Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    Who can drink 20 litres of fuel?

    Jerrycan
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    I got Prince tickets for $20 once - but partied like they were $19.99
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    My first experience in an elevator was a very uplifting experience....

    My second one was a total let down
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    got fired form my job at the bank today.....

    an old lady came in and asked me to check her balance....so i pushed her over.
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    What do you do if your ps4 is crying ???

    You console it
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    What did cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive.....

    Someday my prints will come
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    I had a really cheesy joke but don’t think you’ll understand.....

    It’s Swiss 🤷‍♂️
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    Wanna here a joke about a giraffe with a sore throat??

    Forget it - it’s too long
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    Most ppl think thr first French fries were cooked in France - ...

    But really they were cooked in grease
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    What’s the longest word in the dictionary??

    Smiles - there’s a mile between the S’s

    Smile mfp’ers it’s Friday!!
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    Cop: i'm arresting you for illegally downloading the entire wikipedia!
    Man: Wait, i can explain everything
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    What does the moon do when he needs haircut??

    E’ clips
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    If your Tesla gets stolen is it now an Edison ?
  • getitamb
    getitamb Posts: 2,019 Member
    What do a bear with an ear?


    B
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    someone got accused of burying a person on cement.....

    .....but there was no concrete evidence
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    My wife screamed in pain during labor - so I asked “What’s wrong” - she screamed “ these contractions are killing me” - I replied “sorry honey, what IS wrong”
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    I can’t find my gone in 60 seconds dvd....

    It was here a minute ago
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    edited January 2020
    I’m a huge Star Wars fan and my wanted a divorce...

    I replied ...

    May Di Vorce be with you
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,689 Member
    Where did Captain Hook buy his hook??

    The second hand store
  • renydo2
    renydo2 Posts: 2,153 Member
    What do you call a fake noodle?

    An impasta
  • johnbtay3
    johnbtay3 Posts: 170 Member
    Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 ate 9

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