The Bad Advice Thread

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Replies

  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    happimess01 wrote: »
    If you accidentally go to second base with a stranger, just tell her, “I didn’t even feel anything.”


    Feel free to stretch that double base hit into a triple !

    .... if there's a throwing error, who knows where it could take you.
  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,541 Member
    If someone does a good job or makes you proud give them an encouraging smack on the butt so they know you appreciate their efforts.
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,235 Member
    Lather, rinse, repeat. It’s fine to skip a step here or there.
  • Minion_training_program
    Minion_training_program Posts: 13,438 Member
    Just walk in a crowd during a zombie apocalypse
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,235 Member
    michaelroode1980 wrote: »
    Let your ex wife movie into your house you will get to see your kids more it will be fun

    Haha! Nice.
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    Always make sexual innuendos with your boss. Sure fire way to secure a promotion!
  • Cricketmad88
    Cricketmad88 Posts: 415 Member
    All roads in the UK are 1 way so you only ever need to look left when crossing the road
  • MichelleWithMoxie
    MichelleWithMoxie Posts: 1,817 Member
    Don’t worry about paying taxes. The IRS is a conspiracy made up by big pharma.
  • PruneJuice2point0
    PruneJuice2point0 Posts: 305 Member
    If you get pulled over for speeding, just explain that you got there as fast as you could.
  • pizzamyheart
    pizzamyheart Posts: 1,836 Member
    Don't bother setting an alarm when you have an important day. You can be 100% sure that your body will just know when to wake up.
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    Do not make the bed, do the laundry or wash the dishes...someone else will take care of it
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    edited October 2019
    isalsayourface123 wrote: »
    Do not make the bed, do the laundry or wash the dishes...someone else will take care of it

    If the trash can is full, just toss stuff on top of it. You shouldn’t be touching it. It’s not your job to empty it.
  • _Miss_chievous_
    _Miss_chievous_ Posts: 2,765 Member
    edited October 2019
    Always leave the toilet seat up guys, we love it when we're sleepy in the morning and go pee.
  • vollkornbloedchen
    vollkornbloedchen Posts: 2,243 Member
    Follow your heart
  • vollkornbloedchen
    vollkornbloedchen Posts: 2,243 Member
    isalsayourface123 wrote: »
    Do not make the bed, do the laundry or wash the dishes...someone else will take care of it

    Or in other words:
    Three minutes of messing up the household will spare you a lifetime of housework ...
  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,541 Member
    If you buy an automatic car you can nod off whilst driving
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,235 Member
    Always line up for a concert at least 12 hours early. If you’re lucky they may use a jackhammer right where you’re standing!!!! Yay!!
    mwwwb8o7jttc.jpeg
  • Cricketmad88
    Cricketmad88 Posts: 415 Member
    MelG7777 wrote: »
    Always line up for a concert at least 12 hours early. If you’re lucky they may use a jackhammer right where you’re standing!!!! Yay!!
    mwwwb8o7jttc.jpeg

    Anyone else think he's gonna lose his foot doing it that way!
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,235 Member
    To romantically wooo a women....ask her one of the following:
    “What kind of panties are you wearing?”
    Or
    “Natural, bare or trimmed”

    Preferably but the 1st or 2nd time you’ve chatted.

    We’ve heard these questions very rarely but we sure do love them!
  • maureenkhilde
    maureenkhilde Posts: 849 Member
    I am sure someone turned off the electric fence, It is safe to grab hold of now.
  • maureenkhilde
    maureenkhilde Posts: 849 Member
    Sure treat the red stoplight as a stop sign, it is late at night, you will never get caught.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    1sphere wrote: »
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    happimess01 wrote: »
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    happimess01 wrote: »
    If you accidentally go to second base with a stranger, just tell her, “I didn’t even feel anything.”

    This happened to me yesterday

    This is one of my biggest fears along with walking in on my parents. I would die of embarrassment :s

    Meh accidental boob touching 🤷‍♀️. The lady apologized. She said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ... do that.”
    I’m pretty sure she meant to do it
    She was so embarrassed 😂
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    1sphere wrote: »
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    happimess01 wrote: »
    your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
    happimess01 wrote: »
    If you accidentally go to second base with a stranger, just tell her, “I didn’t even feel anything.”

    This happened to me yesterday

    This is one of my biggest fears along with walking in on my parents. I would die of embarrassment :s

    Meh accidental boob touching 🤷‍♀️. The lady apologized. She said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ... do that.”
    I’m pretty sure she meant to do it
    She was so embarrassed 😂

    I was embarrassed, 🤦‍♀️
  • MelG7777
    MelG7777 Posts: 14,235 Member
    Dogs love it if you play with their food while they’re eating.

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