D Got light nibbles for starters in the living room. Beautiful daffodils for the table. I love the first daffodils.

    DH went out for a very slow toddle this pm. Hooray! First time outside in 10 days.

    I have a couple of optional fillings at the dentist in two weeks, plus hygenist next week. He has also referred me to the hospital to check out the white patches on the inside of my cheeks. I've had them for ever and he doesn't think they are anything (I chew my cheeks) but it's a free check, so why not. The fillings are under the NHS, so cheaper than private. Hygenist is private price.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,710 Member
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  • okiewoman510
    okiewoman510 Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Tracey - Prayers said! Good luck.

    Katla - Cheddar cheese is normally lactose free. The process of making the cheese makes it lactose free. I can’t remember why, but they told us at Cabot that if cheddar has lactose, they are adding it back in for some reason.

    Viv - I’m so sorry. You’ve gotten good advise. I would second having your Mom get out on her own while the carers are there if possible. A change of scenery can do wonders for perspective.

    Lisa - Yeah!!!! Good luck!

    Okie in the TX Hill Country — who is headed off to clean the master closet floors. First, the bottom drawers have to come out so I can clean under them.

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