The Mildly Passive-Aggressive Mid-life/Existential Crisis Terrible Poetry Thread

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  • Yoshiboobs
    Yoshiboobs Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Among us is an imposter
    Death to all who foster
    Lies and deceit
    Tis' thier favorite treat

    Do not point the finger at I
    I swear that I did so spy
    The perpetrator doing the deed
    Your suspicion of me they do need

    Imposter your lies didn't cause me to die
    For half and half caused a tie
    Can someone watch me do a task
    So I can prove that I do not wear a mask?

    Victory is mine at last
    Rejoice in that simple task
    You fools it was I
    Thank gawd for that *kitten* tie
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,623 Member
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    9 pm tolls
    Before I become a troll
    There's no longer a spell
    No wand
    No kiss
    For you see its very
    Simple

  • MaltedTea
    MaltedTea Posts: 6,286 Member
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    iMago wrote: »
    i never feel too dour

    despite the lateness of the hour

    but sometime I find myself quite bored

    can someone please open the door
    get on the floor
    everybody walk the dinosaur

    😭 And now I hate that I've been bumping this song on Spotify for the past two weeks.

    Boom boom! Shakalaka boom BOOM!
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,986 Member
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    There was a young woman who said
    My calories are too high, I dread
    getting fat is no good
    Reduce them I should
    but first I will go back to bed.
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Dark and lonely on the summer night.
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Watchdog barking – Do he bite?
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    Slip in his window,
    Break his neck!
    Then his house
    I start to wreck!
    Got no reason —
    What the heck!
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
    C-I-L-L …
    My land – lord …

    It's after midnight and I'm pretty sure I'm alone in here
    But I had to pop on and say
    I've been laughing about this poem for two days.

  • scratchmyTwitch
    scratchmyTwitch Posts: 218 Member
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    Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz wrote: »
    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Taco cat
    Eulb era steloiv
    Der era sesor

    I never noticed that are backwards is era. Very cool
  • CaramonM
    CaramonM Posts: 263 Member
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    The human phenomenon is but the sum
    Of densely coiled layers of illusion
    Each of which winds itself on the supreme insanity
    That there are persons of any kind
    When all there can be is mindless mirrors
    Laughing and screaming as they parade about
    in an endless dream
    Eating ice cream
  • JessBbody
    JessBbody Posts: 523 Member
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    Stuck in the house
    I can't get out
    It's chaos in my town
    Nowhere to go
    nothing to do
    It's got me feeling down

    It travels by air
    It's all out there
    But I'm safe in here
    I wish I had beer

    A boring day
    But I worked out - hooray!
    I should have cleaned
    Or even preened
    But I have yet to wash

    I've sat on my hiney
    Without being whiney
    And several times did nosh

    I should play with my Canon
    Or dance nude with abandon
    Instead of writing a ditty
    But all I will do
    For the rest of this night
    Is post on mfp
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Alone, adrift in an endless sea
    You float by, ever ceaselessly
    I don't understand still
    Why you bother dear

    I'm nothing but trouble, an endless drain
    Emotionally a constant strain
    One day you'll get it
    And possibly leave

    Until then, I remain by your side
    Languishing, along now for the ride
    Wishing I were elsewhere
    Occupying some other space


  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
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    I
    Am.

    Phew, that was hard.
  • Miz_Owl
    Miz_Owl Posts: 3,026 Member
    edited December 2020
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    .
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Early morning gone
    A chair, a drill, fleeting song
    Teeth fixed, now am numb
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,623 Member
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    Roses
    Roses
    Garbage
    Garbage

    You're welcome
  • halseyelizabeth
    halseyelizabeth Posts: 1 Member
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    I'm home.
    No safe reason to leave;
    Boxes come in
    So I won't go out in one.
  • Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz
    Sophisticatted_Gentlemanz Posts: 513 Member
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    My cat wears my shoes
    They are a little too big
    But he doesn’t care
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    Winter solstice comes
    Darkest evening of the year
    Gift, the blessed cold

    * I posted this on my feed, so figured the rest of you could have my tiny haiku, too. It's not good, but it's a thing, so here ya go.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,623 Member
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    Roses are red, that much is true
    Violets are purple, not fing blue :#
    -anonymous
  • Danw586
    Danw586 Posts: 237 Member
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    Do those squats
    Eat that protein
    Get that rest

    That was short

    That’s
    What
    She
    Said

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