WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2019

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  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,827 Member
    Good morning!

    Viv ... so sorry your Dad is struggling.

    Machka ... committing all of your life schedules/pertinent information to memory is ridiculous. For over 32 years I've had lists and notebooks full of information for my disabled son that have been more than just handy -- the've been necessary. I had documents with me when he had his oral surgery a couple of weeks ago and the surgical nurse was extremely glad I had them. She saidI "love when families have everything written down!" Your "professionals" there are behind the times.

    Barbara ... yes, I have kettle bells...picking them up is sometimes a different story! :p

    Lanette ... I still receive my Misfits produce boxes, but have really been debating whether I will continue. I loved the variety and surprise during the winter month doldrums, but now that spring is here may switch over to our local farmers markets. And, to be honest, the last couple of boxes had items that were not misfits ... they were past prime. Customer service was stellar and sent me new boxes, but it was a pain in the rear.

    Very tired this week and struggling with both my food choices and my exercise. Husband is going out of town for the weekend, so hoping I can get caught up on just me!

    Beth near Buffalo
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,258 Member
    Katla prayers for your friend.

    Machka Writing schedules and prompts are a way to reduce mistakes especially the meds. Some of the workman and service people I have worked with in the past couple of months could have used your system. It would have saved some errors. Irritating that they challenge you on something that is common sense. If they want him to work on memory skills why not play games like concentration. There are ways to help memory by acronyms and associations that make much more sense to me why not work on those skills. It also seems to me why not work on skills that help him focus.

    We have been working with the medical system with our son for the past ten years. There are great people that really get it and are a great help. Others who are just doing their job. Others who make it more difficult. As best we can we try to maximize the ones who get it.

    I learned as a school teacher that when I need to make sure others get a message I would try to send out some kind of reminder three ways and still know one or two would miss the memo. Communication even under the best of circumstance is not easy. I say whatever systems you work out between you and DH and reduces stress go for it.

    Viv prayers. So stressful on all of you. It sounds like he needs more care than is safe for his wife. Difficult decisions to make. When we went through this with DH mother none of the choices were great. DH resigned himself to making the decision that was was least lousy. With my mom it was the medical system that declared she needed 24 hour care that forced the move to the nursing home. She was 96 when she went to a nursing home.

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,611 Member
    edited May 2019
    bwcetc wrote: »
    Machka ... committing all of your life schedules/pertinent information to memory is ridiculous. For over 32 years I've had lists and notebooks full of information for my disabled son that have been more than just handy -- the've been necessary. I had documents with me when he had his oral surgery a couple of weeks ago and the surgical nurse was extremely glad I had them. She saidI "love when families have everything written down!" Your "professionals" there are behind the times.
    Beth near Buffalo
    margaretturk wrote: »
    Machka Writing schedules and prompts are a way to reduce mistakes especially the meds. Some of the workman and service people I have worked with in the past couple of months could have used your system. It would have saved some errors. Irritating that they challenge you on something that is common sense. If they want him to work on memory skills why not play games like concentration. There are ways to help memory by acronyms and associations that make much more sense to me why not work on those skills. It also seems to me why not work on skills that help him focus.

    We have been working with the medical system with our son for the past ten years. There are great people that really get it and are a great help. Others who are just doing their job. Others who make it more difficult. As best we can we try to maximize the ones who get it.

    I learned as a school teacher that when I need to make sure others get a message I would try to send out some kind of reminder three ways and still know one or two would miss the memo. Communication even under the best of circumstance is not easy. I say whatever systems you work out between you and DH and reduces stress go for it.

    My mother was a nurse, so I learned to keep track of details like medications, tests, and so on. She always did. And now I work in health information, so again, health data is my life. :)

    Various health professionals have thanked me for providing written information on medications and things like that for my husband ... and for me over recent years too.

    The RTW people keep going on about him "becoming more independent" and after assessing him and discovering how much he can do, the 2 things they've come up with are to get rid of these things ("prompts") and to start driving (we commented on that one earlier!!). In other words, I interpret it that he has surprised the socks off of them and they don't know what to say. He can do most of what he did before except that he gets fatigued very quickly, has trouble finding his words, struggles with certain aspects of memory, and sometimes needs things explained a few times.

    They're also very young (early to mid 20s) so maybe they just haven't had enough life experience to know the need for keeping track of stuff. When I was in my mid-20s, I was healthy, I wasn't on any medications, and a lot of things were more spontaneous. I went to work, went to the gym, then friends might ring up and we'd organise something for the evening. Thursday night it would be "what do you want to do for the weekend?" We didn't need a calendar! Now we plan ahead!! When they hit 50 (and actually, my husband is 63), they might suddenly realise that things are different. :grin:


    Incidentally, I'm on a 4-day weekend! I took a day off (Friday) to finish this project I am actually working on. Really, I am. :) And I took Monday off as a little celebration for finishing the semester. :)


    M in Oz
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,202 Member
    edited May 2019
    :)Viv, Sorry about all the problems your dad and mom are having. Here we have an emergency number to call that's part of the fire department and an aid vehicle with para medics will come to your house to help or assess the situation. I've called them twice when my husband had heart related issues and once they transported him to the hospital. My friend whose 93 year old husband died two years ago, said that the para medics are trained to handle all sorts of complex medical emergencies but judging from her experience with them, they are frequently called only to help an old man get back into bed. You are amazing with all the help you have give your parents.

