WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JULY 2019
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Taught at the YM this morning and got complimented by a couple of the ladies on my class. One said she felt much looser especially through the shoulders after the exercise. The other told me she thought she got a good workout but was not sore as she had been after other classes. Made me feel good.
Well son came and picked up his dogs tonight. They just returned from Europe, a first anniversary trip. We had the shihtzu for 2 weeks and the labradoodle this last week. Should be a quieter night tonight.
Lisa - Good luck on the grant.
Allie - Hang on. The right job is out there.
Everyone take care Sue in WA7 -
Hi Gals,
Allie – great decision on the employment scene… I was in a very stressful job at one point and went to my regular medical doctor, talked over the tummy troubles, the stress… he took my blood pressure and immediately took me off work for 4 weeks, as a medical necessity – now I was working for a bigger company and full time, but I ended up on state disability and had a month to find another job…
Welcome to everyone new, no need to respond to everyone, or sometimes even respond to anyone! In time you’ll get to know the regulars and you’ll be a regular welcoming the newbies.
I found the stories of how hard it is to live alone, even for a few days interesting, as most of my adult life I have lived alone (well with a dog), and while I love company – by 4 days of company I am ready to chuck them out the door. Granted some company is better than others. I think my 2 pet peeves are company that follow me around – when I say I need to get something I’ll be right back – do not come along…maybe I just need to breathe deep and find my smile. The other are those with no opinion, Would you like juice or fruit with your breakfast, I have both? “oh whatever or neither I don’t want to put you out” PLEASE !!! LOL can you tell what the last 2 weeks of company have been like? Tonight is dinner company and then a break. I’m ready. To flip this I would really like some help with things, 2 of us doing yard work or cleaning the house would make a huge difference. Someone right here to share with, or plop on the couch for a show… or at the end of the long work day someone to help make dinner or agree to go out would be nice. So I guess my take is that it is always sunny on the other side of the fence. And in the end most of us figure out how to cope with the bull poop that life hands us.
Kim from N. California
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It’s been a busy two days. My mom has speech therapy Monday and a doctor’s appointment Tuesday. She is recovering well from her fall last week, but they just can’t seem to get her blood pressure regulated. Hannah has dance Tuesday night while I searched the world for Dulcolax liquid for my “mother-in-law”. Finally got to the gym and it was a relief to get some down time.
Several of you have talked about cleaning around your spouse/partner. As single/never married, it is definitely easier to keep up even with a teenager at home. Hannah is great at helping out. I do have male companions/father figures for Hannah. There are times that the second income would be fantastic, but I’m very happy on my own.
Lisa in AR - I hope the grant goes well. I wrote several grants when I was at Ohio State. Our program director and division chair do most of the grant writing at the community college where I teach. Good luck!!
Michelle - I love Sally and Grumpy. They are adorable. My daughter is going to take ceramics in school this year.
Welcome to all the newcomers. This is a fantastic group. For those newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, send me a friend request and I’ll share my experiences.
Connie in KY4 -
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Karen: I’m so happy that your refrigerator is better! Yay!
Juliestar: Welcome to a great group! :bigsmile:
DH had a physical therapy session today that has left him hurting and in bed. Poor guy! This is a good physical therapist but today’s session was more than Dh was ready to handle. I hope he’ll rest well toninght and feel better in the morning.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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Morning, afternoon and evening, all,
Katla, hope the DH wakes up feeling better.
Connie, thanks for the good wishes on the grant. I do love what I do - this one is... daunting, but do-able.
Kim, funny you'd talk about that. I was just discussing with my best friend whether we convince ourselves things are great because we must, or because they're actually great. I was actually talking about living in Arkansas. I'm falling in love with this place we live... and don't know if it's because my brain has decided that we really are going to live here until we croak over, or because it's actually that great. But then I see the fireflies congregating at night, and the hummingbirds visiting the feeder at dawn and dusk, and the incredible green of the grass and trees after all those years in the desert... and I think it really is that great. Maybe it's just the whole "bloom where you're planted" thing. Same goes for alone vs. having someone around. I work most days alone, but am seldom, if ever, lonely. It happens, but not often. I love both the working alone and the times I'm in contact, and love it with my husband here and when he's not. It's possible that I am just an unrepentant, incurable happy person with a snarky streak. I may never know.
