The New Singles Hangout...Come & Mingle
Replies
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eromligyppah wrote: »Cutemesoon wrote: »Good morning everyone! Did anyone do anything exciting this past weekend?
First date after my divorce. I would say that classifies as exciting.
Oooohhhh. That does sound exciting! How was it?0 -
Cutemesoon wrote: »eromligyppah wrote: »Cutemesoon wrote: »Good morning everyone! Did anyone do anything exciting this past weekend?
First date after my divorce. I would say that classifies as exciting.
Oooohhhh. That does sound exciting! How was it?
Very good, went out to a dinner show doing Buddy Holly. We had a real nice time.4 -
I've been divorced 8 years now and still no date. All the single women are involved with married men or young enough to be my daughter!
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I've also not had a date since my divorce. But it has only been 2 years. Everyone I know is either married or way younger than me0
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eromligyppah wrote: »Cutemesoon wrote: »eromligyppah wrote: »Cutemesoon wrote: »Good morning everyone! Did anyone do anything exciting this past weekend?
First date after my divorce. I would say that classifies as exciting.
Oooohhhh. That does sound exciting! How was it?
Very good, went out to a dinner show doing Buddy Holly. We had a real nice time.
Glad you enjoyed it!1 -
belladamjc wrote: »I've been divorced 8 years now and still no date. All the single women are involved with married men or young enough to be my daughter!Versicolour wrote: »I've also not had a date since my divorce. But it has only been 2 years. Everyone I know is either married or way younger than me
It's HARD out there! Hopefully you'll find someone soon!0 -
I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..8
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Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone.
^^ This 100%. When I date it’s to add value to my life. I’m quite content with being alone. Do I feel lonely? Sometimes, but I won’t get involved in a relationship just not to be alone.
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Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...9 -
I am newly single after a bazillion years of marriage. Yay dating.
The last time I dated tinder was what we used to start a fire. 9 -
I would also rather be single than in a relationship with the wrong person. This is also why I have been single for 12 years and probably forever.2
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belladamjc wrote: »I've been divorced 8 years now and still no date. All the single women are involved with married men or young enough to be my daughter!
Most single women in these parts are dating older/younger married men and the young and impressionable. Why it's just so much easier to NOT.2 -
Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
I love this!! I have a 6 month rule when it comes to my daughter, no one gets to meet her or even come over.
And I have been told I need to lower my standards and stop expecting so much from people. The moment I feel like something is off, I call them out and walk away..6 -
T1DCarnivoreRunner wrote: »I would also rather be single than in a relationship with the wrong person. This is also why I have been single for 12 years and probably forever.
Being with the wrong person is emotional suicide.
Good for you! T1DCR 👏👏👏9 -
Mama_runs_slow wrote: »Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
I love this!! I have a 6 month rule when it comes to my daughter, no one gets to meet her or even come over.
And I have been told I need to lower my standards and stop expecting so much from people. The moment I feel like something is off, I call them out and walk away..
Lowering expectations for whose benefit? The WALL stays up.
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777Gemma888 wrote: »T1DCarnivoreRunner wrote: »I would also rather be single than in a relationship with the wrong person. This is also why I have been single for 12 years and probably forever.
Being with the wrong person is emotional suicide.
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Mama_runs_slow wrote: »Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
I love this!! I have a 6 month rule when it comes to my daughter, no one gets to meet her or even come over.
And I have been told I need to lower my standards and stop expecting so much from people. The moment I feel like something is off, I call them out and walk away..
You are correct in keeping your standards high. When it comes to children there is no such thing as too high.4 -
Sentinel_UK wrote: »Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone.
When I date it’s to add value to my life. I’m quite content with being alone. Do I feel lonely? Sometimes, but I won’t get involved in a relationship just not to be alone.
I wish more people felt this way. It would save a lot of people from getting into relationships with time wasters.
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Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
If I understand dating and relationships correctly, the living together part is for those that don't have kids to worry about. I thought it was common for parents not to move in with someone, while they were dating. Is this not the case?Mama_runs_slow wrote: »Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
I love this!! I have a 6 month rule when it comes to my daughter, no one gets to meet her or even come over.
And I have been told I need to lower my standards and stop expecting so much from people. The moment I feel like something is off, I call them out and walk away..
I also thought this was normal as well. Though the idea of a single warning sign, and you walk seems a bit extreme. Doesn't everyone have a warning sign or two, that people see? I thought that was just a part of puzzle pieces working together to fit with each other?
Btw, if anyone's wondering where these questions are coming from, I've never been in a relationship. Well...outside a 6 month fling in high school. As a result, I don't have a lot of the knowledge that the rest of humanity seems to. Hence why I ask.3 -
Never never lower your standards. I did that because I hated being alone and it almost cost me my life. Took a solid year of constant therapy to get through everything I went through and dealt with.
