Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

maureenseel1984

I can't be the only one that likes them.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Unknown

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Cowsfan1

What was Tigger doing in the toilet??

Trying to find Pooh

maureenseel1984

maureenseel1984 wrote: »

I can't be the only one that likes them.

Wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Nevermind. It's too cheesy.

And Cowsfan1-HAHAHAHAHA

drmwc

Two athletes are at the Olympics. One asks the other: "Are you a pole vale vaulter?" The other replies: "No, I'm German. How did you know my name?"

maureenseel1984

drmwc wrote: »

Two athletes are at the Olympics. One asks the other: "Are you a pole vale vaulter?" The other replies: "No, I'm German. How did you know my name?"

drmwc wrote: »

Two athletes are at the Olympics. One asks the other: "Are you a pole vale vaulter?" The other replies: "No, I'm German. How did you know my name?"

Bahahahahaha!

Two guys walked into a bar...

You'd think the second guy would have seen it.

tinuz

3D printers can print guns now....

Not impressed, had a canon printer for years

tinuz

i'm confinced that highlighters are the pens of the future.......

......mark my words

tinuz

what do you call a sweden that doesn't like modern music.....

.....Bjorn in the wrong generation

sweetbe44

When a clown farts, does it smell funny?

sweetbe44

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?


Wipes his butt!

TheMrWobbly

Three old guys walking along
Old guy 1 "Windy isn't it"
Old guy 2 "No it's not it's Thursday"
Old guy 3 "So am I, let's have a drink"

tinuz

How do people loose their kids in a mall.....??



.........seriously, any tips are welcome.

Cowsfan1

maureenseel1984 wrote: »

drmwc wrote: »

Two athletes are at the Olympics. One asks the other: "Are you a pole vale vaulter?" The other replies: "No, I'm German. How did you know my name?"

drmwc wrote: »

Two athletes are at the Olympics. One asks the other: "Are you a pole vale vaulter?" The other replies: "No, I'm German. How did you know my name?"

Bahahahahaha!

Two guys walked into a bar...

You'd think the second guy would have seen it.

My version is slightly different

2 guys walked into a bar - the third one ducked

Cowsfan1

How did darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas????


He felt his presents

Cowsfan1

How much did Santa sleigh cost??


Nothing , it was on the house

tinuz

There is a mysterious crime spree going on at IKEA

The cops are having a hard time putting all the pieces together

tinuz

What people never get angry.....??

Nomads

Cowsfan1

What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of the computer ....

The space bar

Amirite @JustReadTheInstructions

tuckerrj

Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop".

tinuz

Patient: "Doctor, i can't stop singing Tom Jones songs"

Doctor: "it's not unusual..."

s131951

Me: 'That bird nearly flew into us."
Dad: ' It was a crows encounter of the bird kind.'

tinuz

my wife told me "don't get upset if someone calles you fat"

"you're much bigger then that"

ColetteM6

Did you hear about that circus fire?...
It was in tents.

hannahland18

A Proton walks into a bar.
He ask the bar tender “how much for a drink?”

The bar tender replies “for you, no charge” 😉

s131951

hannahland18 wrote: »

A Proton walks into a bar.
He ask the bar tender “how much for a drink?”

The bar tender replies “for you, no charge” 😉

You have me. Though maybe a neutron?

tinuz

My wife caught me cross dressing and told me it was over.

So i packed up all of her clothes and left

bojack5

Why did the peanut have a black eye?

He was a salted peanut......

drmwc

^ took me a while to get that one.

I went to the zoo recently. It was rubbish - it only had one animal, a small dog.

It was a Shih Tzu.

honeybee__12

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?


Nothing,
he just let out a little w(h)ine.

honeybee__12