To all the new ones, welcome! Keep coming back, there is much support and advice here, don't feel you have to respond to everyone, just where and when you choose.
All-staff meeting (two hours long) in town today, so actually have to like, put on real clothes and trundle into town. Ah well, there's worse things.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR5 -
Morning ladies~am up and had my tea , going to drop Alfie at the groomers and then go get Tal and stop and walk the dogs and feed my DFIL , then off for cut and color for me and a trim for Tal.. then we have the afternoon.. will try and maybe come back here for a bit so I can work on resume.. maybe some of the paperwork for companions and homemakers.. only thing with that there is a no compete clause and I don't know if I want to do that.. even here in Connecticut which is one of the most expensive states behind Ca. and Hawaii you only get paid 10-11 bucks an hr.. need to make a bit more than that to survive.. private pay is the way to go.. so will keep hunting..4
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Fancy-I love your shepherd ❤️!
Debby In Va3 -
Barbie - with me it's the opposite. DH is the one with the 'work ethic', I am the ace procrastinator. Without him I just sink into a slough of despond and can't get anything done.
Like Carol said, we spend a lot of time in different rooms, but I know he is there.
Kim - I find 'company' exhausting.
The thing about a good life partner is that they don't take up your personal space, except in a good way. I can't remember who it was, but it was some recently widowed woman who had had a good marriage, who said, "I have plenty of people to do something with, but I don't have anyone to do nothing with."
Luckily, we have a big house! Today my cleaner came and cleaned most of it.
DH locked himself in his study! I will pick up the few bits she couldn't manage to get to, like the exercise room. She only comes for two hours once every two weeks. Bargain! The house stays remarkably clean here - it must be the sea air, and we are both tidy. Our last house was dusty in a couple of days. She is very good for our marriage as there is no anxiety about who is doing what housework! I refuse to do more than half. Other than that we have our own areas of responsibility and it works well and fairly.
Rori - I was very conscious all the time I was moaning that I have it so good most of the time. Now he is back I can't imagine what I was thinking of. I feel fine. But I know it is more deep seated than just missing my partner. It must go very deep. I have, all my life, been prone to severe depression and it was only meeting DH that has got rid of that. I associate being alone with depression and the hopeless, helpless feelings come flooding back. I am fragile. I admire people who can live alone and I absolutely understand your feelings about wanting some time to yourself and free of responsibility. You deserve it. Would your husband go into respite care for a few days? Does he go to day care at all?
The good news is that I feel fine. The bad news is that the 4 lbs has gone back on (I had lost 2 lbs of it) , so I am currently 4 lbs over target. Grrrrrrrrrr! Why? I have been eating too much, although I have been keeping my calories under maintenance, or so I thought. Obviously I was kidding myself.
Serious work now. I have my school year reunion in two weeks.
Much love, Heather UK xxxxxxx
5 -
In a book I just finished reading, the main character is recently divorced and asks an older friend, "What's it like to be single?" The friend replies, "You get a lot more work done."
That was definitely the way when my ex husband and I separated. I stayed in the apartment and it went from a disaster area to something that could almost appear in a home magazine. Plus I worked full time, took night classes for 4 years in software development, got into the ultra-long distance cycling I do, and travelled more than I had done in years!!
My ex husband totalled our car just before we separated so ...
No husband + no motor vehicle = a lot more money, time, and enthusiasm!!
My current husband is a lot better, even with the severe brain injury, but he is 12 years older than me, and I suspect he'll likely go before me ... odd are. If that happens I doubt I'll marry again. I envision me in a little house surrounded by bicycles and cats and computers.