For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am mostly happy being alone and completely independent.7 -
Never never lower your standards. I did that because I hated being alone and it almost cost me my life. Took a solid year of constant therapy to get through everything I went through and dealt with.
For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I am mostly happy being alone and completely independent.
What were your standards?1 -
Luckily I am super busy the next 3 months! I have assignments and exams to study for, my son's birthday party to plan, my birthday hike to organize (and go on a few trial hikes), friends' birthdays to attend, and I have to put in extra training for my black belt grading.
Maybe in November I can slow down and think about how lonely I am3 -
mattig89ch wrote: »Btw, if anyone's wondering where these questions are coming from, I've never been in a relationship. Well...outside a 6 month fling in high school. As a result, I don't have a lot of the knowledge that the rest of humanity seems to. Hence why I ask.
Why?1 -
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Let’s be real about something for a minute. What if you come back to live somewhere where you used to live and you want to get the message across to someone that you’re open to making new friends (since your past friends have gone elsewhere). What can you say to to someone which isn’t gonna make you look weird? How about this - “Hi, I’m living in _____ again, and I’m open to making new connections/new friends. I know that some people are busy and I understand if you’re not interested” then hand them over your details or your socials. Is that doable? I don’t want to frighten people or look sketchy
It doesn't have to be so direct. You could say, "Hey, I've just moved back here. What do folks do for fun these days?"
Find out where they go and what they do and if it sounds like something you'd enjoy, then go5 -
Good morning my friends lets have a great day!
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Good evening Singles
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mattig89ch wrote: »Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
If I understand dating and relationships correctly, the living together part is for those that don't have kids to worry about. I thought it was common for parents not to move in with someone, while they were dating. Is this not the case?Mama_runs_slow wrote: »Mama_runs_slow wrote: »I have been single for 2 years. I have had a few first dates but no one I wanted to have a second date with.. I want someone who is going to add value in my life and my daughters. I don't believe in dating for the sake of dating or not to be alone. I am pretty content being on my own and just spending time with my daughter..
Same.
I have been trying the online dating and I make that clear pretty early on.
I also refuse to live with someone before marriage. I make that clear, too. I know in this day and age, people are all about living together first..... but what if things don't work out? And he leaves? And later someone else moves in?
I refuse to have a revolving door of daddy figures for my daughter. I don't want her to feel rejected by anyone she sees as dad.
Her own dad already walked away.
I have a lot of dealbreakers and I was told I am too harsh. But this is my life and my daughter's life being impacted. And if I want to be picky as hell, I will be. I don't NEED to be with anyone...
I love this!! I have a 6 month rule when it comes to my daughter, no one gets to meet her or even come over.
And I have been told I need to lower my standards and stop expecting so much from people. The moment I feel like something is off, I call them out and walk away..
I also thought this was normal as well. Though the idea of a single warning sign, and you walk seems a bit extreme. Doesn't everyone have a warning sign or two, that people see? I thought that was just a part of puzzle pieces working together to fit with each other?
Btw, if anyone's wondering where these questions are coming from, I've never been in a relationship. Well...outside a 6 month fling in high school. As a result, I don't have a lot of the knowledge that the rest of humanity seems to. Hence why I ask.
So here is a bit of back ground of why I will walk away if I feel like something is off. I started seeing someone last year, we went out three times and he invited me over to his place for a movie. I had a bad feeling and felt uncomfortable. I brushed it off and chalked it up to nerves. So I went to hang out with him at his place, we kissed but before it went any further I would stop and he would get upset. I decided I better call it a night, I went to leave and he blocked the door. I am 5'5 and 170 lbs and he is 6'0 and 200 lbs, so needless to say that he wouldn't be easily moved. I asked him to move and he said he would if I went upstairs with him and I said no. He went to grab me and I kicked him in the nuts, I managed to get out the door. he texted me three days later to say that he wasn't interested in me anymore.
So when I have a feeling something is off, I trust my gut and walk away.10 -
Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it. I think I have mild autism, and I can be too direct sometimes. I can also be extremely forward.Versicolour wrote: »Let’s be real about something for a minute. What if you come back to live somewhere where you used to live and you want to get the message across to someone that you’re open to making new friends (since your past friends have gone elsewhere). What can you say to to someone which isn’t gonna make you look weird? How about this - “Hi, I’m living in _____ again, and I’m open to making new connections/new friends. I know that some people are busy and I understand if you’re not interested” then hand them over your details or your socials. Is that doable? I don’t want to frighten people or look sketchy
It doesn't have to be so direct. You could say, "Hey, I've just moved back here. What do folks do for fun these days?"
Find out where they go and what they do and if it sounds like something you'd enjoy, then go
OMGosh yes. i often get tsked because i often miss social cues and niceties.
i think @Versicolour had good advice2
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