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Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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  • s131951s131951 Member Posts: 3,721 Member Member Posts: 3,721 Member
    What does a nosey pepper do ? It gets jalapeño business !

    That's hot all the way to Scoville.
  • cowsfan12cowsfan12 Member Posts: 2,387 Member Member Posts: 2,387 Member
    How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas??

    He felt his presents
  • piggy_smallspiggy_smalls Member Posts: 129 Member Member Posts: 129 Member
    I told my suitcase that there will be no vacations for the rest of the year.

    I'm now dealing with emotional baggage.
  • piggy_smallspiggy_smalls Member Posts: 129 Member Member Posts: 129 Member
    My wife asked, "you're not evening listening to me, are you?"

    That's a weird way to start a conversation.
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Member Posts: 248,559 Member Member Posts: 248,559 Member
    Did ya hear about the italian chef?

    He pasta way

    :#
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,308 Member Member Posts: 8,308 Member
    What do you call a sleeping bull?

    A bull-dozer.
  • mytyglotzmytyglotz Member Posts: 1,123 Member Member Posts: 1,123 Member
    I have nothing but chuckles and laughter to contribute here, but I must ask a question that's been burning in my mind since first reading this thread:

    Where on Earth do you all find these jokes??
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,308 Member Member Posts: 8,308 Member
    On the innertube

    tenor.gif?itemid=3547094
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,308 Member Member Posts: 8,308 Member
    Waiter: Do you want a box for the leftovers?

    No, but I'll wrestle you for them.
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,308 Member Member Posts: 8,308 Member
    I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.

    But then I turned myself around.
  • Diatonic12Diatonic12 Member Posts: 8,308 Member Member Posts: 8,308 Member
    Mountains aren't just funny.

    They're hill-areas.
  • piggy_smallspiggy_smalls Member Posts: 129 Member Member Posts: 129 Member
    I've started carrying a stone in my pocket to throw at anyone who sings Christmas songs before Thanksgiving.

    I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
  • RAinWARAinWA Member Posts: 1,757 Member Member Posts: 1,757 Member
    What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
  • piggy_smallspiggy_smalls Member Posts: 129 Member Member Posts: 129 Member
    A man walks into a sperm bank.

    The nurse says to her co-worker, "Would you get a load of this guy?"
  • slimgirljo15slimgirljo15 Member Posts: 248,559 Member Member Posts: 248,559 Member
    "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese."
  • piggy_smallspiggy_smalls Member Posts: 129 Member Member Posts: 129 Member
    What did the church mouse say to the other mice?

    "Have you accepted cheeses as your Lord and Savior?"
  • piggy_smallspiggy_smalls Member Posts: 129 Member Member Posts: 129 Member
    Bilbo Baggins wakes up and hears someone singing, "Don't Stop Believing".

    It was truly an unexpected Journey.
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