Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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Replies

  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 997 Member
    I was kidnapped by mimes once.

    They did unspeakable things to me.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 268,882 Member
    What do you call a fat psychic?

    A four-chin teller
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD

    It cuts like a knife
  • brustmannzwei
    brustmannzwei Posts: 1,124 Member
    Whoever determines the funniest one liner comedians needs to check y’all’s out because this is comedy gold.
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    My girlfriend broke up with me because I only have nine toes.

    She's lack toes intolerant.

    😂😂😂 you win
  • FeelinFooFoo
    FeelinFooFoo Posts: 4,738 Member
    My girlfriend broke up with me because I only have nine toes.

    She's lack toes intolerant.

    jeilos7554bb.gif
  • foster1503
    foster1503 Posts: 391 Member
    The worst pub i’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

    It was a vile inn.
  • FeelinFooFoo
    FeelinFooFoo Posts: 4,738 Member
    What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ?

    Hold onto your nuts, this will be no ordinary blow job.

    Oh! I'm using this one! 😂

    😂🌴
  • 1pandabear
    1pandabear Posts: 336 Member
    Diatonic12 wrote: »
    Waiter: Do you want a box for the leftovers?

    No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

    :D
  • 1pandabear
    1pandabear Posts: 336 Member
    A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

    Dyslexics, UNTIE!
  • foster1503
    foster1503 Posts: 391 Member
    Just watched an illegal immigrant get into a fight with Prince Andrew.

    Alien Vs Predator.
  • Miss_Chiev0us
    Miss_Chiev0us Posts: 1,592 Member
    What did the bra say to the hat?

    You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift.
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    you know what the worst thing about wearing crocs is?

    when its raining outside your socks get wet
  • FeelinFooFoo
    FeelinFooFoo Posts: 4,738 Member
    iMago wrote: »
    you know what the worst thing about wearing crocs is?

    when its raining outside your socks get wet

    But this isn't a joke is it ?

    This is just what happened to you today, isn't it ??
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    Why did the Invisible Man turn the job down?

    He just couldn't see himself doing it.