    :)Machka, I have lists for everything and it's part of the reason that I can effectively deal with life. I agree that if I had to have a list to remind me to shower, brush my teeth, and dress, it would be a reason for concern. Just stand your ground. Have you gotten any real help from these RTW professionals?

    <3 Barbie in NW WA
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,611 Member
    barbiecat wrote: »
    :)Machka, I have lists for everything and it's part of the reason that I can effectively deal with life. I agree that if I had to have a list to remind me to shower, brush my teeth, and dress, it would be a reason for concern. Just stand your ground. Have you gotten any real help from these RTW professionals?

    <3 Barbie in NW WA

    In late April 2018 there was some concern that he would have to relearn how to do all the very basic things. They told me he'd likely have to be taught to use a spoon and everything. By early May 2018, they discovered that his procedural memory was largely intact. He did not have to be taught any of those things! :):)

    Of course the RTW people weren't around then and have shown no interest in anything that happened before they appeared on the scene at the beginning of November. So I found it really weird that they were asking those sorts of questions during his assessment ("Are you able to dress yourself?", "Do you remember to dress yourself?" etc. etc. etc. into a TMI level of detail). I finally blurted out, "He's been doing all that for a YEAR!"

    In answer to your question, the main girl keeps asking me how she can help ... I keep making suggestions ... and in 7 months of dealing with her we have received next to no help. She did put him in touch with the place he's working a few hours each week now, but he has organised how to get to and from the place (with a tiny bit of my help at first, but now it's all him), his hours of work, and some of what he does. The other day she told me he needs to start increasing the hours that he works and she'll see what she can set up ... and I told her that he has already arranged that.

    It's almost comedic!! I do laugh. :)

    M in Oz

  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,529 Member
    Did a body pump dvd. I did find that I needed to use lighter weights so that I could hold them better. Plan for tomorrow is to take water class.

    I apologize for no caps, etc, but today I have a hard time typing. Got the shot yesterday and can’t bend finger.

    Went to ceramics last night but I couldn’t paint. Have the green room today. Totally forgot that I have a hard time writing (most of the time I write with my left hand). Hopefully, we won’t get a lot of calls.

    Lisa – I thought you already did with facebook

    Please know that I read all but it’s just hard and time consuming to answer all that I should answer

    Prayers for all those that need them

    M I have lists, all medications, surgeries, etc are in a document on my computer. I write down what we’re having for dinner the next week, my exercise, I have our calendar. You are doing the right thing.

    Michele in nc
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,711 Member
    edited May 2019
    I don't write a lot down. A shopping list maybe. I have a small blackboard that I put things that I have run out of on. We both have diaries (real ones not digital )and we coordinate with each other to make sure we have everything . For example, I have all his cricket days in my diary. Occasionally one of us forgets to put something in that the other one is doing. Like my lunches with girlfriends. I am more organised than DH.
    If I have a lot of important things to do then I make a list on a bit of paper the day before. I make a list for packing for holidays of things I don't want to forget, like ear plugs, chargers etc. But mainly I don't make a lot of lists or schedules. I do lead a very quiet life! It would drive me nuts to have a daily check list! So many things I didn't accomplish. :o

    Went for my run. :D The cleaner came. I've asked if she can come next week because we have visitors staying that weekend. Normally she's only every two weeks.
    My cardigan arrived. I think it's going to be perfect. B)

    This afternoon I'm going to make scones for my son's little tea party on Sunday. He will be 40 on Monday. I'm doing scones, jam and clotted cream and my orange and almond cake. I boiled the orange this morning. Cake baking tomorrow. I will also cook a few chipolatas for the kids. They can have grated cheese with their scones. I'm freezing the scones until Sunday. The cake is best after it has matured for a couple of days. I've got some 4 0 candles, plus a 'fountain' gold candle. Should amuse the kids!
    The family are getting back from Majorca on Saturday. Don’t know if they will be refreshed, or exhausted.

    Much love, Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,711 Member
    Viv - I really feel for you with your parents. I got off relatively lightly with mine. An awful strain for you.