Machka in Oz5 -
There have been a few comments about Japan, which reminded me of my husband's and my 10 days on Hokkaido ...
We camped here for a few days ... got eaten alive by some sort of insect!!!
I speak about 2 words in Japanese, so we went to a large pharmacy to find something to soothe the millions of bites all over our legs. Thank goodness for the Japanese love of pictures! This box seemed to describe our situation the best.
And then I came down with a cold and ended up in a hotel sleeping for a day or two. We had been intending to cycle a lot more, but ended up staying around one area.
Even so I would love to go back!
One thing that seemed a little bit odd to us was the fact that Moon River was played very loudly over large speakers at sunset. But it seemed to fit what we were doing ... travelling around the world ...
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, waiting round the bend
My Huckleberry Friend, Moon River, and me
Anyway, starting on this page, there are 3 pages of the Japanese portion of our trip back in 2012.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/albums/72157630063348587/page3
Machka in Oz5 -
Good morning!
Good news ... skin biopsy came back and my facial rash is not Lupus. Yay! They've given it that all-encompassing vague diagnosis "chronic skin condition."
Bad news ... the scale is creeping up!! No. No. No. That will stop today.
Have a good day!
Beth near Buffalo9 -
@JRsLateInLifeMom I tried the restaurant location feature, but it doesn’t seem to work where I am.1
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Happy Wednesday Ladies!!
Beth - interesting timing here, you posting those photos of gals peeling off their "fat suits". For the past week I've been watching "My 600 Pound Life". I've never been anywhere near that heavy, but I am fascinated with family interaction - the enabling, the start of the binging - most often from childhood rape or sexual abuse. The mothers who did nothing about it. Or a parent who nagged and berated a chubby child who then turned to food for comfort and love.
Now I'm starting to wonder why I sometimes binge on sweets - I never thought of seeing a therapist about it, but perhaps it's high time to confront the triggers. On the show, the therapist was able to help them connect the dots. I know immediately if I've overdone it on sugar - foot pain, the feeling of coming down with the flu.
Why can't I binge on cauliflower - which I love? Hmmm....maybe I need to utilize the "flip it" below.
Beth - great news on the skin biopsy results, whew!!
KJ/Lisa/KarenNY/everyone - thank you for mentioning the "Flip It" again. I GET to do ____ vs. I HAVE to do _____. I'm putting this on my fridge, it's so pertinent to just about every aspect of my life.
Heather - I totally understand your feelings about DH being gone and when he's home, being in another room, but the comfort of knowing he's close by. And the loneliness when he's not. I know statistically I'll outlive my DH since he's 6 years older than me. Even though he's much less able to do things physically than he could 10 years ago, he's still here with me to talk to and laugh with and worry about me.
But I think it's good for spouses to have a break from each other - cleaning the house is a great example.
Kim - I don't know how you are able to have so much company, but I am thrilled that works for you. Funny - if family visits, they have to eat whatever I throw on the table. People I don't know well, like DH's relatives and friends, I work myself into a frazzle and more often than not don't even try.. "let's go out to eat"..."I'll order a pizza".
DH is going to drive himself to his annual rheumatologist appointment today. I'm not going with him, though I have in the past. I'm sure he'll make it there and back just fine as he's made the annual trip to Dr. J for about 20 years now. For him, going to a new doctor or having something worrisome going on sends him into high anxiety so I end up driving and navigating him through everything.
Janetr - that hibiscus is lovely.
Katla - so glad to hear Arrow is on the mend. And sorry to hear your DH is in pain from the PT.
OK, better get on the move here. Make it a great day, ladies!
Lanette
Cool & rainy SW WA State3 -
Morning again Ladies~
I have my DGD here and we will pick Alfie up in a bit,,, We will be going to get our hair done..
