Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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Replies

  • Miss_Chiev0us_
    Miss_Chiev0us_ Posts: 2,208 Member
    Apparently you can't use "Beefstew" as a password.

    It's not Stroganoff
  • 1chesc
    1chesc Posts: 176 Member
    A man got hit in the head with a can of coke. Thankfully he is alright because it was a soft drink.
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,036 Member
    Two fish were in a tank. One says to the other: "Shall I drive?"
  • CurseofDolkite
    CurseofDolkite Posts: 31 Member
    I passed a Mount Olive Baptist Church while walking last week and was reminded that when Napoleon went to Mount Olive, Popeye got pissed.
  • AlwaysWanderer
    AlwaysWanderer Posts: 641 Member
    Where does a General keep his armies?

    In his sleevies.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.


    Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!

    :#
  • Eddie_Run_Bike_Swim_Gym
    Eddie_Run_Bike_Swim_Gym Posts: 166 Member
    A cheese sandwich walks into a bar....

    Barman : "Sorry we don't serve food"..
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,771 Member
    Does an Amish man rowboat his wife?
  • Bigjuicy2point0
    Bigjuicy2point0 Posts: 926 Member
    Why don't cows listen?

    What ever you say goes in one ear and out the udder
  • Minion_training_program
    Minion_training_program Posts: 13,437 Member
    My wife told me to be more in touch with my feminin side
    So i wrecked the car while parking
    Then i stopped ignoring her for no particulair reason
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,036 Member
    Diarrhea is genetic. It runs in your jeans.
  • Minion_training_program
    Minion_training_program Posts: 13,437 Member
    Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
    In case they get a hole in one


    What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
    Sofishticated


    My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape.
    That would be a big step forward


    What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
    A satisfactory
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,036 Member
    Sergeant to squaddie: I didn't see you today at camouflage training
    Squaddie to sergeant: Thank you, sir!
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 14,702 Member
    What did the grape say when the Elephant stepped on it?


    Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

    My dad loved telling this joke till the end. 😂
  • Minion_training_program
    Minion_training_program Posts: 13,437 Member
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  • AJ20011
    AJ20011 Posts: 18 Member
    What did the policeman say to his belly button?

    You're under a vest.
  • CoffeeNstilettos
    CoffeeNstilettos Posts: 2,593 Member
    b1vru0775bx2.jpg
  • honey_honey_12
    honey_honey_12 Posts: 14,702 Member
    udpwa7i06bre.jpeg
  • Minion_training_program
    Minion_training_program Posts: 13,437 Member
    I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
    I don't know Y


    What did the plate say to the other plate?
    Dinner's on me


    What kinda tree fit's in your hand?
    A Palm tree


    What do you call a elephant that doesn't matter
    A Irrelphant
  • CoffeeNstilettos
    CoffeeNstilettos Posts: 2,593 Member
    corinasue1143 wrote: »
    I’ve been talking about dried grapes a lot lately.
    Raisin awareness.
    😂
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,771 Member
    Cucumbers hate becoming pickles...
    it's a jarring experience
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

    What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.

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