    I seem to have missed one or two posts that people are referring to . Best wishes to anyone struggling. <3

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,611 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    I don't write a lot down. A shopping list maybe. I have a small blackboard that I put things that I have run out of on. We both have diaries (real ones not digital )and we coordinate with each other to make sure we have everything . For example, I have all his cricket days in my diary. Occasionally one of us forgets to put something in that the other one is doing. Like my lunches with girlfriends. I am more organised than DH.
    If I have a lot of important things to do then I make a list on a bit of paper the day before. I make a list for packing for holidays of things I don't want to forget, like ear plugs, chargers etc. But mainly I don't make a lot of lists or schedules. I do lead a very quiet life! It would drive me nuts to have a daily check list! So many things I didn't accomplish. :o

    Much love, Heather UK xxxxxxx

    Since my husband's accident I've depended on my calendar to tell me what to do next!! If I didn't have it, I'd miss things.

    Mine is a digital calendar, probably similar to your diaries, set up to email me reminders, which is helpful. I print it weekly and post it on the fridge. Just before he goes to bed, we have a look at the calendar to see what we're doing the next day ... if we have to be up early for an appointment, if I'm going to be late home because of a late in the day lecture, if he's got to come into town in the middle of the day for something, if I've got an important work meeting or two, etc., etc. Every day is different!!

    I've also got one long ongoing list of things to take care of ... I've got no expectations of accomplishing a certain number of those things in a day but I do need to get to them eventually, and I do. I started keeping the things I had done in a different section of that long ongoing list and it's encouraging because each time I bog down, I look over the Done list and realise how much I've actually done. :)


    M in Oz

  • suebdew
    suebdew Posts: 1,298 Member
    Back from Colorado where it snowed 8 inches the day before graduation. We were so cold but thankfully brighter of us got sick. The flight out was horrible. 13 hours in airport before they camcell f the flight. Thank goodness my son lives in Dallas. He got us a flight out the next morning. Helix to be Exevutive Platinum.
    Big news. For my birthday in July I got this.
  • suebdew
    suebdew Posts: 1,298 Member
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  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,095 Member
    SueBDew - oh I love Shih-tzus have had 4 there little charmers
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,258 Member
    Sue soooo cute!
  • 1948Peachy
    1948Peachy Posts: 1,511 Member
    :)
  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    ✔️1. weighed in 59.1 better
    x 2. tracked today
    ✔️3.30 min exercise yest
    x 4. five minutes meditation
    ✔️ 5.Spend at least 2h on long term writing project yest
    ✔️ 6.produce at least 7-finished pages per day average long term yest
    X 7. Take care of at least one shorter (1 pagish) writing or administrative task/bill, (union work doesn't count) yest
    x 8. At least 15 min cleaning yest
    X 9. At least 15 min filing/paperwork yest
    X 10.average 1100 calories net yesterday

    • Overall Feeling : not bad
    • Tracking:only breakfast
    • Exercise : gym plus longish walk w friend
    • 1100 calories net average : over
    • Long term writing 2h : yes
    • produce at least 7-finished pages per day average long term writing project yest (from May 25 to June 10, minus Sundays) : in a way : 14 pages
    • Short term writing/admin :no
    • Bright Spots : nice tea and walk w friend, good nap,
    Grateful :
    1. mild sv
    2. pleasant moment
    3. relatively relaxing day
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    edited May 2019
    Hello ladies!
    I tried to write a post three different times yesterday and got interrupted each time! This was supposed to be our last week up at the farm… But, my husband has been asked to stay an extra week so that he can drive semi. Because of all the bad weather down south grain prices have increased drastically. Next week he will be hauling grain to the elevator. I have been busy helping my mother-in-law with all her spring cleaning needs.

    Kettlebell Workout

    Goblet squat-2X5X40, 1X5X45
    Russian kettle bell swing-8X7X40, 2X7X45

    I am doing well transitioning from the 40 pound kettle bell to the 45 pound kettle bell. 5 pounds makes a very big difference! It seems twice as heavy as the 40 pound!! My goal for this year is to be swinging my 50 pound kettle bell. I looked online at body fat images and my body fat content is between 18 and 20%. Love the kettle bell!!

    Have a great day everyone!

    <3

    Mary from Minnesota/Arizona
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,711 Member
    Rita - Just seen your post. Great job! :D

    Vicki - How cruel! I had to go back to see what people were talking about as I missed your post somehow, but I just can't believe some people. Ugh... (((HUGS)))

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxx
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Rita, you look fabulous! WTG!!!
  • cmsavells
    cmsavells Posts: 257 Member
    Machka - I couldn’t manage without my cell phone calendar. It has everybody’s schedule. I leave notes everywhere!!
  • okiewoman510
    okiewoman510 Posts: 1,316 Member
    Machka - Isn't that why calendar/reminder apps exist? That suggestion is only slightly less stupid than telling you he needs to drive to be more independent (when he can't for medical reasons). I used a paper day planner forever and had a very hard time giving up my paper and transitioning to an online calendar. I am happy I did, but it was painful.

    Okie in the TX Hill Country
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,027 Member
    ☘️

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