Machka~ after 2 failed marriages I am fine living on my own and smarted up alot.. I can come and go as I please. I don't have to listen to anyone but me.. I have my dog.. and im ok with that..
won't ever get married again3 -
The drizzle today is enough to keep me away from yard work and inside doing paperwork and household chores but no deterrent to dog walking. My first teaching job was on an Air Force Base in Okinawa. What a beautiful place to live. I was there for two years and in retrospect, didn't appreciate it nearly enough.Katla, When my husband went to physical therapy, he would come home and tell me that the Physical Therapist should be arrested for hurting him so much. When I went to physical therapy after my spine surgery, I was in more pain than I had been after the surgery, but the long term effect was excellent. We have been watching several TV series produced and set in the UK. We have had to resist the great human tendency to make generalizations about a place based on what we see on TV. However, we've seen scenery, homes, food, and people that are amazing. Barbie in NW WA 3
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Good morning my friends. Have food and workout logged, two cups of coffee with Cafe Bella protein added. Off to "wog" on the treadmill before it gets way too hot.
Love you my friends,
Janetr OKC3 -
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Machka- lucky I miss lemon black tea. Live too far from family to get such treats from great aunt y their kids of course only 1 lives near me but men don’t carry such things!
Beth Buffalo- Sounds like poor 2yr old JRs diagnosing.Then we were told all the information they got to help told we would do better on our own trying everything out there.Well thanks glad to know that lol. So luckily I know medical stuff in 2 languages so read articles in both plus my previous knowledge created a 3cream in one mix to cover eczema y Keratosis Pilaris. Then bought Vaseline y baby balmex diaper cream they seal the creams in so he can’t get them off as easily we soak in tubs put clothes y diaper on while wet. (No rubbing or scrubbing him in the tub just a soft sponge lightly use or hand 🖐. Make sure clothes are clean to areas he touches. We also got some hydrocortisone in case a major flare up.
Terri- oh goodness hopefully they can fix that doesn’t seem fair for it not to work in 1 country but does in another.It looked like a new feature said they were still working on some android phones even. So might be something to retry later on maybe they’ll catch up.
Lanette-So true on triggers stemming from childhood some are stuck to good memories like Birthday Cake others can stem from abuse (I’ve been sexually abused before very common) . Spousal/live in Boyfriend abuse can be a trigger seen folks 300+ lbs while married to them fighting to survive.Get loose drop down to a beauty model physic! If your family had bad eating habits we tend to adopt them too until someone decides to change it for their kids y them.
Mother-in-law- easy answer there many call their child’s grandma their mother-in-law whether married,live in boyfriend for sometimes 50+ yrs (have a good friend she waited for him to propose he still hasn’t now if he asks she’ll say no he doesn’t believe in marriage she’s fine with that they have wonderful kids his family y hers have vacations to birthdays together...his parents moved in with them due to old age their in their 70’s so parents are around 90 she deserves to use the term wife to Soouce-in-laws after putting up with him even when he was deployed came back with PTSD), some like my cousin had a kid in her teens the grandma said just call me Mother-in-law even tho they never married the grandma was very involved in the babies life (good news the Daddy never was able to produce anymore kids! Karma but him in the butt for saying I don’t want a baby girl ).
Stuck on the 164-169 range can’t seem to go lower so keep on trucking until these stubborn pounds pop off! Eating healthy to excersice they’ll give way soon enough.
Amber Tx3 -
Lanette - for me it's the laughing that's the most important. DH has a great sense of humour and a lovely sideways way of looking at life. Our conversation is light and optimistic. We cheer each other up. We flip things for each other.
Talking about therapy...... as many of you know I was sexually abused by my father as a child. The twist on that is that he was very 'loving' and made me believe I was the only love of his life. I became addicted to that feeling. Hence my depression when I don't have the gaze of a beloved.
Of course he was just a normal paedophile and had many other sexual victims, but, as a child he made me feel 'special' in a twisted, very distorted way. I have carried that burden all my life and am attempting to come to terms with it in my memoirs.
Knowing why is a help, but the feelings come back anyway.
I hope you will be able to understand your sugar binges. If you want to message me, please do. :-)
Much love to all, Heather UK XXXXXX6
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