Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    My dog ate my Computer science homework.....

    ....it took him a couple of bytes only
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    just realized my countertop is made of marble.....

    i have taken it for granite all these years
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    i've dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia....

    i will not rest untill i find it!!!
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
    waswGGt.jpg
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    :expressionless:
    wx6f458uez0i.jpg
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
    05r0sg6vbaa6.jpg
  • johnbtay3
    johnbtay3 Posts: 170 Member
    When is a door not a door
    When it is ajar
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm the worst offender in my household. Last night I had soup for dinner and kept saying how "SOUPER" it tasted. My husband just shakes his head. Neither of us are dads.
  • johnbtay3
    johnbtay3 Posts: 170 Member
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    I'm the worst offender in my household. Last night I had soup for dinner and kept saying how "SOUPER" it tasted. My husband just shakes his head. Neither of us are dads.

    Ya know...that joke has a lot of substance to it
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    edited February 2020
    Q: why do you never see elephants hiding in palm trees?

    A: because they are really, really good at it.






    .
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    I have a watch dog; I named him Timex.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    I ordered both an egg and a chicken from Amazon.


    .... I'll let you know.
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,669 Member
    We all know why 6 was afraid of 7 cause 7 - 8 -9 .... but do you know why 7 actually 8 - 9 ??

    Because it’s recommended you eat 3 squared meals a day
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,139 Member
    What is an anagram of the Banach Tarski Paradox?

    The Banach Banach Tarski Tarski Paradox Paradox.
  • johnbtay3
    johnbtay3 Posts: 170 Member
    Did you hear about the illiterate hooker?
    She went to work at a warehouse
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,669 Member
    Why did Karen press Ctrl + alt + Del?

    She wanted to see the task manager
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,139 Member
    I met a Dalek at the pub last night. I asked it where it was from.

    It said: "Exeter, mate". I didn't hear properly, so I asked: "What?"

    It shouted in reply "EXETER, MATE! EXETER, MATE!"

  • bidingmytime
    bidingmytime Posts: 129 Member
    These are great. Best thread ever.
    cowsfan12 wrote: »
    Why did Karen press Ctrl + alt + Del?

    She wanted to see the task manager

    Literally made me LOL.

    Okay, here's one:

    Q: Why don't ants ever get sick?

    A: Because they have little antibodies.
  • _Miss_chievous_
    _Miss_chievous_ Posts: 2,765 Member
    g7v1662wy6d0.jpg
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,669 Member
    Why does Peter Pan always fly ?

    Cause he can neverland
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,669 Member
    edited March 2020
    If you don’t know the difference between their , there and they’re .... your an idiot 🤷‍♂️
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

    Fo' drizzle
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,669 Member
    If you think Thursdays are depressing.. wait 2 days —- it will be a sadder day 😂
  • AngryViking1970
    AngryViking1970 Posts: 2,847 Member
    Why did the skeleton cross the road?

    To get to the body shop.

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